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Martha Stewart Shows Stephen How To Garden With A Hammer 

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
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'Martha's Flowers' author Martha Stewart gives Stephen an R-rated gardening lesson.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

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5 мар 2018

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Комментарии : 248   
@DaveManPrice
@DaveManPrice 6 лет назад
holy shit colbert has such a knack for turning what would be a total snorefest into a hilarious moment of gold
@yashiAR
@yashiAR 6 лет назад
"So the hairy balls and the pussywillows go together" "Mimosa! Lets get hammered" 😂😂 Stephen is on fire throughout this.
@jeffs6090
@jeffs6090 6 лет назад
yashiWinchester - they make the kumquats.
@socrappyicoulddie
@socrappyicoulddie 6 лет назад
I feel like Colbert automatically reverts back to his character during these type of hokey segments, making them all the more entertaining.
@samwurdemann2637
@samwurdemann2637 6 лет назад
This has gotta be one of Stephen's best nights in a while.
@danielsmith683
@danielsmith683 6 лет назад
This is the most unique interview I've seen in a while. Very unexpected.
@Ravenhurst
@Ravenhurst 6 лет назад
I laughed so hard when he smashed that tulip. 😂😂😂
@peanutbutterjellyfish2665
@peanutbutterjellyfish2665 6 лет назад
I love Martha Stewart. Classy. Smart. Crafty. Street cred.
@jamesgoines7663
@jamesgoines7663 2 года назад
Well before Snoop
@wetlazer
@wetlazer 6 лет назад
This section of the show was better than when Letterman used to screw with the bit. and better than when O'Brien used to screw up the bit. Colbert clearly took time to use clever writing, and allowed Stewart in on the gag. Nice work people, nice work.
@badmanskill1112
@badmanskill1112 6 лет назад
"[Penguins] are the rats of Antarctica." LOL.
@AlizaJayne
@AlizaJayne 6 лет назад
Bad Man Skill “They’ll peck your eyes out!”
@amethystsamia
@amethystsamia 6 лет назад
The woman is unflappable! She is the BEST!
@Keallei
@Keallei 6 лет назад
Omg this is the best flower arrangement video ever! Stephen loves to hammer. Hahahahah
@rebecca8525
@rebecca8525 6 лет назад
He loves to hammer pussy...willows!
@AnnoyingKiwiDude
@AnnoyingKiwiDude 6 лет назад
Like Martha. She rocks
@danbowes
@danbowes 6 лет назад
Such a great segment lol. Stephen was killing it!
@chinookvalley
@chinookvalley 6 лет назад
Always loved and supported Martha. What a gal!
@scouser2010ify
@scouser2010ify 5 лет назад
I love how honest she is 😂
@msstephaniexiong
@msstephaniexiong 6 лет назад
i love martha. she's the best
@joyfulLulu
@joyfulLulu 6 лет назад
Oh my!! I laughed so hard I cried! And Those flowers are spectacular.
@scouser2010ify
@scouser2010ify 5 лет назад
I love Martha I think she’s under appreciated
@novafawks
@novafawks 6 лет назад
Martha is such a sweetheart!! Who doesn't love her?
@justfetus
@justfetus 6 лет назад
that's why her + Snoop is the greatest combo.
@Raincentral003
@Raincentral003 6 лет назад
Blue collar felons?
@21972012145525
@21972012145525 6 лет назад
Please, no one went to jail after the 2008 meltdown and hers was a much less crime
@Raincentral003
@Raincentral003 6 лет назад
s21972012145525 - Yeah buddy!! Two wrongs make a Right! If you are not an American, I proclaim you one now! Let's go buy some bombs off our other buddies, get some poor kids to 'serve their country' and kill some brown people to save a nickle on a gallon of gasoline, we'll call it "Operation Freedom", it's gonna sell believe me it's gonna sell, these people are idiots...................Martha Stewart, right!! Fuck that bitch.
@juliaconnell
@juliaconnell 6 лет назад
umm me - I don't like her very much
@YouTubeKnight
@YouTubeKnight 6 лет назад
Man! I remember the time when Martha used to come on the Conan's show when he was on NBC. That was the best!
@chrismagnelli5693
@chrismagnelli5693 6 лет назад
did not expect that to be so funny
@peanutbutterjellyfish2665
@peanutbutterjellyfish2665 6 лет назад
She went to prison what congressman do everyday, and can’t be investigated for.
@calebmatthews2026
@calebmatthews2026 6 лет назад
God I love Martha..... Talk about a fucking legend. Just totally commanding and epic. Talk about an institution of class
@meh23p
@meh23p 6 лет назад
I laughed way too hard at Stephen's hammering. :D
@davidvergara607
@davidvergara607 6 лет назад
Great job Martha Stewart
@kathybryant1788
@kathybryant1788 6 лет назад
Steven you made me blush. It was funny! I like Martha Stewart. I love me some Steven Colbert.
@arturod9134
@arturod9134 6 лет назад
Kathy Bryant llplppllpp 2
@din6675
@din6675 6 лет назад
He's so shady I love it
@joshuagayman1779
@joshuagayman1779 6 лет назад
This was so perfect!!!! LMAO
@guywolff
@guywolff 5 лет назад
Go Martha !!
@juliaconnell
@juliaconnell 6 лет назад
LOL do NOT let Stephen loose near a hammer
@Cancun771
@Cancun771 6 лет назад
The things they taught Martha in prison... 14 years ago: Martha Stewart went jailed because her financial adviser told her bad news was coming and she sold $230K in stock. *Today: it was discovered Trump-Buddy Carl Icahn dumped ~$32M in stock in a company reliant on steel imports in the days before Trump announced steel tariffs.* You have ONE guess who is gonna be left alone by the SEC and all the other law enforcement.
@Skyprince27
@Skyprince27 6 лет назад
Cancun771 OMG, Trump manipulates the stock market every day. His close friends must be making billions. Can you imagine what three hours of advance notice would have been worth, for example, the start of Trumpenfuhrer's trade war?
@Cancun771
@Cancun771 6 лет назад
Although I honestly believe he did that just on a frustrated whim and didn't even know _himself_ three hours in advance... and I can't even decide which is worse.
@Skyprince27
@Skyprince27 6 лет назад
Cancun771 JMHO: They're both worse than having a real president
@xmiller7691
@xmiller7691 6 лет назад
Stewart used some inside infomation to get rid of a stock that was going to lose value, so she went to prison. She wasn't in control of anything other than her own investment. Her crime amounts to nothing when compared with the fact that Ichan may well have personally overseen Trump's manipulation of the stock market through his role of "good buddy advisor".
@Skyprince27
@Skyprince27 6 лет назад
x Miller IMHO, this is the greatest example of stock market manipulation in the history of the human race: "... January 7, 2018… _The Stock Market has been creating tremendous benefits for our country in the form of not only Record Setting Stock Prices, but present and future Jobs, Jobs, Jobs. Seven TRILLION dollars of value created since our big election win!_ ..." mobile.twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/950105312782114817?lang=en *Wall Street tumbles again as S&P, Dow confirm correction* www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-stocks/wall-street-tumbles-again-as-sp-dow-confirm-correction-idUSKBN1FS1UG "... February 8, 2018... _U.S. stocks plunged anew on Thursday in another trading session with big swings, as equities remained in a tug-of-war with bond yields, volatility remained high, and investors failed to see a bottom of the market ahead_ . _The benchmark S&P 500 and the Dow industrials confirmed they were in correction territory, both falling more than 10 percent from their Jan. 26 record highs. The S&P 500 slumped 3.8 percent on Thursday, while the Dow dropped 4.2 percent as losses accelerated late in the trading day_ . ..." So basically, Trump told tens of millions of people who are to DUMB to know better, that a rising stock market represented rising intrinsic value. The GDP growth for 2017 was about 3%, but the S&P 500 was up 19% for the same period. But if Trump said that made sense, well, it made sense, to them!!!
@albalu151
@albalu151 6 лет назад
I knew this would be hilarious!!
@Mollywhop79
@Mollywhop79 6 лет назад
How do you not love Martha Stewart
@anthonyz9197
@anthonyz9197 6 лет назад
6:55 Colbert is checkin out Martha hardcore
@Leeohlin89
@Leeohlin89 2 года назад
Hehehe.. totally
@kylehiggins3216
@kylehiggins3216 6 лет назад
Hysterical!!!
@deeznutz-ox4xx
@deeznutz-ox4xx 6 лет назад
That look he gave her at the end lmao
@toothpastehombre
@toothpastehombre 6 лет назад
I have never laughed so hard at a Colbert segment - holy hairy balls
@coquio
@coquio 6 лет назад
This is vintage Colbert! I love it.
@shakescan
@shakescan 6 лет назад
Martha Stewart
@sagisli
@sagisli 6 лет назад
I love Martha
@ShayanGivehchian
@ShayanGivehchian 6 лет назад
If they had snoop over as well this would have been perfect
@ErykaSoleil
@ErykaSoleil 6 лет назад
They should have Colbert visit for one of their cooking sessions. XD
@PresidentUSVI
@PresidentUSVI 5 лет назад
She and snoop are perfect together. They will definitely have you laughing your ass off.
@Buenomars
@Buenomars 6 лет назад
That vase has a "dirty mind."
@cloggedaorta
@cloggedaorta 6 лет назад
I almost skipped this interview. I'm glad I didn't
@rosemarywilliams9969
@rosemarywilliams9969 6 лет назад
I like her and Snoop together on the cooking show :)
@Mollywhop79
@Mollywhop79 6 лет назад
This is great
@MelissaBrownapt215
@MelissaBrownapt215 6 лет назад
He is such a clown. I love him. I'll bet he cracks his wife up.
@MorganFrancophile
@MorganFrancophile 5 лет назад
Improv genius!
@TurbidTG1
@TurbidTG1 6 лет назад
She doesn't look 76! :o
@henniganjared
@henniganjared 6 лет назад
This fucking guy. Hahahahaha omg. "Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!!"
@bryan89wr
@bryan89wr 6 лет назад
Read the title as "Martha Stewart Shows Stephen How To Garden Hammered"
@abdullahal-malki3318
@abdullahal-malki3318 6 лет назад
that was so funny to watch
@carltons2278
@carltons2278 6 лет назад
Steven's brain at 6:56 "I could F*** you good Martha"
@puertoricanboy100
@puertoricanboy100 6 лет назад
Man I haven't had a good laugh, Stephen needs to do more comedy.
@ShayanGivehchian
@ShayanGivehchian 6 лет назад
puertoricanboy100 more ? That's all he does
@benzzoy
@benzzoy 5 лет назад
Colbert is Swedish Chef!
@mksabourinable
@mksabourinable 6 лет назад
So weird to see a plant from the the mimosa genus in an ARRANGEMENT. Like... they are popular houseplants because of their touch sensitivity - the leaves close up when touched. Also interesting that it wasn't the more popular mimosa pudica, tho I guess the one used looks nicer for an arrangement....
@stevenrepka
@stevenrepka 6 лет назад
This is like the Monty Python Flower Arrangement sketch
@DouglasBrown2014
@DouglasBrown2014 6 лет назад
btw Stephen, carnivores don't eat other carnivores (typically). Think of the meats that people eat - they are all herbivore animals. Even in the wild, tigers (lions, etc.) eat herbivores, they don't eat other meat eaters. This is in reference to Stephen's comment on Martha not eating penguins.
@J.Clig10
@J.Clig10 6 лет назад
Mr. Colbert, you should consider meeting Earnie Stewart. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earnie_Stewart. I met his cousin Mary in 1990 when I was in New York. This mostly for Stewart-Cohen 😀
@madisonamorim6458
@madisonamorim6458 6 лет назад
When he said “this can’t be as cold as the last place you were”, I was half expecting him to pull out a picture of prison...
@captainlongdongquivers4463
@captainlongdongquivers4463 6 лет назад
6:56 He is not a liar when he says she is beautiful. Just look at his face! lol
@gamefire74
@gamefire74 6 лет назад
i'll never forget her roast of justin bieber. too funny!
@abemagic10
@abemagic10 6 лет назад
wow . though segment rushed and shoehorned in , masterful SC hits a homerun
@pamelab8123
@pamelab8123 6 лет назад
LOLOL🤣
@alimackerali9259
@alimackerali9259 6 лет назад
👊
@AspenEmrys
@AspenEmrys 6 лет назад
FREEZING? but raining... that's cute
@BlakieTT
@BlakieTT 6 лет назад
Stephen was making the joke about her eating penguins, but yesterday, I was making a mental connection between penguins and porgs. lol
@BlakieTT
@BlakieTT 6 лет назад
Stephen - . Hahahahaha.
@philipcote4763
@philipcote4763 6 лет назад
Forget the flowers.... Who knew penguins were such a menace!! Breaking news...
@kathleenrobertson67
@kathleenrobertson67 6 лет назад
reminds me of "flower arranging with Dr. Gumby..(montypython)
@lazyperfectionist1
@lazyperfectionist1 6 лет назад
😃😄Hahahah. I can now, officially, say that I have seen Stephen handle hairy balls on television.
@samsonian
@samsonian 6 лет назад
BORK BORK BORK!!
@grandmachristine42
@grandmachristine42 6 лет назад
I had no idea mimosas could be yellow. Nice.
@brianthomas8411
@brianthomas8411 6 лет назад
I think snoop dogg has been a bad influence on her. Lmao
@amyashley3182
@amyashley3182 6 лет назад
Brian Thomas She's the FELON lol
@jeeither
@jeeither 6 лет назад
I think it's the other way around, I think he drinks a lot more since he's been cooking with her.
@drjekyll82
@drjekyll82 6 лет назад
I'm sure Snoop's flower arrangement is aromatic when lit
@mew5395
@mew5395 6 лет назад
shes always made dirty remarks lol
@gabriellabaires780
@gabriellabaires780 6 лет назад
Fuck it up Martha
@DiogoF.
@DiogoF. 6 лет назад
I wish the world could be as classy as her. I hate vulgarity.
@ingloriousbasterd3067
@ingloriousbasterd3067 6 лет назад
I sure wish Colbert would ask Martha to show off her prison tattoo...She's still wearing her female prison blues so you know she's proud and representin'.
@andrineslife
@andrineslife 6 лет назад
It's her 90th book, I can't really blame her for running out of topics.
@nathanlerud3985
@nathanlerud3985 6 лет назад
They released albums in 2006 2002 1999 and 2009. If the 9s were originally suppose to represent numbers all those number tie in to what I'm saying
@rosemaryj.stanek5492
@rosemaryj.stanek5492 6 лет назад
Stephen Colbert - do you know Prager U is the lead in ad to your RU-vid clips?
@The1AndOnlyGoldenboy
@The1AndOnlyGoldenboy 6 лет назад
Just in case anyone is interested... there are about 18 different species of penguin. No Arctic or Sub-Arctic species are in danger, however, the species outside of the blistering cold Arctic regions are a different story. A lot of the species that are found in New Zealand and Africa are threatened. Also, it kind of seems like Stephen was disappointed that there wouldn't be any food, so he just sort of did whatever he wanted. I'm more than fine with it though.
@29maurice
@29maurice 6 лет назад
Penguins in the Arctic? Nope. Learn before you teach.
@29maurice
@29maurice 6 лет назад
There's no such thing as " Southern Arctic Ocean". Relax, breathe through your nose, and look it up. Also, learn before you teach, next time.
@morrisonsrocks
@morrisonsrocks 6 лет назад
It's called the Southern Polar Sea or just Southern Ocean, opposed to the Arctic Ocean in the north, which, depending from what language you come from, could be translated as Southern and Northern Arctic Ocean. But the Arctic is really only on the northern hemisphere (arctos, greek for bear, star constellation above North Pole), the Antarctic is called like that, because it's located opposite from the Arctic (Anti-Arctic). They are both polar regions though, I think that's what you meant. It's pretty common using arctic for both, just to describe the climate, but professionally speaking only the northern part is arctic, the southern pole is antarctic. So I really hope this just occurred because of translation issues and everything's cool now, no need for bleepable words anymore. And I had the chance to throw a piece of knowledge out there :D Oh, and sub-arctic is also only on the northern hemisphere. Only penguins in zoos there (and a few on Galapagos). The other thing is, again, called sub-antarctic :)
@blynn4734
@blynn4734 6 лет назад
The1AndOnlyGoldenboy
@lionmenmusic6144
@lionmenmusic6144 6 лет назад
Funniest episode
@nathanlerud3985
@nathanlerud3985 6 лет назад
On top of rhcp performing at lolapalooza on my birthday they released Brendan s death song the year after brandon killed himself In guess... 2011 a source I found at the Iowa city va said thst was the year vet suicide went to 22 a year
@BlakieTT
@BlakieTT 6 лет назад
Hammer... (I think of stereotypical "hard labor" in jail, in cartoons).
@alanpyne896
@alanpyne896 6 лет назад
Stephen, you forgot your mustache and handkerchief.
@katraylor
@katraylor 6 лет назад
Stephen's hammer bit was starting to remind me of HowToBasic.
@FIONAFINKS
@FIONAFINKS 6 лет назад
stephen i can listen to you talk about LOTR aaaalll day but arranging flowers puts me right to sleep ZZZzzzz
@deegio7755
@deegio7755 6 лет назад
Lol
@IxumtheNaughty
@IxumtheNaughty 6 лет назад
Oh so cute! She came in her prison outfit
@nathanlerud3985
@nathanlerud3985 6 лет назад
2*
@somanoma6465
@somanoma6465 6 лет назад
Why did you eat that Stephen? Now your poop will be filled with petals
@weatherwaxogg
@weatherwaxogg 6 лет назад
He can barely contain his disdain for her. Flowers and fury. :-)
@ROBERTJOHNV
@ROBERTJOHNV 6 лет назад
If I had a show , I wouldn't let convicts on to get any more publicity
@mech5
@mech5 6 лет назад
Was that a Covington House hammer?
@PaullyMiller
@PaullyMiller 6 лет назад
Did Stephen say 'Damn, girl'?
@fluffmcmuff6801
@fluffmcmuff6801 6 лет назад
Raining in Antarctica? Hmm...
@mattviverette
@mattviverette 6 лет назад
Channeling Letterman--FINALLY.
@laur2139
@laur2139 6 лет назад
🤣😳🤣😳
@noisesoundtonevibe
@noisesoundtonevibe 6 лет назад
I thought she was polishing the brass on the Titanic...
@kalevala29
@kalevala29 6 лет назад
He's doing Letterman shtick. Kinda dumb. Martha is always a good sport.
@Jayess-c
@Jayess-c 6 лет назад
Stephen tried to upstage Martha but hers still looked better lmao.
@christopherbarber5283
@christopherbarber5283 6 лет назад
oh man these comments are LOONEY
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