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Yeah I used to have that feeling. I’d see a serial killer on tv and I would be like, yup, that could be me.. what if I snap like that guy. Then I stranger to realise that people with good hearts worry about those thoughts because they’d never harm anybody. A serial killer and evil person gets a rush from thoughts like that.
Does anyone have the fear of not sleeping but you sleep eveynight but still continue to have the the fear that you might not be able to sleep. And you start to think how do i fall asleep how does my brain shut down its so terrifying
Yes and now I have to take medicine to help me sleep. It came from having a breakdown and not being able to sleep for like a week. I still get anxiety about it though.
I have also thought that I'm a fraud, I mean, I have had this thought where I'm faking everything about my OCD, and it feels just awful hahaha but yeeah Kali! let's keep moving! ✨❣️
I think a lot of people have had this in some way. The question “what if I don’t even have ocd?” comes up all the time. It’s a pretty scary feeling because you start to wonder if you’re losing your mind or if you’re just pretending or hiding something.
I relate so much to this. I recently developed OCD this past year (I also have major depressive disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, and somatic symptom disorder.) It started as “general ocd” and developed into harm ocd. I felt like I was going completely insane. I also have these weird thoughts that nothing is real and I dissociate a lot. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and thoughts. You’re helping so many people!
@@liamryan6604 I’m doing better these days, thanks for asking! I’ve gotten the harm OCD under more control. It creeps in every once in awhile, but it’s a lot better than when it first started. Still working on anxiety, depression, and general OCD.
I have a terrify one that I am the only one that exists and I am actually alone in life, that I control everything that's happening like a dream, but without realising it. And I don't know why but I'm really getting stuck thinking about the passage of time, like I think about something I did minutes ago and it immediately pops up in my mind that I'm already living another 'moment' and I get super anxious knowing that I'll forget about this in near future but then I'll realize that I'm already somewhere else, it feels like I am not really living somehow, or that I am not safe anywhere! but thanks for sharing that, I laughed a lot when you shared about the the free will one! that's another that haunts me and it's actually funny hearing it from another person... or maybe you don't exist and it's just me creating everything... I'm kidding, hugs from brazil!!
Same man same, been dealing with this shit for months now. If you wanna chat with someone going through a similar situation I can give you my insta/snap or whatever social media you have
I start talking about this at 15:18. You have to do ERP (exposure response prevention) and you have to learn not to react to the thoughts and the uncertainty. It takes practice and unfortunately there are no shortcuts. There is a lot of info online now about ERP and if you have access to an ocd specialist who can help guide you in the process, you should take advantage of that. However you can do it yourself with books and other guiding resources.
@Lindsey Josephine hey, i really need to talk to someone, as i think i might have ocd, and i just wanna share my story with someone who understands. can we talk?
Omg “agreeing with the uncertainty” this is my fear my mind is telling myself “you will go crazy and do this horrible act”” you want to do it” it’s like there is me and then there is my mind and it’s controlling me not sure if I’m making any sense...... then I also worry “well what makes me different from people who do awful things if I’m having crazy thoughts?” “This is how they started, so I’m just as much of a bad person”
I have thoughts that are just as crazy as yours, except my main theme is religious OCD, but they are just as scary. We just have to choose to move on from these thoughts and not take them seriously
Yeah, unfortunately it seems whatever theme you have at the moment is always the worst one. The main thing is learning not to get caught up in it for sure.
Wow.. you are so brave. It's really comforting to see someone struggling and being so open about it. I have this intrusive thought that always tells me I'm playing a character. That everything I do or say is based on a character on some show I watched and that nothing is genuine. It's terrible to have this on my head every day. But I know these thoughts are not real, as much as they feel like it. I always try to separate myself from my OCD.. that kinda helps.
You are so beautiful and so honest young woman...I wish you happiness and peace of mind. Please hang on there and know that all those thoughts will soon go away with a proper mindset.. Thoughts are just thoughts ITS NOT YOU so never identify yourself with those.. Let your CONSCIOUS MIND discern what thoughts are real and what thoughts are not.. Brain works in a very mysterious ways but brain alone does not have the ability to discern good or bad thoughts.. Its YOU who has the POWER to do it...
You mention that what scares you is that everything is pre-determined and one of my OCD fears is the complete opposite. I’m terrified that I have the free will to do certain things, that I can literally chose to do one bad thing and it’s all over for me. Not that I want to do the bad thing but that I could. It’s as easy as a choice
@@user-ko6th4mn9q I’m much better! Hang in there, it really does get better even if it doesn’t seem like it at all. Try to ignore it & “laugh” at it and go about your day pretending like you’re completely fine & then you will be.
My frequent thought I have is "what if I'm in a coma right now and one day I'll wake up in the hospital and realize that everything I'm doing right now, was a dream." I even started (loosely) writing a book about it.
I am going on a trip outside the country in a few hours AND I AM SCARED SHITLESS AF! Everything is new to me: going through the airport, the plane ride, a different country, away from my hometown, etc. And I am already in my late 20's. 😅 I remembered I've seen this particular video before where you're talking about an upcoming trip so I came back to this. It really helps I am not the only one who feels like this. Shaking from anxiety as I type this. Lol. Thank you and I hope you're doing well these days.
I was in my 20s for my first flight ever, and it was to China so it was a biggie! You’ll do great. It’s scary when you don’t know what to expect but you’ll figure it out once you’re in the mix. It’ll be a breeze!
@@kaliwallaceart Got caught up with so many things after my first trip. I just want you to know that I truly enjoyed it despite the worrying (especially when the plane took off! I just decided to sleep away the anxiety.) The plane ride back home was a lot better for me mentally probably because of the vacation high. For my next trip, I may probably enjoy it a bit more because I now have an idea about the entire flying experience. ANNND I really appreciate your reply to my comment! I'm always looking forward to your videos! Hope you're well and happy. 🥰
Wow just wow you’re honestly the first person who i can sit and actually watch! Thank you very much for your bravery this ocd road can feel lonely but im optimistic in my road to recovery . Continue being you you’re awesome.
the people that reported not having intrusive thoughts are people with ocd that are scared that their intrusive thoughts are bad so they say they don’t have them
I’m having intrusive imagery of one person and that’s it and it is sick and disgusting and makes we want to give up on life. It started out of nowhere and now I’ve been trying to figure out why it happened and it makes it worse and it’s so disgusting I just wanna crawl in a hole, if my girlfriend found out she’d leave me and never see me the same and I would be just skrewed god I just wanna go back to my old self maybe this is Karma or something. I feel so helpless. It goes over and over in my mind and I’m starting to twitch when it happens because I can’t handle it it’s like why do I keep fixating on this disturbing thought if it doesn’t mean anything. I just want my life back
There’s this song by the talking heads i like called psycho killer, i haven’t listened to it in a while because i would see visions of myself killing someone while listening to the song or like going to jail for killing my friends. So I stopped listening to it for good which is probably bad.
I just started watching your video and I just want to say a theory that I have: regarding the intrusive thoughts percentage, I believe that those 2% that said they don't have intrusive thoughts probably have OCD but it's not diagnosed. I say this because, before being diagnosed with Pure O I would deny that I had these thoughts. I used to believe that the moment I spoke with someone or admitted that I think about stuff like "what if I kill my family?" (etc) I was turning this into a reality, so I hid it my entire life until last week and I only spoke about it because I saw a video of a girl speaking about Pure O and I realized that apparently I was suffering from OCD and I was not a monster. I didn't want to acknowledge that I experienced these thoughts. I believe this was a bit confusing but I guess you get my point 😅
Interesting theory! Not that nearly everyone has intrusive thoughts, that EVERYONE does and the ones who say they don’t aren’t being truthful or, for fair consideration, don’t know what intrusive thoughts classify as... truthfully I’d never heard of “intrusive thoughts” before they became a problem for me and my ocd, but after learning about them and looking back I knew I always had them to varying degrees. Hmm. Truthfully though I don’t see how anyone could not have had intrusive thoughts at some point. What goes on in their brains?? Just crickets? Lol
I will be talking to my kids about God or Jesus (I'm Christian) and then i get a fear of what if I am telling them this and then end up harming them and they don't expect it and I am all over headlines Christian women harms her children. So then it makes me want to stop talking about him😔 or a fear of husband is away and he comes home to .. you know. Ugh I hate those thoughts. But I know who I am love my children, love God, and I am a good person 💕
I feel for you, you’re not alone🤗 i am not religious but I can identify with fearing doing something that goes against my moral code and then having to live with that and having the irony of it all pointed out in headlines or on the news or something. It’s awful. I think a lot of that is motivated by the fact that so much of the news we see IS sensationalized and generally the bad stories gain the most traction.
Daniella Gutierrez the fact that you see the headlines of you in the news makes me feel so less alone cause I thought only my brain would torture me like this, I’m a Christian too xx this is so ocd it’s not you
@@savedbygrace3074 aww. Yes you are not alone. I've come so far with my OCD I've been able to let them go and not obsess. I'm in such a good head space lately thank God. I still get the thoughts feel fear and then say "oh well if I do I do, and I will pay the consequences" and move on with my day and they don't come as much just little glimpses here and there. I've learned to accept the thoughts (even though I hate them) and roll on with my day and that has helped me so much. You'll get there and will pass. Takes time but a day at a time 💕
@@TheDdgtz im a mom im struggling with obsessing over having OCD. Which mine are harmful ocd intrusive thoughts. How do you accept them. I need someone to relate as a mom
@@jillann9471 I'm sorry you're going through that. I know the pain trust me. My husband was deployed and I would get terrible thought of hurting my kids even though I knew I never would and didn't want to. It tore me up and was the worse time of my life. I took medicine for a year and that helped a lot. I got off them and just did a lot of research on harm OCD. I changed my perspective on it. I followed UKocdrecovery on IG along with Ali Greymond. They helped me a lot by reading and listening to their advise. I just started picturing myself sitting on a rock and watching all these terrible thoughts fly by on clouds. I would imagine my self just observing them and not giving them attention. And I would focus on my present moment and move on with my day. It takes practice. Also, learning to accept the thoughts is the hardest part but that is a huge tool in your recovery. You're not agreeing with the thought because your logical self know that you would never do it but you are saying okay I don't like this thought but I accept it. If it happens it happens and I go to hell or pay the consequences and I'll get what I deserve. If it doesn't happen then great. I get to be here and enjoy my beautiful babies who I love so much. I'll just what happens and move in with your day 🤷♀️ slowly you not being so scared of thoughts they end up going away and you get to enjoy your sweet babies. Takes a lot of time and hard work but it's worth it. 💕
I have PTSD with intrusive thoughts. My worst one is that I have thoughts of monsters following me around and hiding in the dark, usually a specific one in particular. Down the stairs, in tue closent, umder the bed, in a dark corner, in the dark, behind me, in the shower (those are some common ones). I have a fear of the dark, and I think its my brain playing off of that. 😑
I've never been able to enjoy holidays because when I'm away I have this constant fear that a family member or a pet has died and my family just don't want to tell me :/
Hi Kali! Is it normal to have intrusive thoughts of wanting to do/wanting something bad to happen? My intrusive thoughts didn't start like this it only recently started to be like this. I tend to overthink about the thought and I get really scared that it isn't an intrusive thought. I try to look it up but I can't find a clear answer. I worry that I'm some terrible person who wants to do these things or want these things to happen. I have never had a thought like this until now and it's not something I would actually think. It also came out of nowhere
Regan dean. There is a video on utube about the condition called PURE 0. Its about intrusive thoughts and struggling with violent thoughts. Its related to ocd.
I have a reoccurring intrusive thought where whenever my boyfriend and I are going to visit my family (3 hours away) that he'll suddenly become paralyzed or die while driving and I wouldn't know what to do because I don't drive or have a license myself. I also don't drive due to the fact that I think I'm going to get in an accident.
I have a lot of various intrusive thoughts, but one that I have sometimes is I constantly think I'm lying. Like, if I'm telling a story or something, I believe that I'm lying for attention or that I will start lying. In a way, I'll tell myself I must be overdramatic and a liar. I'm not though. Another one I have is regarding superstition. I'm not a superstitious person but I always stay away from "unlucky" things just in case. I would also fear that if I thought of on outcome or if I hoped for something, it would/wouldn't happen. As if I had the power to control the future. I used to have these thoughts more when I was a kid.