MD's, What Was The Dumbest Patient You've Had? 

"I know my body." The way _I_ look at it, my body and I hate one another. Mostly we can work it out over the counter, but every once in a while I have to pay a doctor to mediate for us. I know my body, and that sumbitch is trying to kill me.

I can't believe this guy was continually having seizures and thought they were heart attacks yet still didn't feel like it's a big deal...

That one where the parents were trying to medicate a two week old. HUGE red flag, CPS call immediately.

Got to give credit to the med student who actually listened to the guy who thought he might have breast cancer which turned out to just be his rib. I say that because the amount of guys who say "guys can't get breast cancer!" is kind of disturbing because while it's uncommon it isn't impossible. (I say all this as a woman with a very small bust)

Next time I say "Grrr" I am gonna say "G-r-r-r" instead.

Dumb Patient: *says anything* Doctors: _Yeah, this is big brain time._

”it turns out my breasts are lopsided. He wrote it in the chart. It hurt my feelings” … GOLDEN 😂🤣

“I’m sorry, you have doritos. It’s fatal” I can’t stop laughing!! 😂

A story about me being dumb. It took me months to tell my psychiatrist about my anxiety symptoms, because I didn't think it was possible for me to have an anxiety disorder. I thought I was responsible for how I felt since I have issues with self-confidence and assumed my problem was self-inflicted. Well, until I started having anxiety attacks. When I finally spoke to a professional, she put me on a medication for anxiety and it helped with the symptoms. I felt dumb when I finally accepted I have an anxiety disorder. I'm still not sure which one, because my psychiatrist didn't bother with an official diagnosis.

I'm epileptic. I knew before the end if story one he's taking epileptic seizures. I slept for 24 hours the last time I had a full one.

I have a knee infection currently. I needed to go to the ER. At the end of my visit, the doctor just goes “well, you look smart, so I’ll discharge you now. You get we don’t have a specific diagnosis.” So apparently people who the doctors think are dumb have to stay in the ER longer. Ok

The thumbnail for this video should be in r/mildlyinfurating

The thumbnail... Do not know if the grammar is a mistake or a joke

Still think "Fireballs of the Eucharist" would be an awesome name for a band. Or maybe a Judas Priest album.

My mother was conviced I have a trauma. Turned out I am depressed. She took me from school, took all my electronic things away and spoke to me as if I couldn't understand her. After 1 month my father convinced her to take me to a doctor.... ;-; My life was never so terrible

This isn't really related to this but it reminded me of a story one of my old teachers told us. She couldn't stand up (like literally couldn't stand) and so they went to the doctor. Turns out she had a really severe ear problem or something that was seriously messing up her balance. They recommended an experimental surgery that _might_ cure the ear thing but might also really mess up the muscles in her face. She declined and just took antibiotics, and it went away.

I thought I was having a heart Attack once, turns out it was indigestion, thankfully my mother was smarter than me.

Do one on the dumbest doctors we've had. Ive been told, Pain doesn't raise blood pressure. Pain won't cause shaking. Nothing wrong with me even though I have 2 herniated discs with nerve displacement. Told by physical therapist to see specialist, specialist said see physical therapist. Seen doc who said if it bothers you, see someone about it. And the list goes on.

Oh boy... I self treated two wisdom teeth that were breaking apart. Oil of clove used to numb the area and occasionally strategically applied inside the heavily decaying tooth to try and kill exposed nerve endings. Usually had to leave bits of cotton swab or similar in the tooth to prevent the nerve being hit and causing agonising pain. Would occasionally need to lift fragments of tooth out with tweezers as more broke off. Finally was able to get into a dentist for emergency surgery after dealing with this issue for 6m+ Both teeth were removed in over a dozen pieces each. I still had shards get pushed through my gums for the next 3 months.

Probably the guy that made the thumbnail

The first one was actually kinda sad I hope that guys ok and more medically informed

I once diagnosed myself with scoliosis, turns out I was right :/

The sad thing is, some of these things happen to people with hypochondria. I have it, and I sometimes believe I'm dying because of various symptoms. I just dont argue with my doctor.

*My last brain cell has left the chat*

lot of this seems like munchausen syndrome and munchausen syndrome by proxy... especially that one about the two week old. yikes.

Had eaten some raw cookie dough while making cookies one night. The next day I experienced awful symptoms and was convinced I had food poisoning or whatever, because you should eat raw dough, you know? I could barely stand, I was running hot and cold, shivering with an incredibly high temp, sweating while I was freezing. It was like the flu but so much worse. Anyways, I went to the ER and they did a bunch of tests on me, but they never took a pee sample, which is like, the most normal thing to do but they didn't think I had a UTI. Anyways, after three hours and an MRI scan, yep, you guessed it. UTI. It showed up as a small thing though, so it was hard to believe that it illicited such strong symptoms, but that was it.

"I think i have a tack in my shoe" he had a tack in his shoe. That fucking broke me haha

For the health of breast-havers everywhere (and to temper the expectations of breast-lovers everywhere)... Most of the time, your breasts are gonna be lopsided. The human body isn't symmetrical, not even on the inside (heart placement, size of lungs and kidneys, the liver in general). Being lopsided is natural. However, feeling lumps when you apply gentle pressure is always something that should be investigated for medical emergencies. Just dont press so hard that whatevers on the other side (your other fingers, ribs) compresses the breast tissue. That's how you get phantom lumps. Don't be ashamed of lopsided boobies! That's perfectly natural, and almost all breasts are lopsided to some degree, it's just a matter of whether you notice it. If the breasts become lopsided without a reasonable change to cause them, then I might encourage seeing a doctor to be safe (reasonable changes are puberty/pregnancy/menopause, changes in the type/frequency of bra you wear, significant changes in activity and exercise, or modifications such as piercings).

A baby with anxiety....

I thought I was having terrible muscle spasms in my back and asked for muscle relaxers from a walk-in clinic. Got them but didn't get better. Turned out to be my gallbladder and within 2 weeks from that initial clinic visit I had it removed. Wish I hadn't self diagnosed and maybe they would have investigated further.

Why do these all sound like my grandma

My mom got heart failure after having my little brother She started getting really sick (dizziness, heart palpitations, ect.) She went to the doctor and the doctor told her it was nothing My mom was brushed off by most of the doctors when she told them that she thought she had a problem with her heart My aunt is a nurse and took a look at my mom only after being pressured into it, Yup, heart failure, and if my mom hadn't had diagnosed herself my dad would have been left with a 7 year old, and a baby, Mind you, my dad doesn't really like kids. I did have to grow up much faster than normal though as my mom was normally too sick to get out of bed and my dad was working, but it would have been so much worse if I had have lost her, we regularly had discussions about if she would die because she was diagnosed so late So, moral of the story LISTEN TO YOUR PATIENTS

Not the patient's stupidity, but funny, nonetheless. This happened in med school. Patient came in with abdominal pain/mass, thinking tumor/appendicitis. ER consult surgeon, surgeon take one look at the patient, see that the patient have female sexual characteristic, annoyingly consult gynecologist (since they can't assume anything without ruling out gynecological cause, which is neither their speciality nor their job). Gynecologist report : patient is a male. Attached to the report is a copy of a page from a textbook for med student that say "History taking. Step one : confirm patient identification." Apparently, Surgeon didn't bother to look at patient's data before calling gynecologist. (Before you asked, yes, I live in Thailand)

"Not exactly a misdiagnosis" But that wasn't even the question >_>

Just so you know, I got mono at 15 without having kissed anyone in 3 years. You can get in other ways too (like sharing a drink for example) and it’s nothing to be ashamed of

11:22 They were scamming for adderall.

The first one was pretty baffling. I can see where theyre coming from but this is what year?!?!

No one: Absolutely nobody: Updoot Everything: Wow (pronounced whoaw)

as a person with epilepsy,, i'm slightly offended at he first one and i don't even know why

Comments: 90%: THUMBAIL IS WRONG YOU A BINNNCCCTTHHHH 10%: *something about the video*

i wish dumping syndrome was treated with glucose, and caused low blood sugar... my life would be so much easier.... (i wouldnt wish this one anyone)

Where did you get the picture for the thumbnail... because that's a picture of my dad. I mean yes he is a trauma surgeon but it is just odd to see him on this.

I was being funny to my doc. But I told him yeah for some reason I have a mass in my pants and when I see my girl it grows huge fast. Till she rubbed it and it would shrink and I'm butt ass tired afterwards. His eyes afterwards were hilarious till what he realized what I ment and laughed when he saw my girl and said you go boy.

I just wanted to remind people quickly: If you find anything odd developing on your body, or notice something strange, see a doctor. Even if it's something that turns out to be really minor or non-threatening, if youre still unsure after one diagnosis see another doctor because they can misdiagnose sometimes. Just dont be rude or ignore your doctors

"She can't be MUTE, it's not possible for a person to not be able to speak!" -My mom when I was 7 Also, I was able to speak just fine. I just didn't like to because I had (and still have, 9 years later) a speech impediment.

10:25 dang, i just had a bunch of withdrawal seizures cus i forgot to call in for a refill of one of my epilepsy meds that's REALLY strong. whoopsie. o_o;;

Damn I'm a hypochondriac, but I more so panic that it might be horrible disease x, but after I've done the research or go see the doc and it's confirmed that there's no way it could be horrible disease x everything's ok and of course I always trust the doctor over my fears especially because they explain everything to me and for me the explanations help me to rationalise the situation and stop thinking it might be horrible disease x. That hypochondriac needs some serious help though, they're clearly not coping at all!

Mononucleosis sucks when you get a throat infection as a complication. Nurse said it was the worst she’d ever seen but the ENT said nothing was wrong and sent me home. 2 days later I was in the hospital, had lost 10lbs in 2 weeks, and was kept there for 2 days with an IV.... it sucked

My mother had fibroid tumors all over in her uterus. She bled so much she became anemic. Had no energy. Could barely walk or stand bc of the pain and severe fatigue. She had no insurance. I ended up taking her to a place that helps ppl with no insurance. All you have to do is make payment. She went for another appointment by herself bc I was at work and so was everyone else. I leave work and my dad was waiting for me in the parking lot. She had blood work done and they told her she had 2 PINTS of blood in her body. They were amazed she could even walk into the dr office! They told her either go to the hospital NOW, or we are calling an ambulance. She went, blood transfusion and sent home. She passed out at work. I took her straight to our ob/gyn. Emergency FULL hysterectomy.

Ex dental assistant- had a patient once call with an extreme tooth ache- like shes getting migraines and by the minute its getting worse so we squeeze her as an emergency patient. Patient arrives with half her face swollen. Im sent to do history with her whilst dentist finishes up with previous patient. I ask her the usual history questions and then we get to speaking directly about her problem. How long have you had the ache? She shot me a guilty look, in my head im thinking did she bite something hard? Bad oral hygiene? Someone hit her? No..... oh not even close. This tooth had had a cavity, for 5 years. (I wince because thats a long time for decay to just chill in your mouth) she continues her story- she felt the tooth was looking a bit unsightly, so she went to the chemist, theres a product called dentafix (its a temporary cement for crowns and bridges) she bought it and then filled her tooth with it. We bring her in and i let the dentist know whats happened- we examine and xray and sure enough the nerve is dying. We do an emergency 1st stage root canal at her request to save the tooth (remove the nerve and clean out the infection and decay and treat the infection) and temporarily restore it. Roughly $500+ thanks to a $10 quick fix and home dental job. Another was a dental nurse presenting with sore gums claiming to have catches (left over materials from dental work under the gums) yeah no chick had not had a dental clean in 2 years, wasn’t flossing and had stopped brushing due to pain- she had acute necrotising gingivitis- aka flesh eating bacterial infection of the gum due to poor hygiene. Finally a patient who refused to use fluoridated tooth paste but was brushing her teeth with lemon juice, Eating nothing but acidic foods, drinking juices and over dosing on vitamin c tablets. Was horrified to be told that her sensitive cavitated teeth were due to the excessive acid in her diet because “i thought fruit is healthy and good for you” lovely lady but had no idea about what she was doing to her teeth.

The one that ends at around 7:42 is probably Munchausens.... Jesus

Dumbest paitent Should I break it to him?

7:37 Ok Kiwi pharmacist. I see you!

Sometimes you should just let natural selection happen .

I started watching this video while eating lunch. Then I did a google image search of some of the diagnoses. I'm not hungry anymore.

I thought I had a shoulder subluxation and went to the chiropractor I didn’t tell him what I thought it was but I had a loss feeling in it and it was painful, turns out I had double scoliosis and imbalanced shoulders that cause irritated nerves and now I can’t lift things that are heavy because I tried lifting my brother and I hurt my back. I’m 14 and I already have back issues I have turned into my mother😓

It’s always the ones with oxygen tanks outside hospitals chain smoking 💥🔥🔥🔥

Tortilla chip guy got lucky. 13 years after I had my wisdom teeth taken out (bottom two were impacted. Had to be broken into pieces and pulled out with tweezers) by an apparently incompetent OS but the only one available in that area of Alaska at the time all the chunks of tooth he left in the cavities of my gums started getting rejected by my body. Basically worked like if you get a splinter/sliver and your skin gets irritated, inflamed, and infected to expel the piece of wood or whatever. Except in both sides of my bottom gums on and off for a year and a half as more chunks of tooth got slowly expelled/cut out by a good dentist.

My correct self diagnosis. Cracked bottom most rib. The bruise was pretty impressive. I didn’t even know a bruise could turn dark green and blue on black. Even my doctor was impressed, and had to take a picture of it, and an x-ray to see the damage. My rib sported a nice diagonal crack. For broken ribs, there’s not much that can be done. Bad breaks can be surgically repaired, but for a cracked rib, it’s left alone to heal for the most part as long as there’s no fragments, which there wasn’t. I took OTC pain meds as needed for pain and had to go on restricted duty (ie: warm a desk) for a week. Standard procedure. How? I managed to crash into the counter carrying groceries. Sunfire thought it was hilarious.

"My breast are just lumpsided"🤣

The tortilla chip happened to me once. Instead of tortilla chip, however, is was the skin of a popcorn kernel.

I wish I had enough time to r/ whooosh all the people saying the thumbnail is spelt wrong

I have had oral thrush a few times but it was because my asthma was out of control so I was on inhaled and pill steroids. Oral thrush is a side effect. Allergy shots got it under control and haven’t had in years. :)

First guy found the secret to immortality.

13:18 I can totally understand this guy though. You're usually told that any suspicious skin change could mean skin cancer and skin cancer is one of the most fatal diseases out there. Edit: not completely incurable though

“Me-graines...” Me: *grammar 100*

I had a foot wort once, it would hurt, bleed, and I couldn’t make it go away so I decided to freeze it, hurt like hell, got frostbite (in summer), got a big blister and some of the skin came off so I couldn’t walk very well for like a month but good news is that it went away

This is similar I broke my chipped the bone in my foot and I say the X-ray (so did the doctor) and he said it was a sprain if you didn’t know the piece of missing bone was clearly detached

10:45 - jeez. The only withdrawal symptoms I get from not taking the stimulant I’m prescribed (for my ADHD) is fatigue. Just fatigue.

I got thrush when I was 17 and antibiotics helped slightly but then I developed an allergy and now I just deal. It hasn’t effected anything in my daily life

fireballs of the eucharist! would have been funnier if it was fireballs out the eucharist! still hilarious though .. . . and why does diamond sponge bob have a face like a toilet?

5:55 why hasn't anyone asked about/brought up munchausen?

I had to have some bumps (can’t remember the actual name for them) removed from my leg because they would burn after rubbing against my pants. Luckily wasn’t cancer (didn’t think it would be since I’ve had them since high school and cancer would’ve killed me by now). For some reason having them removed just means that they bother me more. They itch a lot and drives me crazy when they itch while I’m in the middle of doing dishes. Plus, the doc missed some so I think they’re growing back.

I feel as though the lightheaded woman wasn't so inept with her presumption of a tumor

Just had a Romanian advert for cold and flu relief

Fun fact about me: I’m allergic to Zithromax (Z-PAC).

The hypochondriac needs flour pills instead of sugar pills (placebo pills)

I think I have a tack in my shoe. Love that.

Had a dumb doctor instead, they refused to give me prenatal care until I took a pregnancy test which I told them was not necessary as I have a copy of my ultrasounds on my husband's phone (he was with me), I was 5 months pregnant (And VERY obviously showing), offered to let them feel it kick as they had been moving for 4 weeks already, and had a proof of pregnancy from a past clinic. Finally I took their stupid pee test, and they said "congratulations, you're pregnant", well no shit sherlock.

I've used Pepto-Bismol plenty of times and not once have I had my tongue turn black (that I've seen)

7:40 - You have people like this and then you have people who are active, live a normal fucking life and eat regular food and they're the ones that end up with Diabeetus 9:00 - "Started in Alabama Way Back" - I know where this is going

5:01 in fifth grade I started developing breasts (not really any difference, not that I could tell until late 6th grade) but it had started enough to realize my nipples were hurting, like I was against the desk and accidentally hit them but it didn’t hurt or anything after, it just hurt in touch n stiff, and it felt like there were weird ball masses under my nipples, I was terrified and thought I had breast cancer, I got over it telling myself I’d tell someone if it progressed, I’ve had anxiety for ages so I’ve always worried over silly stuff, and O figured out it was just breast development. It was only a few years ago and the size of them hasn’t changed much (still is a change but I’m still barely an A cup or whatever) but I still wear bras so my nipples don’t poke through my shirt lmao, but although they’ve hurtred when bumping them or feeling them (which I’d legit stand in front of the mirror and touch around my nipples to see if the annoying pain was still there) on and off n stuff because tit growth n shit sorta ish,, boobs still hurt sometimes and defs hurts when accidentally knocking them against a table or something but that’s normal, Ik this is kinda tmi but it’s funny how I thought I had breast cancer at first lmao.

one year ago i correctly diagnosed my type 1 diabetes, the only reason i knew was because of exams got at 12/A

I have diabetes and 7:10 scares me

4:14 To be fair, it is possible for biological males to get breast cancer. It's much less common than in females, obviously, but not impossible.

VINDSWEPT MUSIC AND REDDIT?! FUCK YES

That sounds like epilepsy.

Typo in thumbnail I love it

I wonder If it's a joke. But it's spelled like "pateint" on other videos as well. I think it was originally a mistake and now it's trying to be passed off like a "haha I actually meant to do that" joke.

i successfully diagnosed myself with being pregnant with twins before an ultrasound showed that i was.. it turned out even crazier than that but yeah..

Had a patient report the significant past medical history of "Smilin' mighty Jesus". Spinal Meningitis. This was in the deep south, so the accent sounds like it.

0 views and 3 likes.... Great job youtube

"Fireballs of the Eucharist" are when a naughty altar boy puts cinnamon whisky in the cup instead of the blood of Christ.

Patient was dizzy. Pregnancy. *Bruh*

Two week old has anxiety, what.

Not a doctor but my mom is, the patient asked for “smart pills”

I think there is a tack in my shoe

Doom: Fireballs of the Eucharist

3:16 I still thought it was all the same person until that last comment XD

bro fist guy has Epilepsy 😂