I relate to this so much. I got diagnosed with autism at 15. I’m now 20, and navigating the world as an autistic adult is hard, because we know the world isn’t accommodating to people like us. Neurotypical People don’t understand that having a meltdown isn’t triggered by one thing. For me at lest, it’s triggered by multiple things piling on top of one another. Like if I wake up and my existence feels wrong. I can sometimes just feel my clothes too much, and the texture makes me wanna crawl out of my skin. The buzzing of the fan can feel a thousand times louder. I first get overstimulated, then it progresses to a meltdown, I feel like like a ticking time bomb. My emotions feel so intense on bad days. As I’ve grown older, I’ve gotten coping mechanisms. Noise canceling headphones/ear plugs are a life saver. Certain tiny fidget objects help ground me. Some days suck, but some days feel absolutely perfect. I’ve grown to surround myself with people who understand/ are neurodivergent themselves, they don’t mind if I info dump the entire lore of tmnt, or if I’m having a no talk day. I’ve learned to keep being my weird self and the right people will find you
My biggest issues are that I'm surrounded by people who don't even believe autism is a thing, people who think I'm overreacting, and people who simply don't believe that my overstimulation isn't me being rude, but me being In physical pain almost 24/7 because of things that could easily be changed if only they cared enough. I'm also currently being tested more and more and I've only known for a few months. I've been curious and somewhat concerned for a long while and plenty of friends, alongside former partners, have had the same thoughts and pushed me to figure it out. But as a newly diagnosed person I haven't had time to figure it out, nor have I ever had any sort of help with any of the millions of issues I have. I've just been taught to STFU and stop whatever I do. I have been forced to make eye contact, even though it hurts. Forced to be quiet even though it causes my teeth to feel like I'm biting something rough. Forced to sit still when it causes immense pain to do so. Forced to sit in silence as my brain travels millions of miles per hour. Forced to allow others to do and say things that hurt me for years. Forced to allow people to touch me without consent. Forced to listen to sounds and voices that cause genuine pain. Forced to pretend to be a different person my entire life simply because I don't know I could be myself. And because my family hasn't, and won't, accept who I am. And so so many other issues I've been forced to sit through. And that doesn't even get into the crap with being gay, or trans, or not being religious or anything like that. But I don't know how to allow myself to be my true genuine self, or how to properly use my neurodivergency to my advantage, or how to simply express it. Because it's been forced out of me for so long. I've been accidentally masking for 18 years. And now I'm being told I can stop, being told to let it out. And then I go home and my family, the people who are supposed to take care of me and love me no matter what, are forcing me to continue pretending, to continue to mask and hide myself. Continuing to hurt me all the time not only emotionally by being rude, but physically by making me deal with the overstimulation and the issues. I just wish I could spend a week, or a day, or even just a few hours in a space where I could me, and be free to be comfortable, and not be hurting for the first time in my life.
god this is too relatable... i really hope you feel better soon, autistic meltdowns suck. this might just be me personally, but i'd love to listen to you ramble about spiderman, it might not be a super big interest of mine but i love hearing about others interests and how it makes them happy! i struggle with speech too, but i try move past it by realising it makes my friends laugh (not in a mocking way, its just funny sometimes) and try see the bright side, which is pretty hard, but y'know, it helps. but yeah man, hope it gets better for you soon, have a good day!!
Don't worry that Spider-Man rambling is on the way. I appreciate the support, and the appreciation for my "realness" And yeah my inability to speak makes friends laugh, and makes my partner baby me so it's positive sometimes. Thanks for your views, opinions, and ideas. Always appreciated
This wasn’t an autistic meltdown in itself, though it referenced one or multiple of varying degrees of severity that occurred prior to the video record
That... Is a very fair expression of what occurred. And you are correct, the video itself occurs a while after. But thanks for the "explanation". In quotes because I do not know if it's the correct word
I understand. i guess somthing that might help is that time moves forward. your emotions might feel like a LOT right now and they are a lot, and maybe it builds to a meltdown. but time keeps going, it wont feel like that forever.
I have autism too. The worst part about Autism is meltdowns. Its something I can't help either. What causes your meltdowns. Me changes. Dad confuses me and abuses me. Because I need help with cleaning and step by step and transitionkng and shower and what to expect and plan my day for my basic needs. I have a hard time with this. Sensory issues too. I just want to ask you, what level autism do you have. I have level 2 to 3. I have tourettes. I have ADHD. I have mild to moderate language disease and severe audiotory processing disease
The meltdowns are often the bane of my existence. A lot causes it for me. Changes are a big one. Plans not happening often freaks me out. Have a lot of issues with sound, especially when multiple sounds happen together. And a long list of more garbage. I don't know what level. Currently going through testing and won't be done until September 23rd. But the nice people at the therapy place immediately knew I had ADHD and fairly quickly thought autism was the answer to my questions. I have a lot of processing issues, but my family kinda just forced me to deal with it for the first 17 years of living. And the people I live with don't believe I have anything at all. But like anybody else with any neurodivergency, I'm just here
I don't have issues with that, but I've met people who do. And I'm sorry you have to deal with that. And I hope you have good ways of handling yourself and have people around you to help you, and who don't judge you.
@@FynnsFollymy family is the same way. They are in denail to my symptoms. They think it's mental health when everyone else says it's autism. I have a hard time with being independent. My autism and motor skills and movement disability makes cooking unsafe, cross the street unsafe, and it makes dress harder and using sharp things I cut myself a lot without wanting to. Add this to the mix, I need a day to day play for me. I use a picture board to help me. I use fidget spinner and many other things.
I have a hard time with loud noises and bright lights. My interoception sensory issues are underactive making it hard to regulate my temperature, reconize when hungry or full, reconize when need to pee or poop, reconize thirst, and how I feel so makes regulation impossible and lot of frustration. Add endroxrine issues makes it hard to regulate emotions. Add this to unpredictable life of my family and no help makes it impossible for me to function.
