My husband and I married at 21, one of the worse advice I think people give is stuff like "it doesnt matter." My husband and I talked extensively on how we wanted to raise our kids, our values, and views on the world. We have 2 kids. I am a SAHM. Love every bit of our life together.
@@ninakoch1799 people who say it doesn't matter when you sleep with them or it doesn't matter if they want kids and other values cause they'll "change their minds."
Someone once told me "take out the sex and physical intimacy, and you'll know if this person really care about you." Be mindful and conscious about who you allow to have access to you and your body.
Which is why I tend to side with at least some period of abstinence. That includes even after consummating the relationship. There are times when sex and physical intimacy decrease or aren't even possible.
A friend of mine just learned this the hard way. She "dated" a guy for about a month, slept with him on the 1st date & every date after. About a week ago, she told him after their date that "she wasn't in the mood". Now she's freaking out because he hasn't returned her texts or calls since.
I've met guys who were "interested" and I mentioned I was abstinent and suddenly they were no longer interested. Rather be single than allow somebody to use me for their pleasure.
Never take dating or relationship advice from... 1. Divorced women, 2. Single women, 3. Single mothers, 4. Anyone on social media, 5. Anyone with money who is shielded from the consequences of their bad decisions. 6. Women with lots of sexual partners, etc. And so far... this woman has all of the above. If you have to, take advice from happily married men for what their wives did during dating to get them, or a happily married older family member.
I actually disagree. While I don’t think we should listen to this lady in particular, you could learn something about marriage from someone who has been divorced. The world isn’t that black and white
I thought it was funny as she was trying to get him to comment on the podcast and then he says he wants kids (you're not the one). It was like oh you want to play this game? Are you sure?😂😂
Kristin could not survive the trauma of being the first wife of a successful NFL Quarterback: Jay Cutler. She and Jay even did some videos about their lives together and she seemed to be doing well. Apparently it actually was just "hell' inside that marriage. Slap forehead.
@@kansashoneybadger7899I’m curious what you mean by this comment. Most NFL/professional athletes don’t hold down a single marriage because they have the highest rates of infidelity. It’s not all rainbows and butterflies to date/marry pretty much any celebrity it seems.
@@Cashhhhew Well, you could be right there, but Jay Cutler was hit with a very devastating health news (Type 1 diabetes). Don't know whether that happened before or after the break-up. They broadcast a reality show based on what they projected out to the audience was a happy marriage. Kristin had beautiful healthy kids, a husband who seemed kind and attentive, virtually all the money anyone could want. So we are talking of a situation without health or money stresses. The man is the father of her children, that warrants working very hard to keep the marriage together.
but i still absolutely positively will under no circumstance no matter what period ever marry someone I do not have sexual chemistry and feelings with, such a person is perfectly fine being a platonic friend
If I knew someone that filmed TikTok’s where they are shirtless with their boyz & lip-syncing, I’d be so embarrassed for them & would have to mock the crap out of them, immediately!🤦🏼♀️ Also - he’s only 24 & she’s 37 with 3 kids. He doesn’t want to be an overnight step-Daddy, no guy does.
Don't take dating advice on how to have stable relationships from people who arent in stable relationships 😂 even then its their own experiences so only take whats applicable/sane
@@SCrEenNaMe-i9h lmao you're a sad troll commenting the same thing in every single one of her videos. Find something better to do with your time for your own sake.
I feel so sorry for that woman's children. She's NOT being a good mom. I hope she gets it together soon, not just for her sake, but especially for her childrens sake.
When a woman gives me **unsolicited** dating advice, I automatically ask how many women she has dated. I have yet to understand why they get offended. 🤔
I give it a few months before she blast him on TikTok for cheating on her. It kinda reminds me of when Olivia Wilde started dating Harry styles, she was so happy with herself for getting a younger man, then before she knew it, they had broke up.
6:56 just because you CAN, doesn’t mean you SHOULD… it definitely doesn’t make it good for you! You will find the occasional success story of a relationship standing the test of time with very early sex, but those are few and far between. It’s rare that those pairings LAST!
Exactly. Nor does the ability to do something negate the consequences of what you're doing You are totally free to drink battery acid, but it doesn't mean you're free from the consequences of drinking battery acid.
3:32 “90% of couples who found the one slept together the first or second date” There is NO WAY. I guarantee a large percent of successful marriages are made up of couples who waited for marriage.
Her stat is wrong but yours is too. Generally couples that move in together at least a year prior to marriage have seen the best outcomes. There is nuance and balance. But no, waiting until marriage also doesn’t fair well statistically.
@@Cashhhhewnope. Couples who move in together prior to marriage actually break up more. Couples who waited till marriage have more satisfying marriages. Look it up on google.
@@Cashhhhew there was a study by Rosenfield & Roseler in 2028 that says that cohabitation does reduce the risk of divorce in 1st year but actually increases the risk after one year
3:34 -- "Feelings and chemistry only gets you so far. Shared values and respect, that is how you build the long haul." That's the real truth!! Straight out of HS I started dating this boy who I had been OBSESSED with since MS. I had all the feelings for him and so desperately wanted it to work out. We did not have many shared values, especially where God was concerned. That hurt, but I'm so glad things worked out the way they did. Looking back it was only a 4 month relationship, but that's long time at 18 yrs old!! Anyway, I am now engaged to someone who is infinitely better for me in absolutely EVERY way! Someone who shares values with me, who I am incredibly attracted to, have chemistry with and feelings for, etc. I am beyond glad that I didn't do these serious things with that bf from 5 years ago. Don't fall for the lies of Kristin, she's going to wake up and feel so awful for the choices she is making and is so publicly supporting.
I remembered having the conversation with my husband about how damaging the sleeping around & hook up culture for the soul. The brain would tell you to get the instant body pleasure, but in the long run it made you feel more miserable & lonely as a person.
I counter that by saying look at all of the miserable relationships and so-called marriages. Life is short, live it up. I have been sleeping around for 11 years. I've had countless women. It's quite hilarious hearing both men and women complain about the lack of sex in their relationships. I'll keep doing my thing. 🤷♂️🤷♂️
Hold on this so called woman is 30 something, has 3 kids and divorced. Now dating a 24 yr old dude????? I'm not surprised she's talking the way she is. I feel bad for the kids. Can only imagine what their names are.
Closer to 40 than 30, it’s creepy, but considering who she is I’m not surprised. She peaked in high school and will never mentally develop past that. Her kids are probably being raised by other people because she can’t be bothered to make the necessary sacrifices.
This is horrible advice why buy the cow if you could have the milk for free. Always better to wait. What matters is how someone treats you and shows up for you at the end of the day. “Chemistry” fades in and out throughout time and the course of the relationship/marriage. Some dudes like em older is he attracted to her probably but will he marry her probably not.
When I was younger I thought I understood the mentality of not wanting to be "tied down" it made sense. Which I guess kind of does if you're in college want to move to a certain location afterward. After your college years that mentality doesn't make sense anymore. You should have marketability at that point and be able to go wherever you want for the most part. Being in a relationship shouldn't hinder anything. If you're in your mid 20s or older and someone says they don't want to be "tied down" that just means they either want to go sleep around or they don't see you as spouse material. Move on. This just another pro of having one person be the bread winner in the relationship. only 1 person has to worry about finding a job. Your careers won't cause your relationship to end
Brett, please be my friend. You don't know how relieved I am to know that there is someone who is my age (05' baby) and has their head screwed on right!
I used to watch laguna beach back in the day. Kristin had a big ego back then and her costars fed her ego too. I guess she still craves attention. As a 39 year old mother, if i was to divorce tomorrow, my priority would not be to run and find a boy toy. My priority would be my children.
It's really getting topless for TikTok. The lip synching is just a lazy copy of the female TikTokkers, they literally could be doing anything . . . . as long as they are topless.
@EndertheWeek it was moreso a general statement regarding most "TikTokers"... but you're correct! 😂 The "Boyz" could probably make a video of them opening pickle jars, shirtless, with no audio, and their audience of 12 year girls would watch it!
@@jasono2139 Did you not see Brett's face change when the first topless man appeared? Human beings are not complicated - show them flesh and they start paying attention 😍
So sweet hearing you say “husband”. Congratulations and welcome to the club!! My husband and I just celebrated our 31st year and I hope you and your man are blessed with just as many if not more!!!
My husband got married to me at 19 and now can focus more on his career because he doesn’t have to save energy at work to come home at do his own laundry and figure out what to eat for dinner. He has a stay at home wife who manages finances and makes sure he gets healthy meals everyday and keeps his home taken care of. So he can use all that energy on his goals at work. He also has a companion to bounce ideas off of and relationship security he doesn’t need to stress about finding or keeping a girlfriend. We aren’t “locked down” we are freed to grow and find ourselves with out all the extra stresses of single life. Some people think I’m crazy for getting married at 18 but now that I’m in my early twenties I feel like we caught the last chopper out of the nightmare dating scene.
All you have to do to know you shouldn't listen to her is watch her face and how exaggerated her face is when she says stuff. Lol Every time someone talks about sparks and chemistry and all is just someone I avoid. That is the type of person chasing dopamine highs or stuff like that.
The age difference does not bother me. I met my husband who was 16 years older than me when I was younger than him. We’ve been married over a decade. Since being married to him I always notice other couples with age gaps and yes, there are lots of older women married to younger men and they’ve been married for decades. In the grand scheme of things 13 years is nothing.
The thing that throws me off is she is 37 dating a guy who is 24 and she has a 12 year old son. Her age to him is nearly the same as his is to her kids.
My mom married a man 15 years younger than he at 54. Yes, it lasted. However, now that she's 80, it's way too much of an age gap. He has no life and cares for an elderly woman. He is closer in age to me than her and people always assume he's my husband not hers. Annnnnd, he regrets not having his own kids now. Believe me, it's not optimum. It's a daydream.
@@karenf5240 Re-listening to it again, it’s just even weirder to me. Like, are women supposed to just apologize for existing at this point? Good grief 😫
"I used to think you should make him wait ... and then I found lust!" The whole "it doesn't matter if the chemistry is there" is how girls end up with a string of short-term "situationships" and wondering "where have all the good men gone!?" or "why are guys so afraid to commit!?" later on. In my weekend gig, I see this situation quite often: a recently divorced woman in her mid- to late-30s has been frustrated and lonely for the last couple years as the divorce proceeded, goes out and wants to see she still "has it". She finds a hot (usually much younger) guy that is willing to help her with her frustration for a time. The butterflies fly, she feels like a teenager again, but then one of 2 realities hits: 1) He dips immmediately afterwards and never talks to her again (one night thing), or 2) After a period of time, one of them (usually the woman) realizes they are in 2 completely different places in their lives and things end poorly. If it was a 1-night thing, that same woman will be back the next weekend to do it all over again with a new guy. This appears to be the situation here. It is sad and unfortunate.
Yes, Brett you are right. Foundational values are the base upon which a successful marriage should be built. Don't sleep together until after you are married.
Dudes in his 20's, Why in the hell would you want to play another Man's 'Saved Game' (Single Mom of 3)??? She already has a track record of LEAVING a Man who has given her more than she Deserves (1/2 of EVERYTHING he has worked his entire life for in the Divorce), that she will do the same thing to this Young Guy if he doesn't RUN NOW!!!
Im so sick and tired of hearing about this woman all because shes dating a hot young guy🙄they're acting like its never been done before, Its not revolutionary its annoying AF
The way people talk about not having any boundaries for themselves is crazy. The way society has allowed not holding any self values or morals in hookup culture and why there are so many stds and unwanted pregnancies,that leads to abortions. It’s just unreal how many people are out here giving this bad advice or just don’t care about themselves or the ones they are sleeping around with.
As a woman in my 30's, I really recommend that people DO settle down in their 20's. Everyone I know that didn't find their partner in their 20's is now single and horribly lonely and can't find a partner. All the best people are taken already. I met my partner right after high school, and my married friends met theirs in college. I also can't imagine sleeping with a man I just met. That's such a vulnerable, intimate thing and to just do that with a stranger sounds so scary.
Even if one is not religious, sleeping with someone on the first date is absolutely nuts. You [not you personally] wouldn't give someone your bank details or the keys to your house on a first date, so why the hell would you give them your body, no questions asked? P.S. I am also against the three dates bullshit "rule" as well! I know I'm too old-fashioned, but at least abstain until you are sure the relationship is serious!
@@Musicienne-DAB1995too much dignity. Women that already have given it up on the first date, or the first time meeting without going out on a date don’t get to reserve 3 dates bs or longer. Give it up. Let us all get our turn.
That’s just absurd. The majority of woman are waiting til their 30’s to settle down these days which is why economists are so concerned about population right now. To say “all the best people are taken” by then is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. A lot of women, like myself, waited well into their thirties so they can work on their career. And there were plenty of “options.” If I would have gotten married to my highscool boyfriend or even any of my boyfriends in my twenties I would be 100% divorced by now. I barely recognize who I was in my twenties, I had very different values then and didn’t even know who I was myself. That’s why the divorce rate is so high statistically for the twenties folks. I highly recommend anyone waiting til at least their thirties. Get to know yourself, explore the world a little solo. Most people that get married in their twenties are the ones who feel horribly lonely ten years down the road. I’m solid as F**K and got the partner of my dreams in mid thirties, after having built an incredible business. I also traveled the world and discovered sides of myself I didn’t know existed. I hate ignorant comments like this, just stupidity at its finest.
3:08 Make him wait 3 or 4 dates? Even that is way too soon! What is the rush? You don't even know the person at that point. It's sad that society has gotten to this point.
The wife and I are definitely outliers. We were 18 and got intimate quite quickly. Got engaged after 3 months. And are now still together 14 years later. We are a rare exception
I will never understand why people take advice from someone who doesn't have what they want. If you want to have a healthy marriage or relationship, get advice from those who have the type of relationship you desire 💞
So she went from married to a starting QB in the NFL to dating a TikToker, and people listen to her? TBH, rather than question Kristin's moral fiber, I question young Jay Cutler's discernment in selecting a wife. Methinks he decided to marry the hot cheerleader right out of college, before his brain started thinking about things other than how to get laid. We all go through that, it's a shame the mistake cost Jay as much as it did. Lastly, I feel for her kids. How much less cringe than an Only Fans mom would Kristen be? She's 37 and acting like she's 22? Her kids are 12, 10 and 9; old enough to start seeing this crap themselves. What a fantastic role-model she's going to be for her daughter
I had a guy tell me to my face (back in my early 20’s) that I wasn’t “quality material” because I slept with him on the first date. I was hurt and confused but totally got it. I WASNT A QUALITY GIRL!!! I was sooooo screwed up back then hahah people need to start being HONEST with themselves and realize that sometimes the truth hurts
Well he was wrong and you dodged a bullet. You deserve a non judgmental man who appreciates your reciprocity to his actions instead of admonishing you for it
@@harsh3948 thanks :) I def let him have it because he was being a total hypocrite. (What made him a quality guy when it takes two to tango ya know?) but you’re right he was super immature and wrong to say that absolutely
It is sadly the way our minds work as a man! If a woman sleep with us on the first date, our brain will process it like you are sleeping with other men as well and thus filter you out as an option for marriage :/ It's the same way your brain filters out men who cry in front of you for example!
We have literal pandemic of STI/STD and millions of misinformation on “safe sex” practice. I’m sure that first date was like this. “I want you so bad”, “me too”. Cool we established lust. So…. 1. When was your last sexual encounter to include oral and was this a stranger or someone you know well. How many people since your last test. Do you know many STI can be transmitted just by touch? Oral? Hands? 2. Show me your last FULL PANEL STI/STD TEST 3. Have you EVER had an STI/STD to include hpv hsv. 4. Ask about birth control methods being used (condom, pill, implant, none) Bet that sets the mood off great 😂
Dude, I seriously believe those questions should be asked. I'm seeing HIV adverts asking people to get tested! I'm seeing statistics in my area saying that a disturbingly high number of people have chylamidia. It freaks me out. I am all for asking STD/STI questions on a first date. And financial information, too. Spendthrifts kill romance too.
I fear the majority of the females in this new generation are going to be extremely unhappy as they age. I can’t put all the blame on them as there is clearly psychological operations at work here, but the amount of selfishness and short sightedness is alarming. I pray for humanity and what it might look like in the next 50+ years. On a lighter note there are some truly incredible people like Brett shining light on all this darkness. This girl makes me proud and I hope she finds infinite happiness, satisfaction, and peace with her partner 👍
This is the party girl that couldn’t keep a man in high school n ran through the whole school she got with a ten year old younger guy that’s way more relevant to her to chase clout
The big reason for why she rushed into sleeping with him is probably the same reason why she's pressuring him on that podcast. She's scared that if she doesn't lock someone down right now, at her age, that she never will. This is why men avoid older women, they're balls of stress and preconceptions who don't want to get to know you, they want to lock you down and extract children from you because the clock is ticking. It's gross and feels manipulative.
K but keep in mind the vast majority of women don’t have podcasts. There are also 3 BILLION people in the u.s and only 140 million have social media. And that includes men too.
@@miltain maybe you need to reconsider who you spend your time around or where you live. I’ve lived in Illinois, Arizona, and Nevada and have traveled across the country camping in almost every state more than once. I’ve literally never met any woman who acts or thinks like this in real life. I did SEE a lot of women who dressed like prostitutes around the ASU campus in Arizona, but because of the way I move and the type of lifestyle I lead, I’d never actually encounter them or have a conversation. I’ve only met awesome men and women.
@@Moonlightmatchmaking that's a nice little novel you wrote, but in the end of the day you definition of 'awesome' can mean anything, people like you tend to be pretty dishonest
My husband said that if I didn’t make him wait the amount I did and slept with him the first or even second or third date he wouldn’t have married me and I get it!
I respect you Brett, you have good values. However, most people didn’t save themselves for marriage and get married at 21 (congrats btw) that being said you hardly have any experience with dating as well. It’s a different journey for everyone. I’m not a fan of hookup culture but I’m also not a nun joining the convent either. I found my husband at the age of 30 he was 40 at a bar, a week later went on a date and we slept together afterwards. Been married 5 years now. Kristin is right it’s about connection. Granted she is divorce, so I want to hear what NOT to do. But again we all want a cookie cutter romance, reality bites and dating, sex, and marriage is another ball game nowadays. But yes, Kristin is 37 and needs to settle down with a normal guy who’s not internet hungry.
I've been married for 5 years and we dated for almost 3 before that and we didnt sleep together until my wife essentially strong armed me into it. I was a very timid person when it came to the ladies. Just saying it wasn't the 2nd date. it was probably like the 7th one.
Ugh. Always the paid promotion in mysterious gards to the actual video and topic! SMH. Can't we all just be fucki* genuine about our so called passions, that we actually make videos on our interest and beliefs instead of subjects that make such profit!! Sigh! Disheartening!
90%? Lol where did she get this percentage. In my bubble of the world and the people I know I’d say it’s flipped. Maybe 10% lol and that’s not the case for each guy that comes through… that advice is sooooo bad!!! She telling her kids that?
Why can't she "be hanging out with a guy"? She's a single Woman looking for companionship and you are begrudging her for getting to know men she finds attractive? Did you hang out with your now husband before marrying him or did you meet him at the alter? That was one of your worst takes I've ever heard you say.
Why is the woman who divorced her husband giving relationship advice? Unless you’re here to tell us,”Don’t break up your family like I did.” Nobody cares.
Kristen is just trying to justify her own immorality. There is a reason that the Lord, through his Word, informs us that sex is meant to be between a married man and woman: it's because He loves us and wants to protect us from all the problems that come from extramarital sex. Waiting to have sex until after marriage is about love and protection.❤
It’s amazing how obvious it is that she’s desperate and drooling over this guy who’s like a kid compared to what stage of life she’s in. She’s trying so hard to act like she’s the cool girl when she’s actually an aging grown woman who’s terrified of being used and cast aside yet again.
Who cares, she has her children, she doesn't want more, she found a guy who is fine with her age and not wanting more children. Why does it matter? He is a 24 year old MAN. 24 years olds are not children.
