I was hoping that you'd have some support from at least a few people on this topic given that it is 2021, not 1950. I see no issues at all. It is really rude for people to object to this as if anyone cares about their opinion on how to live our personal lives. Unfortunately, poking their noses into other people's private matters is a uniquely Indian pastime. I thought things had changed over time but the comments section has proven me wrong. By the way, I did the same thing as you guys but 20 years ago. I live in the US (I am originally Indian). We eventually got married and are still happily married. Nothing changed before and after marriage. It is not a big deal.
what is the difference between 2021 and 1950 rather than technological improvement? what is the point of getting married if you done everything without marriage? if knowing each other is the point then why is that west has 50 to 87% divorce rates?
Marriage doesn't guarantee happiness.Marriage doesn't guarantee that two ppl will stay together forever.If there's gonna be a happily ever after it will happen with or without marriage.Having children doesn't guarantee they'll take care of u wen u grow old.Peeps saying divorce rate is high in the western countries-In the west ppl speak up against what's wrong,they r headstrong,have a mind of their own and they don't stay in abusive/bad marriages due to the fear of society like here in India. I see so many unhappy marriages around,spouses projecting a happy marriage outside bt cheating on each other. I would much rather go through a divorce than stay in an unhappy marriage,give birth to a child n have our troubled relationship spoil the child's future. Marriage is just a piece of paper.
Marriage has a spiritual connotation in Hinduism (Sanatan Dharma).In Hinduism,there are four goals of every human life- Dharma(performing one's various duties in an ethical and righteous manner),Arth(Generating wealth in a righteous manner),Kaam(Pursuit of material pleasure in a righteous manner,it includes marriage),Moksha (freedom from the cycle of life and death).To achieve these four goals,a human life right from birth to death has been divided into four stages- Brahmcharya (celibacy till the age of 25), Grihastha (householder's life), vanprastha (it is a transition phase between Grihastha and Sanyasa.In this stage u are supposed to train your body and mind for Sanyasa stage),Sanyasa(Withdrawal from sense pleasure and any kind of material pursuit. In this stage,u are expected to SEEK for the ULTIMATE TRUTH to attain Moksha). In this whole scheme of things, marriage is considered necessary unless u are a RENUNCIATE(IN India u will find Renunciates also but that way of life is not for everyone).But the KEY POINT here is marriage is not considered an end in itself.It is just a means to attain the ULTIMATE GOAL of human life ie MOKSHA.In order to sense the profoundness of this concept,u will have to read holy Scriptures of Hinduism or talk to some spiritual Guru.They will definitely guide u in right direction).But don't take any decision on the basis of superficial reasons and on the basis of your own whims and fancies).
As she said. Every being is born under different circumstances. One should first understand the circumstances before applying any religious/social norms to that person's life.
Marriage is an institution that helps in following certain physical, moral and spiritual obligations of mutual interest for the family and the society. It is up to one's choice for any thing and our choice will have its fruits.
Marriage has much deeper meaning in Sanatana dharma context. It is the wife and husband together working towards the goal of Dharma, helping each other and one being the other half and doing the prescribed duties in that path. Living in USA I am understanding much more of Sanatana dharma that I haven’t when I was in India. Thanks to my wife I am much more devoted now and so Sandhyavandnam and read Vedic scriptures. My wife has transformed my life.
Well you can reach the goals with your partner not being married also, it doesnt change anything, and as I said marriage should not change anything between people in the relationship. Unfortunately sometimes marriage destroy relationship, cause many people forget how to take care about other half, they take it as a granted. Respect, trust, treating the partner should be fair from the day one no matter if you are married or not. If you have paper or not. You can help being the other half and doing prescribed duties in path without marriage. Tadam! :D And remember not everyone on this planet is Hindu, so for them your concept may not exist. :) Not everyone has same vision, and not everyone has to be married. Let people live as they want. :)
Having kids mean that when you grow old, your kids will take care of you, give you company in your old age till your death...so Indian culture encourages getting married and having kids at the right time......Or else you see in Europe, old people are sent to old asylums/shelter, a very pathetic scenario to imagine...... anyways everyone is free to make their own choice
Well yes i agree that dumping parents into old houses is not the solution and all. But the problem unfortunetely is wider in Europe, USA, ect. Life over there is expensive, and everyone is working, so at the end many ppl can not take care of the old ones, once everyone is at work. For example we have many institutions where people in the old age will have provided professional medical care where at homes we are not able to provide. Two- according to having kids. Many of us (we do believe) that we are not making babies as a security for old age- as its selfish. We calling them to this world because we want to, not with the conditions that they will have to give us something in return when we will be old. But as you said everyones choice is the choice.
@@myamazingindia3021 No Indian themselves welcome babies in their lives with the expectation they these babies will look after them at their old age, no parents expect anything from them in return as you think...It is the great Indian culture that automatically teaches kids that their father and mother or grandfather and grandmother are God-like to them, so it is the kids duty to take care of them at any walk in life. This idea is infused in kids mind from an young age....So, till today you see parents and grandparents still staying together happily with married couple in Indian society.. .So, Indian society always ask a couple to have kids and maintain the traditions ...
@@dekadnasuman still for me the decision of marriage and kids its only from the side of the couple. :) If they dont want marriage, if they dont wanna kids thats their own business and the way of life. I would not want to be born if one of my parents, or both of them would not want me. Thats why this kind of decision is very important about making children etc.
@@myamazingindia3021 You are stong women...by your culture....and you know exactly for what you stand for.....great respect.....keep going..... Whenever I get confuse....about something like this....I just give thought......for myself....and start thinking....about some of the best inventor in the world...like Tesla founder...Face book...Whatsapp....Sir Newton...Apple founder... And I get my answers....All culture are good but some upbringing are so strong...that there culture teach them to take risk to land on Mars...and have vision to settle mankind there.........like SpaceX....
@@myamazingindia3021 this is the law of nature ...as we sow so shall we reap . Making kids is ok , but not expecting from them to be take care of them in their old age . Did you feel how western old people feel alone ? This is our responsibility to take care of our parents .. This is not selfish act , this is what we cultivate. We all love Nature , nature expect us from to take care and maintain the nature , if isn't destruction occurs...
In my opinion Love is endless...it automatically grow in heart and u accepting him/her nature habit behaviour Second marriage is legal permission of society u live together Or say two family come toghter marriage give legal platform of our society....God bless you....Jai hind
Obviously, you should take your time to marry & u shouldn't rush due to the societal pressure. Marriage is such a overhyped part of Indian culture but I feel we should definitely respect each others private space and let them take the important decision of their life by themselves. My parents are also in favor of not marrying too earlier, I'm positive that this overhyped thinking of marriage will eradicate from the society by next generation to come. Bless you 🕉 ❣🇮🇳
ur very smart and practical, i also love the fact that this video accurately portrays all my thoughts/opinions. stay safe and good luck with everything!
Salute your thoughts,what your mind as well as heart says obviously u have do that.Don't be shy about people offcourse you are so brave,I knew it though🥰💓🇮🇳......
First, you must know the importance of 'mangalasutra' (married life) before you opt for 'Kamasutra' (Living relation). Human relation is different from animal relation. In India majority of the people don't want an isolated life, prefer to have family life.
Even after marriage also people cheats!! And in india extramarital affairs r more than western countries !! So it ckearly proves that marriage and having kids is not the ultimate solution to stop cheating or affairs!! It's just both the partner must be loyal ,humble amd respectful to each other and take their decisions mutaully to make their relationship successful or healthy:))
Pretty girl with pretty mind.. wish you all the best for your future and your goals🙂❣️ You will find all varieties of people in India. Explore and Enjoy🤘🙂
I stumbled upon your video and guess I really liked the way you express your genuine liking for India. :-) Just a curious question (you are free to ignore): you guys love each other so much as can be seen in your wonderful videos, that you have been together for may be 4yrs and 2yrs as live-in relationship. Then whats an issue being married? Is there any reason for not marrying?
I understand ur point of view... And I'm gonna follow that too but the thing is.... People in the society who are saying to when r u getting married... They don't have any problem with ur marriage or anything... They just Care about you that's why they asking you these things... And nobody in the society or in family will force u by tide ur hands and giving you marriage certificate.... They are just asking because they care about you... And its ok... Because here in india people are so close to their society... They share their pain happiness to each other.... Because marriage is a big function in anyone's life here.... That's why they ask so that they can all enjoy... If both boy and girl have no problem with that and have understood each other better than its ok to get married..... And it doesn't mean that everyone should get married for making society happy... They ask just because they care about you and your happiness... Its just simple things... And maybe u would not listen these things in west because they have work culture... And i think rarely society over there care about u... For now just live happily... And have beautiful life... And if anyone asks this question from now just smile and say we'll get married at right time and I'll invite you for sure.. Whenever we marry
Awesome..i like it. every human being has unique finger prints and different time phases according to their birth circumstances . If any aunty or Uncle ask u " when is your marriage", just say nothing, If some day u happen to see them in any relatives funeral , just ask them when is your turn ? :) :)
In my opinion, open relation is escape from responsibility. When every boy or girl run away from responsibility. What happen to family. But this is your life you are open to take decision.
Marriage does not mean that someone will be responsible. The responsibility starts since you decided that you are together. :) Before someone will marry the partner he/she needs to know that the partner treats well since day one- simple.
@goenje shuya Well for me i need to know the person, to take decision about marriage. As i said nothing is guaranteed before and after marriage, but at least knowing the person does matter at the end for many people. :) Imagine my friend she was supervisor in my airline, she decided to be married after she was 60 years old. She said we made it so long so it means we can be married, we deserved :P :) This is also the solution to get old and then get married. :) The way of life and ideas might be different and not like the scheme says, and the society. :)
You are a beautiful soul! I am an Indian man and I totally support your right to choose your path. Your boyfriend is a lucky dude to have such a sorted lady in his life. Should never lose you. Cheers
I totally understand and respect your point of view but tell you what, after a certain age , after a certain point of time , women especially crave for more in a relationship - marriage and kids. It's not the societal pressure per se but something that comes with age. People like to be rooted and to have that sense of security , to have like a formal stamp over the relationship. And marriage gives you that ! You'll probably remember my words after a few years, for now enjoy your journey and companionship 🙂
maybe one day it will come this day that i will be married. But i dont feel insecure not being married. Once i will be proposed then let see. :) However this is not condition to be with someone for me. :) Many of my older friends they are together above 20 years, not married, having kids and still happy. :)
Indian parents want their daughter-in-laws to live with them. Sons are very important according to Indian culture - sons have to take care of parents when they get old. I am an Indian from the Caribbean and Indians live differently from the Indians in India.
I have relationship like you ,but one day his mom came to me and asking for marriage , because she thought my boy friend might have marriage and children otherwise his life will be spoil in this world who Will see old-age of my boyfriend and they like to see their grand children so i thought I have no right to hold him for my pleasure so i gave permission to marry other girl and now he has wife and kids but inthe mean time we also live in together ,in a another city ,i am earning well he also earning well no problem at all now ,
No marriage... no kids... no responsibilities Enjoy the life our own.... now and latter( when old) , but it will be too late by then to time travel bk and set things right
Well i did not say anything like that, you assumed. But the thing is what is right for you it is not, and does not have to be for everybody. ;) It is good to get out of the cave and see that we are not anymore in stone age and people live accordingly as they wish. :)
Time is really short, we also age and die. I used to think we live forever, never age, Corona brought mortality to the forefront. Marriage is spiritual in Hinduism, so from that point of view, it is better to be married. There were extremely low divorce rates among Hindus, and solid commitment till end of life, don't know how it is now. Views may change as one becomes more mature in thinking with time. Wouldn't it be great if we can think as if different time periods in the future are now, i.e. putting on a time travel thinking cap now. My analysis: All in all it is better to be married. Ancient rishis of India were very wise, if marriage is not necessarily the way, they would have said so.
Societal pressure is to much in asia but we are seeing change in japan 61% men and 49% women didnt once had romance in there lifetime and same is happening in korea china and soon it will follow in india becoz people are pressurizing too much on such nonsense
Live the life the way you want and don’t overthink. The right thing for you maybe wrong for other and vice versa. But the bottom line is you’re happy with him and you want to stay with him. Marriage is just a piece of paper. You need his love and respect more than anything. Be happy and stay in love. Lots of love to you guys
Hello maam. My love and respect to you. I liked listening to your point of view about marriage and live-in relationship. It is always interesting to hear to other side of the story, and sometimes eye opening. As kids we have always been taught, the ultimate union of spirit and body can be attained only after marriage. No wonder because of this, pre-marital loss of chastity is still a taboo here. Marriage is like a sort of certificate here, that proves the parterner is loyal and will never look for others in life. Also divorce is sort of a taboo, so once you get married, no wonder how difficult it is, you are expected to continue it. Live in relationship in typical Indian point of view is like "*Oh, he/she may dump him any time, and he/she is wasting time. Also he/she must be serious about life*" and treat live-in more *casually* Also people think western system does not take any relation seriously(which ofcourse is not true) I have since my childhood heard that Nina Gupta(a Bollywood celebrity) who had had such a relationship with Viv Richards(West Indian cricketer) had to live a hard life to raise her kid, after they broke up. So these type of taboos got deeper. Once again it was great listening to your side. Good day to you!
everybody has entitled to their own opinion and respect that shorter life love is strong as long as you comfortable with it blessings from elders dont give a damn to others it your life and filter yourself welcome light and shed darkness
It's just not society, all our religions forbids us to enter into a physical relationship without a legal marriage which according to all faiths is considered to be sacred, solemn & holy pact between a man & a women who have agreed to stay together. Having physical relationship outside marriage is considered a sin in all the religions. If Varun thinks, he is above all these, then he must also consider changing his views on non veg foods. I mean you can't be a hypocrite. Don't take me otherwise, I am very straight forward. I love both of you very much. U both look amazing together, but there are certain beliefs of Varun, which are not considerate & contradictory too. Sleep over my point of view plz. Don't preach bad abt non veg. It hurts. It's a preference, a choice. No one has the right to comment on someone 's folding habit.
Well me and Varun we do not belive in all of that. :) We have different point of view regarding marriage. We dont live under pressure and we are not planning to be under that. We live as we like, and if it will be time for marriage or our decision will be changed (one day) then we will do so. No because of someone, no because of any religions and believes. Only because we wanted. Btw I dont say anything wrong about non veg, Me myself i am eating fish... :) Greets :)
Love the clarity of your thoughts and respect them. We Indians need to be an evolving society accepting new thoughts and ideas. We are not living in 1000 AD. Need to absorb the best of East and West both and keep moving ahead.👍👍🙏
It is a strange paradox that a country like India which offers the deepest spiritual sources for liberation or Moksha from samsara also has the worst mechanism of bonding one to samsara. Indians are super-conditioned in a myopic vision with regards to relationships - like stupid robots they pressure and imprison people in mental cages of samsara. It has positives and negatives. But relationships are always destined to fail - maybe you won't separate but it will never give permanent happiness. That can only come with spiritual enlightenment.
Well, to be honest Marriage is a lifelong commitment atleast in India and I'm all okay that both of you should know each other personality from every walk of life before getting married. But the question is that you have to decide when is the right time. Both of you will need to be stable and committed at some point of time. Because with commitment comes responsibility. Otherwise, our monkey mind is always ready to deviate us here and there until our death. It will not let you take one proper decision. There is no perfect life on earth and never will be. We have to find the right balance.
India is not bad as much as this over rebellious youngsters projects who are overwhelmed with drastic shift in the Indian society came in past decade. I can say that I have a thousand good things to say than bad things about my nation India but the frustrated youngsters are just straightaway rejecting without being in state of discussion with already set mind that they are not even gonna listen to what older experienced generation has to say. This makes me sad. Improvements and modifications in the norms of society is good for human welfare but rejecting whatever you have your own will lead to the loss of your own identity. Marriage and having kids is not a pressure but is a way to carry the human race or for that matter any race forward and now a days I keep hearing from here and their that they don't want to get married or have kids. If everyone will start acting like that I don't know where we are heading to. People often get attracted to the glittering things but not every glittering thing is gold. We (most Indians) treat parents like our gods and do not put them in old age homes or make them leave separately and take care of them till the time we have them. That is one of the beautiful thing which is also I see somewhat getting faint now a days. RETHINK . Norms in the society are the 1000s of years of experiences and timely modifications are advancement is good but straightaway rejection is concerning.
Come on India already have 1.3 billion population ! Married couple always can adopt one. In this Age of Kaliyuga pls don't bring in more children to suffer. Come on you Hindu's you all suppose to know this..
In india marriage is not only between two people .marriage is between two families and growing relationship and it is our culture ,if u love someone than whats the problem to get married .we live in india and we have to follow ur culture .marriage is come with lots of responsibility ,and coward people dont get married because they are not ready for responsibilities.
As i said in the video the marriage does not mean that the responsibility will be guaranteed ... and any assurity. Many of my friends from India are divorced. And unfortunately partners were not responsible, they were not loyal.. so come on. Marriage wont change personality, wont give you 1000 % label that someone will stay with you until you die! :) You can put this kind of reasons between the fairy tales.
Are u saying in India don't have divorce cases? For an "example " If a lady gets a divorce from her abusive husband that means she is a coward? if an un married couple trying to bring up their kids considered un responsible ?, and finally a legally married mother being forced to make abortion as soon as their in laws found it's a baby girl considered monkey mind?
earlier there was no concept of divorce in hindu marriage system. but now the secular state of India allow divorce and the society also allow divorce. SO the marriage ritual has no power if anyone of spouse want divorce. State will grant it and no one can do anything about it. So what left in a realtionship? consumerism and happiness. But all of us must think about old age also. There was a system which protected old people in the concept of Joint family system. Fro short term happiness people are sacrificing overall welfare system of joint family. But be sure that if your old age is longer than spend your whole time in old age sanctuary. If we push Individualism so hard then be prepared to reap what you have sown. death started after 30, in 50s you will realised that you may die soon. if you survive 80 years, it is ovious that 20 years of old age will be a jouney of hell just top be happy for (20yrs of age to -40) 20 years of extreme access of freedom of individualism. Choice is yours. Access the extreme freedom of Individualism in early 20-60s, then you will be alone in 60-80-90-100s, may be end up in a old age Ashram. I know all this freedom but i choose to stay in joint family and have linked the profession into a family business so that future generation find employement within their 20s can not go back to Individualism. Linking capitalism to family Business will leads to joint life family system. Labour makrket people will bear the flag of individualism, becuase it serve the corparate sectors. More divided family means more products to sell.
Reason Hindu life completed when the person see that age of 50 their kids getting married and have wife and person should do the kannay Dan or receive daughter from someone from one. So life of Hindu complete in age of 50....mostly Muslim of India and Christian also follow this pattern
