Married at First Sight #27 - Therapist Reacts (Meka and Michael) - Pay Stub Lies 

When will Michael learn... smh

that actually explains alot

Watching this series is so triggering for me. I loved and cared for someone like Michael. He made alot of progress over time. He became a family friend. The last thing that happened was that I found out he had been recording all telephone conversations with everyone (including me). We separated shortly after that.

Period

Facts. Lying doesn’t even compute to them. That’s usually what they enjoy about math-that it is input/ output. Lying to them pissed them off beyond belief.

Yes, she showed him her stub and handled the conversation very well.

I felt like she tried to do this different ways so many times, and was given false hope because sometimes it did seem to go reasonably well. He would just never admit or come clean about the lies.

What bothers me is the experts continued this marriage KNOWING this is not behavior Michael can stop on his own. He legit needs therapy for his chronic lying, and constantly telling him to stop lying and telling Meka to be softer was such a waste of time 🤦‍♀️ It upsets me when it’s so clear someone has psychological issues and the experts don’t address the help they need and force the other partner to work on the marriage as if the marriage is the issue. All this exploitation for entertainment. SO messed up.

@@LaNoturna they also seemed to make it look like Meka was over the top and not trusting until just recently, and now it's making him look suspicious instead of helping frame both of them as people trying their best but with issues. Seems like the show is trying to show the worst traits in both of them to blame them for the matchmaking failing.

Lmao

I always wonder how much he must have talked his wifes ear off BEFORE you tube.

That's another phrase he could get on a shirt, along with "Hello deserving listeners"

@@snoox27 I mean idk I'm sure he is doing that FOR RU-vid, for the deserving listeners. But even if he had this conversation with his wife I'm sure she would find it endearing, enjoy it and not be annoyed by it cause she is married to him ya know

@@snoox27 Hahaha!

Lol u damn right sleep with 1 eye open and the other half open

Yes, I never understood why people gave Meka such a hard time. I actually really like her and always thought she was being more than fair considering what she was dealing with. Even with cameras I'm pretty sure I would not have handled a relationship with Michael as well as she did 😂 And I think with an honest partner she probably would be an amazing wife.

Katherine Davidson She is super mature. I hope she was able to annul the marriage because there was nothing he told the truth about. Her and Derek deserved a lot better.

@@bekahsierra7313 She did get the marriage annulled. She had made a post about her annulment.

I’m too old to subject myself to someone like this

I've worked in HR for years. The offer letter is your gross salary. You do not choose your health plan or how much you want to put into your 401k until your first day of work when you do all the onboarding paperwork. Michael, you're lying.

I’d also love to know what kind of “teaching” job this is. I have been a teacher for over a decade. This is not how it works at all. Your gross salary is detailed in an official proof of salary letter (if they even give you one to begin with - many districts will require you to request it and some won’t even give it to you until you have officially started work because technically you’re not an employee in the system yet). Most public school teachers who have accepted a job offer during a non-work month (summer vacation) will find their gross salary detailed in a union contract document, which will show salary steps and how much you can expect to make from year 1 all the way to your retirement year (at the present time of course). The document would also should show how the district pays teachers with different accolades - teachers with x degree will earn XX amount verses teachers with y degree who will earn XXX. You pick your insurance plan after starting work. You typically won’t know how much is being taken out for union dues, pension plan, etc. until you get your first check. I call BS on this. Also, why not show his paystubs from his job the previous school year? I mean, he said he was a teacher right? That means he would have gotten paid for the summer - assuming he worked a full year anyway. Our summer pay is not guaranteed the way most people think it is - summer pay is prorated according to the number of days you worked during the school year. If you only worked 50% of the school year, you will lose 50% of your take home pay over the summer. Either way, he would still be making SOMETHING over the summer if he truly did work.

@@Blueskies271 I read elsewhere it was a daycare “director” sort. Like a $12-$13 an hour job..

Aq

That is what is called in theatre. To break the 4th wall. It was kind of funny

Exactly My wife and I were like, who is Montre and who is she looking at, that 4th wall. When sister girl got up and was like someone betta come get him, it was over.

My friends and I still say “MONTRE!” 🤣

@@beautifulrose8619 that’s the best explanation I’ve heard of that phrase. Thank you.

She had said in a Q+A that the difference in the figures Michael showed her was 40 or 60k, something huge that made no sense.

@@Granition Oh god, that's such a wild and weird thing to do. Thanks for sharing. I don't watch this show myself but I really like these reactions for their educational value :)

yes, he's screwed

Well, the psychologist explained chronic liars with massive detachment issues from their childhood don’t use logic when they’re lying. Everyone knows they’re lying, and they stick to their lies anyway. It’s all emotional, not logical.

hahahaha imagine saying 100k then trying to justify why it's 40 instead 😝

wow

Wow!!! I actually have no words

Wow, from this exchange ( could be something Dr. H said, though) I thought it was only $20K and I was thinking THAT was waaay too much of a stretch. $60K? No effing way!!!

@@gigib8849 20k could almost work if it was high salary and high taxes (e.g. $100k - $20k taxes). $60k in taxes is catastrophic and absurd

mine too. That is so weird. He'd have a white truck, no it's red.

Yup mine was the same I'm 90% sure he's on the narcissist spectrum. It's weird because I did that as a small kid for a bit too. Kids mimick, thankfully I stopped doing that later on.

It really was. I was completely triggered by it. I felt my blood pressure skyrocket. 😂

EXACTLY! Having this kind of information is useful mostly as a means of self protection-and I also find It helps me be more compassionate, but really only from afar. When you are in experiencing these events in real time it’s not real easy to stop and understand why they are the way they are-at least not in practice. And there comes a point where someone needs to have enough self awareness and motivation to change/grow. He seems to have no interest. She’s right to doubt him, she’s just not practicing all the “healthy” approaches. She’s reacting, not thinking, but she’s dead on with this guy.

🤣🤣🤣 Me Either

You realize the nature of this show is extremely evil demonic and morally hazardous of the very least LMAO and this psychologist is doing an analysis of this show without any regard for this fact is totally oblivious LOL and he's actually promoting it that's not professional oh, he is lending towards promoting this extremely Marley hazardous Hollywood culture human spirit exploitativeness Self Indulgence entertainment I can't even call it on to tainment it's sickening. Oh my God now I'm 3/4 way through this video and he's telling me that he stopped somebody from getting their psychology practice degree we license whatever meanwhile he's doing analysis of this extremely in moral and questionable psychologically damaging television show oh my God talk about the kettle calling the pot black this guy is an extremely sophisticated manipulator. In fact many people get into psychology for the purpose of learning how to master the art of manipulation and I got this guy's number right from the start just based on the way he poses and in the frame of his video incredible of the Stellar crystal ball that I possess on people it's just amazing how I can read people especially now that I really understand the inner workings of this world's geopolitical process socioeconomic pair of diamonds well as the psychosocial factors involved in the overall theme of how this world operates and many other areas such as Finance economic Psychiatry the Hocus Pocus of so many things involving sociology the the Monopoly within the Academia and the Very Entrance Test Monopoly between professors in the entire Academia for propping up tuition fees oh my God list goes on and on . This dragged on way too long all right we get it the guy's a douche bag chronic liar insecure attachment as a child blah blah blah move on really is this how you charge people? They never get anything accomplished and none of their problems resolved 4 Less Than 90% of all their earnings LOL seriously as a psychologist you should be much more efficient than that I would never hire you oh, you just dragged my therapy on and on and on longer than it has to go LOL

@@jackv6477 everything you said doesn't matter because by you talking about it and watching it it gives it more exposure.

@@jackv6477 also there's nothing wrong to step away from these kinds of shows or deciding not to watch them at all, but everyone is different

@@jackv6477 it sounds like you're really going through it buddy. it doesn't sound healthy.

@@jackv6477 I think you should be less worried about him and more worried about your horrendous lack of grammar skills...

Me too. I don’t know if he was a cheater or not, but my pathological liar would lie about things that were black and white, and the truth was in front of me. Like, is that coke in your pocket? (Pan to a baggy of coke falling out of his pocket.) And he said no. He would lie about what he ate for lunch. Such a weird dude. I tried to be friends with him. I guess technically we still are acquaintances, but I’m over being emotionally tied to him. Although I still care for him and his wellbeing, I don’t expect anything from him in a friendship.

@@rubyrayne8 Same!!! My ex would lie about what he ate for dinner. Or just lie about the dumbest shit! N i b sitting there repeateding back to him what he said to me. In hopes he noticed how crazy he sounded ahahaha never the case! I'm glad God removed him from my life and allowed better/ healthier things to replace

I had a friend who was a pathological liar. It took a while and a lot of drama to figure her out. But eventually she realized that I knew about her and it gave me the opportunity to just straight up ask her y she made up such crazy lies. She told me it was fun for her, like a game. She'd start small and get bigger with a foot in the door type of thing, just to see how long she could go with ppl before they figured out they were being lied to. Once they figured it out, she'd stop. Like she'd test ppl and judge their intelligence based on which lies they believed. Super manipulative, trouble maker, awful family, cool girl tho when she was off her bs (not often, but frequent enough). Can't say that is the way with every liar. This is just one case.

My ex husband lied about liking spaghetti 😂 I laugh about it now but at the time I was like "I served your ass spaghetti for 2 years cause you said you loved it, like how?" Obviously this was only one in a very looooong string of lies some about finances and drug use, so serious lies; and I do know the psychology behind it, I have done a lot of research after I finally left him. It just one that makes me laugh now...

If i may, would you share with me your pathological liar's zodiac sign..tryna 👀

lol

Michael's lies could fill a book.

Yassss girl 😂😂😂😂

Exactly. I've onboarded people before so I know that work doesn't get done until your first day when you fill out the paperwork. It's the employee's decision to accept or reject 401k, insurance and any other possible benefit the company offers. It's also up to the employee to set their federal withholding. That's not even considering if their's a state tax. He'd be better off saying I came up with these numbers on my own based on my own calculations rather than saying the employer did so. He's not even a good liar. I mean you can Google an offer letter template and create a realistic looking letter. SMH

@@dahliaherrod4301 yes, he just lies as a reflex. He doesn't need to be married. The explanations are non-sense. However, I do know someone like him that happily married but that guy married his high school sweetheart.

The recruiter does not know what your salary will be because she doesn't know (or have) any knowledge about what your deductions will be.

LMAO if he isn't the reincarnation of Tommy I don't know who is.

@@dahliaherrod4301 Tommy always had an excuse. Just like Michael lol

Look, we all knew this from jump. Who lies about this kind of stuff, especially to your spouse

@@Keishabarnett69 He should've told her from the jump.

I laughed so hard at this. That is why she was like somebody come get him.

Yeah, you need licensure to be a principal, which requires an additional degree in education. That may not apply if he's at a private school, but I don't know how you go from cleaning yoga studios and subbing for the instructors to being a school principal. You'd think the show would do better background checks. Ugh. I'm actually willing to buy his claim that he was teaching yoga regularly until filming started, at which point he switched to subbing to accommodate the filming schedule, but the rest of it seems fishy af.

Right. If he told her up front he is unemployed she can make an informed decision.

well he’s married now so… someone is putting up with this.

@@dadaguiar Thank God it's not Meka. He would have run her ragged.

Out of all the people they could have chose, why did they choose him? These producers are just playing with peoples lives. Maybe don’t go on a show like this lol

Ash probably can't even lay straight in bed. I'm like can he just not pull up a bank statement and show her his take home pay. Like thats easy to do right. Cause before tax/insurance means nothing its pretend money. I wonder if he lied about how much he makes to either a. Look better or b. Hide money from her. Im really glad Dr Honda is spotting all his red flags.

Nah. This guy and ash are completely different. Ash wants to keep the peace whereas this one lies for (seemingly) no reason.

It’s too cringey to watch without you

Right! The recipient wonders if they are crazy for thinking someone is lying and doubt themselves. I applaud Meka for sticking to her guns and not placating him.

Lolol I feel ya...60k in Canada def is more like 45 😝

But their quality of life is far better, so it's worth it. Free (good) healthcare, longer periods of maternity leave, they probably have free post-secondary education as well, better roads and schools, etc....Sounds like a fair tradeoff to me.

​@@2006glg I'm Finnish, and yes it _is_ a fair tradeoff. 😊 (And the post-secondary education is also free.)

Wow

Maybe his actual salary is what he was embarrassed of.

I have, too. MONTRE!

Lol...never laughed so hard 🤣 💀

@Meredith Merth on the podcast there is a patreon deep dive on attachment about 10hours worth... that might be a good place to start🤗

Great Mum! 💐

Your word “overcome” attachment issue means you feel she will have it? I’m adopted and had a hell of a lot of issues mainly due to the family and mental illness dynamics. The abandonment were just added on top. I hope your child doesn’t have those issues!! Not to sound bitchy but be a good parent!! That will help. The people who bought me were awful!!

Take her to therapy, a child can be in therapy.

And the non-traumatized are looking also to recreate their early relationships which were well made attachments with loving parents. So makes sense...huh?

Aren't we all! So much healing can be done in relationships with awareness and willingness to change from both ends (oh, and therapy lol). Currently trying to work on some deep attachment wounds myself, totally in this with you!

Lol as a math guy myself, mathematics and finance doesn’t have much correlation. But I get you’re joking. But point out she have a math degree was unnecessary

She says it herself. And to say finance and math don’t have much of a correlation is laughable.

And Zach lol they picked a terrible cast for this season. Even Katie wasn’t ready. It was terrible

I'm sure he is, because he knows he's lying. He created that anger response by lying to her a thousand times completely unnecessarily. He also knows Meka is too smart to fall for it again. It's also magical thinking. He thinks maybe this time she'll believe his lies.

@@asunnywebb i agree, from the episode when she was telling everyone what he said on the plane it has been going down hill. I don't see any reason for her to make that up and still try to give the marriage a chance. He denied everything and was acting like she was crazy and with the pastor? pushing her to let it go or maybe she misunderstood, she had no help. When you start adding up the lies, he was probably afraid of when and how she would call him out or see if she was buying his BS. He was probably waiting for her to completely lose it on him.

I think he makes a lot less than what he originally claimed he makes and he’s just embarrassed about how much he makes. He lied about his job also he’s just a huge lier for what reason idk maybe to make himself look more financially stable.

So true! It was the saddest thing when she would start lying 😔

Or she learned a hard lesson. Good thing she never slept with him.

Lolol

Seriously. Why could’ve they pick someone more normal with secure attachment