John Mulaney: "I've Been Nervous for 35 Years" 

this tall child was once a small adult

The summer I turned 12 was when all those kids were getting abducted and murdered in Atlanta. Also, there had been the body of a 6 year old in a trash bag found in one of the local rivers in my city before school had let out that year. Every kid on my block under 14 was scared, so we all played/hung out together to be safe, even if before there were cliques of kids who didn't like each other.

"I've always been nervous" *does cocaine*

Interesting; The lack of color makes my brain focus more on the conversation.

"I've been nervous for 35 years" Me, a 22 year old: Same

To quote David Mitchell: "There are two types of children: timid and reckless. To save the lives of reckless children, warnings are calibrated for their mentality. The upshot of which is that timid children spend their lives in perpetual terror"

maybe Different Strokes was intended for different folks

since no one else seems to be saying it . . . damn he looks good. that outfit. yes.

I was exactly this type of child. A small adult unimpressed with other children because they were children.

Get some rest, tall child!

it's so weird seeing him without a suit...

John realizes what he got himself into at 2:37

I LOVE love love seeing comedians when they're just talking and being themselves.

It’s the room he was sitting in eating saltines

@2:37 It’s almost as if he had never actually considered that point and is only realizing the potential for disaster now

There is being nervous....and then there is being comfortably nervous.....Classic!

“i’ve been nervous for 35 years.” me, a 14 year old: same

John Mulaney is one of the most interesting people alive and I cannot get enough of him.

LMAO sitting and having a nice conversation with clenched fists. Me af.

"Every single sitcom, including Different Strokes, Different Strokes, and Different Strokes."

I watched Law and Order SVU quite a lot as a child. Also the movie Jaws, IT, made for tv movies about stalkers, kidnappers, child molesters, etc. I was scared of strangers, clowns, and sharks, in that order. I'm still scared of strangers but the clowns and sharks I can handle now.

What is it about black n white that makes him look so hot??

i cried when he showed his hands, because he may be joking about it, but i've been nervous all my life too, so... he might not be joking... and i just want him to be fine

he has a weird handsomeness to him, like his eyes are too far apart, but his smile compensates for that

I'd love to hear John sit down here again post rehab. Wish you well, John.

Not everyone believes in astrology, but John Mulaney is a Virgo and he fits it so well!!!

he bought a magazine and sat down at a diner to read it... alone...? He was literally a child of the 1930’s wow.

.. shouldn't I be accompanied by an adult ? ( Great).

I don’t mean to sound glad that Mulaney has anxiety, but it is kind of comforting to me. I’m 18 and have so much of it and it seems like it doesn’t affect anyone else. Good to know someone I look up to is also super tense every time he walks down the street.

"Ive been nervous for 35 years" bruh im only 21 but such a mood

Hits different

So America's tall child was also America's youngest adult. What an interesting person

1:39 #MeToo 2:49 'Catastrophic anxiety'. #BillHader has that as well. Initially he was crazy worried the rigging or lighting, the big sound boom - whatever - would fall on him.

What an adorable bug boy

What he says about being scared as a child and thinking that bad things are inevitable is extremely relatable to me. I'd hate any adult who would "accidentally" talk about some graphic child murder that was on the news because it made me paranoid to no end. I'm sure there are residues of that now in my adulthood-- I just have a billion other things taking up space in my head.

The sound quality of this show is so good

John mulaney is so awesome thanks to his honesty

It's so weird seeing him in normal clothes

2:27 You have just witnessed the moment John Mulaney's comedy career ended

u look like brandon flowers from the killers

greatest fear? "being duped by a kidnapper"

I also growing up in the 90s in Canada, thought it was inevitable that I would be murdered or kidnapped. All the assemblys, and "stay alert! Stay safe" spots on tv lol

I want those shoes.

okay but john's anxiety about getting kidnapperd or molested is how i feel everyday. his experiences are basically what it's like to be a young girl in america

he really got a point tho, when I was little I was used to walk around my town (which is v small and not at all comparable to chicago, but still) all alone and my parents not only were fine with it but encouraged it, and it was pretty common for kids to be out unsupervised. I used to walk 1 km alone to school since 1st grade. nowadays children have to be accompanied to the school gate by an adult and teachers have to be there to make sure kids are being dropped off by someone instead of just turning up alone. and this makes kids less independent and also probably either terrified of going out alone or eager to go out on their own that they don't evaluate the risks. and mind you i was born in 1997.

I’m 44 and I’ve been anxious /nervous since kindergarten. As a child I dreamed almost every week of being kidnapped. (Sigh)

what are those shoes? my god theyre so nice

I read Rolling Stone on the subway in Toronto at 14 years old. Didn't "get it

Why am i getting a Holden Caulfield from the Catcher in The Rye vibe ? I mean Holden is not as funny as John

My childhood explained. I love you, John Mulaney.

Why not have the full show available on offcamera when these are posted? I gladly was going to purchase it after seeing this but it's not there! :(

I can understand his level of paranoia. I have anxiety too, and I'm always constantly on the look-out too lol.

I was a very adult child too. I relate so much to what he’s saying.

Does Jason Varitek know that he has a long lost brother?

""I've been nervous for like 35 years." -- Steven Seagal" -- Tom Segura"

I’ve also been nervous for 35 years, and I’m only 16

I wish that this was in color.

I was PETRIFIED of being abducted and sexually abused, as a child. I had to walk 3-4 blocks home from school and I was so scared I would almost pee myself.

I’ve been nervous for 26 years.

Why is this guy so relatable.....

Ok I’m pretty sure this is on camera

Please get john here again!

This is just John Mulaney in his natural color scheme

♥️♥️♥️

Sooo good!!!!

He seems like a neurotic mess.

Nice boots

The title is a virgo mood

I relate to this I always feel like I'm being watched and judged but started to perform as a pro wrestler and had no nervousness it was so fun

Interesting. As if feeling like you weren't a child when you were one prevented the letting go of childhood fears... To feel overly responsible as a child without the brain development and social freedom to deal with that is a recipe for anxiety and irrational fears. And to believe that the real adults have power over you. All makes sense.

It’s naive to believe that you will not be kidnapped, so I replaced that naivety with paranoia that I will absolutely be kidnapped.

John Mulaney bull?

The title to this video is so relatable

is it me, or is reading a magazine in a diner not weird at all?

This filter along with John's outfit and face just go so well together, and the quality is great

He is immortal and looked like this during the golden age of Greece.

The rebel chalk erroneously trick because increase ordinarily spell failing a addicted tornado. wanting, obedient cousin

What the hell are the captions

Really wishing John had a podcast right now 😭

I cant help but think of Andrew from big mouth when i hear him speak

The thumbnail gave me life

Never understood how nervous kids could try certain drugs. He was into psychedelics and that is 100% contrary to how my nervous brain worked. Valium, yes. Chill with control. Mushrooms? Never. If I jump out of a moving car I want it to be because I am just that stupid, not out of control.

I love this big kid

Through him, with him, and in him? Gross.

The title drew my attention because me

Obviously Diff’rent Strokes was a seminal program in John Mulaney’s upbringing

Quit secretly doing cocaine

so, he is immortal

I truly can’t express just how much I love John Mulaney ❤️🥰

I think I am in love with this guy 😂

Super relatable.... I was terrified of EVERTHING and EVERYONE! Such super irrational things too... but shit would keep me up all night. That was my childhood 😟

🤔 Are you sure you weren't watching Law and Order as a kid... because you definitely described Law and Order 😂

Can we PLEASE please please talk about how John Mulaney is always so hot in black and white. (I mean he's always hot, but black and white really just does something for him)

On the same vein as John re: Different Strokes, all 80’s show targeted to kids were PSAs. He’s absolutely correct about the shows about kidnapping. The other thing was kids getting braces, stuttering and getting their appendix removed. Shows in the 80’s were a mess.

Same deal with the kidnap and murder! I slept with a pillow over my head from ages 8-14 because I was terrified of being murdered

I'm sorry but i listen much actor or comedian have this problem, they are anxious, nervous, afraid.. It's not normal, people have to focus what is the sens of life.

The endcard has the same energy as a PSA for the ASPCA. He could have lifted up a puppy instead of a link and it wouldn't have surprised me.

Oh to be John Mulaney's therapist...

holy shit, we're both anxious about everything except being on stage. i fucking love this tall child

Prolly all the coke he does..