Matthew Dick | This House Regrets the Rise of Hook-up Culture - 2/8 | Oxford Union 

Exactly. There will always be outliers or deviants. They are allowed to exist and always have. To use an extreme example, there will always be criminals, but we should never celebrate them or an increase in crime. Not a perfect analogy, but I think it gets the point across.

​@@neverbackdown1918 Except, people who want to sexually explore or have multiple partners are not 'deviants' or 'criminals', their existence is perfectly normal. The problems that monogamous people face in a world of hookup culture is not the premise of the culture, but rather the lack of respect and consideration. That is a fault of the people themselves- even if they were perfectly monogamous, they would have done the same thing, just the rejection would have been several steps down the dating line. What hookup culture is doing, is saving monogamous people's time so that they can move on and look for other monogamous people. Encouragement has very little to do with sexual choices; otherwise even in a pro-hookup world, monogamous people would just not exist. It's a deeply personal choice, very little to do with encouragement.

@@madhushrutimukherjee First of all, going through hundreds of people and realizing, none of them is the right one for me isn't saving me any time, it's just making me numb. Secondly, I don't think that many people would behave exactly the way they do, if the hookup culture wasn't normalized like today. Many people would simply try to make a relationship work whereas today, they don't even start one.

@@cioccolateriaveneziana It may be wasting your time on the short term, but in comparison ending up with the wrong person who is staying with you for the sake of "pretences" and still having affairs on the side would arguably waste a lot more of your time in terms of meaningfulness. Before you argue that it hardly happened before, might I point towards England's tribe of illegitimate children in each of its colonies. The fathers of these children had perfectly respectable upbringings and even devoted wives, yet they still chose to stray, potentially destroying their own family as well as someone else's. One might argue these are individual choices, but they presented as an epidemic, and continue to do so even in modern society among seemingly "monogamous" people, where they perform monogamy to appease some age old social order. Even in these societies where polyamory or the "hookup" culture is frowned upon, it is present and at a burgeoning rate. Discouraging them has done nothing, really. So it essentially comes down to whether monogamous people would rather spend time, maybe some years searching for the right person or waste decades of their life behind someone who claims to be monogamous to gain social respect but is actually polyamorous. I feel monogamous people deserve the upfront honesty that comes with hookup culture, and I also feel that discouraging someone from sexual exploration in an effort to restrict their sexual freedom will hardly ever bring any good outcome.

@@madhushrutimukherjee I appreciate your effort to discuss this matter profoundly. You say: it's either spending years waiting for the right one or wasting decades next to somebody who cheats. What if it's the other way round? If someone cheats, it usually comes to the surface. Yes, if you're sensitive, you waste years to get it over with but not decades. If it's decades of never uncovered cheating, you simply spent your life in a long relationship where you felt happy :-) I on the other hand have been waiting for the right one whose approach to monogamy would be similar to mine for two decades, so it's already "decades" in plural and they were kind of wasted in this regard. Anyway, my main point is: "discouraging someone from sexual exploration in an effort to restrict their sexual freedom will hardly ever bring any good outcome", as you say, is not what's happening. What's happening is collective ENcouraging the entire society to explore, to consume, to hoard... More and more of everything! Fear of missing out! We need this year's iPhone, not last years! We need another pair of shoes! We need to sleep with as many people as possible because it's the amount that counts (and that proves our worth). And when we have a partner? Someone with whom we match? What if there is someone even better with whom we would match even more? And why should we give up anything for this chain and ball when the world is luring us with more and more things/experiences/people to consume and hoard? That's the problem.

Who said anything about in the past. Religious people currently have less hook up partners

The name got my attention before the topic😂

Yes a lot of us do, middle and lower classes were more prosperous then

I do. Even though I'm gay and the 1950's criminalized gay relationships, I would still prefer it to the age of Grindr.

@@cioccolateriaveneziana Fair enough. I don't agree with hookup culture actually. I just think that this chap has incredible rhetorical skills. He makes a solid argument.

@@samuelturner1668 Yes, he is good. As I commented above, he actually convinced me about something.

He assumed that everyone gets into relationships just to fulfill their sexual needs which is not true and must not be the case if you want a fulfilling relationship. Secondly his arguments about the ease of contraception and abortion availability has nothing to do with hookup culture. We can have a society with that without a hookup culture.

EPIC!