John Reed - Nightmare Song (Iolanthe).avi 

I have had the privilege of seeing John Reed who was magnificent.

This patter song is so intensely packed with brilliant descriptive verbosity. I've listened to several people attempting it and they must dread it. It's almost impossible to get the exact words in without stumbling or changing a few by mistake and most make quite a few mistakes with it if you listen carefully, but this comes very close to perfect

Unparalleled delivery, for me it's perfection. This is a very useful song to try and sing mentally while you're at the dentist's or having some unpleasant procedure done. I find it very helpful 🙂

John Reed what a man, superb pronunciation superb voice we will never see his like again❤❤

"You haven't been sleeping in clover" I don't know why, but that line always cracks me up.

Reed's voice will always be the voice of G&S for me. I can't imagine that even Grossmith was better.

John Reed, Valerie Masterson, The D'Oyly Carte Opera Company - no-one has ever come up to their standard (incl ENO).

Brings back memories--I grew up listening to Martyn Greene's performance of this piece (perhaps a bit older than this recording.)

Perfection. Why does this not have more likes?

This whole song is one brilliant tongue twister! 😄

1:36 listen to the music behind the words, and you begin to realise just how great a composer Sullivan was.

Here are the lyrics! (Recitative) Love, unrequited, robs me of my rest: Love, hopeless love, my ardent soul encumbers: Love, nightmare-like, lies heavy on my chest And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers! (Song) When you're lying awake With a dismal headache And repose is taboo'd by anxiety I conceive you may use Any language you choose To indulge in, without impropriety; For your brain is on fire The bedclothes conspire Of usual slumber to plunder you: First your counterpane goes And uncovers your toes And your sheet slips demurely from under you; Then the blanketing tickles You feel like mixed pickles So terribly sharp is the pricking And you're hot, and you're cross And you tumble and toss Till there's nothing ‘twixt you and the ticking Then the bedclothes all creep To the ground in a heap And you pick 'em all up in a tangle; Next your pillow resigns And politely declines To remain at its usual angle! Well, you get some repose In the form of a doze With hot eyeballs and head ever aching But your slumbering teems With such horrible dreams That you'd very much better be waking; For you dream you are crossing The Channel, and tossing About in a steamer from Harwich Which is something between A large bathing machine And a very small second-class carriage And you're giving a treat (Penny ice and cold meat) To a party of friends and relations They're a ravenous horde And they all came on board At Sloane Square and South Kensington Stations And bound on that journey You find your attorney (Who started that morning from Devon); He's a bit undersized And you don't feel surprised When he tells you he's only eleven Well, you're driving like mad With this singular lad (By the by, the ship's now a four-wheeler) And you're playing round games And he calls you bad names When you tell him that "ties pay the dealer"; But this you can't stand So you throw up your hand And you find you're as cold as an icicle In your shirt and your socks (The black silk with gold clocks) Crossing Salisbury Plain on a bicycle: And he and the crew Are on bicycles too Which they've somehow or other invested in And he's telling the tars All the particulars Of a company he's interested in It's a scheme of devices To get at low prices All goods from cough mixtures to cables (Which tickled the sailors) By treating retailers As though they were all vegetables You get a good spadesman To plant a small tradesman (First take off his boots with a boot-tree) And his legs will take root And his fingers will shoot And they'll blossom and bud like a fruit-tree From the greengrocer tree You get grapes and green pea Cauliflower, pineapple, and cranberries While the pastry-cook plant Cherry brandy will grant Apple puffs, and three corners, and Banburys The shares are a penny And ever so many Are taken by Rothschild and Baring And just as a few Are allotted to you You awake with a shudder despairing You're a regular wreck With a crick in your neck And no wonder you snore For your head's on the floor And you've needles and pins From your soles to your shins And your flesh is a-creep For your left leg's asleep And you've cramp in your toes And a fly on your nose And some fluff in your lung And a feverish tongue And a thirst that's intense And a general sense That you haven't been sleeping in clover; But the darkness has passed And it's daylight at last And the night has been long Ditto, ditto my song And thank goodness they're both of them over!

perfection

just learnt this one too! I have Jack Point's song learnt so I wanted something else to learn too, so I chose this one xD

Thanks! I love it, and I`m finnish.

My favourite singer by MILES. Such good diction.

I saw John Reed in person in 1976, at the D.C. Kennedy Center. D'Oyly Carte was doing its BiCenntial Tour, and he performed in H.M.S. Pinafore. He was spectacular. But strange: afterwards, my girlfriend and I saw the troupe in the parking lot: they were acting rather trashy. But still, John Reed was great; and it was only 6 years later that D'Oyly Carte disbanded.

I sang the Modern Major General in Pirates 2 seasons ago and next week im auditioning for the Lord Chancellor in Iolanthe. I hope i don't bomb!

Proper speed! x

Out of curiosity, I timed the fastest part of the song and it's only 12 seconds from "you're a regular wreck..." to "...clover"! IMHO he sacrificed some clarity which I enjoyed very much on Martyn Green's version, but this is still a gem, if not a record (pardon the pun). I don't think even his own 1960's recording was that fast. Is this version available on CD?

@tannerfani91 Hello tannerfani91 You're most welcome, and I'm very happy to hear from you! Thank you for commenting. I've enjoyed John Reed and G&S for decades, and thought that this vinyl merited posting. Labor of love, you know. Best Regards and Happy New Year!, David

hello again, i just responded to this with my version! :D hope you enjoy it!

Could be, adarkerlight. I think this is still enjoyable, though. I haven't heard them all--working on it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Best Regards, David

favourite version - lightness of touch

@Th0ughtf0rce Greetings, and thank you for your comments! Wonderful to hear your perspective, and expertise. One of a kind, was John Reed. I'm not aware of a CD of this album. Best Regards, David

Like you, I, too, grew up with the Martyn Green performances. Couldn't get enough of them. Great pity the recordings were all mono. Isn't Sullivan's orchestration superb, especially in this particular song. By the way, I've always thought that Isidore Godfrey's tempi were spot on. Malcolm Sargent, on the other hand, tended to be a bit too slow for my taste.

@UnclaimedFr8 Happy new year too. Reed is great.

Hello Gordon, Wow, that's ambitious! Not an easy piece--good for you. I'm glad you enjoy this--Best of luck! (Or is is 'break a leg', already? Best Regards, David

@92NordicQueen Hieno homma! Uskoin olevani Suomen ainoa G&S-fani!

I went to this and wow it is old also does anyone know a different the nightmare song that is SUPER hard to find?

Hello, and thank you for commenting! Haven't heard the Martyn Greene version yet--on my list. Great music. Best Regards, David

@92NordicQueen Joo, ne on ne kolme suosituinta. Itse olen Suomessa syntynyt, mutta jotenkin löytänyt nämä. Ensin Pinafore, sitten Pirates, sitten Mikado ja pikkuhiljaa kaikki muut. Tosi hyvää musiikkia!

0:55 for the when your lying awake part

I would have really loved seeing Martyn Green doing this number, Nightmare Song. Just listen to his LP patter song recording, if you can find it, and dig the difference between Green's character-filled performance with the SQUARE Reed interpretation, especially but not solely the triple rolled Rs' from Reed. Sorry, all you Reed fans, but in my judgement John Reed is a (not-even-close) second to Martyn Green. What a tragedy was Green's accident in the elevator!

This is a really slow version. I thought I had the John Reed version. guess not...

2:53

Mike Leigh did a terrible disservice to W.S. Gilbert in Topsy-Turvy by portraying him as something of an ogre. The many humorous lyrics written by Gilbert belie that characterisation.

1:29 1:35