Let's Talk About Mrs Bennet 

The continuity you point out between Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice is so accurate. In Mrs Dashwood we had a mother who wanted her daughters to marry, but was happy for it to take its own course and not to pry, which for Marianne was almost disastrous. Mrs Bennet is almost a response to that, she's so over-involved that she causes her own problems. After these two books, Austen gives up on her heroines having mothers around!

The problem with Mrs. Bennet isn't that she wants to get her children married off and secure a future for her and them but the problem is her foolishness consistently has her working against her own goal. She brazenly admits to pushing Jane toward Mr. Bingley not only jeopardizing their relationship but possibly chasing away other suitors. She goes behind both her daughter and her husband's back to scheme for Lizzy to marry Mr. Collins. Understand she has no power to push a marriage forward and it would do well to at least get some idea of how both feel about a potential marriage between the two. Thus it ends in disaster. She would have been far wiser to push somebody like Mary forward as a potential wife of Mr. Collins. She encourages her youngest two daughters to constantly flirt with officers and encourages her youngest who is clearly not ready for society to go to Brighton with what could barely be called a chaperone. Of course this almost ruins the family. The fact that everything ends well for her is more based on luck and the fact that the daughter she disdains the most and overlooks aids considerably in their future. It is certainly not based on anything she does. I would also like to point out that what a very shallow creature she truly is. If the security of her daughters was her main concern then why does she remark when Jane and Bingley get engaged that she knew her beauty was not for nothing. Also, when finding out that Lizzy and Darcy are engaged she doesn't remark how Lizzy will never have to worry about her future but instead remarks about how much pin money and jewels she will have? She truly doesn't see the true worth in anything.

Thank you so much for this video (and all your "Let's talk about..." videos and all your videos in general, really)! I read S&S before reading P&P, so I never thought Mrs. Bennet was silly or ridiculous for being worried about what will happened to the women of the family after Mr. Bennet's dead. She shows a lot more sense than Mr. Bennet, actually, on that point. Also, I prefer the representation of her in the 2005 movie adaptation as well. I feel that in the 1995 mini series they felt in the usual (at that time) trend of showing the "support characters" in a caricaturesque way, perhaps to add a comedy touch to the movie/series but also to enphasize the "good qualities" of the main characters. They did the same with Caroline Bingley and with Mr. Collins in that mini series and the same trend can be seen with Lady Dalrymple and her daughter and Sir Elliot and Elizabeth in Persuasion from 1995. Anyways, I'm rambling now. Thank you again! I'd love to see a video like this one on Willoughby next year, as you mentioned on your previous video 🙂. Have a great weekend!

I always laugh alone by myself when I remember Mrs Bennett talking about her "poor nerves" 😹😹 I don't know why that is so bloody funny to me

Another great video. Thanks Katie. I think Mrs. Bennet is practical in that she knows it’s essential for her daughters to marry well, but she goes about it in almost a desperate manner. I also think she is very jealous of the favoritism toward Elizabeth by Mr. Bennet. I almost think Elizabeth became the companion to her husband that Mrs. Bennet was not. Thanks for another great Jane Austen July. 💕

I wish Mary had married Mr. Collins. It makes sense. I would love to discuss that with Jane if I could.

I loved this! What you had to say about Mrs Bennet being the sensible one and Mr Bennet the silly one when it came to Mr Collins was so good! Also, I love how you always take your ideas directly from the text, and explore the meaning of Austen's words 😊

I love Dr. Cox. I've been following her channel for over a year. Your analysis of Mrs. Bennet's character was enlightening and I thoroughly enjoyed your efforts. 👏🏼👏🏼

when I saw the title of this video, this line When Mrs. Bennett says : “”Well,” cried her mother, “it is all very right; who should do it but her own uncle? If he had not had a family of his own, I and my children must have had all his money, you know; and it is the first time we have ever had anything from him, except a few presents…” immediately came to mind. When I first read this I remember being embarrassed as someone could hear her (as I’m reading In my head 😅) . I find her to be very interesting and when I think of Pride and Prejudice she’s pops into my head before the other characters.

This discussion is so interesting. I have a couple of new thoughts about Mrs. B. I never thought about her age. If she had no more pregnancies after Lydia and she is in her early 40s that means she either stopped getting pregnant in her mid 20s (unlikely) or she had several still births (more likely considering the era) and they were advised she should not try for more children. A woman in that day who could not bear a son was considered a failure as a wife. Think of the pressure she must have felt at 25 years old! I feel very compassionate towards her, myself. If they have not shared a bed for 15 years that would certainly explain Mr. B's frustration with his wife and the failed relationship, but it could also explain her becoming a hypochondriac. It was very unusual in that day for all of a couple's children to survive beyond age 5. There is certainly no evidence for this in the book, it's just an idea I had to explain why a healthy married woman would stop becoming pregnant at age 25 or 26. I always assumed she was ten years older and naturally became unable to become pregnant in her late 30s.

I've found with learning more about the time period and rereading Pride and Prejudice several times I came to understand Mrs. Bennet a lot more and the sympathize with her situation.

I believe that it's a perspective imposed to us by both mr and mrs Bennett in the time of their biggest disagreements that they have a bad marriage but in reality they are not really harmful or bad to one another just act both as annoyed children with each other, I believe deep down this was the thing other novels call as true spark and love flame cause in the end their relationship is always interesting and comical and never boring neither really strained seriously damaged. They will never get bored with each other and well 5 kids don't come from a vacuum many couples of their class (upper class) in the regency times were having 2 or 3 kids and then husband and wife didn't have relations of this kind. Well yes they wanted a heir but I can see a spark there too which even Jane Austen was too prudish to describe.

An important factor that can be overlooked in our time is the pressures Mrs Bennett had to produce an heir. When that didn't happen, she had "failed " in her duty. Thus, her next duty was to ensure each of her daughters married well. If this did not happen, she would have "failed " again. Another factor was that they did not hire a governess. This would have given both her daughters and herself a better education than she received. This could have helped her marriage and her relationship with the girls

Oooooooh, LET'S!!! I always appreciate your insights.

I love long videos like this. When the subject is this rich and entertaining, the longer the better 😍😊 it's a treat!!

Brilliant dissection of the character as usual

I loved this so much!!

I know they take a while but I like these deeper character analysis videos

Great video for a first time reader of P&P like me. Your hard work is very appreciated!

I'm not sure Mr. Bennet isn't being sensible about Mr. Collins really, at least on some level. An unhappy marriage, when Elizabeth openly disrespects him even in the supposed honeymoon period, is just a recipe for a miserably short life anyway. Mrs. Bennet does have nervous problems, and partly it is bc of her unhappy marriage setup, where Mr. Bennet hasn't bothered to save for his daughters and gives her much of the emotional labor of arranging marriages on the cheap. She had an ok dowry and marriage settlement herself, Mr. Bennet was on paper a good catch, but she wasn't really brought up to make those kind of negotiations re the Bingleys, that is supposed to be Mr. Bennet's job really, whereas she is the one who is supposed to be asking the 'but do you really love him?' questions. I think we today read this as rounding the characters in a believable way, and we respond emotionally to the way the parents have kind of swapped roles, so the Mr. Bennet is more emotionally literate and Mrs. Bennet is the financial boss, but maybe the 19th century reader would have read this as more obviously chaos? Divorce and separation did actually happen during this time period, but it was much more traumatic; Mr. Bennet is right to suggest an ominous warning about this, as Mr. Collins turns out to be pretty heavy handed with his remarks about Lydia etc. Jane assumes he isn't vicious, but we actually don't know that. Even in SS, when Dashwood girls' lives are obviously made much more difficult by terrible inheritance laws, they are not entirely forgotten about or friendless. Life would be still be bad for Miss Bates if she had a husband who actively abused her, or like Mr. Bennet bullied her; the one time Emma tries it on, she is stamped down by Miss Bates's friends. Mr. Bennet, as a man, who has always had inherited wealth, may be overconfident about the financial side of things, but he is being sensible about the emotional toll unhappy marriages have, they cannot be denied away either just for financial reasons.

Love you “let’s talk about” specially pride and prejudice

If Mrs Bennett had been cleverer, she would have steered Mr Collins to Mary. But that's the premise of the book: she's not that clever.

Thank you for your videos which I have watched for a number of years. I appreciate your insights although I do not always agree 100 %. I too am very fond of Austen and Trollope but less so of Dickens. I have just rewatched your ‘Framley Parsonage’ and watched ‘Mrs Bennet’ and appreciate your points of view without being bothered as to the length of it. One of the benefits of RU-vid is that I can slow down your delivery to 75 % for easier listening which I sometimes do.

Brilliant, as always & enjoyed every minute of it. You've made me slightly more sympathetic towards Mrs B. Fantastic comparison between Mrs B and Lady Catherine, AND I would point out that Mrs B succeeds in getting 3 of her daughters married and Lady Catherine's design to marry her own daughter fails miserably. When you have a chance you should watch the 1979/80 mini-series--that Mrs B is not quite so over the top (and has a very good screenplay written by Fay Weldon.)

It’s not either/or: Mrs. Bennet is, as others have pointed out, one on Austen’s “monsters”, but she is responding to very real exigencies.

I don't think Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney would wind up like the Bennetts, if only because Henry enjoys enlightening her. And Henry's understanding of muslin/closeness to his sister suggests that he's more sympathetic to the female perspective than your average Regency fellow.

I've always felt sorry for Mrs Bennet, honestly. Maybe I'm biased because my father was constantly belittling my mother and his children, but I've always winced at the idea that Mr Bennet's reaction to realizing that Mrs Bennet was pretty and nothing else was to constantly insult and bait her (when, legally, she was TRAPPED in that marriage). She's had to put up with that for 20+ years, and also has to deal with the fact that, because her husband never bothered to provide for their children, they are almost certainly doomed to a future of abject poverty (poverty then was LOT worse than poverty now, too, and carried a huge social stigma as well as being miserable and often fatal). At that point, I think I'd be prone to anxiety, histrionics, and relentlessly shameless attempts to get my daughters well-married, too. She was probably perfectly charming, if a little simple-minded, as a young woman. 20+ years being trapped in a marriage with a man who dislikes her and loves putting her down and riling her up must have taken their toll. I've been called "dishonest" in the past for calling it verbal abuse, but that's exactly what it is, and she has absolutely zero recourse. She is completely in his power and has no escape. Sadly, she probably considers herself lucky that he's not physically abusive (which would have been perfectly legal at the time, let's not forget), and so does her best to put up with his emotional mistreatment because she knows it could be so much worse. So for 20+ years, she's put up with being called stupid and silly and who knows what else, doesn't talk back, is implied to be useless, and probably has an inferiority complex for the lack of a son. How can anyone NOT pity the poor woman, even if she is loud and unsophisticated?

Fortunately attitudes to mental health have improved.

Mrs. Bennet does have a line in the 2005 film where she tells Lizzy just you wait until you have 5 daughters to marry off. She is not crazy for being concerned. Mr. Bennet was pretty negligent as a financial planner and parent.

I have mixed feelings about Mrs.Bennet. On the one hand her poor manners (talking loudly about others when they are within earshot haha) causes me to feel frustrated on behalf of her family. Yet, she speaks her mind because she felt her daughter had been slighted and no doubt the pressure of feeling she has to get her daughters married in order to avoid a life of poverty certainly does weigh upon her poor nerves. In some ways we're led to believe her a "weak" person in that she takes to her bed with nerves and such, and I do feel a bit annoyed at her, but on the other hand I might take to my bed also if I was dealing with everything she was lol.

Thank you for this. I love this sot of discussion. Is class the reason that Lady Catherine de Bourgh gets to keep the use of her first name versus Mrs Bennet?

Poor Mrs. Bennet, she was upset all the time because of the "entail" if it were not for the "entail" she would be alright. She really didn't know what she was doing when she had 5 daughters instead at least one son.

The first time I read Pride and Prejudice I was young, childless, and unmarried. Mrs. Bennet did not interest me in the least. I have recently reread it, and now, as a married woman with three daughters, I tend to identify with Mrs. Bennet a little and like her quite a bit. It may be the 21st century, but I think parents, and especially mothers, know that one's choice of a marriage partner (or if to marry at all) is perhaps the most important choice we make in life. For me, Mrs. Bennet embodies that sentiment, regardless of the century. Loved your video and all the others I have watched. Thanks for posting!

One thing I have been wondering is why has there not been more children after Lydia. Lydia is fifteen and Mrs Bennet maybe about 40 during the happenings in the book - so in time of Lydia´s birth she would have been only 25. They are in dire need of a male heir - have they stopped trying (are their marital relations that bad already) or is Mrs Bennet just for some reason not getting pregnant anymore.

Addendum: it was not too long, it was great. My main problem with Mrs. Bennet is not with her silliness, but in the ruthless venality and selfishness beneath that. I do NOT admire her character.

In the BBC mini-series, Mrs.Bennet's brother calls her Fanny. But perhaps that's not in the novel?

I would be more charitable with Mrs Bennett if she wasn't mean and self serving with her children's happiness. She's perfectly willing to try to force her daughter to marry a horrible man so that she doesn't have to leave Longbourn when her husband dies. That her daughters care about her and wouldn't see her homeless or living like Mrs. Bates in Emma if they can help it, doesn't matter to her. She's only placated by a couple of them marrying richly enough that she can continue in liesure. She wants what she wants and her children are her tools for achieving it and she's not smart enough to realize that.

In the 1995 adaption Mr Gardiner calls her Fanny. Am I wrong?

Mrs. Bennet was annoying and had bad manners sometimes, but she actually cared about her daughters so much. Meanwhile, Mr. Bennet didn't give a shit about his daughters, he only favored the oldest ones and literally neglected the younger ones.

I have also become much more sympathetic of Mrs Bennett. I read Longbourn this July and while I think Jo Baker gets some of the characters wrong, I do like how she handled Mrs Bennett and it opened my eyes to why Mrs Bennett thinks how she does and does what she does. Then I reread Pride and Prejudice and it was entirely different experience as I liked Mrs Bennett so much more and disliked Mr Bennett so much more! This was an excellent video

I can see why Mrs. Bennet may not like Elizabeth Bennet that much considering the 2005 film version we have this exchange between them: Mrs Bennet: People do not die of colds Elizabeth Bennet: Though she may well perish with the shame of having such a mother. I just think that comment from Elizabeth was kind of mean...

My opinion on my Mrs. Bennet has changed over time and I have become more sympathetic towards her, but The Other Bennet Sister made me more frustrated and annoyed with her. The way she treats Mary bothers me and it's worse because Mary is around Mrs.Bennet all the time. She means well, but her approach is harsh.

Are you saying “unintelligent” when you mean uneducated?

Maybe Mrs Bennett also is ill inclined to Elizabeth because she knows that Mr Bennett values Elizabeth because of her intelligence. Intelligence and wittiness seem to be the only things that Mr Bennett respects and values. This could and should be taken by Mrs Bennett as a personal insult, as Mr Bennett is devaluing all of her strengths (looks, liveliness, sociability). This means she instinctively devalues intelligence in her children as a self defense tool.

She's goofy, due to the panic of having _five!_ count 'em _five!_ daughters who need to be married off. The novel is largely a comedy (the first sentence indicates the novel is to be read as a comedy), and she is a key character as such. Mrs. Bennett and Lady Catherine de Bourgh are the two goofy sides of the same comedic coin.

Mr. Bennet is a classic covert narcissist. Thats the hill I will die on. Mrs. Bennet gives an impression of not liking Elizabeth because Mr. Bennet favors her in front of the other daughters. Mrs. Bennet has to defend the rest of the family. And, very important, Elizabeth treats her just like Mr. Bennet does.

Your comment that everyone loves Elizabeth Bennet struck me because I don't. I may feel sorry for her and understand the circumstances that led to her acerbic and self-righteous character, but I don't like her. She is like her father and imperious toward her mother and others. I don't like her or her father. Unlike her father, Elizabeth Bennet improves by the end of the novel but I suspect she is no less conceited in general. She never seems to clue in to the cruelty of her father. She is not expected to. It's rare for anyone to see any parent in the cold light of reason, but it does render her unlikable in my estimation.

Mrs Bennet is a much better parent than Mr Bennet. He is an AWFUL father. He does nothing at all of his own volition to make his daughters more marriageable

iF wICKHAM HAD NOT MARRIED LYDIA, THE OTHER SISTER'S CHANCES WOULD HAVE RUINED AND NOT MARRY WELL

Mr Benne, secluded with his books, lazy, detached, and disdainful, made no effort to guide his daughters and educate them decently, and then launch them into a wider society. If a rich young bachelor hadn't happened to arrive, they were at risk of becoming homeless old maids, or marrying beneath them in Meryton.. Mrs Bennet had try to do what her husband failed to attempt.

This is excellent content. You have not changed my mind, but I’m trying to be more sympathetic. Consider me a (useful?) levelling agent to the mostly female chorus that agrees with you. I wonder if this really is a gender-bias issue? Unfortunately, I am too prejudiced to judge that. I have always had a difficult time with “Jane Gardiner as was” (THAT was delightful and very perceptive on your part), and even a third reading of the book has not much altered my opinion of Mrs. Bennet. I agree, it was NOT a good marriage and Mr. Bennet’s playful contempt is a horrible example to set for his daughters. But I cut Mr. Bennet considerable slack (yeah, yeah, just because I’m a guy) for what I consider defensible reasons. He (Mr. Bennet) is not, in my opinion, the horrible father many modern readers make him into. Yes, he is weak in some ways, but he is not a monster. He has FIVE daughters with his spouse (he must have liked some things about her), he is not a spendthrift or gambler, does NOT step out on her, decently educated the daughters that could benefit from it and likely paid for lessons to enhance, did NOT piss away their dowries, and he obviously still admirers his wife in some ways. I teased my wife too much when we were first married, not because of contempt (she’s smarter than I am AND better looking), but because she was shy and I liked her (still do). Men rarely tease women they don’t admire (take it from me for what it’s worth). It would be fun, as others have surmised, to sit down with JA and hear what she REALLY thought of these characters. Mr. B. is closest to Lizzie, admires Jane (likely in the same--I mean a non-creepy-- way he admired “his” Jane), and he put in what time could be found for the other three. His relationship with Mary was sad, and the two younger ones were likely viewed as inferior products. We can guess he viewed Mrs. Bennet’s highest regard for Lydia as confirmation of his own final assessment of his own wife’s inability to observe and correctly value what she sees. I think your attempted defense of Mrs. Bennet’s behavior around the Lydia affair, the initial affront to Lizzie, the Collins caper, and the wrap up, can all be viewed as your own gender bias. She was more at fault than Mr. Bennet for allowing Lydia to display herself and set herself up as a pigeon, she was much more affronted by what Darcy was implying about her (Mrs. B.) than defending Lizzie, and Mrs. Bennet so disliked (was jealous of?) and undervalued Lizzie that she was perfectly happy to throw her over to a fool, if it would better feather her own nest. Finally, I just don’t see that Mrs. Bennet ever learns from her experiences. She still thinks Wickham is a good catch at the end, and she’s mainly happy (in my estimation) because everything worked out well for HER. Sure, we can blame the way she and her sister out (silly and poorly informed) on poorer educational opportunities compared to the brother, but I don’t think that holds much water. Jane, Lizzie, and Lydia ALL grew up under the same roof, received similar education, and all had their share of beauty. Lydia went bad (primarily) because of her own lack of character. You can’t keep ALWAYS blaming that on someone else. And Catherine Moreland (to jump to another shark) did NOT follow the path of Isabella Thorpe (or Lydia) because, while young and innocent, had a better foundation and character. I don’t think she’ll be another Mrs. Bennet. Catherine actually grew wiser from experience, as young as she was. You might also consider how Jane Hadlow paints Mrs. Bennet in her astute “fan fiction” The Other Bennet Sister. The portrait is not at all favorable to “Jane Gardiner”. Sorry for the length of this, but like you, I am obsessed with Jane Austen. I very much appreciate and enjoy your videos.

Women were not supposed to be clever and were encouraged to be airheads. I have alwys thought Mr. Bennett was a bit of a bad catch. So long as He was fine he didn't seem to worry about his daughters future or anything else . I think after Lizzie was born he lost interest in the other girls. Why did they not get an education to Lizzies standard? He proposed to hjis wife, not the other way round, not getting married wasn't an option cor a woman. I have always disliked Mr. Bennett. If you think about it, the Bronte's had similar problems with their father and lack of financial provision. Then there is Cranford too,

Mrs. Bennet reminds me so much of my own mother and my feelings towards the character are the same… complicated 😅 I think she was definitely more relieved than happy that Lydia got married but pretending to be very happy about the marriage was a way of protecting her own pride.

Wonderfully interesting! My theory of why the Bennets could not have a son after five daughters: Mr. Bennet was unfaithful and brought back an STI that made his wife barren. There is nothing in the book in that sense, but there is nothing to contradict it either.