MASTER CHEEKS GETS DOWN & DIRTY! SO HOT!! - Halo: TV Series Ep8 Review 

Joe has kept his armor on longer than “Chief” has In the show.

Master Chief: “… protect humanity no matter the cost.” Master Cheeks:”… clap humanity’s cheeks no matter the cost.”

I don't think I've ever anticipated a video as much as this LMAO

I remember playing Halo just for the sex levels. The series was very faithful to the source material.

I love how they took Master Chief, a man who is the perfect soldier in every way, and turned him into an impulsive idiot

It's funny how The Mandalorian feels like a better representation of Master Chief than the Master Chief in his own show.

The moniker “Master Cheeks” is the best thing to come out of this series

As someone who's only seen the first episode and then watched your reviews, here's what I understand is happening: -Kwan -Helmetless Chief -Master Cheeks -Energy Sword Coke Nail -More Kwan -Stupid space trolleys -UNSC financial arguements -Mystic space colonist cult -Cortana is the next evolution of Spartans -Master Chief sex scene What's not happening: -Literally anything to do with Halo

Master chief in the games: “I need a weapon!” Master chief in tv show: “I need therapy and sex”

I think one of the most insanely frustrating things about this show. Why it's so FUCKING frustrating... is because Halo ISN'T complicated. It is NOT a complex story. It should have been a walk in the fucking park to adapt, because it is so direct. There is alien faction, alien faction wants to wipe out the human race, humanity and aliens find giant superweapon, race to deny the aliens the chance to activate it. That's literally game one. They could have their entire first season be this super basic story, and then over the next seasons do the digging into "okay, the UNSC is actually kind of fucked up." They could give us more history of the Spartan 2 program, could have shown us the Spartan 3s, who are utterly fucked and make the UNSC look incredibly evil.. Just, there's so much that could and should have been done differently.

funny how we’ve pretty much seen the chief naked more than how much we’ve seen him in his armour lmao

You know how incompetent a writer is when they can't convey emotions through a helmet/mask. Like why the fuck, every 3 meters, master cheeks keeps removing his helmet then wears it again. Mandalorian did it right... And by god, it was glorious.

No, last episode would be a 10/10 if in the greatest twist ever, we find out "John" is actually a flash clone, used to test the Mk. 6 and the Real Master Chief drops in with odsts, lands ontop of Kwan, kills "John" and assumes control of Silver Team, gets Cortona in his head, and saves the day.

I love when OJ's first words are, "called it. I called it." because he actually did in the last episode lol.

I hope Bollywood makes season 2. Imagine master chief dancing for 59 minutes a week on a halo ring. Best halo story ever.

"Master Cheeks, you mind telling me what you're doing on that woman?" "Sir. Finishing."

Remember when we all thought that Halo 5 was considered the lowest point the franchise could reach in terms of writing? I miss those days too...

Masterchief has always had a love interest. Her names Cortana. The entire point is that he develops deep feelings for her through how she teaches him to be more human, to not just be a weapon. The best possible romance, a machine teaching a human how to love and accept who he is not what he was made. The fact Cortana isn't a physical being also makes the love he shows her more genuine because it isn't built on sleezy sex scenes like this dumb ass fucking show

This review beats the entire actual show. Absolutely laughed my ass off with this review.

This show is officially beyond saving. How no one is actually expecting this to make it past season 2 and I'm incredibly disappointed with 343 for allowing this to happen and That is not Master Chief, and nor is this Halo.

8 episodes of this, watching these reviews instead of the show... and for every single one, Alex has perfectly mirrored my expressions. I love it.

>Knows what sex is >Never wears his armor and reveals his face to everyone >Doesn't shill his holographic waifu Not my Halo

The Halo series's writing makes Halo 5 look like a masterpiece

I remember playing through the Bungie Halo games and always thinking there wasn't enough booty and sex. That was always my biggest complaint with the games. Thanks to CBS for fixing that glaring problem.

Master Cheif: Sir, Permission to leave the station Admiral hood: For what purpose. Master Chief: To give the Covenant girl some of this dong. Admiral Hood: Permission granted

The original "love" interest was Cortana, because as an AI she was ironically teaching Chief to be more human, whereas Chief being the Human started off more machine-like.

"We need a redemption arc for Makee, any ideas?" "She gets banged by Master Chief!" "Genius!"

Guard: "Hey Chief, what are you doing with that enemy spy?" Chief: "Hopefully getting lucky." Guard: "Ah, carry on."

I remember in a Halo 2 featurette one of the developers talked about how one of the reasons Chief is so badass is that he doesn't want or need the girl, he just wants and needs to do his job, this whole series just makes me want to go back and play halo 2

I love how Joe takes this stuff so personal, we need more like him.

I'm still in shock. Instead of bringing Halo to life, they beat it to death.

"We need to run!" *pulls down pants* Master cheeks: "No, we need to clap"

1) Spartans in the actual timeline have NO emotional inhibitor. They have every single emotion that a normal person has. The only thing they have is supreme control over them and the fact that they've been indoctrinated since childhood to be soldiers has mentally shaped them to be overall less prone to emotional outbursts. But do not get confused they do get emotional. Spartans have been shown to cry in the actual lore. 2) Halsey in the actual lore is also a civilian but because of her involvement in the Spartan program and her high standing within the Office of Naval Intelligence she still exerts a great deal of control over the Spartan 2s. 3) Spartans, due to their augmentations also have a repressed sex drive. Now while that doesn't mean it's impossible for them to have sex it is pretty much unthinkable, especially in this stupid manner. 4) Spartans fighting each other? Really?

When a huge part of the original Halo series is a subtle reciprocated love between a hologram and a institutionalised soldier, a love that is so subtly played it isn't clear whether it's romantic or plantonic, and so tastefully done where it doesn't even matter, this shit is truly laughable. No one should be watching this, even morbidly 😂

Never has chief shown his face this often or removed his armour, and had a scene like this in any halo lore. He's stoic, quiet, doesn't say a whole lot and he was close with cortana, she was the only person he really bonded with. Highly doubt he was interested in dipping his wick... Cringe TV. Also Spartans can't just climb out of their armour ffs a machine has to fully remove it I believe

Sex with a POW is a literal war crime. Well done Master Cheeks.

Let's not forget that she was also a prisoner of war, so Master Chief entered a prisoner's cell, and had intercourse with them. That's a war crime. The power dynamic is so seriously different that she couldn't possibly consent. If you are a prisoner and a guard enters your cell with the intention to have intercourse with you, yeeeeaaaaaah, they will get what they want no matter what you do.

They went through over 250 scripts and drafts and this shit is the best they could come up with.....

Hearing joe explain what is happening in the show is better than the show itself, change my mind

"This timeline is Stupid" needs to be a shirt. Applicable in sooooo many situations. lol

When I said I wanted a scene of Master Chief delivering a bomb to the Covenant hanger (like in halo 2) this isn't exactly what I meant

1:03 Alex's facial expressions sum everything up on how I view this series 😂

Rather give my money to you guys than a show dragging a franchise through the dirt 😂

11:25 I love how Alex's head just goes "wtf did I just hear?!" It had me laughing a lot more than I think is normal

Oh boy just when I thought this show couldn't get any worse😂

"The disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined" Me at every ep of halo so far, can't wait for the new lotr show to put me closer to the edge of insanity, happy to share this fun ride with others

My favourite part of the Halo Games has always been when Masterchief gets it on... 😮‍💨

This is the era of fanfictions infesting the entertainment industry and attempting to become canon. Seriously, stuff like this reminded me of how terrible many fanfictions were. Shit gets changed for the sake of being different and plots become unbearable. I used to think "ah man, it least it was just a shitty fanfiction", but we're seeing more "alternate realities" in big budget shows now.

My wife doesn't know the Halo games, but agreed to watch the show with me. Even her, with no prior knowledge whatsoever, turned to me during that scene and said "WTF is that?" She said to me that this felt completely wrong in the context of the series. I replied: "The internet will explode over this..." ;)

Just when you thought the “Halo” show couldn’t get any worse and more cliche, Master Cheeks “interrogates” the prisoner lol

You know, up until now, I've been able to accept that this TV series is _not_ going to be like the books or the games. Being a level headed guy, I don't generally get outraged over things like movies, video games or entertainment in general. But even I have to draw the line at the Chief boning. That's something I'm reasonably certain no Halo fan ever wanted or needed to see, outside of kinky fanfic. Which is exactly what this contrived piece of crap episode came off as 🤦‍♂️ Seriously, who wrote this shit? I don't know whether to to laugh (which I did) or get upset (which I also did)

Can we talk about how they just let Makee into the same room as the artefact. Is this not meant to be a secure military base?

The CHEEKS SAGA CONTINUES DOUBLE CHEEKED UP ON THIS THURSDAY EVENING

This shit right here is why even other writers call Hollywood writers hacks. This is lazy, pathetic, and just bad. The writers that wrote this script _and_ the producers and director that approved have never played a single minute of any Halo game and only skimmed the plot and character summaries 343 gave them. This isn't just a bad Halo adaptation, it's a bad story period. This level of writing would have never seen the light of day if it wasn't attached to the Halo IP. What really pisses me off is that if you strip away the Halo IP, it's just another generic Hollywood "humans are bad and awful" sci-fi series that they've been shitting out for the last 20 years. Just heaps and heaps of negativity without a single sign that humanity can be better. Maybe the writers need to go outside and touch grass and lay off the self-medicating they look to be doing. EDIT: Anyone else checking on this video repeatedly, just waiting for when CBS takes it down?

Writers of the show: Master Cheeks needs a love interest. The one person who played the games: Waaait, isnt Cortana like his love interest cause of how he felt and missed her in Halo 4? Writers: NO, FORGET THAT, HUMAN FEMALE COVENANT MEMBER

My mom friggin loves the show. That told me everything I needed to know.

I’m with Alex the only thing that can save this show at this point is if the Covenant comes in and kills every single person.

Friendly reminder that Chief disobeyed orders even with the chip still in his body. (Refused to kill Kwan in episode 1) Kai showed to be questionning orders even with the chip still in her body. (Questioned Chief about going alone with Kwan in episode 1, which made Chief repeat the order.) Riz and Vannak have no excuses, they're not Star Wars clone troopers. Soren had the chip inside his body when he defected, he removed it after fleeing. Didn't stop him from actually defecting.

I can’t believe Noble Team, and Noble Six, are all about to sacrifice their lives for Reach. Just because Master Chief wanted his pee pee frolicked. This show is absolute heresy.

Every time I see Alex look like he could absolutely destroy something but hold himself back, I know It's instantly 1 of the best episodes. I want an Alex angry rant on anything just calling out everything wrong no matter how minor the detail.

The moment they started getting close to each other I was like I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR THE REACTIONS TO THIS WEEK’S EPISODE.

Everyone: It can’t get THAT much worse can it? OJ: Oh it can… and I called it.

And here we go. The Fall of Reach was all because Chief clapped some cheeks.

This episode: Human-Covenant Spy betrayed Covenant after slept with Master Chief; Dr. Halsey betrayed UNSC with Spartan Silver Team; Cortana betrayed Dr. Halsey; Kai betrayed Silver Team and Dr. Halsey; Covenant spy betrayed Master Chief again in the end of the episode. Great story!👏👏👏 Only loyal guy is the tech assistant who want to sleep with Dr. Halsey always......

I love how some people defended the show at the start and they said that you will have to wait a couple episodes and it would start getting better. Well that aged like milk

Man I've been waiting to see Joe's reaction to this episode lol

Master Cheeks broke the number one rule: 'Don't stick your plasma cannon in crazy'.

Fellow lord of the rings fans, prepare yourselves for the same treatment and disrespect in the Amazon series. Don’t waste your time watching that trash when it comes out

Lord Hood: " Master Chief, would you mind telling me what you're doing with that Alien Spy" MasterChief: "Sir, finishing the cheeks"

"Master Chief you mind telling me what are you doing behind Makee?" "Sir, I'm finishing inside her."

The Halo TV show should have started out where the first book started out: Halsey and Keyes awaking from cryosleep in a small ship. Keyes doesn't know why he's there, only that he's to escort this civilian scientist. She tells them they are going to a planet to observe a boy (later revealed to be Master Chief). It would be a great opening, it would hook the viewer's interest. The first few episodes would cover the abductions and subsequent brainwashing involved in the Spartan 2 program. It would cover the UNSC's fight against the insurrectionists and rebels, and how the Spartan program was conceived as a desperate response to this conflict. 4 or so episodes in, it is revealed that an encounter has left the planet of Harvest, completely eradicated. At first the UNSC thought it may have been more rebel activity, but it turns out it's a new threat: a technologically advanced alien race with the capacity to glass worlds. There you have it: A sci-fi story that both inspires conversations about ethics while also dealing with a mysterious threat to humanity. The books were basically saying "Make me great!!!!". They were ripe for the picking instead of going with this asinine bullshit.

And that's when master chief picked up the art of teabagging .

Paramount blundered this series so hard, they had an entire fandom gifted to them on a silver platter, and instead they made a show NOBODY likes

Just imagine what this show couldve been. We could have gotten a boots on the ground war arch with the Spartans and the covenant. Could only imagine

I knew it was gonna be bad when the studio was throwing out that non-canon SiLveR TiMeLinE crap before the show even came out. I didn't anticipate it would be "Chief clapping prisoner cheeks while Cortana watches" bad. This has gone full fanfiction at this point.

I about died when I heard, "don't be afraid, take my cheeks" 🤣🤣🤣

When he was getting his ass beat by his own Spartans, i wonder if Master Cheeks thought to himself “fuck I wish I LEFT MY ARMOR AND HELMET ON!!!!” This show is such a dumpster fire

Never been interested in watching the show, but these reviews have been so damn entertaining. Well done, lads! takin one for the team lol

This deserves a class action lawsuit. This is false advertising. This isn't Halo. This is the really long beginning of a bad porno. Lol

I stopped watching the show 3 episodes ago, but am hooked to these recaps. These are waaaay more entertaining than the show itself. You have drama (CBS blocks), action (the actual reactions), and comedy.

Dude one of the best things about chief, like reading a book, is that you can leave what he may look like to a vague imagination. Makes him more mysterious and badass. Every time I see this guy’s face I just go “blah”. I mean seriously. He isn’t master chief. Stop this madness.

Yesterday was the first moment I got genuinely angry watching this. It hit me just how shit this show was and how nearly 15 years of waiting for a show was for NOTHING.

Star Trek, a show about talking, gets the budget for big space battles. Halo, ostensibly about an alien war, is nothing but talking and occasional Power Rangers schlock. What is Paramount smoking.

Master Cheeks gets me everytime

Alright. That's it. I'm going to make it my life's mission to make a Halo show and do it right. I am going to pivot my entire degree from automotive engineering into film and I'm going to spend the next 10 years or so of my life hatching a plan to get greenlit to be the director of a Halo show and I'm going to do it all with the express purpose of making it good and shitting all over paramount's mess.

The crazy thing about the Halo series is that it's a military story. That would've been incredible to see on a long form show. If they took the source material seriously it could've rivaled a show like Game of Thrones without obvious imitation.

Even in alpha timeline I’m quite confident that an emotional inhibitor was never part of the spartan augmentation. They were raised as soldiers there would probably be no need to inhibit emotions as that would not only likely have hormonal consequences but they probably have their emotions relatively in check even in the most stressful situations due to extensive training for their entire lives.

You guys didnt mention that when Halsey called the spartans they showed a scene when they are getting their armour on in the machine... it was lucky that 117 had a portable version of that machine on the pirate planet because he was taking his suit off like it was going out of fasion!!! 🤦🏻🤦🏻

This show literally has Master Chief beginning the fall of reach by banging a POW 😂😂. How can anyone defend this rubbish?

The only woman for chief was supposed to be cortana that's what made the connection so unique because she was an AI and he was a human and they had a bond beyond physical contact. Outright character assassination.

24:00 funnily enough, there is a way to show a space battle in a series WITHOUT showing the actual battle to save on "effects" for the space battle; have it take place in a command room with total silence to build up the tension and break it up with the occasional com chatter from the ships in the battle and orders issued by the commander (like in the Expanse).

Off topic: did joe actually make that sound effect out of his mouth 11:24? That was pretty impressive. It sounded like an actual electric weapon!

It's been 4 minutes, and there's already more than a thousand people who've watched this. Impressive. I guess everyone's watching it before CBS shuts it down again lol

And to think at one stage we could’ve had Neill Blomkamp and Peter Jackson involved in a Halo series/Movie. How times have changed… (look at halo landfall)

13:00 I just like to point out that John chose not to kill Kwan on his own (and against orders) in episode 2 before he took out his emotional suppressor in the next episode. Kai-125's decision to remove her emotional suppressor was also totally voluntary. Seems to me like they are not just mind controlled robots.

Master Cherry: "Don't be afraid...TAKE MY CHEEKS! HUGH! HUNH! HUGH!!!"

Chief fighting and shooting against his own team that he considers as his family was the last straw for me. This show has been a huge let down for me, and I didn't even expected much from it since they declared the story is not connected from the games and books. And I thought The Witcher Series is bad. -10/10 P.S. If you're new to Halo and you are you're searching for a Halo-themed movie or series, I recommend Halo: Legends and Halo: Forward Unto Dawn. Halo: Legends is AWESOME and while Forward Unto Dawn has its own faults, it has at least captured the essence of what is like living in a Halo Universe. ALSO, IF YOU STILL CAN'T GET OVER THIS TRASH HEAP OF A SERIES, JUST BUY THE NEW HALO: ENCYCLOPEDIA. TRUST ME, IT'S WORTH A BUY.

They've crossed a line they can never come back from. As a lifelong fan of the universe this is just, I can't describe how insulting this is.

"How does Master Chief have sex!?!" Very carefully Joe. Very carefully

This is Rey&Kylo all over again. On the All-time podium of character murder, what Disney did to Luke is Gold, and this is Silver