Legit, I think he noticed the jokes that made Shane, Tim and Theo laugh out loud the last few episodes. The turning point was the Jew joke he made with Shane Gillis a month ago and Shane was like “whoa, play that Kanye song cause you’re going to jail tonight.” lmao You can see the sincere happiness on his face when a joke lands, he’s for sure been working on that recently. I’m happy for him.
Even if you make it to the point of getting your pants down and you use an entire roll of 1 ply cleaning up the mess, countless flushes... That's still a win sometimes.
If you’ve never passed a highway sign in the middle of nowhere that says next exit 120 miles and you feel a giant shit come on fast while a new girl is sitting in the passenger seat you haven’t really lived.
@@acies9408Matt held it down for shane while he was getting his career going. Matt was paying his rent and helping with his bills etc. true bro shit right here and they both deserve it all
I was about 10 minutes from work when a 45 second countdown appeared above my head. If you want to cultivate instant transcendental focus, have diarrhoea on your way to somewhere important. I used *every* trick; self talk ("my mind controls my body- it's okay x 100"), calming nose breaths, stopping every few feat to fortify my defences, etc.. I got to the toilet and just before I dropped my pants, I gave out. My cheeks were the only thing stopping the ocean of brown. I had to aim and squat in one motion or it was all for naught. The devil's shotgun blast sullied the back of the toilet. cleaning it was a nightmare, it ended up places you wouldnt think. But I had emerged victorious, but changed.
2 weeks ago I was driving my gf home from a date and the need to shit presented itself in urgency. I sped up to try to get to her place on time but not even 2 minutes later, the urgency multiplied x100. It was night and there were no gas stations or restaurants around, so I turned into a random office/warehouse complex and decided to look for a bush. I hopped out the car and noticed a portapotty 100 yards away across a dirt field. I ran as fast as I could and was able to make it in time. I’ve never felt so blessed in my life until that day. As someone with ibs-d and who’s had shit myself multiple times before, this day I knew the shit gods were looking over me.
Bro this part of the podcast is so relatable and I love it. I shit my pants during my lunch break in my car, I was smoking and when I coughed that’s when it happened. I called my manager and told him I had an emergency I couldn’t come back. First time I tell this story so your welcome mofos
@@edp3202if you drink over 20you will shit liquid the next day😂 not proud to say I know from long term experience. I didn’t fart for over a year unless I was on the toilet
It’s because your body knows that you’re gay if you’re drinking Bud Light, so it’s trying to clear your ass out before your boyfriend comes over. You can’t be smuggling solids before a date.
i always thought shitting urself was like this close to impossible thing... then it happened to me. i just got off work and went for a walk in the forest while smoking my joint. i felt a semi big fart coming and i ripped it. instant regret. had to strip in the middle of the forest, took my underwear off and just threw it in there and walked back home without underwear lmao..... ill never make fun of someones "accident" again
For 18 months after I had my first child I would have the issue of my stomach hurting and I had about 45 seconds to get to the bathroom. It was wild. Thank God I was a stay at home mom. But I definitely crapped my pants a few times walking my baby in the stroller around the neighborhood. I'm so happy that stopped!
*Imagine the one reddit user who got in trouble for not posting a "factual" story about working at a car wash when Joe Rogan brought in his car after taking a crap all over the inside of it...*
Up until 34 i never thought i would crap myself. I came into work ,drank some water out of the water tower with the lil cone cups. I got cob webs on my mouth and felt something go down with the water. I didn't think much of it until about 2 hours later when i got the red alert gurgles and pain. I was driving a semi and parked it on an overpass and ran to a little gas station feeling all pale like i was gonna pass out. As soon as i took one step into the gas station i crapped myself. I was wearing shorts with boxers so a lil bit plopped on the floor. When i sat down it looked like nutteala all over. I shamefully tossed my draws and learned a lesson. Carry spare underwear ,socks and shorts when im going to be away from home overnight and check for spiders before drinking tower water haha...poor gas station cleark.
I have a crazy poop story. I used to walk about a mile to hang out with my buddy every night at his house and play some Xbox and drink some beer. I had a set route that I would take through some back alleys and it was always around 1:00 am when I would make these journeys. I left my house feeling absolutely fine, but when I got about 3 blocks from his house I began to feel a bit off. The floodgates were about to open and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I tried clenching as hard as I could but it didn't even make a difference. I noticed there was a dark driveway to my left that was lined with some bushes, and if it was going to happen anywhere, it HAD to happen there. I huddled beside this beat up early 90's Chevy Cavalier and let it rip. Hot liquid goosebump induced diarrhea was shooting out of my ass like a geyser and I hadn't a care in the world. After I relieved myself, and my body slowly left survival mode, some post-crap clarity started to kick in. I had nothing to wipe with... I thought about ripping a sleeve off, but I ended up using my socks. Not only were they great at absorbing and cleansing my chili ring, but they were very soft too. Anyways, I continued my journey to my buddies house and enlightened him of the story, and he laughed up a storm... I wish it ended there. Unfortunately the very next day on my way to his house again, my guts began to turn on me once again. I thought for an instance that I was living in an episode of The Twilight Zone or I was stuck in my own Groundhogs Day diarrhea nightmare... There was no time to waste, I had to make it happen yet again. I was about 1 block away from the driveway that I had used before, but it was such an amazing driveway that was completely concealed. I just had to get there again. I make it to the same driveway, squat down beside that Cavalier again, and once again I empty my bowels onto this poor bastard's driveway. The first time I really didn't feel bad, because I thought it was just a "once in a lifetime thing", but now that lightning struck this driveway twice, I started to feel a little bit bad because I noticed that the original battlefield had already been discovered and cleaned up... I quickly got over my feelings of shame in about the time that it took for me to remove my shoes and use my socks to wipe my brownie gun. I continued my journey to my friend's house and once again graced him with the tale of my recent adventures, and we laughed hysterically. A couple days passed by and I hit my friend up and asked him if he wanted to chill, and he said sure... So I began my journey the same exact way that I usually did... This time I felt fine, and as I began rounding the corner where the driveway was, I noticed something was a bit different. The man who owned the driveway that I took two explosive dumps on had installed motion activated cameras with night vision on the side of the house facing the alley, and right above the driveway overlooking everything. Lol... I don't know why but I felt like that was the icing on the cake... It only took 2 piles of runny crap in a driveway for this man to install security cameras on his property... I often wondered if this man did that because he felt like he was being directly targeted with a barrage of shit attacks when in all actuality it was just pure fate. Anyways... hope someone out there enjoys my story.
I'm a once a dayer generally in the AM guy myself, but there's definitely those days every so often that are the exception. Luckily even my worse day, I've never pulled a joe and felt it in my socks though lol.
After 12 years in the military...4 years in college...millions of government dollars in training...they have all taught me to keep baby wipes in my bag at ALL TIMES.
An old girlfriend introduced me to wet wipes and now I can't chocolate Shatner without them. When you first start to use them you can't believe how much is left even after you wiped with TP and it's "clean." If you're a guy, do yourself (and anyone you're dating) a favor and use wet wipes.
