Melissa Unmasked - Trying to find my real autistic self 

I've watched your videos for a while now and always appreciated your quirkiness. When you talked about not fitting in, I really hit home. I have always been the same and was always the oddball. I believe that's why we like dolls so much because they look like people but never judged the way we were. Hang in there. Your an amazing person ❤.

The earring, the "I should just be dying"......you are awesome. Thanks so much. Remember us all behind you when you get off the path.

I love unlocking the childhood stuff. I remember SO many thousands of times just thinking “hmph. I’m weird!”as a kid. 😂❤

Thank you for sharing with us, Melissa. Self awareness is a good thing. Sometimes I feel like I’m weird or “too sensitive” for having it whenever I’m around people who just don’t give a sh*t, or at least appear that way. But I know that I would never want to trade with them. And I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older that being sensitive and empathetic is a good thing not a weakness. I was thinking about how when I was little I used to dig holes in my Grandma’s back yard. I had a special trowel in her shed, and my surrogate grandpa (her long time boyfriend) would go outside with me and sit while I dug for “dinosaur bones”. 😂 I also used to sit on an antique milk jug that they had behind his chair in the living room and give him “haircuts”. I never used real scissors but just running my fingers through hair was fun for me. This was the early 90s so I’m grateful that my grandparents indulged me instead of trying to tell my parents I was weird. I also became a hair dresser for a little while as an adult before I had my kids. But I much preferred doing the pretend haircuts on my grandpa. 😂

it is nice to hear from an ‘elder’-autistic. i am 21 and i can look up to you because you’ve got more experience in this world

You had me cracking up! “Hey, free shoe shine” 😂 I feel some of us are lucky that our parents and grandparents let us go down our special interest rabbit holes. ❤❤❤ I sit here listening to you on my earbuds watching my 6 year old son binge watch calculus RU-vid videos. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

I love watching oddly satsfying video and I have Autism and ADHD.

This was so nice of you to share... thank you too... a big warm hug 🤗 for you nyo!

I know I'm a day late, but happy autism awareness day!!!! I can't say enough just how much I admire you and how accepted you've made me feel over the 10 plus years I've been watching your videos. Thank you for making me proud to be a blind, queer and neurodivergent doll collector.

I could not watch your last video all the way through because it was too painful. My mom died last May in a situation very similar to your mom’s-and it’s still too upsetting for me to think about. But I do plan to go back and watch it as soon as I am able.

I love this channel by the way , where us adults can talk 👄 and listen. It's great

A weird childhood obsession I had was clipping my mom’s toenails… she had one on her piggy toe that was really thick and clipping that sucker down was the most satisfying thing ever 😂 Pretty sure I’d clip my brother’s nails too when he was sleeping, lmao

It is so SO important to treat yourself the way you treat the people you love. I love how you talked about thinking about what you would say to your son if he was in your situation. We only see the parts of yourself you choose to share, but the person you've shown us is so kind and caring to others-- you deserve that same kindness and I'm so so glad that you are practicing treating yourself with love. When I was a tween we went to a hotel with a built in water park as part of a cub scout thing but I had gotten my period so I couldn't do anything in the water and all the other activities cost money since they weren't covered by the cub scout thing. I decided I wanted to just stay in the hotel room and be alone. This was just a bit before smartphones were ubiquitous so all I had was the hotel TV which bored me to tears. Somehow, in a desperate scramble for ANYTHING to do, I ended up setting up the in room ironing board and iron and ironing some of my clothes. I. LOVED. IT. I loved ironing so much I opened everyone else's suitcases (I had 4 younger siblings so I had seven people's worth of clothes to work with) and ironed all their clothes too. Genuinely had so much fun in a hotel room by myself just ironing other people's clothes.

Losing your mother is the hardest thing. I honestly was down and low for quite some time afterwards. You really do change in a sense. My heart goes out to you. ❤

What I learned from therapy is that you can love them and forgive them for you not for them, but you don’t have to like them and that’s OK. And now using that concept, I don’t feel so much pain or confusion, now I can say I love my brother, I just don’t like him.

I related so much to the part where you talked about the struggle to correctly do justice to the kind comments on your last video. I wanted to comment on that video and found it so difficult to find the correct words to capture everything I was feeling while listening to you talk about your mother and the events leading up to her death. Now with some distance, and more spoons in my pocket, I realize that all that was necessary was: I appreciate you for everything that you are. I am so very sorry for your loss and that you weren’t fully supported by your siblings in one of the most challenging times of your life.

I'm having a lot of anxiety atm and I don't know what to do but watch videos . Your videos help. I'm about to have a meltdown and have noone to turn to. I sometimes feel so alone but knowing I'm not is what keeps me going. I'm not okay Some things are going on with family my sister being in the hospital for the third week in a row and the doctors not helping her just discharging her only to be back a week later. Also my mom being homeless and my brother abandoning her, my dad not helping, she's struggling and i can't do anything about it. So its putting a lot on me and my mental health and I know her mental health and she might not make it through this and I'm terrified of losing her. Knowing what you went through with your mother recently has me wanting to do more cuz i know I'm the only one who cares about her. 😢

That is a really smart way to do this! Answer them in a video!

I have similar feelings about comments for my little YT channel. It’s so hard! I can only imagine how overwhelming larger channels like yours would be.

I love you! I appreciate you sharing. I relate in a lot of ways to the things you say. I always wanted to be around people but I was never fully accepted by others because I was weird and talked about the same things all the time...special interests. So ya. Also, I spent a lot of time inside reading because as much as I love other people, it's often too peopley outside.

❤❤❤❤

Sending love.

I love mommy story time! 💕🍿

I'm not autistic but your story about chrome and making it shiny suddenly brought back a memory. As a kid I was obsessed with a container with a silver bath in it because it could make silver shiny again. I used it in secret and - since there wasn't an infinite amount of silver necklaces, silver earrings or silver spoons in our home - on every metal object I could find. In the end I "stole" coins from everyone's wallet just so I could make them shiny again and put them back into the wallets. I guess that's how my mum found out that I was using the dangerous silver bath without her supervision so she hid it and I never found it again. Weird how she wasn't thankful for a wallet full of shiny coins...

I loved stringing antique buttons and polishing silverware.

My special interests are (obviously) sewing for dolls ❤❤ collection and organizing (oh how I love organizing) and family genealogy

I struggle with unmasking too. Overthinking how to answer comments, do I sound rude? Wanting to be matter of fact but it seems like I’m being rude. Then it’s exhausting trying to figure out what to say and get my meaning across.

Oh boy I have quite a few stories too XD I used to walk with my head down looking at my feet because if I didn't I "couldn't see where I was going" LOL. I did also have ear issues tho maybe it was that too? Idk. Another one is when I discovered a bin of small colorful plastic bears in my classroom and I REALLY LOVED THEM so everyday I would sneak one in my backpack, then I would take two or three, until one day I decided to just take the whole bin and dump half of it into my backpack! We went out for recess and when we came back in my teacher was there holding my bag. I don't even know if my grandparents know this story (they raised me and my brother)

Hi Melissa I was diagnosed with autism last year I’m 35 years old and I still don’t quite understand what’s going on with myself sometimes. I have been masking for so long I’m not sure how to unmask and relax

HI MELISSA FROM FALLING MY SEIZURE MADE ME FALLING AND BLACK OUT THAT WHY END UP AT THE HOSPITAL AND STAYING THERE FOR 4 OR 5 DAYS IT WAS LAST JANUARY THAT HAPPENED NOW IM ALL BETTER AND IM TAKING MY MEDICATION TO STOPING THE SEIZURE THAT WHY TAKING IT FOR REST OF MY LIFE TO STAYING ALIVE AND BE WELLNESS CAUSE GOD KNOW IT LOVE DAVID😀🥰😀🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Hello Dear Melissa. Brothers. My brother decided he didn't want me around after my Dad passed. However, in 2019, I became very close to following my Dad to heaven. My daughter tracked him down and he came to see me. He spoke to the doctors & neurosurgeon with my husband. Strutted around me being very nice. When I finally recovered & came home, I saw him for about 9 months and then nothing. I think my brother preferred me closer to death than alive. Don't know how to process that. Duty I suppose. I know how you feel. Big hugs to you. Jane in New Zealand 🇬🇧🇳🇿

I love your channel you are amazing and beautiful

You do you breathe and find yourself you are an inspirational icon, your the reson i colect my dolls and thoes i dont enjoy i donate to thoes who need them. If you need a brake from vids we undersand. Iv lernd to carry a book to shoshul stuff if its overwelming or im tyerd of talking (or being ignored) i open my book and relax ignoring the world

So sorry I had to make a new account! Hey I’m back

Have you ever smelt Swarfega 🤗xxx

❤ 🫶🏻 🥹 every time ur eyes well up u make mine well up with u 🥲