I felt the same about sex. Being told no no no during the courtship and as soon as you get married it's like you are expected to have no reservations at all. It's definitely a learning process, and something we need to teach the next generation to handle better.
I agree! I feel like communication while you’re in courtship or dating is very important. you want to get to know your partner, and know that you’re comfortable having sex with that person eventually in your life. But it’s definitely awkward to talk about it... I wish Christians could normalize more sex within marriage and talk about it more openly💜‼️
I'm gonna be honest here. You can't. Talk about everything. Some things need to happen in order to experience them, know about them and most importantly: know whether you like them or not. So. Of course it is that you get awkward or sex seems unfitting in the marriage, when you're a) not allowed to collect experience (even with the one), b) needed to wait too long, c) marrying too early and finding that you're not fitting, vibe and sexwise. Christianity for me is so dehumanizing. We're humans. Priests rape all day, everyone of them. We all do the same mistakes, were flawed. We're humans. And some people aside (asexuals or people with low libido in general), we need sex. It's a need. It affects us. The second reason, people come together. And christianity be like: no. Wth. It's so backwards, noone benefits from waiting till marriage. Jesus is dead, he won't congratulate y'all, not does your waiting bring him back. WHO benefits from that? Nya... Sorry.
I think that there’s a point where people need to start standing up to purity culture in the church. Growing up in the church there was so much shame and guilt surrounding behavior and no emphasis on the motivations. If you’re saving yourself for marriage because you think that sex before marriage is just sinful and dirty no matter what then when you get to marriage you’ll be taking those same beliefs into the bedroom. I don’t think God wants us to sacrifice the gift of his grace for a behavioral decision based in fear. If you’re going to save yourself for marriage then I think it needs to come from a place of wanting to be pure and close with God, not out of fear of shame or guilt or even judgement which is literally everywhere. The thoughts and opinions I grew up with and the memories of deep set guilt and shame are something that I have had to deal with for my entire adult life. Bottom line, don’t not have sex to not have sex, Gods grace is sufficient (look it up) and we need it every day regardless of our virginity or lack thereof. The church has been outputting young people doused in shame and fear because of the value they put on “purity” which often times has nothing to do with the heart and everything to do with what you hide or avoid.
I love how you said that you were happy about your husband being the only person you will ever exercise with. As a muslim woman, I believe in exercising as a married couple only too, and it makes me so happy to see you practice that as well as a christian. Especially these days where it isn’t practised that much anymore. You go girl! ❤️
Without sounding rude you can tell immediately that it’s different to discuss “exercising” between the genders. I like how Daniel said he understands what you mean but he’s never felt that way, and it’s simply because he’s a man and most men aren’t made to feel almost ashamed to even bring up the topic of “exercising” in church. Definitely love the videos of Daniel being included❤️😂
I couldn’t stop smiling. Y’all are so cute. I am also married and a christian and I agree... I think ‘exercising’ is so important to talk about because it’s a beautiful thing God created for man and wife. It shouldn’t be taboo!
I also agree that church should talk more about “exercising”, being a teenager and having certain emotions growing up you feel like it’s “wrong” because nobody really talks about it... I look forward to one day getting married and exercise with my husband but I feel like it’s gonna be such a taboo topic to talk about...
@@indiabatson26 yes! I really wish they talked about it more. Even though I am going to wait till Marriage to have any type of intimacy... I think it should be disgusted as more normal than something to be ashamed of🙌
Too much emphasis on behavior maybe and not enough on the heart? Lots of young adults have to deal with deep set shame when it comes to sex (even the holy kind). Gotta make sure you don’t walk the mistake of believing Gods grace isn’t sufficient in all things.
YES! It is different for the men! Even in the church. I was ALWAYS made to feel ashamed of sex even after you’re married, and i never learned anything helpful or REAL because of the church. Please keep talking about! For everyone who wishes they had that knowledge earlier.
it absolutely is different for men. I completely agree ! I just wished this topic was talked about more in the church. I think it would be very helpful !
I agree! I’m a girl and i hope to one day get married and have sex with my husband but it seems like such an uncomfortable topic to talk about ....I want to feel comfortable with my future husband and not feel so ashamed...😭
Yess! Ive been married for years and my husband still has to remind me that we are married! Its okay to talk about it and look at it as a positive, exciting thing!
She is the good sport. He is always pointing fingers at her and had 3 annoyances while she had one. He’s disrespectful. He reminds me of my husband when we were first married. He’s not allowed to disrespect me anymore. Her husband comes off as controlling. If I have any advice for her it’s don’t let him be solely in charge of the finances. Get involved!!! I’m 42 now and that’s one of my biggest regrets is letting him do it all!! And you’re hair is amazing! Keep shining. Don’t let anyone dim your light. You radiate ✨
LOLLLL he was such a trooper when we filmed that 💛💛 he was actually really excited when Clarins reached out and asked for him to be in the video. He was like “ tell them I’m expensive “ hahahah 🤣💛 he was excited, so sweet
Lock the door. Yup! Red flag! My husband works at home. Im a stay at home mom. All doors have always been open. Never even talk about that. It just is. I think its healthy to NOT lock doors. And it does show someone hiding things. Not that your husband is..... but my husband talks to me often about how easy porn is for men and women these days. Which both my husband and I had to have the Lord help us through that. It is something to talk about in my opinion as a married couple. I think everyone should. So much on social media also.
I know your newly married but the only door you can lock maybe not even then is the bathroom. Locking other doors is just a big NOT! If a door is closed knock, wait for an answer. When it comes to the bedroom figure it out for yourselves it’s really nobodies business. Don’t invite others in behind your closed doors unless you feel it’s really hurting your marriage and you need help!
It took me way too long to figure out what you meant by exercise. As a Christian I understand the "it's bad don't do it! Don't speak of it!" transition to "do it openly and freely with your husband any time!" Then we transitioned to me being way higher drive than him and that's a whole other topic. So yeah, talk about it a lot together. Make married sex a normal topic. In your marriage communicate openly about it.
sex as a whole needs to be destigmatized, but especially in religious settings and institutions. like there's more to sex in religion than just "don't do it until you're married". we need to discuss why it's a good idea to wait for marriage, not just from a religious standpoint, but from a practical standpoint as well like dramatically reduced risk of contracting STDs, financial stability, more stable home environment to raise potential children in, etc.
Locking doors is strange. But it might be about him claiming ownership of your place. As, you will be comfortable with your surroundings. But you might feel your space is being invaded. Also, if he is an introvert. He will drained by people. So he needs to recharge. Alone time is recharging. I really would recommend moving. Getting a mutual space will help him recharge with you. And, the space ownership battle. Haha Really love your spirit India, and love all your content. 🙏🤍🤍🤍🤍
communication is the most important thing in a marriage, remember you both are learning in this initial stage of marriage which can be a bit overwhelming since we sometimes forget that we cannot read minds to see what your spouse is thinking, even it may seem a silly question please talk about it, and never, never go to bed mad at each other. Blessings to both of you.
You guys are so adorable. And such newlyweds...lol...I mean that as a compliment. I agree with India that it is good for married Christians to discuss sex. My husband and I have been married almost 13 years and let me say that your sex life will change with each passing year/month. Sometimes it won't be as frequent, other times it will be very frequent. The important thing is to always make sure your partner feels loved and desired by you. Do not deny one another other than for medical or spiritual reasons. Will you sometimes not feel like doing it? Sure. But don't make a habit of refusing one another just for being tired....because trust me, there will always be a lot of tired...even more when you have children and get older. I wish you both a long and wonderful marriage...keep God first and each other a close 2nd. ❤
1. Love that you’re able to live off of his salary and save yours. I knew another couple that did that for the first few years of their marriage, which allowed them to save but also got them used to living off of just his salary because they knew eventually they wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom. 2. Agree with everything you said regarding the importance of talking about exercising! The “Church” has struggled with talking about that topic in a healthy way for pretty much always lol so it’s good to hear people normalize it within the realm of marriage and having waited and all that.
When he said that he needs alone time, I totally got it. I work with people and talk with many people everyday on work so I want sometime alone to find my core and recharge... So please be sweet to him :) it's actually really good that he can identify this problem and knows how to solve it! By the way you look good and happy together, it's very positive to see young people like this today! Greeting from Greece 😘😘😘
Locking doors is usually suspicious activity can’t you just put a sign up when turned over that says working or in a meeting. That way you won’t start to feel uncomfortable about it. Even better would be to communicate that you will been in a meeting from blank to blank before hand that way you know to get anything you need before it starts. 30+ years or marriage here only exercising with my husband.
It sounds like she just needs to learn to knock before she comes in, especially the bathroom, and then he won't lock the door lol They just still have to learn how to live with someone. It's still very new.
I completely agree that openness about “exercising” is needed.people need good wholesome education about it because even though you should wait till marriage,it’s still a beautiful thing.God gave us “exercising” as a physical representation of joining together in marriage and he didn’t have to make it enjoyable but he did so there shouldn’t be shame in it✨
I give this marriage 7 years idk I want people to stay married but this doesn't seem right already with the fighting and locking doors hahaha god bless
Story time! don’t know if anyone will end up reading this though haha. I was raised in a very legalistic church that put a lot of value on never doing the “wrong thing” no matter what. My father walked in on me and my girlfriend when I was fifteen and didn’t really have a strong faith back then. She wasn’t wearing a top, which was the farthest things had ever gone even though it had been well over 6 months at that point. He immediately closed the door and yelled get your shirt on and stomped downstairs. Minutes later we both came down pale in the face super scared about what was going to happen. My dad was in the phone with her parents before even trying to have a conversation with us. “Come pick up your daughter, they were being impure in my house.” Which for the record her family was not nearly as religious and this was really confusing for her parents. After that, instead of sitting us down and having a conversation about values, morals, and our relationship to God and each other he split us up. “You both need to break up” he told me when we were alone. And then he called my mom and had her drive me directly to my youth pastors house in the middle of the week without context and told me I had to go confess my sins to him and that if I didn’t then he would cut off my relationship to this girl himself. So that’s how I ended up in tears at my youth pastors house, who I didn’t have a strong relationship with and also how I ended up having to tell my pastor about my sexual sin. He made me feel dirty about it and never looked at me the same way. I was supposed to be the leader in the relationship and how dare I do something like that before marriage. (Literally just feeling up some boobs). My father and youth pastor didn’t look at me the same for the rest of high school, at which point the church split up and my family finally left the place. I had to walk away from my faith because I had so many experiences like this growing up and it wasn’t till I went and served with Youth With A Mission (which I signed up for to get hands on medical experience) that I started to get to know God for who he actually is, loving, kind, bright, shameless, pure, beautiful, and peaceful. So let this just be an affirmation to somebody out there that even if you needed to step away from your faith for any reason, you have to respect yourself and what your going through, God doesn’t go anywhere even when we do and I know that my past experiences are my own and very human, not something to judge the character of God by. Anyways yeah: end of story, basically respect yourself and your journey and know that just because you’re in the church doesn’t mean that everything is good or even okay. What I went through was traumatizing and damaging but not defining. I’m in a very happy long term relationship and will propose someday hopefully soon, even despite the darkness that was in my past.
You guys are great! When Daniel mentioned India yelling from the balcony" I exercised today"! Reminds me of that Geico commercial where the lady puts that Fit bit on her dog's tail & says" look how fast I'm running!" Too funny!
He really isn’t comfortable talking about it. Which I understand ! his friends and family Watch my channel and so he’s cautious of what he talks about. So I’ll leave those types of conversations for our girl talks from here out (;
Not living or sleeping together before making a lifelong commitment to somebody?? I cannot even imagine.. I'm so glad I wasn't raised around purity culture or religion. No wonder so many people end up in unhappy marriages. You can't truly know somebody until you live with them
Yes, India, I completely agree with you! Sex in general in the church is either hugely demonized or hugely glorified in marriage as though it's some sort of amazing award to win that will change your life. I've always felt ashamed of my sexuality and tried to hide the fact that I felt so strongly because no one seemed to understand or care. I'm really glad that you aren't ashamed or scared to talk about it. But, I do have to say that I can also see Daniel's perspective, that it can be uncomfortable to talk about sex in group settings. I guess each person is different. :)
very refreshing to see your thoughts about living together before marriage and premarital sex. AND when you both agreed about God/Marriage/Spouse Bless you both
What if you saved yourself for marriage and after the wedding realized that you are not compatible intimately? I surely have not been happy with some of my partners ( not that there has been that many) and would have been devastated to be married to them only to find out.
Your husband is such a tool. i hope your ok with this....You should have someone who makes you feel good not constantly putting u down and complaining.
I'm catholic, so very different from most of christianity, but before we could receive the sacrament of confirmation, we all got a talking to about exercise from a priest. The church reviewed the topics that would be discussed with the parents a week beforehand, and my family had some views that differed, so it was a great opportunity for my mom and I to chat. I was 13. She did most of the chatting. But, the gist from my mom was fitness is not something to feel shame about. So, India and Daniel, I encourage to discuss what your message is first, and then work backwards into how much you need to share to convey that message.
OMG my husband does that to me with zoom meetings for work. I need to lock the door. Good idea. To resolve the spending/savings differences budget for allowances or fun money. India can save her fun money if she wants.
I’m the saver too while my husband likes to buy expensive nice things (though he is budget conscious). So funny how the stereotype is typically the opposite 🤷🏻♀️
I think he was more awkward/nervous in this Q & A due to the topic which made him more sarcastic and deflective. Their other videos are more relaxed and funny.
He kind of reminds me of my ex. A good guy with a good heart/intentions but EXTREMELY immature. He would hurt me with words, kind of similar to what Daniel does in this video, and then tell me it was just a joke or he was being sarcastic. All these small hurtful jabs that you laugh off in the moment add up and eventually I couldn't deal. I hope he is just trying to be a funny guy for the video and is not like this to you all the time.
I agree with you Christians need to talk more about exercise😉 and intimacy also about how to still have a good exercise life even if you didnt save yourself for marriage but became born again after and the intimacy issues that causes.
I don’t like how uncomfortable he is talking about the subject. I mean I get it but I don’t. I feel like he should understand why you want to share your experience.
idk i get why, it is an awkward topic and india is a very open person but this is out there for the internet and it's still so new to them so obviously daniel won't be completely comfortable
I think not everyone is comfortable with discussing their sex life online and making videos about it that their family and friends can see. it’s tricky because it’s “our” sex life and not just mine. if it was just mine, I’d tell details y’all wouldn’t even want to know 🤣 but it’s both of ours. So we have to find a way to meet in the middle and both of us feel comfortable 💛💛
I love that “tell all” aspect about your personality. Thanks for the response. I’m a Catholic married women myself so I love how open you are. Big fan ❤️
Men like to lock the bedroom door at night for security reasons. I’d prefer to keep the door open myself, but my man prefers to keep it closed and locked.
I love what you said about God :) I learned awhile ago that it’s like a triangle and God is at the top point. You are at one point at the bottom and your partner at the other. The only way to get closer to your partner is to get closer to God. & its very true! ❤️ love the video !!!
Omgggg I was dying because my husband (also a Daniel) had ALL the same complaints. I’ve crossed over to the light with the water glasses, but still EVERY once in a while the sandals issue comes up 😝 Do you know your enneagram or Myers-Briggs? I’m wondering if it has something to do with that...
LOL!! It’s so annoying how women are like “I truly only want to exercise with only you” and men’s respond is always “fine, I made an oath” implicating they wouldn’t if there weren’t rules. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I totally agree, it is especially weird when a Christian man puts it that way (in Christianity you're supposed to wait until marriage and be monogamous), because you'd think he'd have a different mindset... I love India tho, she is so pure and seems really in love.
Yup. I guess that’s just the way it is. I think it’s extremely rare to find a man that loves you like you’re the only one, most perfect and desirable woman, in the world.
Girl, please remind Daniel how lucky he is. He has WAY too many pet peeves - where you leave your shoes? Seriously? He locks doors? What? Your a beautiful, precious, sweet, kind girl and should be treated like a queen. Settle for no less!!! 😊
This comments just rude lol. Both have their problems I’d be prettt annoyed about the cups too lol. But it’s not that serious. They’re happy no one is perfect
@@jamiebowden4707 she is so sweet though, but like I said no ones perfect haha. Everyone has there things that bug people. My roomate leaves his beard hair all over the counter, I tell him; he’s not upset haha. Sorry if I came off rude haha
Living together for a couple years before even getting engaged is necessary to me. I need to know if we work well living together on a daily basis and our tolerance of being with each other constantly before the big commitment is made. The pet peeves y'all mentioned are things you would've already known and possibly could've worked on before getting engaged or married. (I'm not religious so totally understand Christian and other beliefs are different and that's okay!)
You’re right, it’s super important to talk about. The church does a terrible job talking about “exercising”. Mainly because today’s church is scared of the “s” word: sin. So they just avoid the topic altogether, leaving people completely without guidance in many respects.
India!!! Don’t feel bad about the shoe or water glass thing! 🤣 that’s literally me in a nutshell and my hubs is always telling me to clean up my shoes and glasses! 🤣
