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blehh dont worry about it, this is just another kind of hyperreal thing, dialogues and conversations are not as clean and fluid as in movies and we just naturally have those repetitive connectors
@@SrCheetoss I actually think it might be a result of contemporary culture leaning more towards enforcing filler words, because they're generally more filler than repetitive connectors I'd say, but this would be due to decreased average attention span and/or narcissism seemingly being on the rise. This alleged rise in narcissism would, hypothetically, lead to a more "rushed" sense of conversation in order to try and keep the other person's attention. The more narcissistic traits a person has, the more you'll probably experience this feeling of being rushed whenever it's your turn to speak during a conversation with them and that much isn't even hypothetical anymore. So I think it's plausible that narcissism, along with many other driving psychological, societal, cultural, philosophical and, last but not least, spiritual factors, could be contributing more than we think to the shifts we perceive in language, which is still one of our biggest tools for communication.
love this crossover! for realistic films about love, i would recomend the Before trilogy. eventhough the first movie focuses on young people falling in love, the latter two focus on aging, dissilusions, falling out of love and working through it. i love those movies.
10:55 I was not expecting to be called out like that. I'm doing a project for university and this just hit like a punch. Amazing talk btw I love both of your channels!
I think the pain that comes with your partner having sex with another person is only partially painful because of the sex itself. To get to the point that they sleep with another person, they have to lie to you, hide things from you, and give that thing that you trusted them to keep between youz to another person. We're capable of complex though, so if your partner isn't capable of not cheating on you, that is absolutely an emotional thing too. Emotions don't have to be between them and the one they slept with - it's a betrayal of your emotions, and the attachment that you two have.
These are the two channels I always love to watch and I admire, and I've watched both of their videos about this topic and loved how they expressed their thoughts on it, this is just the perfect collaboration I didn't even expect, and when I saw it I felt really excited ! :) Now after having watched it I can say without hesitation that it's an amazing podcast and I have enjoyed it a lot, love listening to them and their philosophy. Thanks a lot !!
I’m drunk af rn and I’ve just gone home to see my two favourite you tubers are doing a collab someone tell me am I trippin (always waiting to watch until I’m sober so I can fully appreciate)
"..getting on TikTok I think has affected my own attention span And ability to like do things without a RU-vid video playing in the background.." 👁️👄👁️ *Folding laundry across the room and realizing I also play videos in the background alot* 👁️👄👁️
Loved the podcast! Have you considered making a show or series similar to Midnight Gospel where it has an animated story based around a podcast/interview? I think it would be cool!
Your conversations on love were interesting because I discovered my idea of love is that friendship with a person and the caring. Unfortunately I haven’t met a women who feels that way 😂 But we need to drop all the alpha male or sigma male stuff we are physically born male and we are whoever we are. Society be damned! I say our values should come from inside us and our idea of ourselves is we all have inherent worth.
hay, why not one with shwetabh gangwar get to know him last year. he is an easten philosopher, author, RU-vidr in his Livestream, I learned a lot he used to make videos in English and then stopped and started making in Hindi.
listening to this while going through mail as I hear “I hate that tiktok has made me feel the need to listen to videos while doing things” ….. lol same
As a 30 year old man in a very stable, loving marriage to a woman I adore… I have to say, seeing the folks younger than me that were born digitally native raising concerns about how this culture and the internet is effecting their social skills and love lives is the only thing that gives me hope that one day we will all look back at this mess like we do cigarettes now. Sure go ahead if you choose, but you can’t say your ignorant to the damage your doing. I’d like that to be the future I live in, and gen Z creators like both of you is what enables me to have that hope. My only advice as someone who likely grabbed one of the last “American Dreams” as they shut the door on it. It takes work. All of it. Every single day. Your house, your marriage, yourself, your kids… all of it takes a lot of work day in and day out to thrive. There is no other option. Take one out of the Buddhist playbook and accept that life itself is suffering. Only then, once you’ve come to terms with that and internalized it, can you wake up and suffer through that work to find all the rest of what life has to offer.
horimiya is an anime that shows a lot of this too. the main couple get together in like the second episode, and have a healthy relationship for the entire show. its absolutely adorable.
42:50 totally agree. being single, a loner, or fine with yourself is still SO stigmatized and has begun to be looked at as either narcissistic, extreme, or like a strange incel thing. It’s totally ok, and in fact EVERYONE, should learn to be ok with yourself and ok with being alone.
@@yolandalee4423 i think that is kinda the opposite they were getting at in some points. I do think they echoed the living life not as a means to find love, but also that love doesn’t like just comes to exist in your life. They were kinda advocating against the notion of “passive love”. But maybe I misunderstood that and also it’s nice to critique whatsoever on your input, just a comparison to the podcast, both opinions are valid and have something to gain from.
28:10 I disagree... Someone may be driven differently between their sexual attraction to someone and their emotional love for them. But by cheating on someone, they'd be aware they are emotionally hurting the person quite significantly. And I wouldn't say you could really love anyone if you are willing to inflict that pain upon them.
I guess there are some people that just don't have integrity and can be quite behaviourally impulsive even if they claim they value someone emotionally x( But that's an immature behaviour pattern that haunts those people their entire lives... Not an excuse for the cheating of course, but I have learned to accept and forgive this way for an ex I have, it's like he couldnt help himself.
@@aesha1878 couldn’t help himself is crazy. He made a decision to cheat. I don’t believe when people cheat that it’s an impulse behavior because you’re making a conscious choice to hurt someone knowing that you will destroy the person in the relationship. I understand you said not an excuse for cheating is never impulsive. It’s a choice.
Pretty late to this but wanted to add a psychology perspective to this (i am not a psychologist but I am a psych student very interested in this topic). In a lot of psychological and neurological experiments they've demonstrated that love, all forms of love, may be better represented as a motivation (such as hunger, thirst, and sex) instead of an emotion. This is also shown with how a lack of love in childhood leads to many psychological problems, etc. There are also a lot of ties with romantic love and addiction. Additionally, the video Olivia mentioned, the Helen Fisher video, is based on her research that demonstrated how sex and romance use different brain systems so people can be in love but be sexually attracted to other people. However I believe that the whole thing with someone can be in love but sleep with someone else is more about respect, because if you loved your partner, and respected them, you probably wouldn't cheat. Now coming at it from an aroace perspective (that I cannot be very scientific with due to the lack of research). I don't think love, in the way that love in romantic relationships is depicted, is exclusive to romantic love. I think you can have that sort of deep emotional connection with friends or even with one person in a platonic sense. A conversation I had with my dad when coming out to him really opened my mind when I said I didn't think I could ever be married because it seems like you have to approach it romantically. He told me that it starts that way but eventually it morphs into a partnership. And not that you stop loving your partner romantically but it becomes so much more than just that that isn't necesarrily romantic. Some aroace people (or queer people in general) have queer platonic relationships, which is essentially that type of love, the committment and intimacy and connection of romantic relationships in a platonic way. I think love is so much more than just romance and I think if these sorts of relationships were romanticized as much, not only would aromantic/asexual people feel much more accepted, but people with romantic and/or sexual attraction would feel much less pressured reserve all of this intimacy for romance and experience this love with their friends. This makes no sense but oh well.
do u honestly think studying psychology and being a psychology student will give you some added benefit in manipulating people such as gaslighting? XDDDDDD
Culture focussing on falling in love and "highschool romance" is a case of chasing the dragon. Everybidy wants to re experience the initial high again.
I feel like theres a common misconception of the metaphor “find/found my other half”. Imo, the phrase seems to reference the halves as two people creating a whole, being a complete team to carry on our animalistic tradition. With that being said, this team cant be considered “whole” or “complete” unless the two halves that make up the team are “whole” themselves. In other words, your other half isnt completing you as a person, theyre completing the both of you as a team.
I feel a bit offended xd I am listening to this video while drawing and when she mentioned that some ppl need a yt vid in the background when doing smth
I'm not some professional philosophy-person or anything but a lot of what you talked about really reminds me of nietzche's idea (which I must say I haven't read anything nietzche wrote and it's very likely I might be misunderstanding something) of the sort of good vs. bad morality system and the good vs. evil morality system, and lots of what you said in this video is praising this very Christian concept of legitimizing things that are considered "good" in the good vs. evil morality, for instance an unattractive person willfully deciding that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. And obviously that's completely fair for all the reasons you stated in this video, and I think I agree with you in general, but I did think of one problem with your reasoning: the fact is, that there are people who are lonely and would in fact rather not be lonely, and they could become not lonely if they spent a lot of effort, doing things like taking care of themselves and asking people out. In the morality system you're advocating this person would have a justification for inaction, and would just sit around saying something like "well, I don't care anyways" and would end up being miserable, but if society encouraged him to try better himself then he might be able to stop being lonely, and therefore would be happier. I am obviously aware of the many problems that this type of morality has and am not at all advocating for it, but I heard philosophers like these sorts of highly specific theoretical cases so yeah.
The societal view of the loves is really shallow. We have trouble conceiving of living friendship. One example of this that bothers me is shipping culture that views friendships between men and women (and really all friendships even between men/men, women/women) to just the precursor to a romantic/sexual relationship. I think this is because the pre-romantic relationship is the one most often pictured/idolized in media.
I think many peoples self-consciousness pollutes the way they interact with the world. I don’t think a system’s perceived inherent flaws necessitate that we comply with such flaws. Instead I have found that authenticity is desirable beyond the superficialities of all of these so called social constructs. I am specifically referring to Sisyphus’ experience using dating apps and the perceived shortcoming of dating apps in general. Yes they encourage superficial interaction and can feel as though they commodify people in as y’all described however nobody is forcing you to go along with all of that. Your experience speaks to the immaturity and messiness of young people who use these apps, their desire for validation, all such things are present in more “natural” dating environments as well. I had similar experiences and as I matured I realized it was because I was not behaving true to myself. Once I figured that out and doubled down on self acceptance and love I could use the apps without feeling bad. I knew what I wanted, to explore the variety of human interactions and ultimately find someone to share my life with. Rejection and disappointment allowed me to hone in on what I wanted in another person and also what I did not want. Self acceptance and knowing what I wanted ultimately allowed me to find someone that I feel truly grateful to have met and can’t wait to share the rest of my life with and yes this was on tinder. Tinder allowed our paths to cross at just the right moment in our lives, otherwise we would’ve never met. After the meeting we did all of the normal things ppl do to get to know each other. Boba and coffee dilates, dinners, activities, etc. I say all this to show that your perspective around dating is more important than the trivial ways you happen upon a person. As the wise Hannah Of Montana once proclaimed “life’s what you make it so let’s make it right”.
Everybody needs to say the word “like” less. Once I heard it, I couldn’t shift my focus away from it. I’m guilty of it too. I catch myself saying it all the time. It’s hard to change how we speak. Work in progress.
Hey idk if you guys read the comments, but when you talk about cheating being bad, but sexual love and emotional love are different since they are processed in different parts of the brain, I feel like that would still mean the “part” of their brain that prioritizes sexual attraction is greater than emotional attachment, which is something I wouldn’t want in a partner.
I love the hesitation Ben had before admitting to using a dating app in the past, really speaks to how society hates the passive love in dating apps but not other circumstances
Sisyphus why don't you make videos in spanish? That could help you practice. I'm a native spanish speaker and that would be marvelous, I really love your content. Please consider it :) Well this was an incredible podcast, I admire both of you!
The topic of romantic love is so complex ! I really loved this podcast as both of you are my favorite youtubers. Personnally I've always struggled with separating or distinguishing what makes platonic love different from romantic love. This especially started when some of my friends began dating people, even myself, and we all got so obsessed with our partners that we were forgetting our other relationships. Of course we were teenagers and deeply into following the societal script of what being in love should look like. But when I started valuing my frindships way more, I wanted to know how looks a romantic relationship if you remove the sexual part. I knew that some people could envision sexual attactivities without romance, I used to engage in that as well in the past but seomthing felt wrong. So I've come to the conclusion that to me romance and sex are very linked but sex isn't a necessity to make things romantic. I'm still on my way to finding what exactly romantic love means to me, I've even started to question myself on polyamory over a year ago because I found their philosophy really intriguing and I was agreeing with basically everything I was seeing form this community - hence I did consider myself as part of the community for a while although I'm even questionning that at the moment. But I think asking myself these questions, esepcailly because I'm interested in someone at the moment is really important. Not only because it's what we have deciding with that said person, but because it makes things more intentional, and I think that resonates with the passive vs. active love you guys talked about. Also I do think that people shouldn't subject themselves to painful relationships but I do think that it comes naturally to people. The thing is, and I can only talk from my pov, that when you first start feeling all these feelings and start dating, you clearly have not as much experience as to knowing what you want nor are you necessarily in a place where you have an okay understanding of who you are since this usually starts in adolescence. I do think that if love is an art it requires practice, like Olivia said, that's why it's only normal that at first fallling in love and romantic relationships are difficult. I'm still figuring things out and trying to deconstruct these ideals of love that society has engrained in us (also all the tiktok red flags that used to just be the flaws of people in most cases lol) but this discussion has given me a lot of hope for my path so thanks !
Being 21, almost 22, and off tiktok for around 2 years now has really put in perspective just how bad the app is for people my age and younger, and it is really hard to accept that. Dating is hard because red flags are now an instant no-go. There is no more working through problems with a partner and growing together, it's just "this is perfect" or "this is awful I can do better." So many beautiful relationships will never come to fruition because people can't put in the work.
