She is 15, looks 12, and has relationships like a 25 year old art student in grad school. So much to unpack here. She's too young for this kind of behavior and drama....
Exactly. I have a 23 year old best girl friend who has gone through a lot breakups and I think it’s too much and too messy, and this girl is still in school😳
Paula Morris hes dealing with true mental illness she most likely when she gets older will be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. she hits all the markers and categories almost perfectly. it’s really sad.
She's probably going to end up bpd with adjustment disorder... mom tries to treat her like the average teen but she's more sensitive and reactive. It's not the kids fault, but it's not mom's either - most parents don't have psych training
The mom looks like shes trying to hide her identity. She looks like shes someone else underneath those glasses and hair. Like maybe a man or something. She just looks awkward....and the daughter
I can’t help but laugh when 14 year old kids talk about being in a “relationship” lmao the only relationship I had at 14 was my imaginary one with the Backstreet Boys.
i don’t think she’s going to kill anyone like the comments are rushing to say, but she does seem at risk for suicide. people who can’t deal with their emotions properly and especially people who grow up in a neglective household tend to get very attached to anyone who gives them even a little bit of positive attention. i feel so bad. :(
Hope she's doing well. She doesn't need to be dating right now. Love yourself first and then look for the person worthy of your love when you're ready for life.
"if there was a competition between me and another girl, I don't think I'd win." that is so heartbreaking. You are worth so much, you are valued, you are loved!
I’m 21 and I remember classmates “dating” as early as 11/12 years old. It’s really the parents responsibility to create the boundaries for these relationships and withhold them, but unrealistic to to think that forbidding them to do so will do anything but make them sneakier.
this sounds like borderline personality disorder traits , (not a professional and can't diagnose) just as someone with BPD this sounds like some quite extreme symptoms of it. the fear of abandonment. the inability to be alone. the bursts of anger and lies. the scrambling to keep the person there. being so sensitive to the other person. the rules, to test whether the person will leave or not. she is too young to diagnose or know but I feel this may be possible in the future. I wish her the best x
i have diagnosed BPD too and i thought the exact same thing. sad how others think it's her fault for "dating so young" when there could be something else going on
Stop letting these children “date”, they are too young for the emotional roller coaster, they should be just having friends and keeping it simple and innocent.
You literally cannot control your child with these kind of things. If they are old enough to start having these kind of feelings, I'm sure they're old enough to date. Not all people her age act like that with relationships.
Restricting feelings will only lead to unhealthy relationships between parents and children. The best thing to do is teach teens and preteens how to choose good partners and correctly deal with emotions. I met my girlfriend when we were 13 and we maintained a healthy and serious relationship through middle and highschool, and had it transition into our adult lives because our parents taught us well and accepted our feeling for each other.
If you don't let your kid date then they are not going to tell you and they're going to do it in private and that's how you end up with pregnant 13 year olds who sneak out the house. Guess what my mom let me date at that age and I wasn't doing s***. Didn't lose my virginity until 17 and I married the guy so yeah. Every girl I knew who wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend was out there sleeping with everyone at a young age and never listened to their parents
@@myafield4039 Sorry, that's wrong. I know where my kids are 100% of the time, and its usually at home. IF they visit friends, I communicate with their parents, they're never without adult supervision.
Randee's World I hate to tell you this but children are very sneaky, you may think you know everything but stuff goes on at school that parents will never know, I know it might sound hard to believe but trust me, it’s the truth and mya is correct
@@Randeep-u7b that's great that works for you but for many parents it doesn't and they could have a relationship that you don't know about still it's just obvious they won't be able to hide it easily. I know my friends used to work around it by going to their friend's house and then having the dude come over and sneak into their friend's house at night or when the parents were at work. the couple that actually did follow their parents rules went completely crazy once they turned 18. since my mom allowed me to date I was always honest with her. my mom wasn't allowed to date when she was younger and she did a lot of things her parents wouldn't of approved of but never knew about because she felt like she couldn't talk to them about anything
Nope, she has some disorder. That's why she can't handle relationship. I know lots of adults who are like her. Lots of 14 years old teens, don't take relationships seriously and don't make it a big deal about breakups.
michelle thomas people date at 14 and 15 are you a boomer or something? it’s normal all when i was growing up i had my first “”boyfriend”” mind the quotes, at like 12. of course she’s going to take it hard she’s not fully matured but it’s completely normal to experiment and explore relationships and dating as long as they don’t get too deep into it
@@xLCLIPx I'm dating someone and I'm 14 and a few days 15 but with who I'm with were happy, were rarely fight, and if we do we talk about it and see what we can change
Aw poor thing, she just has low self esteem. At least she’s had something lol I’m 22 and still haven’t had a bf. I really hope she can find love and peace in herself so she can get in a healthy relationship in the future.
when she said if she had competition she didn’t think she’d win, i really felt that.. i can say ive felt the same at one point and gone thru so many break ups all because of my own insecurities. how you feel about yourself REALLY matters when it comes to relationships.
This is what you get when you don't teach your children to love themselves!!!!! She should be too involved in her studies and activities that she doesn't have time to even think about a boyfriend!
"She was controlling" "She needed passwords to his phone" "He couldn't have female friends" "Faked a pregnancy & miscarriage" Elena: "I feel horrible that I didn't keep my boyfriends around... I totally believe it was my fault.." Ummm...sounds like it.
Well it just sounds like she’s a young girl, she isn’t mature enough to realize what she does is serious but she’ll learn... I mean like dr Phil said even if she did everything perfect it’s not likely she will grow up to marry him. She’s 15..
@@LE-jm4mz I'm 15, have dated before, and now what boundaries and privacy is. I've been in and out of relationships too but I know that my actions have consequences and I don't try and act like I did wasn't okay. But no, she's 15 and didn't know better. Yeah okay.
I was the same way. Relationships mean a lot to me and the controlling tendencies just came along with it. Hopefully she’ll grow out of it, my first break ups have made me into who I am now at 24. My first bad break up was at 14 too, and he cheated and left me for another girl after around 8 months. I really feel for this girl.
@@nicoleolivia8427 of course kids hide and sneek but parents set the standard. You tell them your stance and then go from there. Not turn around and support the foolishness.
It's interesting you say that because in the uk we don't have that "not allowed to date thing". I think this poor young lady's problems lie elsewhere and it's manifesting in this behaviour
Why would you hinder your child in it's growth? You cannot keep them from being hurt by relationships in the future - that would backfire tremendously. Either by doing it in secrecy (without ANY guidance) or perhaps by isolating, stunting her growth. Humans have the desire to form strong bonds. So does your child. Either way their relationship turns out, you're there to support. Without judgment - because that never helped anybody.
M A idk I don’t see anything particularly wrong with it in certain cases. Some kids are really mature at that age and can handle it and some have parents have that know they date and help them out with that stuff. That’s an age where kids start exploring things. It’s not like they’re dating seriously and doing crazy stuff. It’s like innocent dating. People in my middle school “dated” and had “boyfriends” and “girlfriends” but it wasn’t like actual strong relationships it was cute puppy love or something like hey I like you and you like me let’s hold hands in the hall way and text all the time, rarely someone might get their first kiss then. In high school though freshman year it’s common and normal for people to possibly date at 14 and 15 years old especially if they have a September birthday and end up being 14 for most of the school year. It’s never super serious relationships but people start liking each other and stuff and staring asking people out after a couple months of school starting and some people may home know other people since middle school and finally get the courage to ask them out in high school. It’s not a bad thing to date at 14. You just have to be careful about it. it’s definitely normal and common there’s nothing really wrong with it unless there’s some kind of unsafe behaviors going on. There just has to be open dialogue with parents and kids instead of parents being overbearing and controlling. They should express concern and love just not in a way that make their kid feel trapped and locked up and not able to feel they have choices and need to hide things from them. As long as parent teach their kids healthy dating behaviors and monitor things going on with their kids relationships things are ok. It’s not like 14 year old having full fledged adult type relationships
This is a really good topic and I'm so glad Dr.phil choose to air this story because so many of my friends have this issue and it's never really discussed or taken as a serious problem because everyone downplays it as a teenage phase that they will just get over. And sometimes they do get over it but majority of the time they just repeat the same behavior in different relationships because of low self-esteem and end up damaging themselves AND their partner. I know it's cliche thing to say but to all the young girls out there who are going through a breakup, just know that it's okay. Life will go on and you're still young and full of potential. You will find real love someday but right now just focus on yourself find things that you enjoy and grow as a person. You got this. Stay strong.
A huge pattern here is she’s very controlling. Wants their passwords, tells them they have to text her back instantly, that they can’t speak to another girl at all, and can’t have female friends. That’s not healthy and if she wants a successful relationship, she has to change that.
I mean I aint saying what she did was right, but I feel for her. As a teenager you fall harder than any other love because its the beginning of, "love" for someone.
Stacey Strukel no it’s not. It’s goes beyond parenting. It’s stems from life experiences and certain events. Parents don’t get a handbook. Borderline personality disorder isn’t commonly diagnosed and is normally diagnosed with other mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, substance abuse and eating disorders. No parent is gonna know how to train a kids brain to think and feel a certain way about situations. For a lot of people it takes medication and a lot of CBT or DBT.
honestly, as a 27 year old in my second "serious" relationship - i relate way too much with this girl, to the point that it scares me. when she says she's worried she's gonna "do something wrong" or "he'll lose interest" or "he's gonna like someone else" ...... i'm honestly surprised and scared that i relate so much. i try to think i'm aware of things i might "do wrong" or anything like that (in terms of being clingy, or needing constant reassurance, etc) and i try to constantly work on my self esteem, but the fact that i can relate to someone basically half my age in this subject is quite scary...
Well when you get one eventually, make sure you don’t have the same worries as this girl. And if you end up having them make sure you cut it off for your own mental health
as someone with borderline personality disorder this really sounds like undiagnosed bpd to me. not trying to diagnose this girl but i can really see the signs
I see myself in this girl. I used to be this extreme (maybe SLIGHTLY less). Its taken so much work and trial and error learning. Im 21 and FINALLY getting to a spot where I’m secure and loving myself. This girl has to work on herself a lot and I wish her all the best.
Everyone Blaming this girl well she is depressed , she doesn’t know . She has low self esteem hence easily threatened . She needs more positivity and support not bashing .
This poor baby girl needs love & acceptance sooo badly. LOVE YOUR DAUGHTERS! SHOW THEM & tell them how wonderful they are, & how much you love them. Lead by example. Fathers, especially....SO CRITICAL. Even if you are not with the mother of your child...BE THERE. It affects human beings so deeply when they do not feel loved & supported by both parents. Women WILL exhibit sexual issues in life.
So look like she is such a nice and caring person. She needs a boost of encouragement and I would love to give her some. Girl, you are worth it. Keep telling yourself that.
I feel for her. Break ups are tough and they mess with your self esteem a lot of the time regardless of how level headed you normally all. Add in other mental health issues and I can see how a simple break up can send you over the edge. She needs a lot of therapy
As someone who was in lots of toxic relationships as a teen, she’ll grow out of it. One day it just clicks and you realize you’re miserable and the person you’re with is miserable and there’s literally no reason for it. She needs help with her self esteem because that’s the root of her toxic behavior, she doesn’t seem to be a naturally bad person.
She's looks very beautiful. I wished that she wasn't that nervous on scene. She's brave to come to stage and confront the matters. It's so easy to judge upfront as these posters have done ...
Dr Phil is a genius. As a young girl without a relationship with her father i felt a lot of these feelings and if i saw this episode years ago I would have gone a long way
If I were the daughter I would say no way to going on television with all of this. I can’t imagine when her classmates watched this video and then interact with her.
In a way it is a good thing. I had such breakdowns and many girls do but it’s considered something to be ashamed of and it is wrong. It happens, it can happen to anyone who’s having this kind of issues and some dont realize until it happens. So this could lead to the increase of sympathy towards girls like her
When I was 14 I was trying hard to get my butterfly hair clips in different styles and trying to convince my mom to allow me to stay up on a school night passed 9pm 🤷🏽♀️
@@caitlin3524 same.. I was trying to do the little twisty things on my head and clip em in haha boys still had cooties 😂😂😂 it blows my mind how today is..my 7 year old talks like an adult..the other day he was telling me about DNA splicing😂😂
Elena if you see this know, you are a beautiful young lady who needn't compete with other girls. You are unique and deserves to be loved. Don't set rules, let others prove their worth. Also you seem smart (look to be so too) focus on school and let boys chase you, take it slow... Best to you :)
I honestly empathize with her, because I can relate to a lot of what she's saying, although she has gone to *much* greater lengths than I have. I've matured and gotten better as I got older, but perhaps it's safe to say that unmanaged I have an emotionally abusive streak in me that therapy has helped tremendously with. I just have serious abandonment issues that I sometimes am in some denial about. When she said that if there were a competition with another girl, she believes she'd lose, I realized that is essentially what I think, which is insightful for such a young person. The anxiety of maintaining a guy's attention and loyalty is something I struggle with. With work (and probably whatever kind of healing she needs to do), she won't feel like she has to chain a boy down for them to stay. The girl is still just a girl and shouldn't be worrying over this, but with her extreme behavior perhaps it's best it's acknowledged so early on. She's hardly alone. I hope the best for her.
Why isn’t her mother telling her about what is a functional healthy relationship? It is a parent’s job to help the kid deal with their emotions. You will not always like what situations you go through, but her mom shouldn’t attack her- but say- honey, this is not healthy. You need to understand that you are loved and special and a boy does not determine these things. Mom needs to have a conversation with psychologist or therapist do explain these behaviors and why they’re manipulative and toxic.
this is so so sad, i understand where she is coming from, i went a little nuts after i single handedly ruined my first "love" in high school. i embarrassed myself, acted a fool and had no idea how to deal with my insecurities and raging hormones. it was not easy and very cringe. BUT im glad i lived and learned that at age 16 instead of in my 20's.
Some people are so privileged they make their lives complicated. In my country, life is challenging so every success is celebrated and every winnings are not taken for granted. We become more appreciative and grateful for every good things in life.
when a guy tell me to not to have male friends, needing passwords to my phone, and keep texting you instantly, and want to know where you were. That tells me that your insecure with your self and you don't trust me. when someone controlling and manipulating you it can be VERY dangerous.
I used to be controlling and toxic, but now that I have the perfect girlfriend that supports everything I do while I support her. Equal support and energy is what can make a great relationship IMO. Sure there are boundaries, but don’t take away what she needs (like friends or family).
This is kind of weird. I had boyfriends since I was 11, so did all my friends, we were all fine (except the one friend who got pregnant at 14 lol) I had a boyfriend for 3 years in high school, thought we were going to get married! I don't think this is a teen dating too young, this girl has other problems that manifest through relationships and needs help before she grows into those behaviors for good
The major problems I see is 1: these kids too young to have a relationship let alone handling and dealing with break ups. 2: this particular little girl had a very low self-esteem. A person who has no confidence always very controlling and not fun to be with.
The real problem is that she has some disorder. It can be borderline personality disorder or something. She's not too young to date. She's too mentally "unstable" to date. I've met adults who are like her. She's not a child. She's a teen. Most teens her age, don't take relationships seriously and don't care about breakups that much. Yes, she has low self-esteem. That's why her mother should've helped her.
