Jordan Peterson’s Advice for Newlyweds 

Proposing to the woman of my life next week! Great timing with an amazing clip! Much love, Jordan and Tammy! Update: she said yes, you all are amazing. Much love.

The problem is when you take the other person for granted. Be grateful for them and your marriage. Treat them with the respect your wife/husband deserves as your spouse.

Married for half a year now, and we’re learning to not settle for the ugly/unhealthy parts about each other that we now see so clearly. I‘m so happy I wrote down alllll the beauty I saw in my husband when we first dated! It’s a treasure that I will go back to everytime I lose sight of the wonderful things about him. And then it‘s my job to actively see him through this lense of beauty, and love on him. Why? Because he deserves it? No. Because he is worth it. He is made to be loved. And I decided to be the nearest person to him that will love him. That doesn‘t mean to ignore the tricky things. We both are willing to learn to be responsible for our own negative emotions and to name and communicate our needs. But to love him AS IF he already was the perfect version of himself, really is my number one job for the rest of our married life. Ultimately I see this beautiful concept in God. He loves humans to death, he really really does. Jesus showed it when he thought we are worth dying for. And the most intimate picture for his love is the theme of bridegroom (Jesus) and bride (people who love him). He loves his unfinished, sinful, egoistic, broken bride not because she is so beautiful in every way, but TO LOVE/MAKE HER beautiful and healthy and bright. Love is the only thing that truly changes people.

4:32 “Your kids will benefit from the beauty of your relationship.” So true! My parents had a very beautiful relationship and I think that set a high standard for me. I’ve not yet been able to find the right partner to live up to that standard. But it has helped to have that great example to follow, because I won’t “settle” for a wrong person. I think that settling for a bad partner leads to a very unhappy situation. I think it’s worth holding out for and striving to find someone that you can have a beautiful relationship with.

Married 20 years to a beautiful woman who loves me better than she should. Those words- “don’t settle down, strive up!” Man, that’s where I’m striving the rest of my life. Thank you Petersons.

“You can see who they are at all stages of life at the same time” JP knows his stuff

Him giving this speech with his wife sitting happily next to him is a true testament to the validity of what he’s saying ~ makes me inspired to try all the harder to be my best in my own relationship

My wife and I make sure to have a date night once a week, no matter what. You need to focus on each other in order to make the family stronger. I tell all of my friends in relationships to do the same.

My Dad taught me you don't fall in love but you fall into a pit. You grow in love. Still growing in love!

When I asked my father-in-law how he and my mother-in-law managed to stay so happy and so in love with eachother while raising 5 kids and running a ranch, he said this: "I love our children. But I loved my wife first." Meaning they put their marriage first, building a solid foundation for their kids.

I cannot fathom that there are people in this world that exist to tear this man down. Much love!

My parents never argued. They never yelled at each other. They were always in agreement, they would make every important decision together. I want such a relationship as well. I know it is rare.

Jordan Peterson is always 100%. Another fantastic 8 minutes.

He always takes the words out of my mouth and articulates them in a way that keeps me thinking about it all day. Thanks for all you do Mr.. Peterson

Your kids benefit from the beauty of your relationship. Absolutely! I remember asking my parents to call each other my love. I remember they weren't affectionate or even NICE to each other. I wanted so badly for them to make an effort!!!

Oh man that last bit was so beautifully poetic it made me tear.

This was one of the most beautiful speeches I have ever heared. Mr. Petersons wisdom is just beautiful.

Getting married in 6 months. Let me tell you, after a lot of intense therapy and introspection I think I can finally say “I deserve love”. My fiancée saw something in me that I never knew I had: Value. I thought that I wasn’t deserving of a wife. I was addicted to alcohol, drugs, infidelity, and chaos. My 20’s were full of tough times. The long term damage is just shy of irreparable. In the 3 years we’ve been together I thought I was just prolonging the inevitable. Taking that next drink, taking that tab of ecstasy, having sex with another woman for the thrill of cheating…yeah. But I finally managed to get clean. 4 years since I have drank, done drugs, or had casual sex. I do deserve good things. In 6 months I’ll be married to my partner and can’t wait to see what the bright side of life looks like.

I have a very happy marriage, but this video makes me want to try even harder to be the best wife I can be ❤️🥰

This is one of the best interviews that not only gives me comfort but also really gives me hope in people.

Date nights are so important!! My husband and I have been so distracted with the craziness of life that our dates and romance have gone by the wayside. This was a great reminder of where we need to get back to. Our marriage feels so more full and loving when we take time to just focus on us. We have been together for 13 years, and it is easy to get complacent and lazy about your marriage.

My grandmother's advice was don't go to bed angry at each other.

The way he paints a concept is just beautifully compelling. It’s almost as if a theater play or a melody where being created in real time. ♥️

My biggest piece of advice would be if you have an argument, keep it going, say everything you feel about the subject, let them say everything they feel. Don’t hold anything in. Eventually you’ll run out of things to say. You’ll never hold a grudge, you’ll never need to bring up old arguments, you won’t keep emotions inside for them to build up. Yes it can be annoying at the time to go on and on but in my opinion going upstairs to calm down because you can’t be bothered arguing is a terrible idea because in the next argument you’ll bring it up. Then you’ve got 2 arguments, then they’ll tell you that was ages ago, then you’ve got 3 arguments all at once. Just talk to each other and tell each other everything. No secrets, no lying, no laziness. You’ll be much closer to them that way. Ps. You can see what I mean about me saying everything about a topic lol.

This is beautiful. Iv been with a man for a year and I feel like I can see a future with him. ❤ this advice helps a lot. I didn’t ever see an healthy relationship in my life, and I do want to keep him so I want to implement this into my life. Thank you Jordan Peterson.

Couples should take a look at this clip every year so as not to lose sight of it.

Unfortunately, what Jordan Peterson warned against is what happened to me and my former spouse. I have so many regrets that plague my mind every night wishing things were different.

An absolute diamond! So glad I had the privilege to hear this

I’m a glad you brought your wife into this conversation! That small point is key for me!❤

I think a lot of couples view marriage as a means of no longer having to woo your partner and that can cause the intimacy to suffer, compounded by the responsibilities of work and children. That spark is so important to keep nourished because you don't want to be years or even months into your marriage and lose that sense of awe that drew you to that person in the first place.

Strive UP! Yes and AMEN ❗. Thank you.

Newly engaged (03/05) Thank you Peterson

My daughter just got married and this video just came at the perfect time. I'm sharing this with her. Tq.

Every single video I ever watch of Jordan is so profound. Watching this video though it does feel like I am listening to my father giving me life lessons.

This is so much more than a good advice for newlyweds.

"Never stop pursuing" that's ours and it's worked really well for ten years

@Jordan. I am so grateful for many of your contributions to humanity.

Marriage is incredibly tough. Sometimes my wife gets so upset I have no idea why… my advice, do not go into it quickly or lightly. It’s really difficult.

That's a great extention of the "Clean your room" rule.

He’s Awseome🏆

this man is priceless

Just proposed to my now fiancé a few weeks ago, getting married next June. Thanks for the great advice Dr. Peterson!

Best summation I’ve ever heard.

What a spark of life this man is. Thank you for everything.

I really wish I could afford that suit he's in. Something about it reminds me of the joker from the old Batman movies.

Married 58 years. Only seems like yesterday. We talk all the time. Decisions are made after a thorough discussion between us. We make each other a priority. Cost 3 pounds to marry me and I remind him what a bargain he got :-)

"Your kids will greatly benefit from seeing the beauty of your relationship" 🎯 Watched my parents date 1x a week...best thing ever.

Oh this man is a gem..🎆

I kind of regret when my husband and I took a special night in a hotel and we spent a few minutes doing business. I didn't realize I should have kept them separate

Good advice for free!

I love how he is wearing the Harvey Twoface suit

so much wisdom... such an amazing individual

Good advice.

Jordan I hope you and Tammy visit massachusetts one day. I wonder how many people , like me, could sit for hours at your family's feet and bask in the love and adventure. Love to you all. Thank you a thousand times

Do not let anyone else make decisions for your household. The second a third person comes into the marriage, it gets messy. You’re not married to your in laws, you’re not married to your children, you’re not married to your parents… you and your spouse make the rules.

Dang good advice, doc.

Been married for 20 years… always say please and thank you. Go to bed angry if you are going in circles. Accept olive branches.

Such wonderfully beautiful healing could come from this view of marriage/companionship.

Having just lost my husband of 55 years, treasure the time you’ve had, and for some reason you forget the ups and downs and arguments! So I guess we were lucky!

Hes so right.

I’m a big U2 fan and Bono once said that marriage is like “jumping off a building and discovering that you can fly.” My wife and I have discovered that we can fly, but it takes a lot of work. She’s a nurse and actually saved my life. She’s always been the love of my life. Going on 25+ years with three beautiful children. And at the end of the day it is about true love, respect, putting your spouse first and commitment to your family.

I was there that night!

Im getting married to the woman of my dreams in 3 days (July 1)i am so glad i found this helpful video with advice to help us navigate our new life together.

A good understanding of the transition b/n dating + marriage. Thanks. Be safe Dr. PETERSON

This concept will die out. It's too stressful 💟

Separate bathrooms/toilets if you dont want the spark to go away within months. Right up there with communication/ respect, self care/fitness/stay appealing and dont stop being individuals. Just as important.

Please interview Esther Perel, you two share similar views on relationships i think

My parents often told me, when not in the presence of each other, what a lucky person they are to have such a wonderful husband/wife. That has been so important for me. And I want to say, so has Dr. Peterson. He has done wonders for my life and I keep finding out that people I know and people they know have had their lives improved by taking his advice. It's truly remarkable the amount of good he has done.

You're so wonderful :')

People don’t understand what it means to marry for a lifetime! They forget or don’t grasp that you must keep working at the relationship till the day you die just like you work at other relationships!

“Get in the god damn mood” yes sir! 🗣😹

My secret to marriage working so far is just being yourself and not letting life change you unless it’s a change that you both agree is a good change.

Back when I was still married I tried to do that but it became a constant fight over nothing. She would say she wanted to go out and have a good time but no matter where I took her all she did was complain about it. I switched things up a bit and told her that I would drive and pay for everything if she would pick where we went and what we did, that way she would be happy. We never went out again after that. Sure, she complained that we didn't go out but every time I said, No problem. I'll drive and pay, you pick. And then nothing ever happened.

Hi!

Is our Jordan starting a new dress trend!! We will see 👀

Every time I think this guy doesn’t have more things to teach me he proves me wrong

Thank you for reminding me to call my husband and invite him to the restaurant.

'someone might dare to fall in love with you'. Haha, I love JP.

Marriage is hard no doubt about it my wife and I just brought a beautiful little girl into this world last year! It’s even harder! It’s so worth it! Forgive and love your spouse! And make Jesus the rock in your marriage! You will go through many trials but never forget those vows you take! And always make time for each other! I’m beyond blessed almost 5 years married!! It is beyond anything I could have imagined! May you all find your spouse out there! Give it to the Good Lord!

Married 3 weeks. I’ll keep these points in mind.

In a lot of videos by Jordan Peterson about marriage, he talks about the prioritization of sex. I am subscribed to this channel named “Vanessa and Xander Marin” Vanessa is a sex therapist, and she and her husband run an awesome RU-vid channel educating about sex and sex communication especially in a long term relationship. Jordan Peterson often talks about planning out the practical details in a partnership and that's precisely what Vanessa and Xander have become experts on teaching when it comes to sex and also other aspects of a high quality and sustainable long term relationship. To anyone in the comments who is in a relationship and enjoys sex (or would like to enjoy it) I would highly recommend Vanessa and Xander Marin’s RU-vid channel and their book “Sex Talks”

Is this the same for longer term dating?

Over the last few months I've been working towards an honest desire for a girlfriend. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that, or if you really are "ready" to start a relationship in the first place. The logical next step is that I should improve myself till I'm "ready", and keep improving after that. One of the obstacles I've found is that I love stories and engineering so much that I don't presently have room for a special person in my life. Maybe I'll have to make more room, or adjust the space I already have. I've already had to sacrifice my raw desire for understanding people in exchange for the principle that I should love them first and understanding will happen on the way.

7:38 lol so cute

"...not other people"😂

It truly is a lucky few who will experience that

Been together since we were 14 it's been 25 years we just got married last year, not sure if we class as newly wed lol x

Also the audio is so low, it vasicly unlistenable without a separate amplifier system. So bump your audio up on your next video

We're 3rd year newlyweds. 😅

My advice to newly weds. Always meet the in laws on neutral territory and dont let them into your home for at least two years. If you are still married after that, you may see them once a year for no more than the time it takes to drink a cup of coffee.

This is total talk of the flesh within. Which of course is what we are use to. But, it is that last breath that really matters. You have another human being telling other human beings what should be done regarding this or another by what they so called accomplished (college, degrees) from another human beings (psychiatrists, professors, etc.) There is only one answer for newlyweds. If the man loves God more than his wife. And the woman loves God more than her husband. Then they will automatically love each other with the Love of Christ, a love that is unexplainable. Actually, Jesus will be your Psychiatrist. And not man.

Date night every week is impossible with 5 small kids, but that sounds heavenly ❤ Thankfully once a month or so is ok for now and we have a great relationship just talking and doing small connection type activities

Rip bouvet

Keep her full, you may get tired and want to stop but her essential need is more important than being bored.

Buckle up, buck-o. This is going to hurt.

What event are these clips coming from?

Which one of his books is he referring to

It's ironic my boss has the experience, knowledge, and skills to work wonderful wedding receptions.

Stay close to community, faith community, marriage is for spiritual people only. It is for adults. God comes before spouse. That keeps you safe.

5:54 not disagreeing but i mean genuinely isnt that way easier said then done? How would one go about manifesting that genuinely when one doesn't want to?