I have found that the 'layer of onion' strategy is most helpful. If a certain item or situation is too difficult to tackle, I can break it up into tiny steps and come back later or even multiple times. This helped me in particular with items that could be called sentimental. I tried a quarantine box and that got me over the hump. When you see that item that you've had for ages sitting in the box weeks or months or years later, it's so much easier to accept the fact that you don't love it or use it and that you've never been able to make it work for you. Perfection is the enemy of progress when it comes to getting rid of clutter, so I think a lot of us need to forgive ourselves for struggling and simply pick one thing that can be done and then /do/ it.
I can understand what you said about being minimal and trying to “look” minimal. That was also a struggle for me. I have paintings in my living room, gallery style. They give me great joy. I have no intention to take any of them down. Your words are comforting to me. I have minimized things in drawers, kitchen cabinets, pared down any surface items to only a few basic things that I like. I enjoy my cleared kitchen counters, and having a home for everything including paperwork. Like an onion, I continue to find things that I no longer use or need, I have an ongoing donation box in my linen closet and make frequent trips to the donation center. I am at a season of life that Swedish Death Cleaning has greater meaning. Since decluttering is a way of life and those decluttering muscles are eager, that is my goal for next year. I visited a neighbor a while ago, her apartment footprint is the same as mine. Her decor is minimal, with just a few treasures. Her closet was most impressive, she had two or three skirts, dresses and tops. That’s all. I was so impressed. Whenever I see her, she is always dressed up, well groomed as if she were going to church. She is 101 years old. She is a role model for what I want to be! As I declutter, I think of how neat her space is. That’s my goal.
I have just started reading about Swedish Death Cleaning and the was directed to your channel. I am 71 so a little behind on my minimizing but the best thing I heard from you was that you took a year to declutter and then continue on after that. A year! I can do that. Thank you.
I am 70 after my parents passed, and my siblings and I had to go thru 65 years of their life together, I decided to Swedish death clean, I never had too much, but it did take a year, because it is like peeling an onion. I never wanted my children to have to go thru all our belongs, it is draining and sad. This was 4 years ago, and I live minimally now, what we have we love, use and need… I became ruthless and my decluttering muscle is strong, my children tease us, they say it will take them a long weekend to clear out out house, even Christmas time I was panicking what gifts I would be getting, I’m glad everyone honored my lifestyle… I love minimalism ❤️
My definition of minimalism for our family is everything in our house has to be used, needed, wanted, and fits in our space. We are a family of 5 living in 935 sft apartment. Since the pandemic I’m more aware of how our house makes us feel so instead of displaying every sentimental thing I will rotate those few special items now. It keeps the house claim and make me happy to see and use those special items.
I wasn't ruthless when I first started decluttering, either. The more I do it, the stronger my decluttering muscles are - and it's become much easier to let things go than in the beginning.
Used my wedding dress for my daughter to wear in a play when she was a teen, then donated it to a thrift store. Other people's wedding dresses, I have sewn into Baptismal gowns.
I think one of the biggest things is (and I see this in a lot of the FB minimalism groups) thinking there are strict rules you must follow- black and white/all or nothing. We all have to do what works for us and not be sidelined because we can't fit within the "rules".
Definitely agree with not feeling guilty about replacing worn out or just not working items. I feel if I am going to live with only a few things, then I want those things to be good quality.
I experienced so many of the same issues. You explain them all so well. I took my walls almost to bare, but now I am slowly with intention hanging some meaningful art. Minimalism is such an individual journey.
Yes!! I'm so glad you spoke about keeping things because other people think/say we should! My wedding dress is in my kids dress up box. My kids get more enjoyment than I did when looking at it hanging in the wardrobe!
I totally agree. I thought it meant I never would have to tidy up but things still get messy and need to be put back...it is just easier than if I had more stuff. and I love your point about decorating! I'm over the blank walls. Love your decorations!
I got rid of my wall art lol and we don’t regret it. I always felt pressured to have my decor match my wall art so I hated that because it would clash with things I wanted to decorate with. So it was liberating when I finally got rid of it. We haven’t replaced them yet but we’re loving our non busy walls 😊
I threw my whole bouquet! It shocked the girl who caught it 😂 she saved it 😂! Great videos, getting some great inspiration to get started on a big de clutter project!!!!!
Finding our comfort zone in this life is the journey to maturity. We're all individuals with our own list of priorities, and as we get to know ourselves better, the list takes more and more shape. I believe a very wise book teaches moderation as we travel this life. It truly is all about the journey. You're doing well, and expressing what you've learned can certainly help others. Great video!
I truly enjoy your videos, especially ones with your Mom. I can identify with her logic often and you help me to see why that logic causes us to have too much stuff. Keep up the good work.
HI Shannon, Merry Christmas! Your comment about the couch-really hit home for me and made me laugh at myself. You are so right! Currently living with a very junky couch (+10 years old) and I hate sitting on it, it even makes my back ache just from sitting on it. Never dawned on me that I should just go ahead and get a new one! Thanks for posting.
Great video. I don’t think I’ve been ruthless enough but that’s ok. It’s just taking longer than some other people. I hate that people made you question what you were doing though bc let’s face it, for the most part if you let go of something (unless it’s one of a kind) you can go get another one. It’s generally not the end of the world! And I think most of us don’t have a lot of decluttering regrets. I can’t really think of any that I have. Most stuff I get rid of I forget about immediately 😂😂😂
Great advice for new and experienced declutterers. My journey, like yours has been like an onion. I think we get better at it as we go. I feel confident in my decisions now. My house is way more manageable. I can totally relate to replacing old things. I pared down my wardrobe to fewer items that I love. However many pieces are getting worn out so I am looking forward to getting some new items in 2022 and putting the old ones in a rag bag. One thing I will never declutter are your channels Shannon, you are inspiring.
I agree on so many points here: decluttering / minimalism is indeed like peeling the layers of an onion. Also, life and needs change so you have to be flexible. Also, not letting something go even though it's not the most eco-friendly option. I have microfiber cleaning cloths that aren't the BEST option, but it won't help the environment to throw them away and buy something new right now. I'll wait til they are worn out and then make a better choice.
100% relate to this all. I feel like I have been through all of this, even the bamboo dish rack and going back to using a dishcloth and in the sink rack lol. I'm still hung up on buying things.. I've made so many mistakes but at this point I need some things to organize my space but I will be so picky I could get caught up with it for a year at least.. And end up procrastinating other things. I'm starting to decorate a bit, but my hall closet is such a nightmare it has every thing from tools and house repair, gift wrap, photos, scrapbooking, extra boxes my vacuum and wet vac, electrical cords etc. Maybe I'm asking it to do too much. Love your videos and approach to minimalism. Its my thoughts too, only you have gotten farther so its inspiring :)
Thanks Shannon!!! It’s always great to hear about someone else’s journey to prevent making the same mistakes or having in the same misguided thoughts! Gods Blessings on you and your family!! 💕
I try organization ideas out with what I have or cardboard boxes first. Then consider whether I want to buy plastic baskets. Most often not, because for me being minimal is also being frugal and environmentally conscious.
Totally agree. Also waiting too long to let go of something and then it isn’t really useful to someone else. (Over a decade to let go of my wedding dress)
It's the opposite with me , I used to put all kind of different things on the walls, to have something, or to make it more cozy.. and every time I get so tired of it in just a few days, the only thing I like are the white walls 😆
Loved listening to all of your comments. I get asked why I don't have a insta pot, air fryer, salad spinner and a plastic spoon-fork thing to serve salad and more. LOL... I get along very well without any of those things. I have done a lot of second guessing myself when decluttering too.
I am reasonably new to this minimalist journey so like you it has taken a second/third round of the house till I eventually got rid of certain things. I have a long way to go but my house ceetainly is getting easier to manage. My biggest problem is my husband and teenage daughter who are extremely sentimental and hold on to things even if they are broken, just because they bring some special memories. I just want to bin, bin, bin them but maybe through time they will understand and take the same action as me. Thanks for all your videos. They are so helpful.
Early 🥰 I have been decluttering while cleaning Christmas decor and have been waiting to listen to you while I do my stuff today! I hope you had a great holiday!
I find that the items I like best in my home are those items that are useful and nice to the eye. Speaking of children and couches... Upstairs I have my beautiful leather couch that is comfy for reading or just sitting quietly. My 4 year old grandson is invited instead to use the couch downstairs in playroom where he often snacks and watches tv, does crafts and drawing, etc. He jumps on all couches when we are not looking, so I have given up on the downstairs couch (I do clean it regularly) but I know when he is a bit older i will replace it!
Yup. Stick with what works for you. And trying to just keep important things organized. And daily stuff. Also I hate putting away my rice cooker. And air fry away ever time. I used it. To heavy to keep taking it out and putting it bk.
I am glad to hear that there are others to whom I can relate about holding on to items that I bought & is not serving its purpose. Also good point about replacing unusable items, it is hard to make the decision. I seriously try to use items in many ways as possible before giving it away, which is a challenge. Thank you Shannon for sharing & making us feel good that we are all in the same boat & surviving through being minimalistic . 😊
First, my husband and I are not minimalists in any way...more minimalistic? perhaps. After years of trying to downsize things in our home I was able to develop the "tote system". When I'm not sure if I should get rid of an item it gets put in the maybe tote with a piece of tape that is dated when it was put in... some items get a month in the tote, others six months depending on what it is and its function. I give myself this one single tote so that if it fills up I have to make the hard choice before something else goes in. The hardest items for us to part with are books and things that belonged to family that are no longer here, but we've slowly been able to narrow down our books to a few authors/series and the sentimental item by whether or not they serve a function/purpose. I've also learned that "special dishes" that never get used aren't special, they're space takers and would serve someone else that will actually use them better - those dishes with the Christmas theme are lovely, but realistically only get use once or twice a year and eat up space the rest of the year.
Recently, a friend of mine commented that I love clothes so much and how can I manage with so few clothes. I thought this was strange because I didn’t believe that I was much of a clothes horse, but I realized that one of the things that we did to socialize was to shop. It was a way to spend time together and of course we bought things. I haven’t gone very extreme with my decluttering in my opinion, but many of my friends and family think I’m a bit of an odd duck with all my purging. I’ve even had people wondering about any “ideations” that I might have…🤭😂
Really liked your points. Definitely have been hung up on keeping stuff that's junky just to not have to buy something. I realize it's better to have nicer functional items then a bunch of stuff that does not quite work.
Hi Shannon. This was a great video. I fall into so many of these traps myself. I definitely am held back by caring what probably think or allowing their opinions or comments to affect me. I have very little decor in my home and actually prefer to have more of a cozy style (just read Cozy Minimalist Home book) but feel afraid I won't do it 'right', so I hold myself back. I keep things that in my heart I know I really don't want anymore. I feel like I should keep certain things because it's something that people usually keep. I too kept my wedding bouquet for a very long time and every time I looked at it I felt annoyed and that it was just dried up, ugly and dead. Now I don't regret throwing it away, but don't know what took me so long to do it. I still have my wedding dress, but I want it and I don't feel stressed about having it. I struggle so much with breaking up sets. So if my kids have a toy and only play with a certain part of it and completely ignore the rest (usually they like the little figures but ignore the big part of the toy) I feel like I can't get rid of it so I put it in the basement or attic and let them play with the parts they like from it. Much of my house looks very minimal and is easy to tidy but the basement and attic are packed to the gills with things we don't need. I tuck things away so I know we still have them but we don't have to see them on a daily basis. The stress and heaviness still hangs over me though because I know it is here but can't seem to part with it even though I want to. One additional thing that is really hard for me is that I get so stressed out around holidays and birthdays thinking about all the gifts that will be given to them (we have 4 kids) and tons of new inventory in our homes, sometimes things I really don't even want them to have. Do you have any advice on dealing with the anxiety that comes with generous family members constantly filling our homes? I think I might already be doing what you would recommend but it still feels overwhelming. When new comes in I let my kids have all the things but I then declutter old things they no longer use. I watch for a few months and see if the newness has worn off, then when they are done with the items I will tuck them away out of our main living space. If they ask for anything back by name I definitely give it back to them. Also we have scaled down a lot of birthday party size and who we invite. I give specific gift ideas to people who ask and I have put on the invites no gifts necessary giving the person the option. My friends know me pretty well and give consumable gifts. My family does not follow my mentality at all and are more maximalists. Sometimes when my kids accidentally break a toy and we have to throw it away my heart rejoices just a little. Haha. Heather
Yes 👏💖 I can relate to all of these, for me discovering cozy minimalism really changed my outlook at what minimalism was and watching many you tubers have turned minimalism into a family style way of living 🥰
First, congratulations on having a baby on the way and Happy New Year! My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas and my response was for the two of us to go through every drawer, closet, box, tote, etc. and get rid of things that we don't use and will never use. I'm a bit worried that "we" won't be as aggressive as we need to be!
Thanks for sharing this Shannon. Great ideas! I finally got rid of my wedding shoes - for the same reason you mentioned getting rid of the bouquet - the memory is not in the shoes! I do still have my dress though! Haha!
I let my daughter wear my wedding dress as a Halloween costume and have a lovely picture of her in it riding on an old-fashioned carousel. The hem got torn (it was too long for her) so the next year she wore make-up and used it for a zombie bride costume. After that it was easy to throw away and no regrets.
1. Caring what other people say...Yep! It doesn't slow me down anymore..but it does hurt my feelings sometimes when people continually joke about my habits bc.. 2. I just don't like things on the walls except for very minimal amounts and my family doesn't understand that...3. On this one, I was SO ruthless that it bothered my husband..even though it was/ is my stuff...4. Yes! My wedding dress was a mess, in a state of deterioration and I definitely could not tell (some) people about that..yeah...5. Yep! Did this & am STILL guilty of trying things out...it's my curiosity and desire to love change...6. Yes!! I am struggling with this and beginning to overcome it. Overthinking...I am already an overthinker so I do try to tell myself, just stop analyzing, just buy it already! 7. Amen, yes! It's definitely okay to replace/ upgrade bc we are now stronger so we can confidently say, " This suits me and we beed/will use it!"
Definitely fell for the "look" issue as well. Trying to find a balance here now of a minimal feel of clean yet a place that feels homey, welcoming and comfortable
I’ve never been homely, family pics etc, I gather hobbies that become a fear not a pleasure, because of the abundance of stuff. I feel with what your saying, I threw out the “stuff” that made my house look sparse, and “stuff” the things I needed to see to use, out of site out of mind. Amalgamation of your likes as decor, so you can shop your own life, instead of throwing it away. The I can always sell, is like an excuse to buy, learn your likes, I think we don’t need to minimalist but learn ourselves and stop being drawn into, what’s right for the planet, what does minimalist mean to me. Buying into consumerism is an achilleas heal we have all done. What about a use what you have, spend when you run out and buy what genuinely makes you happy, like your artwork. So much pressure to do the right thing, save the planet, be a good mom, don’t be frivolous etc etc, you get it. Life is for joy too, who minimise’s joy. Food for thought, like what you’ve gave me. Peace and love 🤲❤️
You know what? I like to sit in the house and think about what cabinets, cupboards, shelves and so on are empty or have space and I know my house can breathe. Am I nuts? Maybe. Right now my spaces are crammed full and I feel like I cant breathe. I'm taking steps to correct but its gonna be long walk. I hope I dont need CPR before I finish. :)
I hear you. Just remember being "minimal" doesn't mean you can't buy stuff & being "frugal" doesn't mean you can't buy stuff. Minimal is not having 10 of the same item & frugal is not buying every item & waiting to replace something till you really need to.
I sometimes get hung up on fashion items by thinking I ja e something because at one time I liked it and even though I don't like it now maybe I will again in future. My biggest thing with that right now is jewelry. I have a lot because I sold it for awhile but lately every time I put on one of the big necklaces I take it off because it doesn't fit my current style which is more minimal. Will I always feel that way or will I later regret getting rid of it?
I stil have my sweet 16 dress and I’m 38 😩 I was really close to donating it a couple of months ago and then put it back in my memory box Bcause my sister said to keep it. I will never wear it but Bcause I designed it myself she thinks it’s something worth keeping. I just don’t want to regret giving it away.
You are so right! Each person has a different path...in life (and needs!) I agree, not to let others' opinion stop us... !! Donate! Donate! and..Donate some more! ...(and we help others :)) You are RIGHT! We get to a point where..we do not let oneself buy anything; I think that it is a normal reaction in the process of freeing our life from stuff and then....we learn that ...balance is the key ;) also, keeping things that are not working for a family ¨breaks¨ the nice ¨flow¨ of our life....we keep what we LOVE! (it works!!!) One important thing: to stop beating one's up...we do our best and we get better everyday! Thank you Ms Shannon for sharing this kind video with us! helene :))
Hi Shannon! Happy New Year! These are spot ON tips. I've got a key question for you. What if you have room? I'm struggling with getting rid of things that, as of right now, I have room for and may use. We'll be moving in a couple of years and I think about using that item or having room for it. I can hear you saying "Need? Use? or Love? Otherwise, it goes." Right?!
Hello! In that case, if you have the room and you think you will use it when you move then I personally would keep the items. I don't see the point in decluttering and then having to repurchase them. But one thing I would do is write all of these things down on a list and when you get to the new place see if you actually use them or still want them. Then it will be easy to let them go if you find you are not using them again. Also think about if you want to see these items for the next few years, will they bother you every time you see them? One last thing, when we moved (a few years ago) I realized with a different home and floor plan I ended up switching a lot of things out because they just didn't work in a larger/different home configuration. I hope that might help =)
@@shannontorrens1 Genius ideas!! Thanks so much, Shannon. I love the list idea. We will certainly be downsizing, which we do every time we move so I have two years to work through that list.
A new trend is the "minimalist lifestyle." Living by bare bones. A way to not only cut many expenses but also to save money which will grow wealth. But is this good for you? As I told my own subscribers, I contend that instead of having an existence of "minimalism," living in a shack and a sleeping bag, you should adopt the mindset instead. In other words, you don't have to deprive yourself and suffer to have the minimalist mindset which will give you money to invest. The minimalist mindset person will buy only what he needs. He won't go in the winter without a coat but will by the cheapest one that does the job--not the designer label. He won't buy a 50K car when he makes 80K a year. He'll buy the 15K Honda Civic used one and save money on a lesser car payment, insurance and gas. He doesn't go to TGI Friday's every week--he goes once a month and grills at home the other three weeks. He brings his coffee from home and doesn't spend 4 bucks twice a day at Starbucks down the street from his office. See the point? You don't have to live like a monk. The minimalist mindset just cuts down on the unnecessary. If you do this you will find that not only do financial problems disappear but you will grow a ton of assets on the side. Hope this helps someone out there---Charles
Great video! Comment and question: I have decluttered tons over the last decade or more and there is not one thing I have gotten rid of that I regret. Hopefully that will be inspiration for people new to the minimalist culture. :) Now for the question: Can you please give advice about what to do with photographs? When I was younger I was good about photo albums. When my parents died I inherited boxes and totes of photos of people that I don't even know who they are! I did donate their school yearbooks to the library (which they were very happy to receive) but I don't want to leave my kids with all these loose photos. There is way too many and I'm not tech savvy enough to scan and save them on a computer or anything, but what do other people do? I'd appreciate any suggestions. Thanks!
There are companies that will scan them for you and return the photos with a flash drive. I still havent done that but it's a good idea. My friend was left with boxes of pictures of unknowns. We tossed the ones no one knew and divided the others into shoeboxes for each child and grandchild. They were handed over at Christmas as a gift from grandparents who had passed.
Yes I think there are places that can do it all for you or you might be able to talk a friend into scanning the photos for you. One thing my mom did with all the photos that she was given of family that she never knew was to scan the pictures and then upload them to ancestry and then she got rid of them.
If I donate to a nonprofit thrift store like Housing Works or Salvation Army, I don’t feel bad about getting rid of perfectly nice stuff. BTW, Good Will is for profit and the CEO gets a very high salary. Stick with hospitals, churches or charitable organizations.
I think you are missing the point of minimalism, we can have people in our lives and still be minimalist. For us it's about the amount of stuff we have and we only keep what we use and need. Of course I would be more minimalist as a simple person with no kids no home and no husband, but that sounds like a sad life to me. LOL
