M4A RP - My Roommate is a Neko?! [Neko Listener] [Improv] [Comedy]

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So, we all like nekos here. We like cute people, we like cats, and a neko is both of those in one. But imagine if you actually discovered someone you know is a half-feline hybrid. Would you still think it was cute?
This is an improv audio I made for my Patreon forever ago. But since I'm not really making audios anymore and my Patreon is long defunct, I figured I'd share the couple improvs I did there on here. There is one exclusive I will NEVER be sharing on RU-vid though, so you kind of just had to be there for that one.
Because I'm bad at thinking on my feet, the pronouns used to refer to the listener might be all over the place in this audio. I think I meant for it to be gender neutral but gay brain might have made me say "he" or "him" a couple times. If so, apologies in advance.
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LINKS:
Twitter: / audialarchivist
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Discord: / discord
Want to send me a script? Want to collab? Have general inquiries? Email me at audialarchivist@gmail.com
#asmr #m4a #neko

Опубликовано:

10 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 291

@st4r.luvs... 2 года назад

I'm crying- "I brought a fucking werecat off Craigslist"

@ConstellationCollections 2 года назад

it's not the weirdest thing you can buy off Craigslist

@xxcringeycookiezxx3441 2 года назад

😭😭

@vioviolet_ender 2 года назад

"Does the crocodile guy pay rent??" "Ay!- crocodile guy- Pay up-" That- is STILL killing me 💀💀

@thesimpforgirlsss7732 2 года назад

When your boyfriend is not around *just spits out a hair ball*

@thesimpforgirlsss7732 2 года назад

I mean roomate XD

@fluoriteaishiteiru7733 2 года назад

Why did this get me 🤣🤣

@xxcringeycookiezxx3441 2 года назад

LMAOOO

@S4tism 2 года назад

I am the simp for girls

@S4tism 2 года назад

✨ Also ✨

@bagotoast 2 года назад

“Of course- Of course! You’re possessed by an accent Egyptian deity.” Yes, I also believe in the heart of the cards. **Purrs in Egyptian**

@hihellobyebai8556 2 года назад

Stop being everywhere ⬅➡⬆⬇↗↘↙↖

@DiamondRedFox 2 года назад

"I dont mean to be cat-ist" Oh how could I be offended by someone who says *that*

@totallynotinsane 2 года назад

“Ay, crocodile guy, pay up. C’mon where’s the money-“ I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THAT

@L0VER-G1RL 2 года назад

Fr😭😭😭

@aurorapevensie7971 2 года назад

"I feel like a stupid white person in a horror movie" Bro I- I wheezed so hard jesus

@lifed1533 2 года назад

Bro it's Craigslist what were you expecting This is like one of the more mild things you can get off of that place

@AudialArchivist 2 года назад

This audio may or may not have been partially inspired by all the Craigslist horror stories I've heard lol

@Strawberryfroggy_13 2 года назад

@@AudialArchivist why are you listening to craiglist stories so much 😂'^' ^-^

@demonneko2317 2 года назад

I don't know if I should worry about this man's safety for the fact he's gonna go get rent money from the ancient crocodile god or feel sorry that the crocodile god is gonna have to start paying rent. Either way I'm laughing

@syntax1235 2 года назад

*in distance* alright crocodile guy, pay up i swear to god if this is actually improv that is amazing

@raijin914 2 года назад

“Oh I’m holding onto those for a friend…who just so happens to be a horse”

@Cookiemunch-if9ql 2 года назад

Love this so much 😂

@yumibluestar2710 2 года назад

I was doing horse drugs

@maxaveryfancydog4770 2 года назад

@@yumibluestar2710 XD

@pink9857 2 года назад

LMAO

@confusion_intensified 2 года назад

To be honest wouldn’t be surprised

@SarjianVA 2 года назад

"stupid white person in a horror movie" the pants and the three guys the Craigslist horror "AWW THEY'RE SOFT" LMAO and the twist at the end 😂 This is gold. I didn't get much sleep today but this really woke me up 😂 Awesome work man 😂

@AudialArchivist 2 года назад

Thanks so much, Sarji! Yeah, the chaos goblin energy was really flowing here XD

@SarjianVA 2 года назад

@@AudialArchivist I really keep coming back to this audio! Wow 😂

@bleepsbloops2133 2 года назад

Idk why but the “Do you want to get rid of this? Do we need to call an exorcist?” made me nearly die of laughter

@theactualdexter135 2 года назад

“Does the crocodile guy pay rent??” He does..I gotta force him tho.

@omegadarkraix632 2 года назад

I loved this, this was so funny how a normal person would react to a Egyptian cat god is their roommate while Sobek (crocodile god) is living under the bed and now has to pay rent it’s just great I was laughing most of the time

@chaoticmoron-zl6nv 2 года назад

I can break this is into three stages 1shock 2 confusing 3taking it in their stride

@asteroiddddd773 2 года назад

wtf- "i only wanted to do that with those three guys" that killed me

@S1mp_4_Anyth1ng Год назад

@LeonPotato Год назад

I just paused to see who commented about that 😅

@asiastolk8582 2 года назад

i love the part where it goes"awww this is still f$cking weird but awww" that was so funny im still laughing!

@mushibug4580 2 года назад

The way he describes our room and the surroundings of our room is too accurate to my room and personality

@stardatezer0 2 года назад

"The Egyptian diety who sells perfume" Goddamn it i love this audio

@The.Astaroth 2 года назад

Me: don't look under my bed! Him: *see my Allmight body pillow under my bed * Me: NOT MINE HAHAHHAHA- hehe... He... 💀

@brokebtch7364 2 года назад

I love how as soon as he touched my ears he went from panicking to this is okay

@moomoobaby_hmp 2 года назад

I'm sorry the cat God of Egypt who sells perfume? 😭😭😭 I'm dying

@alfect 2 года назад

“Why do you have horse sedatives” I’ve been addicted to ketamine for 3 years now and it’s destroying my life.

@Unknown-it6vu 2 года назад

When he said “shed hair and claw marks all over the room, what is that?” I said “*THE DEAD MOUNTAIN LION UNDER MY BED*”

@beturasimp8521 2 года назад

Lol his reaction to touching the cat ears are axactly how i would of reacted in his situaction

@forgottenxander5856 2 года назад

No the “I found a fucking were cat on Greg’s list” GOt ME

@luk4653 2 года назад

I love how he is trying to get the crocodile to pay rent 😂

@sleepyj1202 2 года назад

Him: **having a breakdo-** :0 *"Awwww they're soft"*

@White_Recluse 2 года назад

“Did you put one of those sedatives into my breakfast this morning?” *I mean I did that’s completely unrelated to this.*

@someone_very_random 2 года назад

Hold on, a dead mountain lion, 3 giant guys, disgusting perfume? What is this, some sort of zoo that sells animal perfune?😂

@alexshadow6658 2 года назад

"Aww! they're so soft!" just cracked me up, I couldn't stop laughing! I loved this so much! Keep being amazing!

@suicidalfrog635 2 года назад

He actually haveing existential crisis 😂😂😂 And in the end talking whit crocodile about rent completely killed me

@jamesgizasson 2 года назад

I can't believe how close this feels to a normal reaction. His nearly self contained panicking is absolutely gold! :3

@wulfgar8730 2 года назад

Him: I'm going to buy a spray bottle. Me: Touch the ears, touch the tail, ignore the crocodile under the bed...

@SynTheFox 2 года назад

Ok didn't expect the last minutes at all 👉🏻👈🏻 now I like it even more!

@AudialArchivist 2 года назад

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I t was really fun to do and my Patreon has been dead for a while, so I figured there'd be no harm in sharing it here.

@daichisthighs4953 2 года назад

Him: idk what you do in there Me :I make *purr* -fumes

@AelswythAudio 2 года назад

This is amazing and made me laugh so much. I definitely needed this 😅

@AudialArchivist 2 года назад

Thanks so much, Aelswyth, glad it could help!

@SynTheFox 2 года назад

Awwww I'm loving this so much I have to comment halfway already 😹😹😹. As soon as I got notified I had to watch it and ....not regretting at all ❤️.

@ducklord1021 2 года назад

I'm straight but man that was amazing at the end he starts telling the crocodile God for rent lol

@FaithMidnight 2 года назад

This is hilarious, we need a part two.

@user-xr5xo7ec4q 2 года назад

"This is still fk weird but awww" DUDE IM A CAT OFC ITS LIKE THIS

@novasan6873 2 года назад

Audie, you can't just upload while I'm in school- I'm gonna get scared. (Jk, this is nice as hell)

@skellitor5047 2 года назад

I'm just dieing from laughter. That was great I absolutely love it and I hope you have a great day/night!

@moomoobaby_hmp 2 года назад

Bruh this is getting funnier and funnier by the minute

@SleepyMe22 2 года назад

Ur voice is awsome duuude, it like sounds in character and it soundsss so awkward and confused. I respect your skill my man 👍

@Mrapocolypz 2 года назад

Honestly, only 3 minutes in and im already dying. XD Also as an improv this is way better than like, 99% of scripted RPs, so good job 👍

@dastardlyquail2552 2 года назад

This is good More please

@AudialArchivist 2 года назад

Probs not because this was a one-off shitpost for my Patreon and I don't really make audios right now, but glad you enjoyed it!

@simp7196 2 года назад

This was amazing. The twist at the end made it even better. Keep up the awesome work

@Kevin15047 2 года назад

Oh no. Bad idea, dude. Don't piss off Sobek.

@EVERYTHING-wt3wv 2 года назад

“Catist” 😂 ADHD much? “This is still really ducking weird but aww!” 😂😂 love it!

@Legend-xy3mb 2 года назад

The ear touching scene- comedy gold- I couldn't stop laughing 🤣🤣

@elextheotaku 2 года назад

Me who has cats: A big hairball i’ve never seen that before in my life(i’m saying this sarcastically) Him: it’s about the size of my fist Me: OK we have a bit of a problem

@mokimochi02 Год назад

I like how real he reacts. Like, first he goes: 'I don't wanan touch then" but the immediately "Awwwww" The instant change is what got me

@turner15 2 года назад

He’s so rude I love it.

@megansofthearted7271 2 года назад

When your bf is a werecat and the fish isn't even for him. Hugs him, kills the thing under the bed,eats fish with cute werecat.

@Helenesveen 2 года назад

This is the greatest thing I have ever heard.

@maritstam9161 2 года назад

Him: “yo 👏 okay we gotta talk”

@Bellsilvuuuu777 2 года назад

"Hey crocodile guy pay up right now." I can't breathe anymore this shit is funny. Thx for reading this comment bye.

@milesd.8083 2 года назад

“i don’t mean to be, like, cat-ist” 😭❤️ “wow, i feel like a stupid white person in a horror movie right now because i shouldn’t have done that” STOP-

@quinnwilson2215 2 года назад

"It's the cat god of perfume from ancient Egypt"

@coffee-addict2987 2 года назад

That was single handedly the funniest most chaotic thing I have ever heard. Oh my god. THANK YOU

@T0rchKnight 2 года назад

“It’s the cat god of perfume” I CHOKED ON MY DRINK WHEN YOU SAID THAT 🤣💀

@Kyechai 2 года назад

That’s actually disgusting- I’m so sorry for anyone who has ever needed to clean up a hairball after their cat. I’m so sorry to you to even tho is not real- I just feel so much guild, that’s disgusting😂I’m laughing and crying because I’m uncomfortable, good job tho

@ECHO28200I 2 года назад

“his reality just shatters and he just starts screaming…awwwwe they’re soft.” And “I’m counting him as an extra tenant. Aye Crocodile guy pay up. Where the money” that’s too good🤣

@user-xr5xo7ec4q 2 года назад

"i don't want to see this irl" "I will call animal control" BRO IM ABOUT TO END YOU FOR THIS AHSHABHAHA

@rubycr306 2 года назад

Okay I'm dying🤣🤣🤣

@theshiniestmeatbicycle3413 2 года назад

The crodile should pay rent "wheres the money

@raylin_gacha7567 Год назад

*roomate having a breakdown about the ears* *as soon he touches them* AWW THERE SOFT

@lalouison 2 года назад

This is -absolutely- adorable

@akira2629 2 года назад

I've just listened to this and this moment when he paused when he touched our ears - love it! Amazing job!!

@user-i84 7 месяцев назад

“Aww their soft, this is still rlly fuckin weird but awwww” I’m dead 💀😭😂

@Galaxyofpetals 2 года назад

I absolutely love this ! Your voice is amazing! 🥺 I love the tenth doctor reference in there !

@aiz__ Год назад

this got me wheezing lol ALSO THE "awhh" WAS SO CUTE SJJSBSKABAJ

@Chugga1Fan 2 года назад

I’m impressed with your improv skills.

@fistnamelastname879 2 года назад

I can’t with this comedy😂 “I found a fucking werecat on Craigslist”😂

@elextheotaku 2 года назад

It’s been a while since a video has made me laugh this hard thank you

@lucianstarz 2 года назад

this is a god damn masterpiece

@XXX-Raz 2 года назад

This is just pure comedy 10 out 10 comedy

@atlasVor 2 года назад

Catist… he’s a keeper

@ellawolfuwu3525 2 года назад

“I-I FEEL LIKE ITS GONNA BE LIKE THAT-“ … “Awww they’re soft~ 🥺” Ow my heart-

@idoldigikyryn1253 2 года назад

I'm 4 minutes in and dying from laughter. I put this on to sleep but I can't stop laughing

@FootyfrogXD 2 года назад

“Don’t take off your pants I only wanted to do that with those tree guys” WHAT

@achilles9589 Год назад

The “what the ᶠᵘᶜᵏ? What in the name of ᶜʰʳⁱˢᵗ?“ got me laughin

@tahliaquartzily8373 2 года назад

Ok i think we all agree when I say we need a part.2-

@wolfcat1973 2 года назад

That ending! I mean, all of this is hilarious, but that ending, man.

@aew-kun 2 года назад

I'm ill and this video keeps making me laugh 😂😂😂 this is amazing

@preyxhunter9821 2 года назад

The wtf In the distance had me dying 💀🙏

@-celine.3836 2 года назад

I should've doing my homework now, instead I'm listening to this masterpiece

@lordexplosionmurderer3592 2 года назад

I laughed so hard when he said crocodile God you have to pay rent to

@Vivi-qw9ox 2 года назад

I am laughing so hard I can’t breathe 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@ellesandralady8596 Год назад

I going to assume the smell from listeners room is a very strong perfume. And the roommate is so cuddling up with the listener when ever they want

@yuvi7814 2 года назад

This man is roasting the fuck out of y/n ( Neko) Lol💀✨

@twinart2194 2 года назад

lol this is funny

@Starlight23756 2 года назад

I WANT MORE OF THISSSSSS

@nightmarish096 Год назад

"I only wanted to do that with those three guys" Excuse me what- 👁️👄👁️ I'm gonna act like I heard nothin and keep vibin 🐙🐙🐙

@Yes-fn7xx 2 года назад

THE CAT GOD OF PERFUME 💀

@holywater7475 2 года назад

“u wouldn’t have a pet mountain lion in here somewhere would you?” close door// NooOoOO

@somnuspocusasmr 7 месяцев назад

Fuck... I'll never be able to listen to a normal neko video without remembering this one 😂😂😂😂 this was hilarious 👏🏽 it's legit how I would react in real life hhahaahhahahaha