It's been a really rough week, so here's a big update on things, including:
my treatment plans for the next year
rethinking my rejection of DSP and NDIS
the crisis-level breakdown I've had, and
calling the NSW Mental Health Line.
Something I think I downplayed a bit too much is just how jarring it is to contemplate myself as "disabled" when I compare myself to my brother, but yeah, that email and some of your comments really did give me a bit of a reality check and shifted my perspective to help me see that as capable as I might sometimes appear, I really can't function in the world and society we live in. I may not see myself as "disabled", but when I think of it that way, wow.
Another thing I forgot to mention - after my session with my psychologist on Festivus, I was actually in a really bad state already. Even though it was late lunch time, I had no appetite, so I got myself some gelato instead since it would be easy to eat and at least get some energy into me but... I was so badly down that I actually couldn't enjoy the taste? Like not even the mango, which I would usually quite like. I was able to taste it, but my brain just didn't care. It really showed me just how badly I was doing to have that experience.
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2 окт 2024