Lines you wouldn’t hear in a James Bond film | Mock The Week - BBC 

times when I used to binge watch these for days

Although I'll always miss the old days of Frankie, Andy, Russel, Ed etc I am really liking this new talent , they seem to get along really well. Plus I love Hugh there to pass the torch on.

That guy who laughed early on the train joke..

That mandatory sexual harassment line was awesome :D

"you're not a very positive person are you?" "the names Bond, ionic Bond"

Best one was "Well, we finally meet at last Mr. Bond - I'm from the Child Support Agency!!" 🤣🤣🤣

“No thank you Q, I’ll take the Prius!”😂😂😂😂😂

"Poofinger: The man with the fecal touch." "I want you to find Goldeneye...I can't see properly without my other contact lens."

"For goodness sake. Can't ANYONE shoot straight? You've fired over 200 rounds at him and not even a scratch"!

1:39 "It's another gadget, Bond. This is a way to distract your opponents -- some light-up trainers, for no reason." One of my favorite gags of this season.

Q. "Here's a nifty gadget you'll like, Bond. It's actually been around for quite a while... It's called a 'condom' "

"I'm James Bond, and I never use a condom because I'm sterile."

"Just a routine stop, Mr Bond. License please. I'm very sorry, Mr Bond, but this license to kill expired last month. You could get in serious trouble for chasing villains without a valid license, Mr Bond."

"You know what? Bang. You're dead. ... God, that was easy. How has no one tried this, before?"

That last joke isn't something you'd hear in a James Bond movie, but it IS something you'd see in a Kingsman Movie.

Who's back here after Hugh's appearance in No Time To Die?

This was the funniest "Lines You Wouldn't Hear" in a long time

''You have saved my life how could i repay you? By 12 monthly instalments of £4,000 plus interest and 3.1% apr terms and conditions apply''

That rail ad should become real :D

I find my self using “oooo 7” in a very camp way in my day to day life

Those trainers are awesome :D

the guy in the glasses was best

The fact that Hugh Dennis is now acc in a bond film 😂

Double o eighteen months 😂😂

“Bond, James Bond, has no time to die… meanwhile, Dennis, Hugh Dennis, died in no time” *makes finger gun and aims and shoots at Hugh Dennis*

The name's Bond, Terry Bond. I don't have a license to kill, but I can legally operate a forklift, only that doesn't count for anything, DOES IT, MUM?!

How do you expect me to colour, felt tip, crayon, pen? No Mr Bond, i expect you to dye.

Some real gems here

''Bond these are for your eyes only. Make sure nobody snaps Kate Middleton naked again''

4 years later, who knew James would be so right about the phone? XD

Cool how Hugh Dennis was in No Time to Die

The guy in the glasses looks like an older version of Lenard from the Big Bang theory aha

These are fantastic

who’s here after seeing hugh in No time to die!

7 Q's are in a pub discussing their best gadgets, each of the first six list off their best when the seventh interrupts with an "ooops, wrong room, meant to visit Picard, clicks his fingers and vanishes in a flash of light."

hugh sounds exactly like a charecter from james bond

I like Sara's trainers...and it's good to have her back. (waiting on... someone to upload the whole episode to RU-vid now that I need a licence to use iPlayer)

James, I’ve just had a joint call from HR and the legal department.. what’s this about you going round saying you have a *”licence to kill”* ?

this is one of the best ones 🤣😭

‘Martini, stirred not shaken’

0:19 that's where apple got that idea

''Here take this its called a mint your breath stinks''

Gary Delaney was the star of that one 👍

The guy with the glasses is so underrated (Don't know his name😥)

"Hello, Mr Bond. I am your son from "The Living Daylights". The way you spread your seed, don't be surprised that you have children, daddy."

after seeing hugh in no time to die i want him to play q

"Coming soon, November 2020"

The "new charger" joke aged very well

Bring back Mock The Week. I a suffering withdrawals. You must know how uch people love it or we wouldn't be here.😢

You know what rested 😂

1:53 is my favorite.

"My name is Bond. James Bond. And I'm an alcoholic"

I wasted years waiting for that film! 007 faces his most challenging opponent: Janet from MI6's HR department!

my entry: 'thats the last you will see of me' ... said the alcoholic.

"Bond, it's Moneypenny. I've come back for an update, Manchester City is out of the Champions League

I want Sarah pascoe’s trainers that light up they look amazing 😍😍😍

My entry: "I love you"

James acaster predicted the iPhone 12 4 years ago

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away

"A bottle of brown ale for me".

the distracting your apponents line from James Acaster was aimed at Sara Pascoe

Here is your martini sir. Holy crap this is strong. Could you water it down for me please.

Probably the best lineup without an Ed in it

"Choke on that, and that, and that! The third one has the best gas mileage in this century, and maybe the next." #height o' the alpha class

Excellent product placement on the bbc

I've got one..Bond :".let's get married?"

i’m annoyed no body said “mr bond shit sorry i want expecting you”

My name is Bond. James tax-exempt municipal Bond

Great to think Sara pascoe was in a Robbie Williams music video. It was she's the one

Not tonight honey, I have a headache.

Here's another new gadget, Bond. A weapon not made from animals or animal products that can kill 2 people at once. It's called a V-Gun.

The first joke is true, I have asked.

0:19 this aged well

"the names Bond, James Bond.. And I believe in feminism" "And before I kill you Mr Bond... I must show you a PowerPoint presentation"

I know this was from ERB, but here goes my entry. "I'm so Far up Dr. No's Nuts I called myself Bond. Gold Bond"

VILLAIN: I WILL KILL YOU, BOND!!!!! BOND: Not if I get replaced by another actor...

Poor sara

OO-7

British humor....sometimes I get it, sometimes not. This is one of those times.

Things you wouldn’t hear in a James Bond film keep your hair on mate

Met Felt. The Fool Nine Scotland Yards

are they shooting from the hip? Or teleprompter?

Oooooooh seven

Does anyone know which one had rob go “the names bond, James Bond I’ve got a license to kill and I’ll have a martini shaken not stirred.” And then goes “oh wait that’s just what he says innit” am I going mad or is that an actual one that actually happened? Because I can’t find it anywher

Sorry it’s my time of the month , a line I never heard in a bond film

James '); DROP TABLE agents;-- Bond

The first joke, I'm sorry what? 😂😂

did Mock have like, an anti-endorsement from Southern Rail?? seemed like it was obligatory to take a shot in them in every one of these

They could have said Stirred not shaken. Or was that a different spy either way it works

James Acaster to be the next Bond!

Gonna steal one from American WLIIA and say "No, thank you M, I'll take the Hyundai"

i don't get the full name joke, could someone explain it to me?

Very funny

Anyone know the Welsh guys name?

i found about 4 of those comments amusing more Q jokes

Question. What does the woman mean about swiping left?

This will be the last bond film

Arthur Bloveilt? Wasn't he in ram jam?

Remember when they used to have funny comedians who weren’t pressured to censor them selves? now we have this

"Thank you for the car, Q, but could I get a monster truck instead?"