Making The Difficult Decision | Inside The Child Protective Service | Part 2/3 

Yea I agree. I heard that in America there's parents using hot sauce as punishment

@@ism333mx my mother use it when I talk back.

@Tiger I. F. R. Tiger for my mother talking back is just saying something that she don't like :gay people are not mentally sick or if I say that I personally don't believe in god.hug you back(if you were talking to me)

@@ism333mx yep, I know a few people from the south in specific who had hot sauce as a punishment for "back talk" or using profanity. :( it's so sad

@Tiger I. F. R. Tiger The Protection Worker at the MFS watching the meeting? She did state that she was watching and listening and would step in and stop the session if needed. But obviously felt that apart from reaffirming that the seperation from the mother was in the child's best interest. It also allowed them to monitor for any changes in their relationship as time goes on. If the child wet her pants, vomited from distress or such, the Worker definitely would have stepped in and stopped the visit.

I believe the CPS is corrupt! I think parents should be allowed second chances but once they mess up the third time it should be over. The children should not return to the parents. Give them to someone who will love them!

Tiffanie Green What the hell. What do u mean corrupt?

@@ashiraazhar8047 It is just not a very good system.

There are countless examples of children dying from abuse at the hands of parents who have been given a "second chance". Many children cannot survive their parents being given another opportunity to "mess up"

@@tazzandstuff1434 That is true! I agree!

Seems to me he doesn't care. He's a bully.

He's really probably not educated. Poor childhood coupled with a lack of education just results in a lack of self-awareness, self-control, and a lack of ability to change.

If you hear his parents (kids paternal grandparents) and how they threaten to harm cps officers, it makes sense that he is such an angry and aggressive person.

Ya the whole family is f**king crazy!! How can the kids grow up properly with so much hatred, abuse and negativity at home?

@@Wendy-gm8us trust me when i say, how i wish i was saved earlier, took away & cared by other loving family member rather than my own. growing up my abusive mental, manipulative & guilt-tripping grandma is no difference either. it really does take a toll on my mental well being. both of my aunts aware how abusive my grandma could be, but only her choose to stay ignorant. in this case, the parents of the 2 y/o boy & 1 y/o girl, could try to manipulate the situation in the future to make the kids see the CPS as the bad people trying to separate them in early age. i really wish that when the kids grow up, they’ll know better.

she should arrested (idk)for attempted murdre(i cant spell :/ and was it really attempted murdur?)

@@tongfiona8310 Definitely should be arrested for sure - if not for attempted murder, then at least child endangerment

Why are they letting her see someone who hurt her so much?! I am furious that they are supporting this.

@@Godlim17 It's part of their job, the best possible cenario for CPS is not to remove the child from the parents but provide aid and support for the parents to take care of their children. To completely take away a child and remove the parent's parental rights entirely is a long ardurous process, made worse if the parent/parents fight it. In this case, it looks like the father really wants and cares for the child and it's the mother who is the problem. But the mother herself said that she would never let her child go for anything (which is messed up if she's saying that and did indeed dangle the child out of a window)

They also need to observe the child’s reaction for first hand recorded evidence should they take it to court and have her rights legally terminated. This is not taken lightly and they need all the evidence they can get.

Article?

@@buffdrum6122 He admitted to it in the interview with the Worker's.

I’m really shocked they actually allowed a child to have a parent like that..

And drugs and other things. He was pretty nervous, there was more. Very safe...

He should not be allowed near his stepdaughter at all.

Listening to her scream and cry like that broke my heart. That woman is a walking nightmare to her.

@@wendywarski7131 agree. That was not thoughts put into her head nor a tantrum. She was in fight or flight mode. Completely terrified of that monster.

my heart was at lost hearing she think she will be free to do what she wants if that was in vietnam. she had no remorse even after hearing her daughter's scream or terror in her face. i can almost feel the fear that little girl had and it feels so real i hope she will be free from her.

@@allisoncrooks4493 wow abused children wouldn't dare scream like that. However coerced children do. Look up the differences in behaviours of abused children from parental alienated children (aka coercive control) That screaming child was a coerced child not an abused one

@@bronwentownsend5601 not every child reacts in the same way after being abused.

Puiz yes facts

So true. As a parent I have to remember I make the decisions and I have to suffer the consequences. My kids should never have to suffer, ever! The scales should always tip more heavily on the love side, discipline should come with age.

i feel bad for the girl and her father..

Sad

She's pretty loathsome. She kept acting concerned when she met the girl at CPS office... So where was that concern while she was threatening to throw her from the window? Insane.

Get that mother away from the girl!! The little girl was screaming!

It is absolutely infuriating to watch. I hope the laws become tighter for people like her to get a PR/Citizenship

Ingrid Åkerblom maybe they should start with a fish

Ingrid Åkerblom yeah

Don't breed as well. The government do not own our children.

Generational curse

Ty for this point. That's how I felt in my parents home. I didn't feel like they cared about me. My Mom was a Martyr and my Dad was angry. I didn't think that anything could have been done to take me away from that place. It's like my Dad was tempermental and you always had to watch what you said around him and agree with him all the time. My Mom would guilt trip us, play the martyr, act like she loved us following up with critising us and acting like our personal experiences never happened. So we felt confused, guilty, never good enough, and pitted against each other because that is what narcs do. Once my Dad even said one day that we don't abuse you go call CPS then. I had no idea of what CPS was back when I was a kid but basically we were taught that if we did anything that they didn't like that there would always punishment. I was scared to contact outsider help. There was this one time when I was 21 and my sister and Dad kidnapped me when I ran away from home. I had to escape. My Mom put a gun to her head in front of me that is why I ran away from home. I could go on and on but I would rather not. Basically I felt like I had to comply with their wishes even though I knew it was wrong. I always wanted to be free but didn't think it was possible. So basically I felt that I was helpless. I wish I knew back then what I know now. My life would have been a lot less painful.

@@artemisjr1237 I'm so sorry that you had to suffer like this in silence. What your parent's did was abusive. That would have been such a difficult thing to not only grow up with, but to get over. I hope that you found someway positive to deal with your past? And that you have a much better life now with lot's of love and support.♥️

It’s honestly shocking

Tara Stover so shocking.

I was in a children's home after reporting my dad's abuse. Two days after I'd been placed the court tried to send me home, I had to barricade myself in a room to keep from being taken "home". Afterwards I stayed a run away except for the birth of my daughter, I was so messed up I sent her to live with her dad's mom. I stayed messed up for over 2 decades. Much better now at 43, still have the nightmares but no other problems.

Exactly! Then she says she doesn't trust the father. So she HAD to get married. To stay in Singapore. The little girl adores her father.

@@rachelmartin3631 I'm so sorry that's horrible. In almost all cases of really severe abuse or child homicides that make it to the public light are cases where CPS had several opportunities to intervene & don't or they put the children back in the home like in your case. You made it out not without a lifetime of turmoil & chaos I'm sure. I hope you have some peace in life now. I'm 40 and am just getting some peace.

Exactly! And even if she was not to taken away, or even if she DID know them as parents, she'd know them as horrible and nightmarish parents. (I apologise for the very late and unprompted reply.)

@Grannvale Flame Emperor i agree cuz i was in this situation for 7 years im 15 rn and my dad was kicked out a mouth ago

@@kashregester3974 hope you and your mom are fine and happy now

If she leaves he will still get custody. It’s just as dangerous for women and children to leave. I advocate for victims of DV in family court.

It seems he's been successful at isolating her from her family. The worker was very clear that the husband and the paternal grandparents were the issue. I hope she has family who can support her when she is ready.

The father’s entire family screams abuse and violence. Obviously the mother is a victim of domestic abuse and her family tried to help her and her children. Unfortunately you can’t help the mother if she doesn’t want to get help. Her children on the other hand need to live in a healthy and safe environment

*through

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 ok grammar nazi

@@raydonovan1173 😊😊😊😊

@@nhakim222 how do they even do that

Me too

Sad to say it doesn't give me warm fuzzies. They don't always keep you safe, some fall through the cracks like I did.

@@rachelmartin3631 /Sends hugs/ Not every child and every family can be saved, we can only try our best with what we have 🥺

they are really super super busy. I used to work with kids and sometimes we had the CPOs involved. It was so so hard to get an email or a phone call in cos they were that busy. and often it was challenging to try and get follow-up on cases because they were not "bad enough" (and honestly I could see why, considering how time consuming and severe some of these cases are in comparison), basically it was indicative of a system that is constantly being overwhelmed. I can't forget one of the kids I used to work with, there was so much emotional abuse, but without sufficient proof it was so difficult to get a foot in the door of child protection services. Until the child turned up at school with a massive bruise and they finally had something tangible to report. It's can get really complicated because in reality there are more than just the CPOs, there are social workers, therapists, doctors, lawyers etc working with the family, it's just such a tough field.

I’m sure that the CPS officers do a background check and interview the chosen person before just allowing them to gain custody, plus they most likely will do unannounced visits just to make sure the child is continuing to be safe, but idk (Timestamp 32:16)

Well at least it ruled out the father's family.

The safe person should be chosen by them.

We have an operation like CPS in VN also, the mom would definitely doesn't know about it. But honestly, from my personal point of view only, CPS in VN doesn't work in the way it should be. Not many people know of it, most cases result in just talks and consultations, and unless there is extreme abuses involved (violence, sexual abuse,...) then the children would not be separated from the parents. Having to report my own father to the polices for domestic violence twice, I was even threatened by an officer that if I keep accusing my dad while projecting "disobedient behaviors" (I'd been hit and terrified before they got there so I just wanted to get the dude away from me asap) then if he were my dad he would hit me harder.

@Grannvale Flame Emperor i have ptsd and trauma from the 15 years ive been alive. Ive not been physically abused but domestic abuse was the norm my dad would chase us while cussing and if he couldn't catch us hed hit our mom in the head i pushed my dad 1 time and he almost hit me... But my mom was the verbally abusive 1 so any loud noise/ yelling gives me ptsd and i canot be in any small confrontation without crying. Nothing is worse than abusive parents it doesnt matter how it happens or which abuse it is. It all causes the same emotional and physical trauma. (Everyone in my family has depression and anxiety most of us r bipolar)

That was my upbringing. I wish CPS had intervened.

Been living with such abuse for 27 years of my life. Agree with the fact that bruises fade and I remembered that once I had contacted the police yet they did not act on or call child protection services. Ran away multiply times yet not even the school helped. Grew up with so much toxicity and hatred had destroyed my mental heath. I wish no child had to experience what I've been through.

Research parental alienation (aka coercive control)

As a Vietnamise and 15- i really don't understand why she said that okay?? Then go to Vietnam is she saying she's under a ton of stress at the moment? It's her child the fact she said that also yes i agree with you so much she cooporated so much and her comments there is just something off she definitly knew what to say or do i'm afraid for the child, the mom will probably comeplete all the steps on the plan and get to visit her daughter when she threatened to kill her or harm her

Research the difference between abused children and alienated children (aka coercive control)

@@bronwentownsend5601 still abuse.

@@LuLu-tz5ge yep by whoever it is instilling the fear in her mind. Children don't react like that to their abusers. They only act like that to a person when another person/people have instilled it in them. Child psychological abuse perpetrated by whoever has been putting it in her head

@@LuLu-tz5ge and yes whoever has coerced that child needs to be put in prison

He NEVER said ANYTHING about what do I CAN I do just want to bully and lie

He's all about his own victim mentality unfortunately.

I think the young dad has love for the children. It is just that he may need guidance to manage his anger? Simply removing their children will also make them frustrated and vengeful. The parents need to be cared and guided to manage themselves.

Nuraini Ain That's mad. No matter how much he loves his kids, if he can't be a normal adult and stop himself from hurting the people he loves, then they should never be given back to him

@@nurainiain7761 his value system seems so wrong; he thinks of himself as a victim and doesn’t hold himself accountable for anything. It’s frustrating just watching him.

Are you stupid?

johnny kikki nah you are.

I was thinking the same thing, when he said I’ve forgiven you for all your sins and she hugs him after they watched the video of the son cussing her. So sad. The fact that they said that he’s more violent while she’s pregnant puzzles me. Why are they not helping her:-(

@@ellaella5537 Lol the bitch was a lousy good for nothing piss poor excuse for a mother. She should have been taken away from her daughter in the first place

Dunno, his parents are none too good either. They seem to inflame the husband more.

Because it’s free and they already own the equipment?

They are married and perhaps contraception is against their religion??? I know, I know- domestic violence SHOULD BE against their religion as well, but I guess not.

Brainless problematic

@@christinafidance340 contraception is not against their religion btw, thats a misconception...

I knew a family who both had all of their previous children (from different relationships) seized by cps. They were our neighbours and had a baby at the same time as my step mother and we went to their place a few times. We saw her become malnourished because the mother was boiling the baby formula after mixing it. She would let her cry and cry and put her behind the cushions in the sofa "she just wants attention". The baby was weeks to a few months old. She also dropped her because of intoxication. We reported them and the child was taken away in the end. I work in child care. Unfortunately I have even worse stories but as they are confidential I can't share those. Some people should not be parents. Or let close to a child.

Research the difference between abused children and alienated children (aka coercive control)

Grannvale Flame Emperor I’d say about 7 out of 10. Many of the kids came back to visit us over the years saying it made a difference, it changed them and their self esteem and life expectations, helping to break the cycle . They wanted more, and though life is hard they knew they could ask for help and get it. The kids stayed in residence with us for several months , at first only going home for weekends after a month break of only seeing the family at our place for short visits. We taught the kids social and life skills and many other things as well, they attended school at our school for about 6 months and we liaised reintegration into home, school, community when we could see it all coming together.

I wished the system in Singapore will adapt a similar approach, instead of just trying to arrange safety plans & seperation on top of penalising the wrongdoer without offering ANY anger therapy.

Agree. The parents may not know to manage their inner unhappiness. They themselves need guidance to be self aware.

Oh, Canada, adopt me.

Unfortunately our system when it comes to emotions, relationship and trauma still seems to be very primate. Especially when implemented with the government.

Superheroes. They have passion for children.

Get real all social workers are nasty prices of crap that steal children from loving happy homes a sell them to the highest bidder

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 More like you're a bad parent venting out your anger

They also do child trafficking for pedophiles.

@@doyouhearthepeoplesing2 agreed

Did your adoptive parents allow your bio parents to remain in contact ?

If them can't love you I can love you for them

@@leahhustleee9244 yes, my bio father I still talk to but he is in Germany. My mother I lost contact as she kept calling the house drunk. So Children's Aid had to step in. Dont know what happened to her. All I know is that she is in Toronto. I live in Alliston with my foster parents now.

@@nadiarenz1124 😅😅

@@ameliawilder28 glad that you are still in touch with your bio father

Different countries have different ideas of safety.

Angela Jackson it is compulsory for children to wear car seats in Singapore up to a certain age(I’m not 100% sure,but I think it’s around 3 years old). This was definitely out of ordinary from our country.

I thought they were in a taxi so there might not have been an appropriate car seat available and since newborns can't sit by themselfs holding them is the best option I guess.

@@mennoe7076 No car seat, no ride. It's insane to drive a child or infant around without a car seat.

Its common in asia to not wear seatbelts.

They will see if a mother-child bond can be re established. It’s not ideal, but there is a huge cost, psychological injury for life when the child is abandoned by the mother. At this point in the program we don’t know the final decision.

Julie Mcgugan Always a struggle for more funds with these necessary services :(

Actually being too afraid to speak out is a number one indicator of real abuse. That is how most abused children are until they become aware that the abuse is not normal for all households

@@bronwentownsend5601 exactly my point

@@NavyAng I know. Was validating as I'm being attacked by a large amount of people for speaking out on the real dynamics of abuse. Most seem to think it's black and white and simple to see.

Research the difference in behaviours between abused children and alienated children (aka coercive control) Then you will know what you need to know in how a child responds to the parent

Corporate??? Do you mean cooperate? What does a corporation have to do with child protection?

I noticed that as well. You wonder if they get so desensitized by what they must witness in their jobs everyday. I know i couldn't do it.

I kinda agree but at the same time it's relevant to realise that time is of the essence. They need to assess and identify asap. That can mean pretty direct and hands on methods. Still makes me feel as you did though.

🙏 yes because abused children don't behave like that but coached children do