Living Without Fear: Dr Jee Hyun Kim at TEDxMelbourne 

I want to hug this woman and tell her that I love her.

I really appreciated her sincerity and transparency. She displays the adage, "people don't care what you know, they want to know that you care" quite beautifully. Thank you Dr. Kim for a speaking so eloquently on a much needed topic.

Personal experience on how I successfully overcame my anxiety: It's a cycle of thought --> emotion (what you feel) --> thought --> emotion (what you feel) .... First you need to differentiate between these two. Because dealing with one is different from dealing with the other. Since it's a circle, you must break one of these, but you can deal with both. Dealing with the thought(s) is more important. The circle (your anxiety) does not disappear instantly. But it becomes weaker every time you manage to break one element of it. 1. Regarding the emotions you might search for breathing techniques or methods to cause physical pain to lessen the feeling. And remember the emotion (= physical, what you actually feel when anxiety manifests itself) is not the same as the thought which triggered the emotion. You cannot fight the emotion itself or run away mentally without making things worse. But what you can do is to face the emotions which means to become aware of your bodily symptoms and accept them voluntarily. Your emotions cannot (!) force you to fight them mentally (= with your thoughts). That’s how the chain between emotion and thought can be cut by refusing to fight the emotion after having had the thought. 2. Regarding the thoughts themselves: Your thoughts can become an inner circle if you start catastrophising. Catastrophising should be interrupted right at the start and must not be thought through till some presumed result is found which falsely promises inner peace if you act according to it. How do you do it? Do not try to not think about it because that does not work. Instead, think about something else something that distracts you very easily (for instance, in my case that’s the latest football news). And now back to 1.. And remember, the anxiety circle doesn’t disappear instantly, but it becomes weaker every time focus on 1. or 2.. Your anxiety will steadily decrease by time, might take you days, weeks or months. But it works if you stick to it. You are in control: Your fear cannot force you to fight it. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1. John 4:18, highly recommend the entire 4th chapter) "God is love." 1. John 4:16

16:05 You have no idea how weird it is to hear somebody else say that, when you've always believed it yourself. Hit me right in the feels! Beautiful brave women! So it really is all about exposing yourself to your fears and replacing the wrong messages with new good ones.

This has been posted more than a year but in case Dr Jee stumbles on this video.. Thank you for this beautiful Ted Talk. I teared up after watching this video as I always feel my childhood has been robbed and it has greatly my affected my personality and outlook in life. We never get to choose the family we are born with and the problems that might come our way as a child. In my case my mother has always been my saving grace and it keeps me from having any regrets being born in this surrounding. Too bad she has to work far away from me and I hate to bring her problems by opening up the conflicts we encounter at home but then she is the only one who truly cares about me. The last part is meaningful. I guess at the end, sharing our worries to someone who is willing to listen is better than confined emotions. I hope every parent considers the ideas here and the trauma their children get for every bad or selfish decisions they make.

Thank you for being so vulnerable and allowing us all to connect with you. You had my heart in the first 30 seconds. I wish you could see how beautiful I see you.

This is one of the Best TEDx Talk I've watched.

I could listen to everything people say with such a beautiful voice

Thanks, a very human scientist. You made me cry, Love it.

I felt THE SAME WAY growing up, and to this day I struggle with thoughts like that. But there is power in knowing we're not alone! It's a relief to know I'm not alone, and at the same time I'm saddened to hear you had to go through that.

Beautiful voice; could listen to it all day.

Such a good speech. She is very authentic and passionate about her topics !!!

This is so relevant for those who have Childhood/complex PTSD. Thank you for shedding light on this issue that affects so many - and most often, silently and without help. Thank you Dr. Kim. I hope you go on to help many others

Wow.. I discovered this video at the perfect timing. I was having a chat with my mom this morning & she started to gaslight me so I called her out on it & for the first time in my 25 years of life she admitted to the emotionally abusing & neglecting me... I had to talk her through different scenarios of her abuse & what a covert narcissist would do & it clicked for her. It heavily affects me to this day how I was treated as a child. I searched on RU-vid how to live without fear & this video was the first to pop up. The introduction had me in disbelief.

It is a sympathetic form to explain the origins of anxiety in early experiences from childhood. Really we can change and eliminate our anxieties remembering and living more consciously about our lifes because we are made to live in our natural state: happiness. Thanks Dr.Kim.

This made me cry. My favorite TED talk ever.

Really touched by this Ted Talk. Thank you for your transparency and your insight. I feel like there's alot that I went through as a kid early on. I was always told "wow you're so strong for your age!". I always tried to be strong for myself and my parents but I think by doing this I pushed back alot of my traumatic experiences and never really reached a sense of peace with them. This really helped me know what I need to do next in life.

Dr. Hyun! You are AMAZING! Powerful, intelligent and driven to heal self and others with your gifts of COMPASSION & EMPATHY!!! Blessed!!!!

Jee--Thank you so much for being willing to be vulnerable, to share from your own experience. It made your talk hit home in a way that nothing else could have. Very brave, and very inspiring.

Thank you for posting this and Dr. Kim thank you for sharing. At around 7 I noticed how my father changed when he drank. I'm now 42 and I don't drink. When I was around 9 my grandmother told me that my hair was far too nice to wear a hat. I probably haven't warn a hat 200 days since then including those cold Indiana winters in the U.S.. This talk reinforces for me how valuable lessons are at that age. If I ever have little ones I will understand how important it is to deal with them sweetly and help them build very good habits & self-esteem.

what a beautiful human being! one of the very best TED talks I've ever seen.

Loved the talk. The earliest onset of anxiety I had was when my parents sent me on a plane with my grandparents because they struggled to care for me. I woke up in the middle of the night screaming with tears in an unknown place. It wasn't the only thing but it's strange that this thing I hardly remember still affects me in having deep relationships with people in fear people will leave and there will be disappointment. I too, struggled with accepting love from others.

She was amazing. I hope she feels the love!!

I've managed to link my anxiety and depression back to when I was around the age of 10, or just before. I was 18 before I started even looking to get help with anything, and I'm 24 now and still struggling to get any help. I live in the UK. I am also volunteering at a high school in the art classroom one day a week, as I'm hoping it might help me in some way to maybe go into something involving mental health of teens and young adults, even if I just become someone who they can talk to when they need someone.

she has such a big heart and is so honest with her emotions. I also love, LOVE her voice/accent XD

The video proves , everyone is not immune, not even the speaker, we all have life demons. A really genuine, empathetic person. Good video.

one of the best talks i've seen. really insightful even as a student of psychology and she's a great presenter!! i really admire her last point about talking to children early. as someone with my own history of child abuse, i didn't know what was happening to me i just knew it was wrong and maybe if teachers and other adults were more open about talking with us one on one, perhaps my later problems in life wouldn't be here.

This was an incredible video. PLEASE, make more, you have so much insight to share. *hug*

God so loved 💓 you, Dr Jee! And I thank God for you and praying for you! You are a blessing! 👏👏👏🙋💕

Raw and authentic! Thank you for seeing!

I really like your speech a lot, Thanks for this. I have similar problem. Now i'm social worker. I've been working on my anxiety. When things are ok, I'm confident but when things get hard like being corrected by boss or authority figures, I start be anxious and despair. Feeling so hurt inside, just go back quickly to the old me. I really support your cause. I'm from Cambodia.

ADORE this woman for a opn hearted intelligent important contribution - x

I just started watching ted talks... I’m so grateful I stumbled across this channel

This is an excellent talk. I am an anxious person and currently in a very unhealthy place. However, you cannot completely eradicate fear since it can also occur at sporadic moments.

In my respectful heartfelt thanks to Dr. Kim: As a social political refugee from Vietnam since 2/1979 who have suffered too many painful events in life, I do thoroughly understand the values of your research. Thirty six of Services to Consumers with physical and mental limitations for employment in the USA, today enjoy your lecture, I cannot not hold my happy tears because you have done good job which reminded me what I have done now, unpaid. I would suggest if you have a chance, please share your knowledge with Vietnamese & Chinese Youths (I did lectures in Peking University 2010 which strongly impressed to students there).

Thank you for sharing techniques to overcome fear. This topic is more serious than people realize.

And of course, great talk..!! It shows that she cares about this seemingly impossible issue to grasp, while other doctors would just prescribe medications or something along those lines..

thank U Dr. Kim for shining a light on the reality of Anxiety disorders ... health & happiness to yr. journies

this girl is so right

'children might think nobody loves them, that's wrong but they have good reason to answer why they think like this..' that make my dayyy

Beautiful amazing impressive soul. Inspiring. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.

Sorry to be offtopic, but boy is Dr. Kim ever so gentle and sweet. Easily one of the most adorable, endearing women I've ever laid eyes on.

Wonderfully effective and educated speaker! Thanks, Dr.Kim.

Hello Jee, Your speech was so amazing! after listening I feel like my anxiety has gooooooone:)

What a wonderful discussion! Clearly spoken and very motivational. Thank you.

I love talks from the heart. Well done!

Jee, a very important topic. Very brave of you to include your own life examples. Makes it meaningful to the audience.

Very informative Dr Kim...please share some more of the webinars on how to deal and come out of anxiety...

This is a subject of study that I find very interesting. The message that she is trying to get across really is very critical.

Amazingly interesting, totally relatable.... wonderfully spoken and presented.

I have PTSD from the war. This video hit me.

this is something that society needs to pay much attention to

estoy Muy Orgullosa de Ti Querida Jee

one of my favorite Ted Talks ever. Brilliant.

One of the best explanations of PTSD etc.

Thanks for sharing Dr. Kim. Bless you.

강연 잘 봤어요 박사님. 감사합니다 😢

I loved this Dr so much, she felt very sweet and attractive in a very intellectual way, I loved the speech.

Such an insightful talk, I can relate so much of this!

That was a great talk. Thank you for sharing with us the importance of getting help early

Pure grace! Love you are!

Thank you much for this "talk" Dr... Thank you.

Thank you for your video. On a totally separate note (and not directed towards you), I feel so bad for little Albert! That experiment you described is so cruel! I hope that sort of thing isn’t done any longer. Poor little kid,

i wish this was already happening when i was born...and was common knowledge to all the parents around the world...as if we were born with this knowledge...life would be a lot more easier

Very sincere talk. with growing populations mental health experts are needed more and more, I personally think all Physical Education teachers should have a basic understanding psychology and counseling.

Fear is normal and will always be there. You can't run away from it. However, you can learn how to deal with it.

love the talk

I did a playback just to hear her laughter... so sweet.

Sorry dr jee, u are totally right

I already knew I wasn't the only person on earth with an anxiety disorder, but now I'm even happier knowing I'm not the only person with a strong positive association to cigarette smoke despite never having smoked!

God.. the end got me in tears.. I didn't know there was someone else in the world who felt the same as I do when the crisis comes.. well thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one. And you look so cute btw. :'(

I wish I had seen it one year ago so I could have helped someone I used to love.. She still is in struggle with this, and her childhood relates so much to the last story Dr Kim tells about her childhood and not believing in Love cuz she didn't get it as a child. And I totally agree with people here saying parents should be taught those stuff. We sometime say there should be a licence to give birth! ^^ Now she just wouldn't talk to me anymore as she convinced herself I was the one making her suffer when I was just caring and trying to open her eyes to the beauty of life! Now I understand better the depth of her trouble. Hopefully she'll meet someone one day, hopefully people like Dr. Kim will keep on fighting those terrible demons.

Very brave speech :)

Please bring Dr Jee back and can I get to see her talk in Melbourne? Please and thank you ya

love this already, links to what ive been learning at A level psychology

Beautiful message.

Wow I really appreciated this video. This topic was right on point, and the speaker was amazing!

Thank you so much :)

Great advice thank you. Everyone of us should be a Councillor, sensitive to people around. And then when we are in need of someone to talk to, then we will find a Councillor within reach :)

You help me to understand my daughter, thank you.

I think it's more important to teach parents how to talk to their kids and not at their kids. I could have used a parent who wanted to know how I felt or thought about something, instead of your the child I'm the adult and you're young and you'll get over it!

incredible speech.

I totally feel for her. I got bullied when I was in my kindergarten at age 4or5 and I became very introverted and shy. I got bullied again when I was in elementary school as a result of helping my friend who got bullied. and now iam 35 and now Iam fine with socializing but whenever I have a hard time, it comes up again and I cry alot. (I rarely cry. )

I like the Korean-Australian accent. Such a powerful message at the end.

I was taught to embrace fear. Master it. Control it. You try to live without it. But I was born in it. I didn't see Hope until I was already a man, by then, I didn't need it.

This should be titled "Living with Fear"

Don't anyone take this to mean "if you're older, exposure therapy doesn't work." Because it obviously does, it just may take a little more effort, and as she said, is more "fragile." Which means that you may need tune-ups every once in a good while if your particular anxiety was strong enough. And you may need to be a little more extensive in your exposure than one single session. But take it from someone with experience, I have seen many elderly ones permanently conquer even the most severe anxiety with exposure therapy alone. (of course, there is more help available than just exposure therapy though)

Thanks Dr Kim I will.

That’s it !! I don’t have any fears or trauma... I’ve never smoked before , but I’ve decided to schedule therapy with you & start smoking in your presence ... Would that create temporary happiness for you ? You definitely deserve it ...

Such a beautiful talk ❤️

Great talk Dr. Kim

Thank you

I used to be anxious doing certain things, but now i'm anxious and scared 24/7 and even with meds, it's just constant.

I was thinking... 'Man, she looks super-nervous on stage. The presentation, as useful as it is, seems over-rehearsed as well and not natural at all' ... By the end of the speech I realized she was suffering as a child the same issues she's addressing on stage. Now I can't deny that she really knows the subject matter, not only at an intellectual level but at an emotional level as well.

Creates confidence in life

Amazing talk!!

What a great speech. Humour, humanity, feeling and logic combined beautifully.

This would also probably explain why women are more likely to be anxious as compared to men.. more often than not mothers are close to sons while fathers are close to daughters. Since in most families mothers are the primary care givers, young girls probably feel (even though they may not be able to articulate it) being not loved at par with their brother(s). In many countries girls are also more likely to be discriminated against. Thanks for this great talk!

thanks jee I still get bullied at my age 48 , I tend to quash it with agressive reaction ,and still carry the pain as I feel for others , social behaviour for this type of abuse is still very strong thru out time , do you think this ad hock bad behaving is also a thing from child hood programing as a simple expansive child brain .and where you believe the mind starts to form its awareness as to this and many issues. .great speech .

Wonder Woman, Dr Jee Hyun Kim.