Kaworu Nagisa is a character I am NORMAL about 

kaworu x shinji is the only acceptable ship in eva

Kaworu is the person we all long to have in our lives on some fundamental level, even if we'd individually shape them differently to our preferences. Giving Shinji this chance at finding emotional fulfillment only to immediately have that hope ripped away was the most effective moment for me in conveying that sense of drowning in depression. That there's nothing external to you in this world that will ever give you that beatific feeling of seeing into your hated self yet validating your existence nonetheless. I can see why people wanted the happy fanfic universe where they' have an uncomplicated mutually loving relationship, Evangelion is kinda built on you wanting that - or other forms of a happy Shinji - and not giving it to you.

When I was in college, I had a phase where I would watch Eva episode 24 on a daily basis. I feel drawn to that episode, in part because I related quite strongly with Shinji. The way I see Eva, Shinji has few people in his life that truly love him. For the most part, the people he interacts with either see him as a tool to be used, remain distant, or are flat out abusive. Kaworu is perhaps the first time in the series where a character truly cares for Shinji and shows him the love he needs and deserves. It’s truly a great climax for the show. In episode 1, Shinji is fighting a big angel monster in a very typical sort of way, and if Eva was a more standard show the pilots would work themselves up some grand boss fight against some big epic creature, but physically the final angel isn’t all that hard. Actually catching Kaworu is relatively easy, but yet this is still Shinji’s toughest battle in the entire series, though it’s emotionally difficult, not physically difficult. Not to get too into the specifics of my own life, but I think I was so obsessed with episode 24 because in a lot of ways I saw myself in it. As a bi man who through unfortunate circumstances had to remain deeply closeted and disconnected from the broader LGBTQ+ community and also mostly interacted with people who didn’t properly love me, I longed for a man in my life like Kaworu. I found him to be incredibly comforting for me in my own circumstances. This was a great video, and I loved hearing about the connections to these earlier bl works because I had no idea those even existed.

Man the idea of eternally reliving my life 1:1 absolutely terrifies me

This is going to seem a bit out there, but when I think of how the original series and End of Evangelion handle Kaworu, I am reminded of Karol Szymanowski's 1924 opera King Roger, about a Christian monarch who is at once tormented and erotically fascinated by a pagan shepherd who preaches that "my god is as beautiful as I am," with a heavily symbolic ending which reveals the shepherd as Dionysus and leaves the king alone singing a paean to the rising sun. Unlike King Roger, however, Shinji doesn't really achieve transcendental catharsis, although he is transformed and left with his thoughts and a vast, empty future looming before him. The manner in which Rebuild takes this foundation and alters it seems really intriguing-I love eternal recurrence as a motif-although finding the time to sit down and watch the films when my brain is so often scattered can be difficult.

this consept of cycles is also what evas sister revolutionary girl utena is mainly about. there time is revolving in endless cycles of youth until everyone on there own is breaking there worlds shell by growing up i love ur style of narration:)

As a veteran of the weird insular Kaworu-focused branch of Eva fandom that developed on Tumblr after 3.0 dropped, it's really cool to get a deeper analysis of his role in the series and how shojo/BL history inspired it! I was particularly into the Eva spinoff Campus Apocalypse as a teen, I don't know whether it holds up in retrospect but it and 3.0 are so tied into my understanding of Eva that it's always a bit of a shock to remember that the wider fanbase wasn't viewing it through that lens.

holy shit thank u for introducing me to summer vacation 1999, I'm about to become so annoyinh

I LOVE THIS VIDEO There are very few people in the english speaking side of the Eva fandom that knows about Akio Satsukawa, Anno's interviews on June and Summer Vacation 1999, let alone people who talks about it ! Your perspective is so refreshing and well researched. Good job 🙏🏼

Idk how I got to this beautiful niche part of RU-vid, but I’m very happy to be here

The japanese interest in summer as a metaphor is super interesting. Great video.

As someone who started Eva with the rebuilds, I do appreciate you touching on who eerie and intresting the tone and look of the world of 3.0 is

One of my absolute favorite parts of this video are your views on fanfiction, and how writing it fleshes out both what viewers want to see with a character and want they want to see in those characters relationships. There is so much value in fanfic to me just because of those explored ideas and people should celebrate that fact. (As well as it being a fantastic creative building block, naturally) it's an interesting topic to think about, and one I've love to see you come back too in the future. ^^ I can see why it's easy to love Kaworu and Shinji individually and in their relationship as a whole. Especially when you throw in the time loop aspect of the rebuilds. BIG fan of Alan Moore being held by the Unit-01 as an image. Truly inspired visual that I could only dream of coming up with, I adore it~ I've watched this video so many times since you've uploaded it and can't come up with a better comment other than, this is one of my favorite videos you've made. Well done as always

I'm here... FOREVER?!?!?

I don't have much to add to the video, but I just wanted to say that I really dig your calm and very informative style of video, and a lot of your takes made me rethink a lot of concepts in fiction that I'm really glad to have been presented too. I wish you the best of luck in any video project you made and I will love to see more takes from you.

Another video of yours that im going to be thinking about forever. Chapo clip jumpscared me lmao, was not expecting that in a video about evangelion. Also, since the w in Kaworus name isnt actually pronounced in Japanese (its more like an old spelling of the name), he really just straight up does have the same name as Kaoru from Summer Vacation 1999.

this is so good so far!!!! 3.0 is so fascinating and kaworu is peak, so excited to see all your takes!

aaaah that was such a nice video ! very happy to hear you talk about kaworu, he's such a fun character.

Have you seen the Doctor Who episode Heaven Sent? It’s centered around time loops to portray the main character’s undying devotion to someone he loves and it’s a fantastic episode of television. It’s best seen after watching the episodes (and seasons) before.

Getter plays with timelines as well, with every climax implied to converge on a point where every version of the manga/show/ova fights the getter emperor.

The movie you brought up reminds me of the premise of The Summer Hikaru Died

Good video! Great use of FFX music for the end bit there. The nautical theming of a lot of X's music and the Rebuilds' usage of large bodies of water are a nice pairing. Summer Vacation 1999 has a very similar premise to Hikaru ga Shinda Natsu; Wouldn't be surprised if Mokmok was inspired by the premise of the original manga.

I normally dont watch anime but i had heard about shinji and kaworu through the internet and that drove me to watch evangelion. Even when Kaworu showed up for 1 episode the show truly surprised me with its emotionally complex story (I actually cant recall any other piece of media that successfully conveys the nasty human nature as much as eva does), and well written characters. And I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that, even when his appearance was a one episode thing, his overall presence and impact remained through following episodes and through the EoE movie. Its so frustrating and yet so beautiful how he and Shinji where so linked but doomed

I loved this video! There is never enough Kaworu character analysis in the world, at any point, ever, to be honest, so thank you for contributing to the eternal grind. Also, thank you for acknowledging and talking about the original Devilman and Devilman Lady manga, and not just Crybaby - the OGs are so underappreciated, in my opinion, and they've got a lot going for them. (I'm not going to say they're good or bad, necessarily, but they're definitely something, and deserve to be looked at as more than just "the proto-Crybaby" or, even worse, the lesser of the two.) And now I have a new manga/movie to add to my growing to-read/to-watch list... but I'm definitely going to check it out sooner rather than later because I am a huge sucker for liminal, unreal, dreamlike stories and settings. I see you, Silent Hill music in this video. I see you.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this early to a video but I’m so glad I was because this was fantastic, and I love your take on 3.0

Great vid, made me appreciate better the rebuilt version of Kaworu.

I've enjoyed every one of your videos. Looking forward to what you have for us in this year!

"to bring up Alan Moore again" please don't.

Up vote number #450! You're one of my favorite channels! Thanks for this!

your vids are so getle, i can't

Have you seen the anime adaptation for Night on the Galactic Railroad yet? The train imagery, nebulous conception of time and queer longing reminds me of how you’ve described Summer Vacation 1999 here, and drawing on these connections with Eva too. Maybe because I only just saw it recently I feel like it’s more vivid and I’m drawing parallels easier that way, but maybe it (and the original Miyazawa story) really is an ur -text you can trace a lot of other anime back to. If you haven’t seen it yet though, definitely would love to see what you think of it!

You're one of the most eloquent presenters of a YT video I have ever heard! Your choice of words is brilliant! Are you proud of your Kawoshin fanfiction to this day as an adult?

As someone who loves Kaworu as a character but never had a concrete reason as to why, other than his story is a queer doomed romance i really like (and that i felt it somehow invalidated my liking of him and eva), I really appreciate this video. It makes me feel that liking stuff for their implied queerness even if the media isn't focused on it is valid and I'm not shallow for that being my introductory reason to liking a work (without a Kawoshin edit it would take me way longer to watch eva xd)

I have got to get gayer.

God this was so good!!! The bl insight was new for me and super cool to learn and the whole thing was super validating, well done!

We're all normal for Kaworu

Where did you manage to watch Summer Vacation 1999? I can only find the film on a Dailymotion upload that's way more scuffed than the footage you used and an unavailable Amazon VHS listing.

I'm enjoying your videos! Please watch Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer, directed by Mamoru Oshii. One doesn't need to watch the rest of the franchise, as Oshii does his own thing with it. It's about the same kind of cyclical Never-Neverland as you describe. A real gem. And see also Italian eternalist philosopher Giambattista Vico, and James Joyce's circular novel Finnegans Wake, modeled after Vico's ideas.

spirk ☺️

oh no

Ever since I played lvl 11 on the n64 game I fucking hate that guy, he has grappples that are nearly impossible to beat and most of his moves force you into a grapple.

Another good example for recurring cycles in my opinion is The Future Diaries. Spoilers Ahead: In essence, The Future Diaries is a story about a handful of individuals fighting to claim the role of a god with cell phones that in their own unique ways can reveal some shred of the future. It isn’t until the end that we learn that the battle had already been one by the shows iconic yandere who claimed the role of god after killing her true love thinking that as a god she could simply bring him back. When she learns that she cannot, she travels back in time and kills her past self so as to take her place and spend as much time as she can with her love over and over again in loops. She constantly kills her love again and again to keep the title of god so as to go back over and over again until at last in the show her love ends up taking the role of god and ends the cycle, though not without the cost of some serious divine depression. (Edited cause I initially put Tsundere instead of Yandere like a dingus)

I know your trans I can hear it in your voice and that makes you more powerful than me I need to train and get stronger !