Sometimes some people are ok with being quiet, communicate only the necessary to do the job, and are very friendly at off the office. In the same way, some awkward people are full of energy and try to make everyone talk and stop what they are doing to share and think about what they want to do. The importance in every team is to know each other, accept the reality, accept not everyone needs to be your friend, and work with that base to build something nice. nice video
Something I've noticed during my career at two FAANG companies is that it's not the actual work that is hard, getting things accomplished through code is quite rewarding. What's hard is dealing with manipulation from management. There are a lot of mind games, "fearmongering" tactics, and arbitrary deadlines that can totally drain you, leaving you with little energy left to actually get the work done. Sometimes it's done on purpose because the manager needs a punching bag or someone to blame. It's a tough world out there.
I 100000% feel you. Those times, I remember that I can lean on others for help, and I should speak up to advocate for my own energy, growth, and time. I usually talk to my manager (and sometimes cry about it tbh) because I think of my manager as like, my coach through the tough challenges. It's likely they've been in my shoes before, and have found a way to navigate it on their own. And if not, we just rant together and let it all out. Either way, there are _always_ going to be people at work who are not great to work with. But how we decide to work through the situation is entirely up to us.
@@hellomayuko I love that!! Sounds like you had/have a fantastic manager that helps you through the difficult moments. And thanks for being vulnerable. It helps others like myself to express their hardships. I enjoy the part in your video where you talk about where to focus your energy. I, too, have spent unnecessary energy and effort on others. But, as you said, we have a job to accomplish at the end of the day. This can be challenging for engineers like myself, who are slightly more extroverted because it's tempting to dive into complex relationships at work. But, I'm learning to discern and recognize which conversations and efforts are meaningful and which are unnecessary noise. It's also been helpful to take myself less seriously and show the haters that I can laugh things off and make fun of myself while accomplishing great work :)
Wow, your comments on fearmongering and arbitrary deadlines hit me hard. I also find it so stressful when the company I work at they commit to deadlines without a clue on what it will take to complete them. Once they force you to guess for a date to complete it, they press you to it so they can deliver and make profit, so I end up going days without sleeping well trying to complete it on time and also because of stress. It's my first job, so it's hard to discern if these situations are normal or not. The more it goes on, it feels toxic. What are you guys thoughts on that?
Oftentimes, my stress comes from overemphasizing things that are outside my control. I learned over time to not worry so much about things that just happen and instead focus on the things that I can do. As you said, people come to work for different reasons, and the way they act can be out of your control if their own stresses come from their home situation, health, etc. This doesn't mean that we should ignore people. On the contrary, focusing on our own emotions teaches us to understand better what others might be feeling that would affect their behavior. It allows us to be more empathetic in our relationships.
I just heard your intro song playing on a random work playlist and instant thought “this is mayuko’s theme!!” Such an influential content creator I love your vids
"It can be really hard to see where they shine, if all you see is where they don't" This is gotta be a pre-installed, built-in feature in all Asian parents LMAO. It hit me so hard that I can feel it in my bones.
A valuable lesson that I learned at work was that I don't have to change who I am to fit the environment. The beauty of work is that everyone collectively creates a melting pot of a lot of different perspectives and motivations. I started learning to embrace who I am, I get a lot of joy out of getting a job done so I don't really slack too much while at work and sometimes I can come off as a "try hard" to some coworkers who only go to work because they have to and need the money so they can go out on the weekends. It's okay that others may perceive me that way but as long as I stick to who I am I find myself being the most happy while working!
Main lesson I've learned from work (been working 20 years): don't take anything personally. It's so RARE that something is personal (unless it's a pattern of behavior and then you may need outside assistance) that taking stuff personally is a waste of energy. Do not let people live in your head rent free~
One thing to add: no matter how frustrated you are right now - remember that its gonna end at some point. You wont care that much bout it after a week/month. Let it go and remember to take breaks, at least on weekends. For real-real breaks, dont crunch on weekends, its bad for you :D
Sharing these deep and personal thoughts of yours as well as your emotions are affecting us positively. We always know that we are not alone but not many people are comfortable being vulnerable in public so it's really comforting. Thanks!
So I am junior in college right now, and I am just starting my search for internships. I've come across loads of information online, but it is all competitive, with what feels like little regard for cooperation or having fun in a field you like. How does my previous statement relate to this video? I think this channel has garnerned my appreciation for doing what I love even under the pressures of uncooperative colleagues or team members (in my case school peers). Whenever I am stressed about my courses or future career I come here. Thanks for all the time you put in to making great content!
You hit the nail on the head there. Great video. I've been working for 15 years and have been changing industries to what I really wanted to do. What I found out was that the grass isn't very greener on the other side of the fence, but it has a different tint. Different set of challenges. Still happy I made the change, because growing and learning is important to me and the shitty days are a part of it.
5:48 damn, so me.. and im so tired sometimes. always.. always trying my best to understand people in order to work better and get the job done. and yea, i also learnt when to stop. trying to balance it out.
Big transitions at work are always so tumultuous! Especially during things like reorgs, I always try to remember that everyone is trying their best, and the dust will always settle. Smooth sailing, my friend!
What i learnt as an indian guy who has worked around the world for more than 10 years: try to not work in an office forever. The bullying and toxicity rises in proportion to the levels that you climb up the ladder. I didn't notice it as a junior engineer much. My literal goal in life is never set foot in an office again. It's either remote or my own freelancing and other businesses from now on. My soul and heart are way more important to me than money and status.
I'm not the one who is quiet but things have been so hard, I don't feel safe expressing my opinions at work and right now my only motivation is that I won't be here forever.
The coworker who always finds the most difficult way to complete a simple task, so you spend your days in these endless meetings, wasting your time on really specific things
That's true! You can't control people hence only the best thing to do while getting frustrated at the job is to just put ur thought and let others do the same in their way. Just accept it and move forward. Respect needs to given at workplace else things become frustrating. If someone argues with you about the work, just tell them u r the best and ignore what he/she says 🤪
Truth! Yea I've had to learn a lot about different people's motivations. It seems people skip the forming/storming/norming phases and expect they can just jump to performing. I found some interesting books that helped me are "Surrounded by Idiots" and "The 4 tendencies"
Mayuko! I am really glad to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you for those guiding lessons! For someone who just got started with a new job in the pandemic, this is like a peek into what goes on behind the minds of people who you virtually work with 😄 Love your content and the uniqueness you bring to it, with your relaxed and relatable vibe.! I always look forward to sink into these talks of yours :)
Needed to hear this. Thanks. There are some really shitty people in my new team and I have to take their approvals for everything. I hope I will sail through.
Motivators are generally dynamic. I used to care loads, work well over my allocated hours, but when I hit serious health issues I came back to work valuing logging off on time and not going the extra mile in order to relax more and enjoy my life. This could change in the future. Personally the longer I've been in work the harder it is to stay super dedicated and caring.
Thank you for this video! I’ve been trying to set healthy boundaries with my manager but unfortunately, she doesn’t like that. So I’m little lost on what to do right now.
Mayuko just want to start this by saying your videos are amazing and have really helped inspire me. Your skin looks incredible would love to know your skin care routine or seeing a video on it. I'm a guy but id wish to have as clean skin as yours lol
my problem is that i tried to climb the mountain without climbing gears. Takes me days/weeks to move forward one step 😵💫and when i have to restart the project 😈😵
Wonderful truthfully told video Mayuko! How often do you allow yourself to breathe? Great way to settle the busy mind, move away from all those many many minds while moving to a still Mind. Writing this response from here is a very simple check in with the Mind. How does reading this response find your Mind? Stay Healthy! -Bob...
just don't care (its mark manson's best advice), who cares about work tho? honestly? at the end of the day do u really care that much? (most tech work is unfulfilling esp when ur just making some company more money than they already have and its not making a fundamental impact) just do ur job, get paid and go home if you really hate it (the fact that u have to escape from it means u prob do) whats better is start a business fail start again fail and succeed and don't deal with all that stress u mentioned. its a real blessing and achievement to do what u actually want in life, not just be a job title keep it simple, speak less than necessary/be concise, be productive outside of work, engage your personal interests
"People come to work for different reasons" No way man, it's money. It's always money. None of your coworkers would be there if it weren't for the paycheck.
When work gets stressful I grab a book and read while going up and down many flights of emergency escape stairs. No looking. When people vex me I walk away and completely disengage. Total ignore.
You can still breathe, have a house to live inside, eat some favorite food, talk nonsense in front of an expensive camera. This video comes from a child who suffered a bit and thought it was a world disaster. Goodbye Mayuko.
I've also been working for almost 10 years, and I've been better at growing a thicker skin at work. But one of the things that is still hard is, not to feel bad when you have 5 things to do that are all urgent, and you can't complete them by the end of the work day. I'm going through this right now actually and I paused to make this comment. There are strategies though, once I calm down. Being organized helps, having a "template" for tasks to follow when you're stressed and blank out helps a ton, and communicating with your managers is crucial.
What do you mean by blank out? I’d like to try this, cause I’m having the problem you’re describing. I have lots of urgent tasks that require deep thought and analysis but I don’t have the time for them. And people keep (politely) pinging me about them.
Work can be extremely stressful when you put so much of your identity into it - for the longest time I saw my value only through the work I was doing... Somehow I thought that this is the only good thing about me. I love creating software and I loved it since I was a kid, but the problem with being so attached to your job performance is that as an employee you're not always going to work on what you want, be appreciated for your work if you don't promote yourself enough or work with people that share the same values and work style. And if you don't want to be completely miserable you have to find ways to deal with this on a daily basis - your tips for this are great Mayuko! ❤️ I'm still learning 🙈
And also, thank you. I needed this. You posted this on my birthday and I am going through some challenging times at work right now. Great unexpected gift! haha
If you have a lot of insecurities in general, like I do => How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie might help. Not gonna solve all the problems but some will
Thanks! Needed this video. I'm interning remotely at a Japanese company. Communicating with people, reading and writing documentation and slack messages in a second language has been an amazing (stressful) challenge. Somehow without them even saying anything I know that they just want me to work faster lol. Japanese telepathy is real lol. It's been an experience for sure.
This is sooo relatable! I work at a startup and some days I feel like I’m going to have a melt down working on projects that have never been done before, because I love structure and processes. And so much of what we do hasn’t been done before. Lesson #4 is so important to remember.
this WHOLE thing is the perfect answer to the basic interview question of "How do you deal with difficult co-workers" and "how do you measure growth / self0improvment" I'm putting this away to study later!
This is an awesome video. Very insightful. The learning opportunity idea is very hard to implement, but it is worth to invest the time on that than just feeling frustrated for no reason.
Nice video! it is clear that you have mature in work!. In our area software, we are so proud (sometimes not) for the work we deliver, and we get so passionate that sometimes our temper gets in the way. What I found out for me that works is to do exercise after work, and to think on the long-term that relationships are the ones that stay in your memory, not the code you wrote in that X project. (more than 10 years too, and still fun to see this video)
I was burnt out in my first year as a full-stack web developer and had 2 years of a gap year. it was an awful experience and still think I should've quit earlier from the company
