Loneliness and the Illusion of Connection | Thich Nhat Hanh, 2012.12.13 

I have ALWAYS felt something was wrong with me (esp. because I have been told such) for Loving being alone. I feel connection with others harms my relationship with myself. I feel the best when I am with me, alone. My mother and others have told me I never liked being around people. So, I put myself in a career that surrounded me with people and I eventually went crazy. I now hide on the shores of Lake Superior, have few friends and live a nature centered life. I am very happy.

Being lonely is an opportunity never a loss! I only feel the loneliness when I'm around people I don't belong with.

I have felt more lonely with all the technology we now have than before we had it. I recently deleted all my social media platforms because I could see the addiction of it all, the emptiness of it all. I would rather go for a walk in a park than sitting on my couch looking at Facebook. I would rather talk to a few people who genuinely care than have 800 friends on social media who just look at my pictures and give them a like.

I was sitting out back in the sun, looking at the ever increasing ageing wrinkles on the back of my hands, feeling sad, feeling alone. Listening to these words now. Thank you for reminding me that everything is okay. Right now, as it is, it's okay. Thank you.

There are so many people who are longing for a partner, beautiful empathic people. I wish they find each other❤️

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My dear, loneliness, I know you are there. I hope to take care of you. And you make peace with your loneliness. You make peace with your fear. There is a wounded child in you. You recognize her. You recognize him. And you embrace him, her. Tenderly in your arms. That is the act of going H O M E and taking care of H O M E."

Loneliness is my old friend. I like being alone. It's protection of my energy.

Very powerful talk! Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but it’s because you lose connection with yourself. “We are lonely together”! Thank you Thay 🙏

I remember one night in my life where I felt so undone by grief, put my daughter to bed, sat on the settee in my living room and sobbed like a child and said to god "I want to go home" I didn't know what i meant by it or were home was, I just wanted to whisper it out loud. Hearing your words here made me smile. Thank you Thich Nhat HanhI, I think i know what i meant now. and now know how to get there.

"How can you connect with another person if you cannot connect with yourself?"

I feel like being alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely. I feel more lonely when im surrounded by those who do not understand me. I feel lonely when I allow my monkey mind to take over. I also feel lonely when I do not feel able 🙌🙌 I absolutely adore this Channel & all the teachings. I hope one day my journey takes me to Plum Village that would be a dream come true 😍

Thank you Sir 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I lost my beautiful wife to cancer at a young age few months back . Growing up I was always comfortable being alone but this loss had shaken me and I was afraid of loneliness . This teaching helped me to go back to my home ( loneliness) be safe in it 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

What I found helps me is from time to time just sitting down with the intention to not do anything for 15 minutes. After a short while my mind will start to wander and produce interesting ideas and a want to act. But I simply say no and continue sitting until my wish to act is so strong that I smile and say yes and go do it. Enjoy.

I think Thay in this video gives great insight on how “knowing yourself” can protect you from being sucked into co-dependency and form relationships of mutual respect for the other’s identity.

Ever since I was young when ever i was so sad n lonely i went to a river or forest and just sat there in the quietness with myself and i pray

Thay speaks to my heart and soothes it. He has moved on, but he is still here for us. We can connect with him through his books and dharma talks. He nurtured so many people who will continue to spread his wisdom at Plum Village and throughout the world. What a blessing he was and continues to be.

"I have but one true friend, and he lives deep within me " A. Lincoln.

“Yes, it is a mess, and I accept it.” Thank you so much ❤️

I love walking meditation. Time in nature is bliss. I enjoy walking with my husband, but walking alone, without speaking, is another level.

This is great. I was just journaling about how much suffering I cause myself because I’m rarely present. Always having imaginary arguments in my head. Coming home through breath. 💕 yes. Opening my heart to now.

'Be a home for yourself, be an island for yourself' I love this thought, I see myself in a little boat rowing to a beautiful Scottish island with treesfull of birds and a shore with the waves lapping and the wind blowing gently in the trees. Love is there, love is here~ all around us ❤️✨.. in gratitude 🙏

“We are lonely together” I have always felt alone and no one no lover,relationship, friendship has ever proven itself to extinguish that feeling ..I don’t know if all of this evolved in me or I took pieces from the world and constructed myself that way , but It’s never changed and in my 7th decade of life I have decided to embrace this me , this little creation , spending time in this way for now That’s all there is

I love and have great respect for this beautiful Monk. His wisdom and compassion inspires me. I have been meditating daily for 18 years. It gives me great inner strength. The Way of the Bodhisattva is an inspiring book. Thank you.

Being home is the loneliest thing I can think of. When you lose the love of your life, home is never the same.

All my life I have always tried to connect with human life and I never felt any amount of satisfaction, but when I lost everyone and what I thought at the time everything I began to meditate. That's when I began to feel alive. I love to connect with myself. Like Thay said, how can you connect with someone else, if you can't connect with yourself. Wow! I see through a different lens and this made so much sense. This should be taught in all schools. Thank you Master Teacher.

In a journey of extreme loneliness & despair, with my compass set to spiritual reprieve for the sake of survival ... it dawned on me that 'alone' is only one stroke away from 'all one'. By surrendering into loneliness, boundaries & concepts of separateness dissolved, & I found myself embraced by Divinity .. in the arms of God. Alone - All One

For the last two years, I have loved being alone and waited for this...I can tell you it is possible to love being alone. It only happened later to me, after I was 49, but when it happened it was a miracle I cannot stop talking about it! I cannot believe such peace and solitude and happiness existed~ pls believe me it does!

Someone asked me recently if I could be anywhere in the world, where would that be? I answered “another planet,” but a short time later Plum Village came spontaneously to mind. Somehow I knew it would be a truly calm and safe place. This was a couple of weeks before this lovely man passed. I knew about him over the years, of course, and admired him greatly. But it is only now that he is gone in the material realm that I realize he is the spiritual “teacher” I have finally found at age 74 and a lifetime of spiritual seeking. His authentic beauty, the simplicity of his teaching, his sweetness, is touching me so deeply now. I listen to his meditations, watch his videos, etc. everyday because what he says and how he says it is all I need to hear to come “home” to myself.

Sobbing while listening to this. Been breaking down every day lately, no real idea what triggers it, just allowing it to happen. Ironic that it's my 'distractive - connection machine'- my laptop that has brought me here to such a beautiful homecoming guide. Then my mind recalls a wonderful discussion between this beautiful monk and Ram Das. who asks "how is there a 'connect with self' when there is in Buddhism also a 'no self'?" Don't worry about that question, heart says it will resolve the more we let go to presence.

I used to hate being alone or at least hate the idea of what being alone meant. I’ve grown to love alone time with myself. The release of pressure, the distance from external, the self awareness is so fulfilling. People are always telling me I should be aiming to be with someone or asking me why I don’t want to be surrounded by people. It’s hard for me to explain but it’s just a sense of pure release. And now I’m practicing to know myself better.

Stay connected to disconnection .that’s what technology has brought us .

This message has come at the right time 😃

“The practice of going home to help heal ourself and heal the world”

His voice gets me every time❤ I know he's resting in peace.

“We are lonely together.” I have never heard it put that was!

Wow , this is synchronicity, woke up 3 am had a up and down week. Looked on why keep waking early morning one source said prayed for direction So I did that and when back to sleep. Woke up made coffee went back bed thought check RU-vid for insight and this was first video on my page. I know all the issues from psychological perspective but thank universe help me see succinctly simplicity of life amen

I have a feeling this man went down the journey of loneliness and found himself. I love his book the art of communication it really helps me understand and empathize with the suffering of others and myself.

At times we need to stand alone being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely learn to like your own company and you will never be lonely

I learned the power of solitude in an American "monastery" for ten years. Returning to the "dunya", world of suffering outside of the "monastery", left me feeling the need to reintegrate with people who had not been forced to look within. I'm grateful to hear this message of reconnecting to self instead of trying, feverishly, to connect with a disconnected social structure. I'm going back inside, y'all.

Honestly, I never feel alone when I am by myself. I can feel the energies of the universe and myself when I am alone. I feel more full than when I am around other humans. Animals and children are ok, though....

Just beautiful! He's always alive in our hearts ❤

Thich Nhat Hanh seemed like such a tender and sweet person. I love listening to his talks, because his voice is soothing and helps connect me to these concepts.

His voice healing that’s beautiful thanks for this moment 😊

Being alone and being lonely are separate things. You can be alone but enriched by self love and connection with the Earth around. Loneliness is a terrible burden we feed often; it can bring jealousy, depression, self loathing etc, it is a yearning for something we do not have. Connection comes in many forms. I have spent a life time looking for friendship. Only now am I learning that it starts from within. Once I am able to accept myself, including my faults, then I am ready to take the next step. And if I meet others on my journey, then that is wonderful. If I do not, then I am still on a journey, and that has endless beautiful experiences.

This is the teaching that changed my life and my view An amazing teacher, mentor, a living BUDDHA live on 🙏🏿

I really needed to hear this. Reaffirms my decision too to delete my Facebook account. So tired of so much waste of energy with useless “connections” and “friends” that truly don’t mean a thing. I am lonely and do need to find my way back home….I know it’s a mess but I’m willing to fight for it back. 🙏🏾🕉🙏🏾

Years of this kind of teaching has helped me.... Brother James 🙏

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." Jean-Paul Sartre

“Togetherness” is but a distraction from aloneness. Loneliness persists until we see that we are one.

I feel that I am the best version of myself when I am alone. The majority of people annoy me immensely. I am alone, but not lonely.

How can you not respond with love to this teaching. His gentleness is so powerful 🙏

This talk is so loving and powerful, all therapists would benefit from hearing and practicing, in order to best help others

"Be an island unto yourself..." that is a great way to explain it.

The heart sutra is beneficial for us to detach the physical self from the illusion world and let us come back to our source. We keep going out, extending out to find, that why we feel lonely, yet everything is within us. No need to find externally. We can be alone but not lonely.

I only experience loneliness when I’m surrounded by others. When I’m alone I feel amazing and most like myself.

Wow, beautiful. When you are at home with yourself, this will be reflected on to others which will guide them to be at home within themselves. And as a result, we have a beautiful collective society aka 'home' where acceptance, non-violence, compassion and peace is all around. “As large as the universe outside, even so large is the universe within the lotus of the heart. Within it are heaven and earth, the sun, the moon, the lightning, and all the stars. What is in the macrocosm is in this microcosm.“ -The Upanishads

I think this is a beautiful talk. I would not be able to listen to it without technology.

This is what they should teach in the schools! How to connect with oneself and the Field!! How to reach heart coherence and stay there as long as possible. Ah Thich Nhat Hanh, thank you for your beautiful graceful life.

Breathing in, I know that I am alive. Breathing out, I send the joy of this moment to the world.

I work in nursing homes and many residents are on medications for depression. If only they could hear and receive this transforming teaching from Thay.

I needed this right now I have a large problem being alone I was in a people business for many years surrounded by many people every day and now that I am much older and almost retired I find myself alone much more and I have a big problem with that I need to learn how to be by myself and like it

This is a truly a wonderful talk I am in awe of this Man He is a wise and wonderful asset to the world The world would be a happier more peaceful place for us all if only people will listen and hear THANK YOU WONDERFUL TEACHER

We all, every ONE of "us" experience and want the same things. We are all members of ONE body. One consciousness. There is only ONE of "us". You are not the thoughts, you are not the mind, or the body. Don't believe mortal mind trickery. Love is everywhere. You are the Love you crave.

" It is a mess , yes but i accept it " Love you thay Love you so much ❤😊🙏🌺

I am at home, but it is not peaceful...I'm feeling quite lost in this troubled world. I live with gratitude for all I have been given...it's the energy and drive to find purpose and meaning...a passion if you will.... it is the lacking of no family or friend connections that come with age as people go their own ways in life....Spring is around the corner, this brings me hope. Sending out Prayers For All's Highest Good~~

OMG I feel this in My ♥️😭. My God, I feel this in Me ♥️😭. I feel lonely... I need to hug and connect with myself. Yes... Sometimes, we seek to fill that void with technology, but it is useless. The answer is inside.

“The way out is the way in”. What a beautiful man! What a blessing to many he has been❣️

This is truly Sun Light for alll of us... thank you blessed Master for all your teachings 🙏🌸!

When I realized that it's not ME who is lonely, but that the body itself is lonely, I gained strength. The body has need for contact. Do not mistake your body for your self.

I do need my cell phone to watch your teaching. Thank you 🙏

The teachings of the buddha are eternal. The teachings of zen master Thich Nhat Han are still present. Maha karuna 🙏🏼

One of the great spirits of our time.

Deepest thanks ever dearest Thich Nhat Than you are my ever teacher to be

Tears, this guy is so real, no words.

Thanks to RU-vid founder for this kind of wisdom. I'm Christian but I love this kind of Buddhist teaching

he is love...I feel peace just listening to him

Thank you for caring enough to take the time to teach us.... Thank you for teaching the truth.. Much love and gratitude from me to you Sir...

What's worse than being alone, is being surrounded by people who don't understand you. People who you would like to connect with, but you can't because you're unable to relate to them.

I am reminded of the idea - perhaps they are the same thing - that you cannot love another until you love yourself. And ultimately of the concept - in the larger model that is drawn - of "true love". Thank you, anyway, for another beautiful and inspiring video.

This is truly a conversation with us by a wise guide. Thay’s reference to the vacuum within us even when we are with another person is giving me the link to why I have - probably my whole life- felt this way. And by mention of the body of breath lungs and lungs being what makes us at home in our body brings me back to remembering how it was that my sister who had polio and had to frog breath to force her lungs to work so she could breathe to talk. Was a miracle.

Hi Thich Nhat Hanh! Wherever you are, I always think on you and thank you for all the teachings you gave us, gave me. Mindfulness and compassion have helped me a lot during my journey in this world. I feel much more calm and happy since I began to listen to you and follow your wise advices. Namastê!!!🙌❤

Absolute truth and I am glad I awoke to this understanding so many years ago as I now watch the social media platforms (TikTok, FB, IG, etc…) and the mockery of connection and love on display every second of every day.

I am surrounded by people who never really see me. I am all I have, and I'm learning to be okay with it.

Technology has hypothesized us and we need to set ourselves free

As I watch this video what arises in me are feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. I am filled with terror and grief and rage.

Am just watching this one. And thanks to Tich Nhat Hanh in this very message for the people. Telling the people of the messages known from Buddhist times and being open and kind to all people. Maybe someday we can meet. That is not reaching out from loneliness but sometimes positve directions can occur.

What a wonderful human being. I've tried so hard all my life to be a better soul.. I'm still trying. I'm still searching. I'll go on and on to search. I only know that I do not know. 🌷 Joy and bliss for all of you 🌸

Oh, when I saw this in my recommendations, I was delighted, but then I saw that this video is from 2012, so I went to the Plum Village site for an update - as I had not checked for a while - and I understand that Thay is still on his journey of recovery. All the best to him and those around him.

living amongst others is stressful and triggering. I believe the main.objective of this life experience is to study ourselves and perhaps learn to accept ourselves in the moment.

Thank you beyond measure for capturing these moments with Thay. Beyond measure.

Thank you so much ❤️

I think people also often mistake the feeling of unmet needs with loneliness. It feels similar, you feel left out, incomplete, agitated, a little sad and a tad of shame/guilt. Shame often because we think we have to meet some standard of happiness or success. Guilt because we feel we are the cause of our own predicament. They go hand in hand.

He is not just my brother, he is one of my heroes and he is missed. I just thought I was tough, this man IS tough in the best way. Comforting a distressed disciple frightened and dying of cancer, "I am frightened brother", to which brother Tich responded, "Yes, but can you sit with me here in peace". I couldn't forget those words if I wanted to now because it says everything about existence in a few words. Only an enlightened Master would chose those words in response to that situation, the perfect words. He's the best.

🙏🏼 🙏🏼 🙏🏼 so grateful to you Thay. The world misses you.

I realized a while ago that my life feels utterly unreal and meaningless to me, including & especially my thoughts, emotions, ideas, goals, etc. I have been so out of touch with myself that even going back inward to myself has felt unreal, painful. But seeing how unreal my experience of life is has made me yearn for something real, although I didn't know what it would be and how it could be possible for me. I don't know if I'll be able to come home to myself as he says, but I have found that, as I'm striving for a real connection, occasionally I am able to find it in observing nature, my dog, my breath, and observing myself not as "me" but simply as just another piece of life, like the trees and my dog and other humans. For me, ironically, I find it much easier to come home to myself, to connect with myself, when I don't think of myself as "me," and instead simply as a human. Only then am I able to see my feelings, loneliness, pain and embrace them, without trying to engage in them, justify them, or get rid of them by thinking. It's like, though my feelings & thoughts aren't someone else's, they are also not "my" feelings & thoughts anymore. However, as he says, it's so easy to forget ourselves when using technology & engaging with the world, and it's been very difficult to even remember to try to find home. Most of the time I feel like I'm just sleep-walking and lost and not even knowing it. Which is why I've decided to create new habits and healthy routines that will serve mindfulness rather than getting me more and more lost.

From São Paulo, Brasil I thank you! I'm reading The Path of Emancipation, It's so Full of light and Love, I thank you great master!!! I thank you ALL here! Send you ALL my best wishes! Great Love and Peace! 🙏❤️❤️ Healing can be found within 🙏 It's not a theory, It's a practice!

Just like when a song comes on the radio that we love but then we don't pay attention to it and before we know it, the song has passed and we wish we would have taken the time to sing along and feel it's joy. Our lives are the very same. It's the whole essence of be here now. See what you are seeing now instead of the thoughts/images in your head. Be your own very best friend and be your own family. Love yourself with all your heart in the same way as you would love your child and your parent. To lay on your death bed knowing that you spent every moment immersed in your reality and all the joys and sorrows of it and that, Good or Bad, you didn't miss a thing😅, Oh Yeah. Peace to you all and my dearest wishes for a calm and kind day to you all and my heart felt pain and love for those who are truly suffering😥.

It hit the point within the first minute and a half...awsome when shunya or pure supreme love speaks...direct...truthful...graceful and blissful. Aum Thx 4 this ❤

Truly warming 🙏❤️ an extended explanation to the “Bell chant - end of suffering” such a wonderful teacher. 🙏❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️