Its so nice you have a great amount of support. I can tell you going through this virtually alone, is nearly as hard as dealing with the cancer. I have not even had a moment to sit and really cry and and feel any sort of comfort. Anyone i try to speak to just says, just stay positive, your strong, you will be ok, stop being negative. You worry too much. Just once i wish someone could see my pain and terror and hug me and let me get it out of my system. im being treated like im going to have a mole removed. I dont think i even remember what its like to be shown any sort of compassion. Well except when i met my surgeon 2 weeks ago. I did not even get to ask him anything i wanted to know. He said how old are you? I told him, he says sadly you are too young for this. I burst into tears and my brain melted. He handed me tissue and off i went, not knowing anymore than i did before i went in. I go for my operation on this monday and im terrified. And i have never felt so alone in my life. I have this overwhelming feeling of dread. My life is at a state now that sometimes i feel like maybe its better if i do not wake up. Wow i just realized you posted 6 years ago. I hope you are doing better and living your best life.
Hi… I’m so very sorry you’re going through this alone, I know how totally lucky and blessed I am to have had people around me for my whole cancer journey. I can tell you that I truly do understand your terror, and I know it’s no great compensation but having cancer made me feel utterly alone too, even with family around me. I think this is something that people feel a lot - unless you know someone with the same cancer/stage, it can be a very lonely place, even surrounded by support. It is OKAY to be terrified, angry, depressed, worried, you need to just feel everything in whatever way it comes out. Having had stage 4 cancer for a lot of years I know how it feels to think you’re going to die. It’s effed up and feels like nobody understands how it really feels. I did a LOT of soul searching, a lot of writing, art, crying, screaming, anything that helped me in the moment. Just do what feels right, and allow yourself to grieve. It’s NOT ok that you have cancer, it’s NEVER ok for ANYONE to have cancer, it’s completely messed up and it feels like our body has totally let us down. It’s not fair and it’s not right. All we can do is come to some sort of begrudging acceptance, and hope that fate, god, the universe, will look after us. If you are strong enough to think positively then more power to you. I’ve been able to do that because the alternative was too dark to comprehend. I also struggled with feelings of wanting it all just to end. You’re not alone in that. And you’re not alone, there are so many of us who know exactly what you’re feeling… much love x
@Shecat1964 So sorry you have to face this terror alone darling. Sending you a virtual hug is the best I can do unfortunately and pray for you things will improve and the dread of these traumatic experiences will subside. I know time heals eventually but you never really recover from this deep feeling of abandonment. You deserve a mountaintop too and let your rage and grief out. It’s too hard moving on when dragging a sh*tload of resentment. Blessed Be 🤗
I’m here to echo @joenisnapje712’s comment. It’s been 2 months since you left your comment, I really hope that things are going as well as possible for you. I hope you’ve been able to let your grief out and that someone is there for you. Sending love and light to you xx
Hi Jo, I wish you a speedy recovery. I just had my left lower lobe removed ( stage 1 cancer) 27 days ago. I'm still having pain from nerve damage & a small mass above the incision. Had an ultra sound & the Doctor says its caused from sewing the muscle & tendon back together & it will finally go away, however the bulge will always be there, but will decrease in size. I'm finally able to lie back on it by using a soft pillow as sleeping on a recliner is the most comfortable for me. I'm off the oxycodone as I can manage without it. I'm walking close to 5 miles each day which really helps out with the nerve pain. I'm 75 years old & getting along very well for my age. Best wishes to you always. Lloyd
@@GotStomaVlogostomy Thank you for your reply & hope you have made a great recovery. I just had a one half dose radiation CT scan on Jan 5 2023 & there is no alert. So I'm very thankful for the good news. I'm now 79 years old & active in working around our home. Some days I just wear out and have to take a nap in the afternoons. It seems like if I put in a hard day of labor the next day it catches up with me & I'm so tired it is impossible to do any thing but take a nap. My wife has heart disease & had 2 stents put in her arteries to her heart. A blockage of 80 % & 85%. It keeps me busy taking her to cardiac rehab 3 days a week. She has a worn out knee & didn't pass the EKG test before the scheduled surgery. So now it will be 6 months before the heart Doctor will consider getting her knee joint replaced. the old saying that getting old isn't for sissies really rings true for Judy & I. Any way just wanted to wish you the very best & hope life goes well for you. I really enjoy your accent. My ancestors lived in Sweden & then Germany. We have the local accent for our area. Take care & may God always send his Blessings your way. Lloyd & Judy
Hi again Lloyd ☺️ and of course Judy!☺️👋 I remember my surgeon telling my family that it will take a really long time to fully recover, as far as exhaustion and weakness goes. I still get very tired out and have to take a day or more to recover if I’m busy. So yes, I completely understand that. It sounds like you have a full life, which is wonderful! I hope your wife gets her surgery, my mum is currently waiting for a knee replacement, it’s a grind… Take care 🥰
@@GotStomaVlogostomy Hi Jo. Judy & I just wanted you to know things are going well for us. My last CT scan showed a spot in my upper right lung about 5/16th of an inch. So my Doctor at the VA scheduled a PET scan. A injection of radioactive fluid administered then a 50 minute wait before the scan. I got blessed with it indicating no cancer. It is just some accumulated fluid. I talk to my oncologisist May 3 2024 & she will tell me more details. My Dr. at the VA says she is going to schedule a CT scan for me every 6 months, which I happy to do. Better to be safe than sorry. We pray you are still doing well. Judy got her knee relplacement July 6th 2023 & it is so great to see her walk once again.. We hope your Mom got her knee replacement & is up walking on it. We send our very best wishes to you & your family & may God always Bless & look out for you. Till next time sending love & prayers. Lloyd & Judy😃😍🐱
@@bentcrank21 Hey Lloyd, wonderful to hear from you! It sounds as though things are going really well for you and Judy 🥰 Thank god there was no cancer in your lung 🙏 A 6 monthly scan sounds a great idea, it will keep your mind at ease and just allow you to breathe, knowing they’re looking after you. Today’s technology is so good. I had a PET scan all those years ago, it’s quite the experience. Fabulous news to hear Judy is walking now! Things are looking great for you guys ☺️ 💖 So amazing. I’m doing very well thank you, no cancer signs at all. It really is a blessing…. Give my love to Judy, and take care of each other, you’re very blessed to have one another, as are my hubby Jay and I 🥰 All the very very best!xxx
Hey Jo it's good to see your face! Thanks for the update lots of thoughts still coming your way for your recovery and for the amazing upcoming trip! I hope you show us how amazing it is up on that mountain you deserve it!
Aw, thanks Mary & Kerri, It's good to see your lovely Kitty picture, I might be a wolf lady but I'm a cat lady too :) I will definitely be taking lots (hundreds) of photos and maybe a few videos in Austria! And thank you, I don't know about deserve, but I'm certainly blessed to have been given such an amazing gift
Your vlog is amazing it was informative and so whitty as well, I had a lobectomy three months ago and can relate to everything you have said good on you.
Hiya, yes I’m not surprised you’re nervous, it’s a daunting thing to go through. But it is a quite simple procedure and you’ll be in great hands. Good luck with everything, sending positive vibes to you ☺️
Thank you for sharing! So glad to see you are well (if well is that right word to use.... "Okay" is maybe a better way to put it.) I hope you had an awesome trip to Austria if you have already gone, or if not, then have a great trip!
Hi Katheryne, great to meet you... I did have an amazing trip to Austria, thank you, it was all I imagined and more! I'll leave a reply to your other comment :)
Great to see your beautiful face back in video! So happy that you are doing ok with your recovery. Congrats on the trip. That will be very cool. I would love to read your memoirs, but I am not a critic, a very slow reader, and in this case, biased. Maybe you vlog them, don't know if that will work. Love the song. Is that you singing?
Hey Lills! Ah, thank you! Always great to hear from you and hope you are well :) Yes, I can't WAIT to go to Austria, so so excited!!! Well if you can be an honest and critical critic you're most welcome to have a read of a couple of chapters...? And finally, yes that's my song in the background, I wrote so many songs 9 or 10 years ago and recorded (badly!) a few, the one on my hospital going home video is mine too :) I just thought, hey, you know what, I've got incurable cancer, I'm just gonna put them out there in my personal videos...Eek! That's very uninhibited for me! xx
I would love to, but I can't promise, as it depends on how I feel physically, you know. I can give you my email, but don't want to type it here and don't know how to do it privately. I wanted to ask you why you are not being treated with chemo. You don't have to answer, if you don't feel like it. I personally can't talk about my illness, for reasons I don't understand, just can't. So I totally understand if you're not up for it.
Lills, are you on Facebook? My page is Got Stoma? Vlogostomy, we can message privately there...and I totally understand that you can't talk about your illness, I absolutely Get It. As for the chemo, my oncologist says that she wants to leave it until it's absolutely necessary, as there are only so many regimes that could work for rectal cancer. She said at the moment it would be like firing a bazooka at a small target, pointless...leave it until it might do some help, otherwise if I become riddled with tumours, it won't do anything to help. Does that make sense? Hopefully...I'll try and send you a message on here, think that might be possible xxx
Lills, I can't find a way of messaging you on here, I'm thinking my profile might be the same, I'll go into my settings and try to make messaging available...xx
Hey, sorry for the late reply! 🥰 Yes, I’m post-op 6 years and still my side is numb, I think once the nerves are severed they don’t repair themselves. It’s a weird sensation, right?
Hi Jim from Colorado U.S.A. I may have this problem done to me?? Have some sort of crystal things in rt.lung. had a D.V.T. AND PE.in rt lower lobe. WHEN I WAS IN ICU. At local hospital was the healthiest person my nurse was taking care of. In 2014. Thanks 4 your chat.
Hi 👋 Jo. Agree with Lills that u r loooking beeeyoootiful. Ur hair looks like Kate Middleton ( ok, so hers so tooo perfect thanks to her half dozen coddling stylists). Love the background....u at the queen's residence? ;). Oh my about the failed epidural!!??? How can anyone screw that up!? What is up with NHS? Arrrgh. Oh my... I can't imagine how it would feel to have a stoma 'clogged up' . Dignity? At least we are dignified cause we hold onto our 'belly hole' compared to poking and probing in between a thick rearside. Lol. ;). Seems like ur recovery has been good despite those setbacks and that strange numbing. Hopefully the sensation will return soon (kind of like the loss of sensation to pee after stoma surgery). Take care my friend til next time
Hey Madie, why thank you! I don't know about beautiful but I'll accept the compliment, hee! I am indeed at Queen Lizzie's home...I wish, ha! And yes, I think a lot of epidurals don't work properly for one reason or another, at least the nurses were quick to help me when mine failed...took about an hour for the morphine to kick in, but it did eventually... I suppose you're right actually, at least it was my belly-hole and not the rear end, ha! Very funny :D And oh my! The loss of peeing ability after stoma surgery, I won't even go into that, horrible horrible...Yuk!xx
I had colon resection in 2017 now one cancer node in lung, getting a lobectomy soon. I wonder if its related? Its been there 3 years but dr didnt think it was cancer. 🥺
Hi June, I dont know about if it is related however I will be having a lobectomy in a few weeks and also dont know if it is cancer....I am just worrying as I am sure you are also....good luck to both of us !!!
I’m sorry to hear that… If it’s not being controlled by painkillers maybe talk to your nurse about it, they should be able to help and put your mind at rest… thanks for watching ☺️☺️
