Lol, this guy I was dating wanted me to drop out of uni 3 weeks before graduation. He asked me if I was going to choose education over love, and I said yes
My daughters father wanted her to quit one week before her first competetive junior olympic level gymnastics meet that she had worked a year towards. He didn't want to pay half of the meet fees. He made 100k a year back when that meant you had it made. Making women defer their dreams is just a fun game to them that makes them feel powerful. Anyway, she didn't quit. She got 2nd place out of 60 girls.
My miserable pick me ex friend called me selfish for moving out the state to find a better life. She was stuck with a brokie and 3 kids and was struggling. Misery loves company. I've been thriving every since.
@@SR77736 Took me a long time to learn that. Most of the time when people try to talk you out of objectively positive choices it is because misery loves company.
@@akiinefaexperiencinglife Yes, that's how we have to start looking at that word selfish as being self-ish. us women need to look after ourselves and our dreams and goals.
I dated a guy who I found quite attractive although he wouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. His friends would always tease him about how I'm out of his league. That eventually lead to him feeling more insecure about himself and nitpicking at things about me. I was a year older than him and he'd make "jokes" about trading me in for someone younger. Or he'd say how he thinks blondes are better looking (I have dark colouring). When I got tired and broke up with him, he started crying about how beautiful I am and giving me all these compliments all of a sudden. I didn't care since I wasn't into whatever dumb game he was playing.
@@littlbopeepnope leave it will get worse . He’s abusive . You will feel so much better and lighter . You will be fine on your own . It’s 2024 we ain’t taking shit from men this year . Put your crown on and walk . You will eventually meet someone who doesn’t feel the need to treat you poorly to feel better about himself. Good luck you deserve better
My dad paid for my mom's fifth and final degree, helped her compile her thesis, always showed support to her during and after all this time so I don't expect anything less. And today, after almost 20 years of their marriage he is the one who majorly paid for my degree and schooling. You aren't just choosing a man, you are choosing your future and your future kid's life foundation so choose wisely ladies!
Such a good point. One day i had the lightning bolt of realization "this man is going to be the father of my kids" and that was enough to end a 7 year obsession. Thats all it took.
My grandpa was orphaned at 2yo. His inheritance was stolen by family members and he grew up really poor. He valued education above everything, and he told his daughters that their university degrees would be the inheritance he would leave them. “Property can be stolen, knowledge is yours forever”, was his saying. He was an amazing man, and I won’t settle for anyone less amazing than him.
Yes! My grandpa gave me a college fund as an inheritance so I was blessed to have my college paid for. I don’t regret getting student loans for my law degree and becoming a lawyer bc that juries doctor can’t be taken away nor all the skills and knowledge and connections I made. I don’t care if I owe for the rest of my life. Knowledge is POWER. And that’s what some people want to keep you from. If you have critical thinking skills, you’re empowered to make good decisions.
@@EcstaticTeaTime Financially, he struggled in his last years. He had a job position (politics-adjacent) that could have made him a lot of money had he been a crook, but he chose to have integrity instead. His prize: he had friends from 3-4 generations coming in and out of his house all the time to visit him, because he was such a caring and loving man. Died on his own terms two weeks short of his 90th birthday.
18:00 This scenario is very true. I live in south Asia, and lately the women in our country are pursuing higher education and career. This has resulted in a lot of angry people coming online and saying that men can't find someone to marry anymore since the higher educated woman doesn't want to become a housewife. But then the community of women replied that men who want a housewife have the option marry a poor underprivileged girl from the village and give her a better life and cherish her like a queen, but it led those people to be even more angry. You see they do not want a girl who has no education, but at the same time they can not accept the fact that highly educated won't sacrifice their career. They want an educated woman who will give up her dreams and ambitions.
You explained everything perfectly. Men lie when they say they don’t care about a woman’s education, job, or accomplishments, but after they get with you they back track and get mad that you aren’t financially contributing, you don’t have any marketable skills because you don’t have a degree, and so forth. If these men were really telling the truth there would be no women in poverty. In the US, the manosphere constantly say they’d rather date a barista from Starbucks vs an educated woman, but they call us gold diggers and useless when we don’t work.
But I thought it's the opposite for most times that astriks men want to marry women from lower classes to control them better or am I wrong? Good for the women to finally wake up though 🙂
My former husband wanted me to quit my PhD program because I wasn’t as available to him as before. He was really mad. So, we divorced. I then finished my degree, had a career making more money than he ever did and was happy. Him, not so much. He still tells me that he was sorry years later.
I see average-looking men marrying and in relationship with beautiful women all the time, but ONE pair of handsome man and average-looking woman and she gets tore down to pieces.
@@bloodmajesty414 I'm saying that women, statistically speaking, judge men's appearances much harsher than they women/men judge women's appearances, that's why you might think that there are too many average-looking men marring beautiful women when in reality those men are usually just as good-looking or the women are average too
@@kodokunokansokushya9488Women put a ton of effort in their appearance, but men just don’t and we see it. Most men won’t even shave/wax/trim their privates. Many still don’t do basic hygiene. There is a reason why male Korean pop stars are idolized and it’s because they look clean, shaven and they look like they take care of the appearance daily. Skin care, body hair removal, hair care, all of that stuff should be important to men as well. But unfortunately it is often not. I have heard of men who don’t wipe or wash their hands after using the bathroom. Even heard of men not washing their bum holes in the shower. Big ick for us women.
For men, women putting themslves first and learning self love is a threat. Because they cannot run games on people wwho actually know there is a game. They used to win by default.
@@manersbams9215@manersbams9215 tons of podcasts say it's ok for men to cheat because that's how they're wired lol. As well as that if a man sleeps with another woman it's not cheating, but if a woman does it is because reasons. Stop playing you've heard this take before
My sister once told me that “if you look at this person and think there’s a possibility that you’d be embarrassed to one day say ‘yeah that’s my ex’ or ‘I can’t believe I let them do that to me, they weren’t even that cute’, then don’t date them.” Love her ❤
I wish someone had told me this when I was younger, but I instead got the message that I should sacrifice my needs to be loved (and to accept scraps). My family is full of dysfunctional people. My parents never gave me "the talk" or any guidance on dating/relationships/work/finances/etc. My ex is a covert narcissist who isn't even my type, but he manipulated me to being with him. I also thought I didn't deserve better than what he was offering. My family was just "Good for you", yet after I left him, my mom was all "I could tell he was trouble". If she truly thought that, she *never* talked about it to me. I will never understand anyone who lets their child be in an unhappy relationship. I will never understand the justification behind not teaching your child how to keep themselves safe & happy.
Exactly, so many women spent a big portion of their lives taking care of a man, a family etc, just to get cheated on and left behind for a younger woman. Many women also raising children on their own when men just deserted the nest 🤔
My Mom for example - she was discouraged for years and talked out of getting higher education … I brought up the idea again recently and I would have fully funded it as well. My Dad discouraged her yet again. I was very disappointed in the whole situation. My soon to be ex also had a problem with me going to school - that’s why he a is soon to be ex! I won’t let a man ever tell me what I can and can’t do …
@@BuffaloJenny79 that's so shitty. How does that make you feel about you dad? I imagine it's hard if your relationship with him is good overall. For me, no guy explicitly discouraged me from going to school. I'd either have a limerence issue that prevented me from focusing on school or they guy wouldn't respect my time and complain when I did things apart from him, and I'd roll over and do as he pleased. I started putting my foot down in later relationships when I did my own thing and the guy would either break up with me or, in my current relationship, join me in my hobby or studying in order to spend more time with me.
My best friend 😫 she was in school when she “fell in love” quit school, move in with the guy, got preggo and he left her after the baby was 6 months old. He moved in with another girlfriend and then married her. My friend never went back to school and had to work shitty jobs ever since just to stay afloat, no child support, still struggling and just getting by with her daughter who sees her father only on her birthday. He has 4 kids with 3 women and takes care of none! He didn’t finish high school and drives a truck, I don’t know what all these women see in him. 🤦♀️
That is BULLSHIT and u know it. Women who don't love their man more than he loves her usually end up cheating on their man. After 10 to 15 years of a situation like a woman will get bored and eventually cheat with a guy that she likes more than her husband.
Only if is true, cuz i dated a covert narcissist that who tried to have a relationship with me for years, SO i FINALLY gave in, in My mind i said i deserve to be love more, he acted like he was crazy for me for a whole year, he wanted a whole year ungil he notice i FINALLY lower My instints and love hi, back.... Dude the way he change .... I don't understand it at all, he loved me SO much ???? RIGHT 😅.... Oh boy Women don't Even know the crazy bastarda tehy date if they are willing to pretend to be something FOR A YEAR !!!! He destroyed me, i won't go on details, but the damage of a narcissist is vile
@dmc4426 I think wanting to be with someone Who is more into than you are into them is something that comes from fear Fear to be broken fear to not be given back when you give fear to be Hurt I dont think its healthy because it gets the other person Hurt too How would you feel if you was more into your man than he is into you? That you compromise more than he does because you are more into him than you? Where you always initiate but he does not. You see? Its painful. And why would you be with someone that you dont 100% love? Whats the point of being with someone if your guard is always up around them?
When I worked in seniors care, we had a few ladies who joined us in their late 90s and into their 100's. When asked what their secrets were, most of them said staying single and not stressing the small stuff 😂
Was talking to a guy for three weeks, THREE WEEKS and he was pushing for me to give up my friends (including my roommate who's my best friend), was pushing for me to stop attending university, to cut back my hours at work, and was pushing to try and get me to move in with him. After THREE WEEKS. Red flags hit me in the face at 2am one night and I cut him off that day
Too much too soon will always be a red flag. Men don’t generally rush things, so if they have a sense of urgency to get serious real quick it’s an alarm bell.
Men will only support a woman’s goals as long as they don’t have to compromise anything at all. I became the primary parent, did all the house work, let this man have his free time to focus on his work and business, all for him to not feel appreciated enough while I was feeling physically and emotionally worse. When I voiced it, I’m ungrateful because he’s the provider. They don’t see a woman’s unpaid labor as anything but expected that all woman naturally do.
If they’re supporting the household, they’re giving up their entire lives…If you’re supporting the household it means nothing and you should always be doing more.
Guy here. I had a 3 year long relationship with a woman that cannot walk properly because of a disabillity. She basically made me gave up all my friends, because she always needed me to show her that she was more important than anything else to me. She had me stop my hobby for her, lie for her even though I absolutely cannot stand lying. She wanted me to ignore my parents who were always there for me when they needed my help. I also quit my job so I could take care of her and look for a job where she lived. She didn't want me to study because in class there would be other girls and that made her jealous. At my new job, almost every morning when I went to work she begged me to stay, sometimes with tears, she wanted me to pretend being ill. But I didn't. Then she slowly lost interest in me, suddenly me going to work wasn't an issue anymore and she started flirting with other guys online. I even have reason to believe she cheated on me. So yeah I did compromise here and there and then had to rebuild my life because of it
@@TahuHyuugaglad you left that really bad relationship, good for you👍✨Wish you the best. Hope you don’t ever encounter with other person like that, and if you do you leave as soon as possible.
@@TahuHyuuga She sounds like an absolute nightmare… it’s rare to see a man compromise his goals to this extent for a woman. It can be tough when you’re in the thick of it and stay due to investment and love for a person. Glad you got out and hope you give yourself grace and clarity.
@@maevav5645 thanks for the nice words. I think I told it to highlight that no matter how often men or women compromise for each other in comparison, it shouldn't be a men or women thing, it can go both ways. I guess the good thing is that I learned to say no and to not betray my principles for someone else. Relationships always need both to compromise, but only if it's to a healthy degree for both, else it's just not meant to be
My ex husband ruined my life. I developed severe PTSD, chronic illness, nearly doubled my weight, was crippled with debt, he forced me to quit school, and I had to move back in with my parents for a long time (which I know is a privilege but it was rough). It’s been 6 years and I’m finally back in control of my life, my finances, my mental and physical health, and am returning to my university in the fall ❤
@@chelseashurmantine8153 thank you ❤️ and for real. The effects of his ab*se lasted far longer than the marriage did. I feel like I finally have that fire back that he almost completely dampened.
I'll always stand behind this : hold men to HIGH STANDARDS. Actual high standards. You're fine on your own, they're not. Always remember that. Men are providers because they need to pour in as much as they can to keep you exactly because you're completely fine on your own AND THEY'RE NOT. Stay tf awake.
@toxinhex876 Genuine question When you say girls are fine on their own but men are not Then why wanting to be in a relationship with men? Why accepting to be in a relationship with a man? When you say you dont need men but they need you why not just refuse when any man shows interest in you? When you say men are providers because they need to pour as much as they can to keep you because you are fine on your own and they are not then why being with him? Is it to feel superior or needed by someone? I genuinly want answers
@@zakiaitslimane658 I haven't had a boyfriend in over a year. I can keep my standards high and reject those who don't live up to them exactly because I'm fine on my own. Men are an addition to my life, and even so not a permanent one, not a necessity. I've actually dropped several guys who kept trying to nudge me towards marriage when I explicitly said off the bat that I'm not interested in that. I love to live alone and that's going to be my default forever. I used to date a lot in my teens and early 20s but the thing which made me stop for years was 23+ yo guys completely disregarding how I don't want to have a life with them even though initially they were very adamant they don't want one with me either. From where I stand, men definitely feel a much greater need to settle than women do, and for a good reason. I know way more put together single middle aged + women than men. The men live in squalor and neglect their health, it's a very widespread phenomenon.
@@tystheticchannel3733 I agree, we really need to do this and stop thinking ignoring red flags is going to benefit us or this hookup culture thinking it’s going to benefit those black women who are hopeless romantics who constantly fall for the okie dolks, but it doesn’t.
When I was 17/18 years old, my ex told me that If I truly loved him, I should quit my place at my dream university which is one of the top universities in the world so I could wait for him to retake his exams. He didn't do well in his exams and him and his whole family blamed me for this. This shocked me because he saw me bust my ass for months and months and knew I was skipping meals and staying up late for these exams. He also made results day absolute hell for me - essentially punishing me for doing well. The breakup was so messy - he was obsessive, possessive and would stalk me. He would send me long emails (academic paper long) of why he was happier without me and why I "wasn't all that". When I blocked his email, he made another. I'm 23 now and thriving, but it took me 7 years to heal from the emotional abuse.
last bit reminded me of my ex contacting me every possible way, begging me to give him another chance after i left him when i realized how dumb i looked waiting like an obedient puppy for a whole year to make me his girlfriend again while having me do girlfriend duties. but anyways i’m so happy for you 🥰🥰 never allow a man to treat you like you’re below him ever again.
Thank you, you deserve the world too 🩷 I just didn’t know men were ever capable of being like this. I attended an all girls school from 11-16, and prior to that, I went to a mixed elementary school where I remember boys being kind. They used to even wipe my tears and give me a hug. So you can imagine the shock I had from 16 onwards to now to encounter the opposite sex being misogynistic, abusive, manipulative… Where did it go wrong in their human development 🥲
@@gladitsnotmeafter a lot of therapy,I realized that one of the main reasons I dated down so consistently for so long was for the benefit of security in the relationship..,,I KNEW they weren’t gunna leave me because they had no job,no home,depended on me for everything….and had no desire for that to change. So that’s a benefit I guess, but not one that’s worth it.
@@mimi.dixon.b not to mention how if a relationship you described were to succeed, you’d need to be a bit abusive yourself. It’s abuse if a partner stays in a relationship with you because they fear losing necessities like shelter, their children, food, money, etc. (of course, on the assumption they weren’t a leech or abusive themselves).
It truly angers me how being sought after and then being devalued by the same man is such a universal girlhood experience. I'm truly sorry for anyone who has had to go through this and i'm so glad that we're finally waking up to their games. much respect to her for bringing this to the forefront.
Yep it wouldn't suck as much if women had each others backs but the majority of us don't and will also perpetuate these harmful ideas to other women especially younger women but I do think it's getting better we are starting to wake up!
If you're naive enough, it can happen more than once, before your brain can even fully develop 😂 It's a nuclear wasteland out there and the organ harvesters are looking for hearts my babes.
hehe (laughing bc this is resonating so deeply)...it is sooo crazy that the men who are supposed to protect can literally be AGAINST you. it blows my mind. aww bestie
Yeah my older brother told me "I'm not shit, and I better stop thinking I am", trying to talk down to me bc of my education I'm in college and I'm in speech and debate he said that to me after I won a tournament. Lol it's not my fault he resorted to selling drugs 🙄 some people hate seeing others shine
So did mine, he never supported me getting an education and tried everything in his power to get me to quit college and get knocked up out of wedlock. (very ew.) Here I am, no kids, a degree, a fat bank account, and his ass on no contact. You can't even trust your own father.
@@user-rc2yf8kt7iMy father is the biggest op I ever seen he destroyed my mum. I wanted to learn how to drive and he didn’t even let me learn so I have to learn how to drive all by myself. I hate him so much
I love the notion between incels that 80% of women are competing for the top 20% of men... yet here it's the men that want to date out of their league, the math is not mathing
I think when men say "out of their league", they mean physical appearance. This often is the case because, le'ts be real, women are beautiful beings and a lot of men are just average looking. However, I think women refer to the social status / income of their partner in terms of "out of their league". In the end, it all comes down to the fact that society holds a different understanding of succeeding / league for men and women
The incels stole the 80/20 rule that we used to talk about in the Army. 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people. This stat that these incels are using doesn't even apply to dating. It applies to work distribution and just how lazy most people are in this world.
There's a youtuber from my country and he's a doctor. He was from a really poor family and through scholarships, he was able to go through med school and residency. He met a girl during this time and she was from a better background. Despite the class differences, they fell in love and dated. This guy, being poor af, still took her on these cute little dates (they were mostly inexpensive and he never once made her pay or even split the bill), he encouraged her to become a doctor too. He's now a hot shot doctor, earns well and has a great lifestyle! And guess what, she's a resident now and he cooks her breakfast, takes lunch boxes to her and drops her off everyday. He pays for the apartment next to her hospital even though it's expensive and the minute he started earning, he proposed! Such men are out there and they're more common than we think. Also, she changed his life just as much. She supported him emotionally and mentally through his education, stood by him though people made fun of their differences and was very encouraging of his businesses and YT. ❤
This all sounds nice except for the red flag that he takes her to work. Controlling men need to drive you everywhere. Not saying this is him but that was a red flag to me.
@@kulaniwarner7262 I politely disagree with you. If he has the means, he will gladly take you to places because he wants you to be comfortable and not commute in a stuffed train/bus. That's not a red flag, in fact, I think we forgot how does a real red flag look, and there's plenty of real life unfortunate examples of that in this comment section.
@@elastrorey5722 I can totally see where you're coming from. I don't think it's inherently a red flag but I have heard SO many abuse stories and a lot of them include the control over transportation. I'm not saying for this story it IS a red flag, only that it can be. Also, to some, like getting a ride to work from a lover is totally normal. If my husband gave me rides it's not a red flag but for someone in a high abuse situation, it is. It depends on the circumstance, for sure.
I am one of these women who doesn't have a degree because of a man. Not because he discouraged me but because I poured my heart into it and was devastated when he cheated and left so I let depression cause me to quit school and my job. I feel so dumb. I wasted three years intensely depressed until finally I met another man and wasted my time and energy on him. Jumped into things and became a mom when I could have focused on my education. That man brought me nothing but debt and abuse. Don't do it!
Mental health is so important I wish people realised this more when you have bad mental health is makes everything 10x more harder especially concentrating in school
Never let a man move in with you, because then they have squatters' rights. Only ever move in with him, with only his name on the lease, and always have money saved in your own account so you can leave whenever you want to or need to. I know this from personal experience.
This!!! PLEASE do not let a man move into YOUR place, or better yet, stop living with guys before marriage. Get a freaking roommate, that way you won’t be expected to cook, clean and provide wife duties for a boyfriend. I hate that one so much.
Careful with this. He can kick you out any time. Id say have both your names on the lease but save all your income. He pays all of rent. That way if he starts acting up you can break it and get your own apartment. But ya if you dont feel comfortable having your name, have enough money to get storage/hotel til you find your own apartment.
@@HappyCrackers He would have to give you 3 to 30 days notice to vacate the property, in writing, and then go through the eviciton process, which takes 6 to 8 weeks to get you out. Not that any woman should stay that long. But whoever is not on the lease but has been staying in the apartment, has squatters' rights. Don't let a man, or any roommate do that to you. You can't jsut kick someone out without notice.
Move in with a guy until he marries you. If he truly wants you he will behave accordingly with a proper ritual that is public and your family can see it. Weddings exist for a reason
@@HappyCrackersif you’re smart even while you’re living with him, you will be saving as much as you can so if he did want you you out, you can leave with no issue ! If both if yall are on the lease and he doesn’t pay and you can’t pay for some reason that could affect you getting a future place
Girl, ladies, listen to Elle. Seriously. I'm a 34 year old woman and I've lived through some eye-opening and life changing events. I've survived abusive relationships. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. YOUR. STUDIES. FOR. A. MAN. Do not give up your grind or job or apartment or goals FOR A MAN. Focus on yourself FIRST. Get that skincare routine going, excel in your studies, secure your degree, thrive in your job/career, eat your veggies, stay hydrated, go to the gym, hang out with your girl friends, make time for yourself, pet all of the dogs, and go to therapy. I'm not kidding. I want you all to THRIVE.
I agree. I'm 33 and have done all the things you mentioned and consistently prioritized myself over men. I am doing much better than most of my female friends who date men. Also, I realized I'm bi so I exclusively date women now lol
Omg... one of my college friends is a man*. He was complaining about wanting a wife (he made no mention of wanting a gf first. Skipped straight to wife), but then also complained about having to spend money on said wife and dates despite being an ENGINEER FOR BOEING and couldn't name ONE SINGLE THING he wanted in a wife beyond "hot bod". I was frank with him and told him no woman who knows her worth would ever in a million years think of settling down with him unless he made some HUGE attitude changes towards women.
And let me guess...he is not going to listen to you lol. He will choose to listen to alpha males online instead and then wonder why women don't like him
that's just unrealistic in any point of time and place. Trad men pay, liberal men date first and radical ones do equal chores. even the podcast bros don't actually apply their logic while dating.
Well kids ain't cheap. Ladies make him prove he is MADE of money before you give that thing a kid. He should pass the test with ease before you proceed.
Just to add: When you're moving in with a guy, not only is there a high probability of you doing more of the housework, there is also NO NEED anymore for him to make ANY effort to acess you. No dinner dates, no nice little texts and attention, no gifts. It's not necessary, because you're sitting there on his sofa already. Moving in together shifts the dynamic completely. You become part of the furniture.
Yah depends on the situation or would need more context. My sister in law became disabled and then passed away early. My fiancé (now husband) never asked anything of me but he was preparing to move across the country to help her. And I may well have joined him. When she died, I was the one who offered for us to take guardianship of his teen nephew. And it was f-ing exhausting but it was the right thing to do even tho it was thankless work to care for an angsty and traumatized catty teenager who was grieving the loss of his mom. Love is sacrifice
@@ewalala682 her name is Liz you can move to Iowa and help her raise her kids... also you should know she does not have a source of income, her kids are "unschooled", and she lives off her family. Good luck 👋
@Girlyppop being shitty people and judging women for everything, playing with their time and never taking their relationships seriously takes confidence
When you're talking about men using women who cut off their wings, just makes me think about how that man cut off Maleficent's wings. He used her trust for his own gain.
They'll date out of their league and intentionally drag you down, though you'll believe no one this close to you could do a thing like that. Example: I was about to open my own store and dated a guy who delivered pizza after he finished college. He would constantly make me feel stupid and talk about other 'hot' women. I eventually met his therapist and she told me he felt threatened by me and was deliberately trying to drag me down. That's some real woman allyship right there! I chewed him out and left him. A few months later, he found me to show me his acceptance letter for graduate school. He was inspired to get his act together and study what I studied. Now he has a full career. SO, he was behind the scenes glowing up while he was dragging me down.
"He was inspired to get his act together and study what I studied" -- so he can't even be original and find his own field of interest, he just had to copy you instead. Wow.
@@patriot-hj5vx Yes, she absolutely broke ethics and this is arguably pretty awful & she could have lost her career. She and I had been drinking and met through friends; her wall was down. But she changed my life for the better. She learned first-hand how this guy was making me suffer and draining me of my energy while I was naive, caring, and fighting to do something good with my life. I learned that some people who I feel close with and respect want to take me down a couple notches so they don't feel so bad about themselves.
@@patriot-hj5vx Yes, it was definitely unethical. And surprising because she could have lost her career if anyone found out. She and I were both drinking when we met through friends. At the same time, she protected me. She gave me a wakeup call and an important lesson that I've kept with me.
@@bloodmajesty414 Remarkable how I felt terrible around him while he hoarded all this admiration for me that he never shared. He felt inspired by our time together and improved his life while never showing that he even respected me.
this is why rachel broke up with ross in friends. he interrupted their first date for some stupid work thing that wasn't even urgent. and apparently he had loved her since high school. when she finally got an amazing job that she busted ass for, what did he do? WAH WAH WAH you dont have time for me WAAAHHh he wanted her to quit her "silly" job. then showed up with a ridiculous picnic bc he was insecure. and then slept with the xerox place hussy 5 minutes later.
This is why I hated that show. There were definitely a few funny moments but overall it’s a crappy show that teaches dubious lessons. Like, sure, Rachel. Get with the loser that made your life more difficult than it needed to be, and give up the dream job abroad in order to be with said loser. This is why nobody likes Ross. Lol.
THIIS! It was never about the 'were they or weren't they on a break' thing, it was how he acted before that!!! What pisses me the most is that he never owned up to that and apologized, but rather always brought up that they were on a break, even Chandler told him to get over that!
I never understood that phrase and people who took that phrase seriously. Like, it could be used by both of them. But why is it often being used by one person only and why does the other person accept that?
It blows. my. mind. the way men just go through life not calculating every single move, every decision, every path, weighing every potentially damning consequence. *alll* my guy friends are currently managing small-to-medium level crises right now as a result of their own actions (or inactions) and are always complaining to me. But I’m like… why didn’t you see this coming? Why didn’t you see this 4 steps ahead when you decided not to do xyz 6 months ago? Why did you miss that deadline? Why did you think you’d get away with doing something stupid? Etc. etc. i have yet to meet a man who actually has the *foresight* and understanding of *consequences* that women have.
I was in a band half of which was two people who were engaged, and one time when the guy was supposed to drive us to practice he told the woman last minute that he hadn't paid the last deposit for the apartment they were buying that day because he wanted to sleep in. I was in awe. The deadline was that day. He drove to the bank and me and the drummer waited in it in the parking lot for about an hour. The woman working there agreed to close up an hour late (she didn't have to do it at all and yet she did) because they got there 5 minutes before closing time. The fiance was livid. He did stuff like that all the time and we, him included, had this joke that two hours late to him is a slight delay.
I have yet to meet a man who does his taxes on time. They all file an extension the day it’s due. Like you had 3 months but you want to have a wife and kids someday? You don’t deserve them.
I just hate how a lot of girls become absolute losers when they get a boyfriend and for what? You throwing your grades away because he says youre pretty and tells you to come over?? you suddenly treat your friends who you've known for YEARS as second rate because he 'just gets you' and is your 'best friend' ???? BFFR
Exactly! I actually have two friends who are like that and it's always the same - they ghost me whenever they have a new boyfriend, completely act like I don't exist and never have time for me. They also ignore all of my warnings BUT they're still running to me with their tears after their dudes dumped them and left them with bad consequences because of their dumb choices. I promise myself that I'll try to not let that happen to me again because GIRLS I told you so many times and I'm not your trashcan when yet another dude disappointed you.
ugh i’ve been like this before minus the whole girl friend thing and it’s soooo embarrassing to look back at. thankfully i FINALLY recognized how stupid i looked after 2 1/2 years and left him. i’ll never pick a man over my education ever again lol
This brings to mind Kelvi McCray, the 18 year old shot and murdered by her ex boyfriend while on FaceTime with her friends. She was letting him stay in her house because “he had no where else to go”. Even teenage girls need to really heed this warning.
During the last semester of my first degree I met this dude. I was taking a 120% course load at the time and wanted to make the Dean's list at graduation and I told him that right off the bat. He expressed displeasure but also said something along the lines of: "I respect what you're doing, but not 100%, like I respect it 50%". I ended jp dropping an elective course because it was giving me more grief than pleasure and I still was on track to graduate on time and with honors. NOT because of him. He and I broke up mid-semester but were talking as acquitances for a few months thereafter. Anyway, were chatting by message one evening after work, when I get home and see mail from my College stating I had made the Dean's List. I inform him on this. He does not text back until a couple of days later, completely ignoring my achievement and picking up an old talking point instead. By comparison, I mentioned the Dean's list to an exchange student I had slightly befriended and SHE was over the moon for me.
@schuylergeery-zink1923 👏 YES. At first I thought it was because we were new and infatuated and he would want to spend more time with me, hence the slight displeasure. How naive I was, lol
My ex almost got me trying to get an apartment together. We kept getting denied because his credit was horrible. I ended the relationship because he was verbally and mentally abusive. Although he was not physically abusive, I kept getting health complications and my energy was drained. I knew that was a sign for me to leave. I got approved immediately for an apartment after I ended things and I have been so much better without him. I thank god everyday for blocking us from getting that apt. That was a learning lesson. Ladies these men are nothing but leeches that will suck us dry and move in to the next. Put yourself first always
When I was 17 the older man I was with told me I had to drop out of college in order for him to stay with me so I did. He then left me anyways lol. Then last year I was living with my partner and going to school and he became catatonic so I dropped out to take care of him and then he got better and cheated on me 🙃 now I live alone and work full time. If I want to finish school I’ll have to do it online will working full time. And now I’m done with dating men lol
I dropped out of college to take care of my partner and his two young kids. He was on welfare and played video games all day, the poor kids were living in filth. I worked two menial full-time jobs and ruined my health before I wised up. It's really tragic when they get you when you're so young because it can be much harder to break away. Now I'm in the same boat as you, done with men! 😅
@@schokococoa575some parents are complicit in the men’s behaviour, my friend who’s also 17 currently told me she is getting her dad to persuade her boyfriend to let her have a job. Bear in mind the bf does not provide for her or live with her. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
One of the biggest reasons men reach their goals and are great at achieving their dreams is because they were taught to sap the energy and resources from women in order to give themselves a leg up. I can’t imagine where I would be now if I had a live-in maid, interior designer, life coach, Personal chef and everything else women are expected to do on top of building a career. Never trade in your dreams to build up a man’s*. You can give yourself so much more than he ever could.
My mom always told me too that a man should always love the woman more than the woman loves the man. I've seen plenty of men reject this because they want to be loved "equally" and they can't stand the idea that a woman doesn't love them more than they do. They see it as an ego/princess competition rather than logic based on biology, sociology and psychology. Those who get it, get it.
If many women didn't love and invest as much as they do, many children would be homeless. MANY other men would be homeless. As much as I wish we were bult that way in order to gain respect, we just aren't. When they love us way more, it is then equal. Periodt.
My mom told me the same thing too. Always make sure a man loves you more. The reason is he will subconsciously know you are willing to walk away from him if he does BS
I have always dated down because I was taught that a bare minimum man would be my only option since the women in my family have all ended up with that type of partner. I dated this broke guy that was not attractive but tried to convince himself he was and that he deserved a “curvy baddie” like me, even asked me to dress up like a “baddie” more often without giving me money for clothes or makeup like…sir where is your investment in me? Am I expected to invest my own money to look extra good so that you can benefit from that? What am I even getting from this? He even had the audacity to tell me that I was definitely a keeper because I’m studying nursing and would be able to provide him with a great lifestyle smh 🤦🏻♀️ I’m disgusted with myself for having allowed that disrespect and giving that man any of my time and energy. He was vile. Needless to say, I learned and am setting high standards. The women in my family tell me I’m too picky and think too highly of myself but I am not continuing this generational curse of ending up in unhappy relationships where I am disrespected. Thank you for making this video, girlies don’t let these men* make you think they’re the prize. It’s giving “I will take advantage of you/use you” vibes and nobody deserves that. You deserve better!
This is me to sis, stay strong. You remember how your mom fn felt all those days your dad dogging her out. I wouldnt even raise my son the way men have treated me so dont let them be in your life period. Its hard, keep dating looking for that mature man, stay grounded, atay patient ❤ love you sis stay positive i know how you feel.
Please if you’re in a relationship and you know they’re not your person…please leave. Don’t waste your beautiful time and life force energy on someone else. Pour that self love into yourself FIRST. You can give from your leftovers.
This is me. I went to college and graduated. Now I am going to grad school and no boyfriend in over 6 years. I don’t want one and don’t find the appeal if all they will so is distract me and not add on to my life🤷🏻♀️ can’t miss what you don’t have
@@S.G.W.Verbeek i guess for me it would not only be distracting but even annoying to care for someone else’s emotions besides my own. A bf or potential life partner could add to my life but def not take away- I wouldn’t allow it. Either way I kind don’t care about having a significant other as long as I am fulfilled with my career and goals
Loved the video! I’m in my mid 30s and I’ve seen SO MANY women settling with losers just to not be “alone”. All that type of men end up being a ballast. 😅
It took until 31 for me to realize being alone isn’t bad. It’s actually… amazing? Now I’m wondering why everyone was trying to scare me into settling when all I needed was my own company. It feels like a conspiracy. Honestly the best thing a woman can do for her physical and psychological wellbeing is stay away from men. All the women who feel insecure without a man are so misguided… hopefully temporarily.
You're 100% spot on, and I hope the girlies listen! I'm a dominant woman. I rizz boys up, I take the lead role in relationships, I'm comfortable in that space. I get the pretty boys who are "out of my league". I've been telling my girlfriends for YEARS, he should be worshipping you. You should be in control. Why is he walking all over you?! Especially when he looks like THAT?! 🤣
It's mind-boggling, but they are quite a lot of people, all civil and harmless looking, who get such a happy sense of power and deep satisfaction through seeing how much severe damage they can do to your life.
3:43 "You're helping him save up to buy a house for him and his wife" 😅 🔥🔥🔥🔥 somebody call an ambulance cause i know a pickmesha got burned with that one.
Shit I even saw this happen, with my own mother for my step-dad*, and it was traumatizing. My mom disgusts me so much for her being hellbent on being a pick-me until the end. It's actually scary. Edit: typo!
@eyesthrurosecoloredglasses My own mother is such a pick-me. It is distressing! I try to talk to her, but nothing sticks. It's like "You are nearing 60. Have you learned anything?"
I left my husband yesterday. I am 26 and he is almost 28. Besides the physical abuse, he reduced my standard of living below the one I had at 21 living alone even though we both work. And also below the standard of living my parents provided me with as a teen. A husband is supposed to improve his wife's living situation or at least keep it the same. He destroyed my standard of living. I had to cook, clean, and serve him for him to deny me basic needs like cleanser for my acne from Walmart that I can easily EASILY provide for myself when I'm single. Goodbye 👋 I'm about to get my nails done for the first time in 4 years because I'm free of financial abuse
I had an ex who asked me if my boss ever asked me to choose between my boyfriend and my job, what would I choose. I said that's never going to happen there is no point in thinking about this, but he was getting so heated that I wouldn't just instantly say I'd choose him. I sent him the graphic of Maslow's hierarchy of needs and pointed out how employment security is foundational and below love and relationships, not to be sassy but to explain how desperate love is not worth having. He freaked out saying he doesn't need charts to prove anything because his feelings know the truth and he was mad at me for a week because I wouldn't hypothetically quit my job for him. Good riddance, all he did was play online poker while living in his parents house with no job and no goals. I realized I have a soft spot for people I knew when I was a child and that compromised my judgement, never again...
Girl - my GAY guy friend was sassy af! He agreed to be in my wedding party and then a month before claimed he wouldn’t be attending bc he was gonna be out of town. I was heartbroken and confused. Well turns out he was in town and was doing a drag queen costume of him as Ruth Bader Ginsberg for Halloween the day before my wedding posed in our city. My mom called him out for it. These sassy men… then when I told him he was not my friend bc of his lies and BS he got really mad. 🤦🏼♀️
Canada paid $100MILLION of our tax money to house the homeless last year. Therefore, I have already done my part in housing the homeless. I'm not doing more.
Especially when you're the one carrying the child and breastfeeding. You are already paying by doing the pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding! His equal contribution is being the Provider by providing the house, car, furniture, clothes and other resources to make sure your pregnancy and postpartum time is comfortable and ideal to produce a health baby and abundant breastmilk. A woman should not have to do double duty!
I tend to agree as im quite religious but when we dont have the body they like...they leave. And then were still alone and have a bunch of kids. So i have a job, money and i prefer being alone.
@@etcwhatever I understand what you mean 🫂 ❤️ Unfortunately many modern men have the audacity to devalue the women who produce living, breathing beings (children). Imagine doing something as amazing as cloning a human being and pushing it out of your body and then being told you're less valuable after doing that. It's an abomination. They pay male scientists millions of dollars just to attempt to make another human clone and they can't. But when women actually do it, they are demeaned. When the Creator makes humans it's a marvel but when women do it, it's somehow lowers their status? Make it make sense! May the Lord be with you and your children 🕊 You are brave and strong 💪 ❤️
in Canada they recommend you have 80k saved if you want to take the surrogacy route. if he wants a baby free of charge - you better make it worth the 2 years salary im missing out on, or at least a good experience. 😩
Men who feel entitled to a working mommy housewife who picks up their dirty laundry never stopped to think why women and men had the roles they had for the longest time before the industrial revolution (and even for a while after). Back then, no one had much time to chill. Life was on the go constantly and everyone did some sort of work that had to be done (there was still very much quite a bit of sexism but that's another topic). Nowadays you have a lot which lessens the physical labor at home, but you can't do that with a child. The only option is still the natural and very intense one. Even with all the technology available to them, men expect women to do laundry and clean the house instead of taking one or two simple chores off her shoulders so she doesn't have to worry about it. Instead, they scold their wife for not doing it while she has her hands full with babies. The audacity.
When my Paps was still living, he told me to remember NOT to live with a man I am unmarried to. This video just made it clear why my dad has told me that.
Ladies...I'm 54...not just college but learning a trade or starting a business...especially a business. A business is like a baby, in its infantile stages, it demands your constant attention. So, don't give up your dreams. There was a woman whose husband was stressing her out and she had a side business, and she was making about 150,000 a year on her business. When she divorced him, her hustle increased, and she became a million-dollar company. The company name: Southern Elegance. She sells candles....don't let ANYONE hold you back. Man or woman.
How many men do yall know who keep their home super clean and organized even when theyre single? Ive found about 3 in my whole life and 2 of them are my dad and grandpa. So ive found 3 naturally clean men...and ive lost count of the ones ive found who let their homes be nasty. Plenty of half-assed tidy ones, lots of outright dirty ones 🙄 i dont live with men anymore
I genuinely thought I found one for the first time ever, but soon realized she was in the early stages of transitioning and just not talking about it yet. I know that sounds like a joke but it’s what happened.
My maternal grandpa was extremely clean, organized, and hygienic. When he passed we found his closet immaculately neat, with his pants all creased and his shirts pressed. He would do this himself, even when he was already debilitated by hemodialysis. I miss him terribly.
One of my three brothers, he's even cleaner than me! Then one that's semi clean, and one who can't be bothered. His room looks like a dumpster and he doesn't even ventilate. So we have a whole range within the same family. Kinda crazy.
Important fact: check out his house before you even consider moving in with him, I know men who can’t do basic cleaning, ask to use the restroom and think if that’s the way you want to live!!!
You know what's crazy? This applies to parents who don't want their kids to move out and start living on their own. The wmotional guilt tripping and threatening to cut off all contact with you if you dare to live on your own is CRAZY!
Been there, done that. Cut off contacts for 2 yrs & now I'm halfway thru my online program while holding out a promising career. My mom's life, on the other hand, is miserable even w the big house that she manipulated my brothers & relatives into buying. Couldn't even pay me back the $40 Shiseido sunscreen when the bill hits despite her constant BIG TALK about not NEEDING us when she gets old 🙃 Toxic parents will devalue u & only switch up their way when they realize the danger of old age loneliness. Fun to sit back & watch 🤭
I'm going through that right now, and i Lost all Hope i don't know what to do and i know I will never amount to anything thanks to these assholes (my family)
It’s wild bc as a romance writer we know women FANTASIZE about having a man out of her league love her and want her but in real life we’re not delulu 😂 😭
I really love the nuance of: it's not about refusing to split rent, it's about *being compensated for your labor*. If he genuinely splits the labor load and cleans after himself, splitting the rent is fine and good because you're partners tackling household problems together.
I bought my house at age 30, over 20 years ago, and lived alone ever since. I don't know how anybody can stand to share their home with a sloppy guy. I would never. If he doesn't have his own place, I could never respect him. Never. Men need to be able to take care of themselves and their own homes. I know it's harder now, in the current economy, but your number one priority in life should be to put down your own roots in your own property, whatever it takes. Relationships cause misery. Home ownership, even if it takes time for you to get it, gives you satisfaction, peace, a place to cocoon and self soothe, and just pride of ownership. No relationship will give you that level of joy.
As someone who didn't learn to love herself enough to recognize these dusty men for what they would take from me, these videos have been so helpful in healing. If I hadn't found this channel I probably would have the same mindset and would probably still be allowing men to take advantage of me, financially and otherwise. Now I find myself destitute but more determined than ever to get myself where I deserve to be. Thank you! 🙏🏼❤❤❤
I feel really similarly. I hope you fill your self love cup ALL THE WAY UP! I feel there is a lot of collective healing happening coming from these videos. Sending you well wishes ✨🙏
The worst thing you can do is depend on a man. Depend on anyone, really, unless you're a child (duh). You do NOT want to put your life in the hands of someone else. Not friend, family, or lover.
💯 so many men in the military want their wife to “support” them, meaning, leaving everything and everyone behind to spend years in solitude, going from place to place like a gypsy and holding the fort for him while he builds his career. It’s all about him, you practically become his property and the property of the government with no way out! Divorce in the military are not that high for nothing!!! Also most are cheaters and double timers 🙄
I own a house outright. My ex-husband would waa waa waa over every little bill. I remember him screaming over not splitting a $40 water bill. Sir, where do you think you live? Who bought everything in it? I have prepayed.
Same here and im glad i didnt marry the guy. He became a dirty slob. Had a cat and he didnt clean the cat litter. My house smelled of cat poop. I kicked him out and i dont regret it. He married a another woman 1 year after the break which tells me he was cheating. Fine by me. I want to never ever see his face again. I have 2 houses 😂😂😂
Btw im autistic i dont have a lot of friends and even the few i had he wanted to isolate me...whenever i said he had to shower or to clean the cats box he said it was my friends brainwashing me. So bl00dy infuriating
My ex husband convinced me to adopt a cat with him (I love cats but I’m allergic and I know how much of a responsibility they are). Of course he neglected that cat and I ended up doing all the labor and paying all the expenses. When we split I ended up adopting her out to a friend of mine who is giving her the best life and is not allergic, I get to see her whenever I want. Thank god too bc he ruined me so badly I’m barely recovering financially, emotionally, physically, and career-wise 6 years later.
@@etcwhateveralso autistic (and adhd) and had to learn the hard way that being "difficult" actually protects us. Don't be shy about requiring work from potential partners.. work negates the point of using someone, and they will run. Unmasking and just letting it fly doesn't exactly bring in a lot of people, but the right ones will stay because they know it's worth it, because their intentions are good.
When i was younger, my dad would instill in me to not focus on dating or choose a man over my own goals. Im thankful for him teaching me this, even tho growing up it did suck seeing my friends dating and i didnt have much luck, but at the end of the day, its better to have ur own solid foundation rather than rely on anyone else
I fell behind my studies for a guy. He would message me when he was free. I would talk to him even when i wasn't. When he ghosted me and i blocked him, i got into one of the best law colleges of my country and i realised while i saw a loud red flag and cut him of, i couldnt see the quiet red flag that actually started damaging my FUTURE!
Im single and my brother tells me im too 'selfish' as a woman and will 'grow old alone'. FYI I won't settle for anything less than a man just for the sake of having a man. Focusing on my job and on getting my license ❤
I literally told my husband I don’t want to have kids because it would take my muchness away. He said he supports me no matter what. And that, friends, is why I married him. He supports anything I want to do. If I want to invest half our income, he’s happy. If I want to go to Japan for three weeks, he’s coming with. If I want to stay home for two weeks because I’m depressed, he’s buying groceries and starting dinner. He adds value to my life, and gives me a safe place to be my true self, so I can push toward my goals and my dreams, creating a life with my unmistakable signature. They exist, girls. Don’t settle for less. You are precious, and you deserve someone who knows what a unique and invaluable gift it is to be your partner in life.
I really hope you discuss investing half of your (as if yours and his) income beforehand. If you decide to really share the accounts and to perceive the money as both of yours - a partner deserves to have a say.
@@majalisiecka7443 of course that’s true. I only meant to use that as an example to say nothing is out of bounds for my goals and how we want to work together to achieve them. Being 100% in charge of our finances isn’t something I necessarily want for myself either. I just meant to say there is nothing off the table for discussion, there is no goal we can’t achieve, and he invests in my goals as much as I invest in his, i.e. we take on each others goals as our own. It’s not one-sided as can be the case in many a traditional marriage, and my husband is especially sensitive to the realities women face in regards to domestic and emotional labor, so he is extra supportive to balance that out. But for sure, PSA: do not make huge money decisions without first having a conversation with your partner.
Always put yourself first. Always prioritize your well being, safety, time. Narcissists and selfish men cannot run games on someone who loves herself more than anything else.
I've made this point several times on TikTok about sharing rent with men and so many women get mad about it. Like, I'm trying to help you but whatever. As a woman, if you need a roommate, if you need to split rent, do it with female roommates. Understand that as soon as you live with a man, it's extra work for you vis - a - vis living alone or with other women. Do what you want with that information ladies, but understand that living with a man is harder and more work for you. Always. So if you want to pay for that privilege, cool, but I don't think it's in any woman's interest to do that.
When my fiancé asked me to move in with him, he said "I'm already paying for rent, utilities, and groceries [as a single man]" so there's no reason to split bills with a man unless he's irresponsible or a predator.
Yeah. My life was ruined by a man: said he wanted a serious relationship. Committed. Lied about what he wanted and who he was, cheated with 8+ other women before he left me at six months pregnant. Had the AUDACITY to accuse me of cheating and claim they weren’t his kid. Was toxic af, picking fights instead of trying to be a parent, then claimed I wasn’t letting him see his kid and washed his hands of us entirely saying it’s all my fault. Leaving was the best thing he ever did. But this contributed significantly to my depression, I couldn’t keep my shit together enough to finish college, I developed an autoimmune condition, I’ve got so much chronic injuries I can’t play running-games with my daughter. I’m 37. Never settle for a man. Never compromise yourself for a man. Never go against your instincts about a man, no matter how well or how pretty he lies.
It is truly unbelievable how much the wrong man can hold you back. It seems to me that the reason for this often is a fragile male ego, comparing yourself to your partner and wanting to "win" in this competition. They want to keep the woman in their life small, so they can feel big. These are often men who are not accomplished in the world, so they take it out on their partner. My ex also had a problem with me studying and he made fun of my profession . This made me question myself a lot and I almost quit. Now I've got a scholarship and am almost finished with my degree, I've gladly lost him and gained a lot of self confidence, health and money instead :)
I remember when I first became a CNA and was working overnights in a nursing home memory care unit . Verbal abuse, physical abuse, body fluids- that job is not easy. And I was one of the ‘lucky’ nurse aids in my town making $12.50. I knew right away I needed to keep building my skills because I could not be doing this work physically for the next 30 years for what they pay CNA’s. I told my (now ex) that I needed to figure out a way to go to school for something additional. I remembered him discouraging me and telling me to ‘wait it out for a few years’ Thankfully I did not, and got an additional medical certification as soon as I could work out the money and logistics- and I don’t regret it for a second.
@@aphroditeg2712 you are so kind! thankfully it hasn’t been my full time job for over a decade, but I will still occasionally pick up overnight home aid or hospice shifts if I like the client ❤️ ETA I say thankfully because my back and wrists would have given out by now if I was still doing it full time 🙃
There was a man i thought was my “friend” but who wasn’t really my friend who got happy when I suffered from severe physical illness and took a hit to my academic career as a result😑 i hate people dude
I don't know if that's what you saw too, but.. this harmless face suddenly overcome with quiet glee, once they see someone fall and suffer.. shocking, and sickening.
The only people in my life who ever flat out accused me of being selfish were people who were abusing me and were panicking because they were losing control over me and were trying to shame me back into being brutalized and objectified by them and I wouldn't participate anymore and had more boundaries they wanted to violate.
This was my mother. She was going to nurse school and dropped out due to pregnancy. Did he step up, take care of his family? No, he sat in his feminine energy and waited for my mother to work and provide for the family. He rode other women around in a car she bought and maintained. After over a decade of such abuse he then discarded her for another woman who did complete nursing school so she could take care of him instead. Ladies be very careful and very smart.
Gross! My now husband when we first started dating was my biggest supporter for me to go to law school. He was impressed by my intelligence and academic achievement. He was up there with my parents and I barely knew him. He legit wanted me to succeed. He’s still here bragging about me and my talents to anyone who will listen. He is smitten! I’m a lawyer, musician, and novelist. And he’s my confidante, my biggest fan, and my alpha reader (even tho he doesn’t read fiction, he’s the first person who reads my books and gives me feedback 😭 he’s such a sweety). Avoid the bare minimum malicious low effort tom cat f boys at all cost!
My current boyfriend who’s human trash that I’m trying to escape from tried to tell me I should stay out in the middle of nowhere with him in his gross family home and make no money because the area we live in as hella poor and be fine with it because I don’t have to pay rent. He tried to be like well the price of living here is so low you should be fine with going from making $20/h doing what you love to $10/h at Taco Bell or some shit. Mind you I’m a skilled artist who has two degrees who gets hired often to travel the country and work because I’m that good. He’s a sous chef. That’s not a problem it’s great he loves what he does but he’s willing to make no money doing it then be cheap as hell. I’m not. I didn’t sign up to waste my life away in the country being poor just to be with him. He wants to clip my wings and let me rot here so he doesn’t have to be alone.
Gurl you need to call a friend, family or something, and stop sleeping with him anymore, just in case of "accident baby", You are currently not connected to him, run.
I’m glad you mentioned how real life is different than the online space. I don’t know a single alpha male in real life, let alone one who’s “loud and dominating” like the ones with big platforms on social media. Being that unlikable in real life will have you alone and miserable for the rest of your existence.
So true. If you are reading this and never experienced such thing you are lucky. Please never date down. Never pay a man's bill in any circumstance unless you have been married for years. It not only makes him resent you it makes you resent yourself even more
never build a man up. when a man knows someone has seen him at his worst instead of being grateful he has someone who loves him unconditionally, he sees it as a weakness and is resentful. then he trades you in for someone younger and inexperienced
I told him we can move in together when we get fet married. Im 30, ive been married and divorced a man child who absolutely tanked my potential growth during my college years. Im not giving my boyfriend 24/7 access to me for free. You want me? Well i want a guy who cleans, eats a balanced doet not door dash and who doesn't soend all his weekends staying up til 5am gaming. Baby boy saw first hand that i don't play, so guess who is working on his personal discipline and taking it seriously? Exactly. Never forget its the man that proposes, and that question is not just a gesture, if you love him but you don't think he's ready, don't say yes and tell him that. Boys like a good challenge. Don't be won too easy.
This happened to me. I was in a higher league than this guy/ex. I was spending so much time with him, that I didn't focus on my studies. My fault - took me longer at school because I struggled. He told me literally to quit school and just get a job! Our relationship got bad and I had problems and continued struggling with school and life. Finally, my status dropped and he was in a higher league than me. So he dumped me :) Great! After that, I was upset for a little. I looked in the mirror and I was like who is this girl? But, I have built myself up again and doing well :) Loving life again!!
I know a badass, intelligent woman who was pressured to quit her high-paying government job she loved by her husband’s family because she was making more than him and it made him feel inferior. She’s told me while sobbing that it was the worst decision she’s ever made (she can’t get her job back for security reasons or something) and that I should never let a man convince me to do the same. Stay smart, ladies. Never let a man bring you down or force you to sacrifice things you don’t want
Nice to learn from these cautionary tales. When I floated the idea of going to grad school to my husband, he volunteered to take money out of HIS savings to support me and my education. Very happy wih my choice.