Miranda Hobbes: The Original Girlboss 

Steve is classic for his "dating above his paygrade" and then wanting to essentially cut her down a few notches for what she isn't as a woman (born maternal, etc.), rather than just choosing to date a nice woman from Brooklyn who wants what he wants. This is what toxic "nice guys" do. 🤦‍♀

Someone once said that women make horrible decisions on the basis of "love" and I think Miranda is an example of that. "I believe this is love, therefore I will suffer through it. In fact, the more I suffer, the stronger the love must be."

Not only it was Steve like a terrible partner. But Miranda had low self-esteem, she had some very attractive and economically stable men that wanted something serious with her, but she sabotage every single one of those.

The relationship between Miranda and Steve was, ultimately, joyless. It frustrated me to no end that she did not end up with Dr. Robert Leeds, with whom Miranda seemed so much happier and more compatible. Eigenberg has pointed out that Steve started out reading poetry and then they dumbed him down more and more. A shame for both characters.

Making the Miranda episode free seems so Miranda…

a friend taught me the phrase "not my circus, not my monkeys" and that's the only way I've been able to deal with friends that have, by my standards, risky financial attitudes. I just remind myself of that, give my savings at extra strong hug, and let it go.

I am going to be upset by this one. Miranda got the shortest end of the stick out of all the sac girls. Steve was real piece of work. I believe the term used nowadays is hobosexual. He forced Miranda to let him move in, Coerced her into having a baby, and never even tried to help with the home or bring home the bacon...

I'm VERY here for the Steve slander. He was such an Adam Sandler Shlubcore sadboy. This era was all about barely functional manboys failing upward and making way better women settle for them.

Dude, the "double standard" of the suit issue is the whole point! They're showing that wealthy women are going to be punished for their success and can't "buy" the guy's attention/committment the way that wealthy successful men can. In the early 90s, that's what counted as "creative" storytelling on women's issues.

The show did Robert so wrong, and the way they wrote him off (where suddenly he's a playa with an International House of P-----) was frankly incredibly racist and lazy. I assumed Robert wouldn't last (Blair Underwood is so beautiful that he's often cast as the Perfect Guy who makes the heroine realize she should be with the schlub; see also Something New with Sanaa Lathan) but *how* they did it still makes my blood boil.

The older I get (I'm 28 now) the more I don't vibe with Miranda. She frequently is just frankly too rude & harsh on people, when I think I initially perceived it as being a good "girl boss" and rightfully assertive. She is also famously extremely insecure on the inside. Team Samantha & Charlotte alllll the way. However, the older I get, the more Steve is also a horror-story boyfriend/husband rather than a cute golden retriever guy

samantha all the way. back then, now and forever

The basketball shooting stuff was WILD. Steve was acting like a 10 yo.

From the first time I watched the show as a teen, I never understand why Miranda (or anyone) liked Steve. I found him ugly, and he was a whiny, immature, insecure loser who essentially acted as a parasite and deliberately manipulated Miranda by always playing the victim and preying on her insecurities about being too masculine. And I agree his voice is annoying af. There’s literally nothing good about him, and Miranda was clearly only with him out of fear of being alone.

I watched SATC during my teen years and thought the characters and their lives were sooooo aspirational. Now, I am a woman who is roughly the same age as the characters in the show. I am married with children and I am a therapist…gotta tell you, no. I love that the characters aren’t perfect and reflect real human flaws, but their relationships and choices were a mess. Fertile ground for therapy and I enjoyed analyzing from my couch. I just feel much differently watching 20 years later.

Smith eventually saying "come to the playground to watch me shoot basketballs" is kinda what happened in the first movie. Samantha did her job as his manager/agent SO WELL that her life/career became all about Smith. The line in the movie "I love Smith, but does that mean that I should say his name 50 times more a day than I say my own?" was pretty groundbreaking at the time.

The Steve impressions made this soooooooooooo enjoyable.

“People who don’t like their jobs spend a lot of time on Reddit”. Damn. You got me.

I actually appreciate the character arc that Miranda becomes more selfless through motherhood. I am a doctor, always thought I wanted travel and career but not kids. After a few years of marriage, I found I did want kids. Now happily married with two kids and three dogs. Still a successful doctor with a rewarding career. It’s not a character flaw that Miranda becomes more well-rounded. I see her arc as her world expanding (albeit with realistic challenges of motherhood with a demanding career)

I am currently rewatching the series for like the 3rd time...Miranda is extremely insecure!!! I never realized how bad until this go round. The LA trip, her dating the hot detective...essentially aside from Skipper and Steve she never felt good enough for a guy.

Poor Steve. The suit episode always got me in the gut of poverty trauma. If we take away the things Steve didn't know for systemic reasons like being raised in poverty, it's easy to forgive him for not knowing. I sure was never taught how or where to go to even shop for a suit. Letting her pay for it is an entirely different matter, he really should have! I never thought he was as much of a manchild as the characters did, but it's because I give him some lenience for simply not knowing how people with more money exactly go about the same goals

Not to mention her character assassination in the follow up series. She got downgraded into a bumbling buffoon

I thought the reason Miranda doesn’t end up with the doctor is because of good old fashioned racism. The new show is much more racially diverse which I appreciate.

If Steve has no haters I’m dead

A lot a very good points and interesting discussions. My only remark is regarding their financial situation. As a long time single woman who lives on her own, saving and balancing a budget is very hard when your a single income, with barely or completely no parental or familial support of any kind 😅. You sound like you both have partner and family around. These are privileges a LOT of people don’t have. And a lot of single income households barely have any savings or retirement plans. And it was already the case in the late 90s early 00s! So Carrie having only 700$ to her name in her late 30s is not just her not being financially responsible, it’s just extremely hard when you are the only one baring 100% of ALL expenses: rent, groceries, emergencies.. eating out is cheaper at 2 and more, so is ordering food in, driving, family plan, subscriptions, insurance, etc… it’s something that’s barely covered in discussions about SATC. Having a partner/spouse and/or a supportive family aren’t a default situation for a lot of people, especially in big cities. 😅

I think the show did many of these story lines intentionally not to say that is was ok for that to be the situation but to say this is what is happening it is in fact not ok. Referring for example to the buying real estate thing. And other such situations from 20 years ago.

To be honest I have one critique on the podcast, and that is that we are now 20+ years later and the role of women in society changed since then and that is not being factored by the speakers. So yeah, maybe 20 years ago it was more okay for women to "give in" and do have kids and step back on carreer. You still get frowned upon not wanting kids, not to mention it was worse 20 years ago. I know, I am willingly childless and it is still "weird".

Maybe it's a hot take, but I don't think it was that bad that Carrie sent Aidan in the bathroom incident... How would she carry her? Lol Also, when Miranda called for help she didn't let Carrie tell her that she was on her way to a meeting

I always felt Miranda was done extremely dirty. She was always the one getting punished for things like being ambitious in her career, having a baby, having casual sex....things that the other women had that somehow turned out great for them.

what the... I'm alone in here

I love y’all’s deep, frustrated long suffering sighs throughout this. I see SATC very differently at when I watched at 20 and under, late 20’s/early 30’s and then the last time I watched at closer to 40. It was seen as empowering when it was new but now there are so many things that make me want to take 3 of the 4 and shake them. The obsession with finding “the one” is grating. I remember when it first aired and Miranda was seen as the dry, hostile feminists. Not just portrayed in her attitude and interaction with men and others but the clothing choices and hairstyle. She was deeply insecure about her femininity so it seems to drive her aggressive defense of anything about her that wasn’t “traditional”. By having Steve love her it was more in spite of who she was instead of because of who she was. And by marrying “good” guy Steve, having a child, quitting her high powered lawyer job in the first movie was supposed to be her redemption arc. I’m not say any of that was a good thing but I do hate how she was presented and the road the character was taken on.

Carrie wouldn’t even have any financial problem if Miranda didn’t shame her to tear up Big’s check. She told Carrie that Aidan was fair to give Carrie only 30 days to buy back the apartment, I think it’s such a dirty move, hardly fair at all. Between Big and Aiden, I am definitely team Big. This show is so much more progressive in my opinion, though it’s made twenty years ago. Like Samantha said, money is power, women can use any means to gain power including the sex appeal. They were also more forgiving of extramarital affairs. I don’t think modern marriage gives people the right to monopolize each other’s sex lives, what happened to the sexual liberation that supposedly liberated women?

Maybe it’s me but I’m still intrigued about her parasocial relationship with ‘Jules & Mimi’.

lol this is just a public flogging of steve

I think Miranda is a cautionary tale of what happens when you're a woman who has a high powered financial life, career but low self worth/esteem and therefore lets loser men guilt her into making decisions against her bst interest. I think the writers actually showed a very realistic and relatable character arc. Many women I know have ended up in this trap (including myself) and it's fitting Miranda did as well. Even getting back together with Steve after Brady was born - she wanted to make it work with the father of her child, which is not uncommon. It's a fantasy many women have. Its also hinted at that Miranda doesnt have a necessaeily close relationship with her family of origin so perhaps that was a factor. I think Miranda was unhappy with her life in a lot of ways, which is why her attitude was always so cynical and judgmental (in earlier seasons). While I have qualms with the followup series, Miranda divorcing Steve makes tons of sense.

Miranda choking multiple times is scaring me

Someone finally pointing out that a big firm lawyer this successful does NOT have time to hang out with her friends this much 😅 out for breakfast w the girls on a weekday are you joking

as an early 80' milenial my young hipstery 20' early 30' are exactly those double standards, and Miranda was even better than us , and most of those girlfriends at the end of the day didnt peruse their personal goals, to even admit not peruse it cause it was too hard. i dont think they are happy, they settled for a guy cause of social norms, rent and just disliking been alone and disliking themselves. they tried and have kids on the last minute towards their 40' - not cause they love kids or wanted that at all , but just because- i think this is the disaster of my current financial millennial decade in somewhat more conservative country too but not just here. that our modern fatriarchi - is that we think we reached enough. still the most important thing is a guy-, babies are making a comeback through new age thinking, weird spiritual semi cults too - like bipolarism as a solution for geleci and power dynamics and more new age dogmatic stuff (not the positive ones), or for lesbians even - be in the same square usually and even worst, and feminism is just going backwards especially with sm beuty standards and gen zs has nothing to contribute but very fake progressive waves leaning on their predecessors opinions . i think women are too comfortable with just enough- its *understood but a boomer . *understood cause of 10,000 years of oppression even inherent fatigue. we dont only have to grab our sit at the table- we need the tables at the top of the top and we need to be better human beens, help one another, connect different positive reforms with gender equality , and work much much harder.

Miranda is my favorite 😂😂😂😂I relate to her the most

watching the re-runs of satc when i was a teenager (i turn 29 next month), i didn't like miranda much... i was always obsessed with samantha (who was the reason i was so interested in working in PR and marketing tbh, until i realised i hated it lol). but then again, i've probably turned into miranda, even though i'm not a high-powered lawyer. teen me liked steve, but if i was to ever rewatch it, i'd probably not like steve now lol.

Love this analysis. Also makes me really want to watch the show again!

I think you guys are missing the point of TV writing... yes Miranda could've had a fabulous life like Samantha's if she had more confidence, but we couldn't have another samantha in the group, it wouldn't be realistic (it would also be boring tv). I have yet to meet a Samantha in real life, and it's great to have her as a character, even if she is unrealistic. She's a great person to aspire to be. But most of us are Miranda's, we are great and have the potential to be great but we sadly settle in life. Her reality is so common and if a show depicts that reality, i dont think that's a show being less 'feminist'. Sure some parts of the show are dated but it's 2024 and women are still pressured into marriage and babies and have to deal with domestically incompetent men children. Are we really still thinking that a show could only be feminist if it "successfully" portrays women as having it all? That's a myth to keep women going under patriarchy. Short answer is no, and I dont think the show punishes women like miranda for thinking she can have it all. Patriarchy does that, and the show is just depicting it. I agree about Steve, he's terrible and although it was nice to see Miranda change some parts of herself for the better, it's sad we didn't get the same from Steve potentially (I guess him becoming more ambitious and opening the bar is seen as improvement thanks to Miranda).

Samantha did think Jerry's acting was insane and annoying. And she did go to a play to appease him and be nice. There's no accuracy or nuance in your takes. I set the patriarchy on fire every day and go to bed tired. This is pretty petty attempts at critique.

Honestly, Big is the man who barely works - to answer Chelsea's question

This is really interesting! You said that Miranda had to change her entire personality in a show that preaches the importance and power of a unique character, but then I feel like the line between 'growth' and that sinking of one's entire person is quite blurry. Charlotte, too, would have never imagined herself with someone like Garry, and with him, she has to unlearn things, primarily the idea of Picture Perfect Love. I feel like with Steve, Miranda, too, unlearned some harmful notions, like, for example, girlbossing her way through life, defending herself against one of her fears, real intimacy with men. I always thought that was a thing with her. Now, obviously, if you don't want to have kids, there is nothing to unlearn about that, nothing wrong you need to fix; but was it really Not Wanting kids in her case, or just being scared to even entertain the idea of that, her past experience with men being quite bumpy, and she would be continuously perceived as too harsh, or too masculine, or sometimes even not conventionally attractive. :( (though she is beautiful!)

Samatha got away with everything because of her sexuality... Maranda was the true feminist!

Miranda was not baby trapped. Steve a had one testicle. She had a lazy ovary and had considered freezing her eggs. She had access to an abortion. She considered an abortion. She chose not to have one. Not accurate that she didn't want children. She considered freezing her eggs. Why take away her agency or shit on Steve for having feelings about being straight up poor and the conflict it brings up for both of them. They both co parented succesfully for a year and dated others in their respective economic classes. He did not drag her to Brooklyn. Hard pass on this fake feminist take on Sex in the City. Baby trapped is a real thing.. ..for poor women or women without access to birth control or abortions through high control religions. Bad takes that make a well developed character with privlage and agency a victim? Gen X, lived this era, they were feminist issues, they still are, we were not all absent of cleverness and agency. Also, being a mother is, shocker, about caregiving and taking care of others. Seriously, ladies, WTF.

Such an insightful analysis!

Okay, I am laughing about the fact that you guys are doing deep dives on sex in the City and Gilmore girls like you really know you're millennial audience here

Yall not giving Steve enough credit!!! He did end up owning his own bar, after that finances were not as much of an issue in their relationship. It was rough in the beginning but it seemed that after they broke up Steve matrured. Appreciate you guys but that’s my take lol.

didn‘t she almost become governor?

This makes me feel justified in my initial instinct to not like Steve. He was so annoying

I think my main issue is that we're discussing a programme that is literally filmed in a different era and we're imposing modern views on a very dated tv show. Sure, we can intellectualise it all we want, but we must still remember who wrote it, and when it was written - a lot of the behaviour and beliefs exhibited in SATC wouldn't be tolerated now, so discussing the characters within a 2024 context seems a little pointless. We must take into account the attitudes of the 90s and early 2000s and how different things are now. I'm glad I can 'unplug' and just re-watch it without enforcing my own modern views and just enjoy it for what it is - a fictional tv series set over 20 years ago when things were different.

First time I ever watched it I was most disappointed in her lol , surprised anyone aspired to how her story ended up lol.

AJLT does really flip the script on Steve and not in an emotionally healthy way but in a way that I think Steve maybe had coming.

O brave new world that has such people in it :)

SATC double standards is a subject of its on. reminds me of when Girls came out the discussions about that...the show is made so well and so entertaining too like the also balance of drama and comedy but not that feminist after all-and i think still- also in Girls...but Miranda did have criticism issues...

Women should never date someone who makes less than they do. If you have a baby and you’re the breadwinner, you wouldn’t be able to take off work for a bit- and will end up also doing all the child rearing. I personally would grow resentful of my partner and would honestly wonder why I have him for.

!I recently sold some of my long-term position and currently sitting on about 250k, do you think Nvidia is a good buy right now or I have I missed out on a crucial buy period, any good stock recommendation on great performing stocks will be appreciated.

I cannot understand the resurgence of sex and the city. It was marginal at best when it came out and has aged horribly.

How to say you are anti-natal without saying it… I’m actually embarrassed for you that you have not only intellectualized your maternal ick… now you have made it a virtue instead of a personal choice that should be respected I thought feminist were supposed to be pro choice at least I am Have kids or don’t both choices are legitimate options for women Not everyone can or wants to girlboss… and after she has had that experience she very well may decide that she wants to enter a different phase of life as a mother

I watched SATC during my teen years and thought the characters and their lives were sooooo aspirational. Now, I am a woman who is roughly the same age as the characters in the show. I am married with children and I am a therapist…gotta tell you, no. I love that the characters aren’t perfect and reflect real human flaws, but their relationships and choices were a mess. Fertile ground for therapy and I enjoyed analyzing from my couch. I just feel much differently watching 20 years later.

I actually appreciate the character arc that Miranda becomes more selfless through motherhood. I am a doctor, always thought I wanted travel and career but not kids. After a few years of marriage, I found I did want kids. Now happily married with two kids and three dogs. Still a successful doctor with a rewarding career. It’s not a character flaw that Miranda becomes more well-rounded. I see her arc as her world expanding (albeit with realistic challenges of motherhood with a demanding career)