It's really good hearing from you again. Just tell us what's going on with you, what's on your mind, how has your life been, even if it seems dull or repetitive it doesn't matter. Just glad you're hanging in there during these difficult times.
You look and sound great, but we enjoy your videos and we need you and you really do such a great job. You are never truely alone you have your audiance. You are loved
There's so many beautiful things about this man that he can't see because of his illnesses💔 He's a wonderful loving carrying man. We can see it. You do have feelings you do feel you do love. Your just afraid. There's someone out there for you but u won't find them in that room. Love and peace glad to see you still hanging in there.
Hey man. I don't know if you'll read this, but here's a video series idea: Try doing something you wouldn't normally enjoy doing, but that you would see yourself doing if you were in a happier place (esp in regards to society). That could be meeting up with other people, joining a help group for young people with similar kinds of illnesses, or even just spending a day at the library. Rn there's covid so i guess online stuff is better. Then, comment what you thought of the experience in a video. It could help with the loneliness, even if you hated whatever you tried, just for the fact that you shared it and got it off your chest, helping us understand your struggle. And ofc you'll know that we're all rooting for you. Hang in there man! You're cool :)
I feel you . Relate to the lack of motivation I'm the same. I wouldn't have said I was depressed until I was forced to look at the lack of milestones and desires in my late 30s . I have been going through therapy and medicine but when I look at the effect and life nothing has really changed.
I've recently developed schizophrenia. In the last 2-3 years. All of my friends have left me. I enjoy staying in my room and raising my kids. Have been watching you even before I knew that I was schizophrenic for sure. I love to see from you!
I feel the same way as well, I feel disappointed in myself because I can't seem to make friends. The mind is a scary thing once you have let it take control of you... You make me want to make videos again , this is very inspiring and honest i love that :)
I went through the same thing when I was your age. It lasted me about 10 years. I was glad I finally broke out of it. I can relate to every word you said. I didn’t have a cat to comfort me though. Not pun intended because I love animals so I think having a pet would’ve helped me. You and Kitty stay healthy.
I have mild autism with other long term medical issues. I suffer with severe loneliness and isolation. But I struggle with poor motivation sadly. So, I physically struggle going outside my home and mixing with others. But I get anxious doing nothing, either. Hope you are okz in general. Keep making content dude. 😘😘😘
Trust me, the anxiety of not doing anything is worst than the social anxiety. If you have mild autism, you may have noticed you can get really hooked up and good at something when you like it. Use it to build your social skills. I did that and it really worked
Really glad to see you back Jacob! I’ve been subscribed to your channel for about 6 years now. It’s always been a privilege to watch your videos and hear all your insights on so many things. Take good care of yourself :)
I really needed to see this update today. I have some people in my life rejecting me because I am schizophrenic. I was just at random checking to see if you updated. And now you have. Thanks for being an encouragement.
Eyy Im glad you are back! First of all your videos are not dull nor boring, you help so many ppl just by being relatable. It is really comforting (plus your voice is very calming). Video suggestion: talk about the story of your cat and how much she helps you daily, Id love to see that lol
Thank you so much for "just you talking", it is very valuable to us. Hopefully even for you talking your thoughts out loud. I am a mother to an adult son with similar problems and he having shut all the family out and not sharing anything I feel I get some insight in how he might be experiencing things. You are strong, do not feel you are alone. We are here with you!
I was SO excited to see a notification on top of my screen! I stopped what I was watching and still had to say a prayer so I said a prayer first bc I knew it would be treat to watch your whole video before I sleep! I am a mom of my Ethan who has the same diagnosis! He’s doing well and really inspires me bc I see him keep going and I need to keep going and be a better Mom for him! Ttyl! I gotta let my darn cat in! 😆 love ya
Hey, so glad to see and hear from you again. Appreciate you putting yourself out there as you help me and so many others a lot. Pleased to see Kitty doing well. Remember you are beautifully and wonderfully made and are awesome.
I think you are super cool. I'm just thankful for people who are willing to talk about real life and mental illness, etc. I have bipolar 1, and I don't enjoy having to stay quiet about it all the time, but I have to be, so this is definitely a helpful outlet! Shows me there are some real people out there dealing with the every day too.
I have Schizophrenia wassup champ I watched your videos a few yrs ago when I first got diagnosed your videos assisted me alot hope your doing well hang in there
Glad to see you again, Jacob) your content is not boring at all, people can relate or understand things better which really helps when you have someone around with schizophrenia and want to make them feel better or at least not to make it worse for them. To you, your kitty and everyone here reading this: stay strong and as happy as you can ❤️
I related to alot of this, so I definitely get where you're coming from on things. I'm sorry that you're feeling these things, but you're worthy and important! The mind is a torture trap and the way it hurts those with mental illness, but its not always telling you the truth. Your cat is beautiful and I'm glad they're ok. The amount of love you have for your cat and your cat has for you is super sweet. I hope you get some peace Jacob.
Really good to see you upload, man. I feel you, stuff is pretty shitty right now, but I wish you as much wellness as times like these can give us. Keep on keeping on.
Glad you're back. Your videos are not boring. I have not taken anti-psychotics, but when I used to be on SSRI drugs (I'm borderline), they made me feel less emotions than normal. So maybe it is medication related. This has been a crazy year indeed. Preachers saying its the end times. I don't know what to think. I get scared of the future. On the one hand, I can 100% relate to staying by yourself and avoiding people because nobody can deal with you. On the other hand, I can't relate as much to being OK with it, I do worry about not having people around much. Also relate 100% to loving cats! I have three cats and 2 dogs. They are so fun to hang out with and really improve my quality of life. Friendships with animals are so much easier.
I used to prefer being alone all the time. It took me 6 months to work towards being healthier and honestly I like myself better when I'm able to have conversations with people. The dulled emotions have been a constant thing for me though. I'm never really happy, or sad. Sometimes anger comes out, but usually I don't care. It's kinda frustrating.
Hi, Jacob! Thank you for putting yourself out there with these videos. From what I've read, in the past, your lack of emotion, social drive, motivation etc. -- those are all typical "negative symptoms" of schizophrenia. Those symptoms can manifest themselves in depression, as well, but given your Schizophrenia diagnosis, it probably isn't depression. I think what you felt like from being bullied was depression -- who wouldn't be. I was bullied a lot too -- especially in elementary school & Jr. High. (I've always had really bad ADHD which only got formerly diagnosed when I was 44.) I've been diagnosed with Major Depression 2x in my life. I've had contributing external factors for both. Last year I got diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (and like you, the constant bullying -- plus my home life probably brought the BP2 out). Now I'm on one med -- a mood stabilizer that coincidentally also controls my ADHD really well. I'm glad you have Kitty. Animals are such a blessing in life. (I have 2 cats & a dog.) 💜
Thanks for making another video! I totally relate to what you say in your videos. Keep making videos please. I'm glad your family and your kitty are doing well.
Missed you! I had the same problem when I was on antipsychotics, no drive, passion, emotion, very hopeless. Now I'm on Wellbutrin and and feeling much better.
I just started watching you so im late to the game but i really hope you make a new one soon in the mean time it'll give me a chance to catch up on your past videos, my boyfriend just got diagnosed we've been together now for almost 6 years I knew something was off but schizophrenia wasn't one of them that crossed my mind and listening to you speak its like listening to him speak i just wish he would open up to me more like you can in these videos , Thank you for posting thank you for putting yourself out there i find you truly amazing and helpful.
i would love to hear more about your childhood like when you said you were a really strange kid, i feel i was too, would like to hear more about that please :)
Glad to see you back! Do you think you'd make a video talking about space? a video like that would be very interesting, I've been learning more about it myself. I think what happens in space influences our life on earth.
Damn, identifying with you offers me a modicum of comfort; It feels like I'm reading my journal (other than the Kobe Bryant bit, heh). You help give me a bit of motivation to post videos like yours (though I'll still probably never do it)-- I'm a quite a bit neurotic and shy. I haven't even played my drums in what feel like years and they're literally a few inches from me right now. Peace.
What you're doing is honorable. And I'm so proud of you. I wish to have your courage. Don't be afraid of death, good people don't have to. I would love to hear you talk about astronomy. I wish you the best. PS: Your cat is very cute
Not gonna lie i was kinda worried about you.. So glad you are back i watched all your videos.. When we here talking about the loneliness you are the only person these days that is my company.. Miss you Jacob ♡
Have you ever looked into Schizoid Personality Disorder? The enjoyment of isolation sounds like that. But I also recognize what you said about your paranoid delusions. That is so hard, Jacob. I support you and your experience always.
Hey I just wanna say, I like your videos because they are entertaining. You have a cool personality and I like listening to you talk! And seeing your cat!:)
I’m just now crossing your video. I know it’s years later, but I wanted to comment on your Kobe mention. His death shocked me & fucked me up too. And the timing of it all, it was such a strange time. Still is.
I feel the same as you in a lot of ways brother. Schizophrenia is a horrible thing to deal with. I luckily am on the higher functioning end; I can still keep a job and live independently but I am far from happy. I'd say the part of my brain that this illness effects the most is the social part of my brain. I don't like being around other people nor do I trust other people. That's partly because of this illness but I feel like experiences in my upbringing and trauma from past romantic relationships are the biggest part of it. Meds have mostly helped me with that but I still have minor paranoia usually stemming from a strong distrust of other people. If I come off of meds, distrust of other people is much higher. That's my biggest struggle with this illness; my only two choices are to stay on meds and be an emotionally flat and apathetic zombie, or don't take meds and be paranoid that people are out to get me. Not to mention all of the cognitive problems and physical side effects that come with anti psychotics. I was 117 pounds before starting these meds and am now 168. I was up to 189 pounds at one point. Only been on them for just under 2 years but yeah, I really want to get off of them. Like you said, this year has been extremely shitty. The stuff going on is crazy. Hopefully next year brings some sort of normalcy.
I'd like to hear from ya about the meds...Seroquel mainly. Last i remember you was taking 400 mgs a day. I take 400mg at night & 100 in morning. I been on it since about 2004 or 2005. I have schizophrenia also. I sure am glad you made a video...i watched it twice! Anyways, take care of yourself. Ken
I connect to my dog more than anything...animals really are special. VIDEO IDEA: i find it cool to see how other people envision possible futures. are you the type that likes to imagine possible realities? if you could construct an alternate reality, or see the ideal future come about, what would you imagine? i dunno...maybe it will be a fun video topic.
obviously you can talk about whatever you want, but if you were looking for suggestions you might start with a list of favorites: favorite movie(s): favorite tv show(s): favorite actor(s): favorite youtube channel(s): favorite music: favorite singer(s)/band(s): favorite food(s): y'know, just whatever you like/recommend..
I was pretty worried about you but I feel how are, my meds don’t feel like they help me anymore have you ever had that? My sleep schedule is also starting to screw with me, I hope you keep going and sending positive vibes to you.
We would love to see you step out the box. Without really steeping out the box. You should do live with us. We love you and There's plenty of people out here who understand you.That's why we here.
Hey it’s Justin I came down with schizophrenia because I took painkillers so I got addicted and then my brain healed with too much dopamine when I got off the painkillers I got schizophrenia real bad I have what’s called negative affects it’s all the bad stuff Hope all is well keep up the good work keep your head up
Everything ur saying it’s like my life almost to the exact point and my therapist told me months ago I’m showing signs of schizophrenia which is what led me to ur page when I wanted to learn more about it. And I also have BPD so I basically don’t know who I am
I actually thought about you yesterday, that it's been a while now..... I like listning to you. I can relate bescouse I also have the diagnose. Today i feel tired and a little bit depressed but at least i've been working a little ... so i've not been lying in bed all day. But I know there will come better days. Exercise like jogging and yoga helps me alot. But right now I cant beacouse I got an injektion yesterday. Be well
i cant see that u have diagnoze, becouse shizophrenic cant write normally , think normally..shizophrenia its real desease that make from human vegetable. like alcheimer, senile demencia..but more strong more dificult..
I've reached the uncomfortable conclusion I that may have aspergers(ASD), but even that didint seem to cover everything. The doctors that saw me did correctly diagnose me with depression and anxiety, and I agree with those but I knew they missed something. And the reason they missed it is because I withheld all kinds of strange symptoms. Theres too many to list here but I am wondering if if just have odd combos of mental illnesses. And lots of schizophrenic patients' descriptions of their experiences sound all too familiar. Therefore it is time for me to schedule a meeting with a psychiatrist again. Theres missing pieces to the puzzle but I am getting closer. I had always tried to avoid talking about ASD or Schizophrenia with any doctors or therapists I talked to. I avoided a longist of stories and symptoms I still exhibit regularly today but irs because I figured out how to hide them temporarily until I got home by myself. Its part of the game. Would the humans understand anyway?
