I love how my 3 year old problem solved the issue all on her own by creating barricades to prevent her 11 month old sister from distracting her from her work. We allow her to build and move furniture as she pleases. We keep extra large boxes around and it becomes a fun game for our 3 year old. Our house looks a little less inviting by the end of the day, but it is totally worth the peace and seeing them both get creative... creating barricades from the 3 year old, and knocking down the barricades from the 11 month old.
We are dealing with this right now with our two feisty toddler boys. After repeatedly offering them phrases to use during their spats over toys (learned from another of your videos) I’m starting to hear our 4 year old tell our 2 year old “I’m playing with this, you can have a turn when I’m done” without prompting. 👏 I know it will click for our 2 year old eventually too and our 4 year olds progress gives me hope. To other moms dealing with this keep on, keeping on, the rewards are worth the exasperating repetition!
Wow, wow, wow! Thank you so much for this video, so descriptive and helpful. I have a 3 year old and a 15 month old, so these tips will definitely allow me to intervene with more awareness and empathy.
Great video, thank you. I have a son of 4 years and 3 months with language and developmental delay and a daughter of almost 2.5 who is quick with absolutely anything, already making sentences and expressing herself beautifully. She is the little boss snatching happens once in a while. My son gets frustrerend, but he can not express himself. When he wants a toy, he often brings something back in return, which is quite bright of him. Still, there are plenty of moments of snatching. I often make sure we have two of some toys. And when the snatching happens and usually my son is the one whose toy was taken...then I try to explain my daughter that what she did made him upset. I also do the other way around. Usually shorty after, they give the toy back to each other. But there were a few moments when the snatching has been a bit too violent, then I intervene and take that toy away. I do not tolerate the combination of hitting and snatching...But...it puzzle of lessons and mistakes for us as parents every single day...The fact that my son has a developmental delay (due to oxygen deficiency at birth:( makes it extra hard. At the same time I am grateful for having my lovely children in my life...
Better than my plan. I would have said tell chip when bean get close yell "SWIPER NO SWIPPING!" "SWIPER NO SWIPPING!!!" but I did get that from a TV show, its the only info I had and it did seem to work for the girl! Iam glad I came across this video! Lol
Thank you, this is really helpful. Any ideas on how to handle the situation if the younger sibling breaks the older sibling's construction (legos or magnatiles)?
We have been having our older child out his creations on the kitchen counter or dining room table so they are out of reach until he is ready for his younger sibling to play (or demolish) then.
We just got to this phase a few weeks ago since my younger child has started walking/running! It’s tough but I’m thankful for your advice. I need a better spot for my older child to play, but I’m also worried that if I give her a gated area she will take all of the toys into there and never play with her sibling. Is it okay if she never plays with her sibling? Should I have a cap on the amount of toys she takes with her into her area but otherwise let her be in there as much as she chooses?
My 2 year old takes toys from my 8mo , but not to play with them just to throw them as far as he can . 😓 he doesn’t throw toys at any other time , or throw his own toys sigh Love this perspective! Thank you
Literally same scenario happened to me my toddler snatched a toy from a younger toddler. The friend of the mother of that other toddler LITERALLY snatched it back from my toddler. So my husband walk up to the friend snatched it back from the woman & said let’s go return the toy to the girl aka the other toddler. maybe not the greatest but FRIEND should have not got involved
My 4.5 year old just constantly freaks out whenever any little thing happens with his sibling and he completely refuses to think of any solutions himself.. it is sooooo dispiriting. I feel so frustrated with it, it feels like physical violence has been getting a bit worse as my older one has never really hit the younger one, but now every once in a while i can that he has done something to him - he starts crying in that really upset and "betrayed" way and then the older one admits thay he did something. I'm sure part of it healthy, but still an upsetting addition to the mix.
I wonder what your opinion would be on trying hold back and not intervene. I do feel like I intervene too much, but also struggle to see how I could not. I keep thinking of books like Calm Parent Happy Siblings talking about how you are teaching them stategies for healthy conflict resolution, I don't want to let them just "get on with it". The whole situation feels triggering to me, possibly because I feel me and my sister had zero conflict resolution skills as children and I do not have good memories of our interctions as kids, even thoigh we spent a fair amount of time together. We got really close as teenagers, but even leaving that aside I feel like I am myself only now starting to learn and practice healthy conflict resolution skills. What a mess! Would love to give them a better start, sometimes it feels like I'm only messing it up
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This has definitively been helpful because I am facing the exact same problem and honestly my patience is running pretty low between having two kids crying at the same time. Although I wonder for situations where I redirect my youngest from interfering with the oldest by offering another activity/toy, most times my oldest will notice and tends to abandon the activity/toy that she was on and wants the toy/activity the lil bro is being redirected to. This then leads to a big tantrum and meltdown from both of them.
Thank you so much for this 😭 I thought bringing my older kid into his room is kind of 'banishing' him and it made me feel so guilty EVEN IF I see him so happy thru the baby cam in that room. i feel that when my older kid is trying to master a skill and the younger one is disturbing him, it disrupts his concentration etc. What do I do when they start hurting each other? sometimes i get to them when theyve already hurt each other..... And get mad (no judgement please)
