Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast Ep. 50 - Bert's Guide to Surviving Prison [Oct. 12, 2017] 

Bro we need Bert back on the cast. All I’ve heard is Matt say he got out of jail again he was in for all of Covid and he got a hella good job making 55 bucks an hour changing led lights all around the country hahaha

“Now the rape’n ain’t like it used to be”

The "wutter" count is through the roof this episode.

Ok cool, not Bert kreischer

this gotta be a top 5 MSSP episode

This ep made me super grateful for not being in prison

Shouts out my youngboys

My cousin took a 14 year “vacation” at MCI-Shirley in Massachusetts. This dudes outlook on life and story delivery reminds me of the time my cousin opened up to me about his prison experience. He hit the nail on the head, us “free” people take so many things for granted. A safe bed, decent food, AC, normal human interaction etc. BUT most importantly, hope. 10/10 cast

Shane was on his phone too much this ep. “Oh fuck, I missed that story” like 3 times at least 😆

One of the better casts, this guest ruled

Lol I’m just imagining a guy in a jumpsuit getting so high he packs his stuff up and says goodbye while still locked in a cell. Like bro we just did mind altering drugs... sit down 😂

Saw a couple "this guy sounds like " comments. He just sounds like he needs water to counteract the weed

Bert NEEDS to come back on. He had so much good shit they had to breeze past

Hotdog day must have been lit

Man, it's so sad how exciting prison stories are. Great stuff

Idk how I haven't heard this one yet, shout out to bert. Hope your life has come together for you brother

Hottest ep. This was super informative and really interesting to see a different perspective on things

"So I had to kick alot" quote of the year

Shane: An you can just leave? Bert: Yea you can just leave l, but you gotta run from it cause of they catch you it's bad LMAO 🤣

Bro he's not joking about K2. I watched normal fit dudes get addicted to it. Next thing they were having seizures, getting carted out in an ambulance. Which also means goin down the road to prison.

*I did 5 years (08-13) and it gives me anxiety listening to the process. Good story teller tho. Good ep.*

Lol! "They was giving me shit in court saying I'm lying and shit... well yeah I had violated parole had a bunch of sanctions, showed up on drugs"

What’s up all my dawgs who are here after the patreon update from Bert

Oh God I avoided this episode the whole time because I thought it was annoying ass not funny at all Bert Kreisher.

I did the same thing, agreed to be a CI after getting caught with 300 oxy 30mg, blew the cops off for 6 months, the detective who I was supposed to work with gets caught stealing money from drug dealers, I get sentenced and get less time that what my deal would of been as a CI which was also less than the detective I was supposed to work with got.

fascinating ep. Whoever says MSSP isn't a good pod, this some insightful deep shit. GOddamn best guest

I’ve listened to every episode and this is the best one

It sounds like someone is stirring Mac and chee in the background every time Bert opens his mouth.

Bert sounds normal until he gets to the drug court stuff 😂 I been through the system and its straight savage stupidity to get 13 sanctions in 28 days with years on the line

"I've never been in the hole, I've been in hole-like situations""

This dude is awesome! Let's get him back on!

Was expecting a typical hot cast and got high level informativecast!

kind of sounds like telly from KIDS

This was a really good podcast episode. Couldn’t stop listening.

I'm trying to remember the episode where they were talking about brat correction I know it's been in several episodes

Good episode

Going to prison gives you amazing stories

Damn this intro caught me off guard 🤣

Bert’s got a classic case of mouth goo

Certified hood classic episode

Bro HOW GREAT IS THIS EP????!?!?!?!?!

I'm having some good ol fashion county flash backs listening to this!

Great ep

get Bert back on here he's one of your best guests

Not me looking sideways at my Wellbutrin bottle after hearing this cast 👀👀

thanks you for chastising us matthew😎😂

Bert and Tommy together on MSSP would be the craziest episode fucking ever. They sound damn near the same

I was a rat but hey they got nothing outta me 😂😂 wtf lol

Yoooo more burt

All time ep

Been there done that. Will never never go back again. Btw in florida they call it "family meal" and yes it does taste great

Bruh I live within 10 miles of George hill and the stories I hear about it absolutely line up especially as far as the suicides go.

This guy kinda sounds like Robert whittaker

Fire episode

Legendary cast. Of all time

I could have sworn there was video for this

Bro!!! Take a sip of water🤦🏼‍♂️

Stingin up some chi chis

Such a good episode. County sucks 😂

Dudes dry mouth is killing me

This is fucking amazing.

I fucking love this guy

Why was Matt kinda trying to rush this conversation & constant interruption 😭

53:28 "My young boy in the county was gonna pluck me" "plucks are expensive" What is a pluck in this context?

1:47:23 lmao. Dude wasnt even away that long but probably never heard of GOT. Imagine dudes doing years... Come home with smart phones and internet like its 2055

Hahah Matt is great, but for this kid being his boy, and knowing the story, he was butchering it, having him skip over so much of his story by saying “so fast forward”. Thank God for Shane on this one

This Luzerne parole violation place.. is it up in luzerne county? Why would he be put up there?

haha I used to do the drug tests for guys that were in drug court and all that court-mandated treatment.

8 mins in and I’m lovin the episode already but take a drink of water my guy, god damn… dude’s cottonmouth is vicious

As a fellow Bert I approve of this fella. Bring him back

Real shit

Fuckin locked up intro goes hard

55:39

He was basically John gotti lol

i wanna go to prison because i need a boyfriend, help

Interesting shit

Anyone thinking this guy sounds exactly like Jackie Aprile Jr?

Awesome

I used to be a corrections officer and I it’s funny hearing an inmates perspective vs an officer. I can attest that all he’s saying is on point. Crazy world corrections is. And yeah we hide a lot of stuff to the public. Especially suicides and other “mysterious deaths” ( officers beating inmates to death totally is a thing, that’s all I can say about that. My first day on the job I had a swinger where I was blowing air in a dead body for two hours until we could get a security clearance for a doctor to pronounce him dead because we can’t do it. Rougher job than even being a combat soldier. Crazy life. Good times. That was my first real job after college and boy did I grow a thick skin real quick.

So glad it's not Bert kreischer

This guy could be yalls coco. Dude wouldn't even say thank you

Half baked Kenny

Wooder!

Where’s ep 51 at dawg?

Mayne

55:39 Ebola iprrr

11:11

Prison stories are dope. Check out Lockdown23&1

What his name mane?

Bro the guy who ate his shit was this guy on tik tok

Is this guy related to spud? They sound very similar

Hot cast

When you get there you are on 22 and 1 which means the gov steals an hour of the day from you and the other one you get to spend showering, whatever

Where can I see a photo of this dude?? #bringbertback

Soup dawgs

Why is lsd not more common in prison

This iscool

Fuck!!! That Was Hilarious!!! These Young Bulls grew up thru this cast!!!!!

So much soul in this story so much hardship, the journalist will ignore Phil’s troubles dealing with the crooked system and all they will take from this is Matt saying “muslim bitches” are you okay?

Bart Sissim tattoo. Bart Simsim tattoo