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De-centering men, and everyone in general, has improved my confidence and self esteem dramatically. And my social anxiety level has dropped. I used to put everyone on a pedestal. I used to get sad when I wasn’t chosen by men. Then I realized that people are not all that, including men. They’re as imperfect as you and just pretending they’re perfect and better than you. Thank you for these videos. They’ve really helped with my de-centering journey.
They try to convince you that a woman is meant to be a help meet, even if they don’t follow the religion that that came from. They claim to believe that part because it benefits them.
"Weaponized incompetence" a k a men pretending to not know how to be fathers to their own kids when their baby mama's break up with them but then turning around and being a step dad to another woman's kids
Yes men use women’s presence to social climb. One of my male coworkers years ago, kept asking me to go out to bars with him. I was confused because I was 22..single, no kids, no pets, and free. He was 40, twice divorced and had 5 kids from 3 different women. I was so confused on why he thought I’d want to hang out outside of work. He told me it’s because it would make him look better and would make other women want him if he showed up with me. He also said he knew I’d get free drinks and to give him one 😂
thats a good point, women are the primary care giver but the man is the one who gets to brag about how successful his kids are when it was the mother that helped them get into schools, dressed them, motivated them etc
I hope more women continue to find these videos because your series is great. I'm a 22yo v¡rg¡n by choice because I noticed off behaviours in the guys that have pursued me, aside from things my family has taught me. It's better to be single and have peace of mind, I can focus on my education and financial stability to building my future. If a good man that adds to my life shows up, great, but if not, I'm fine with staying single and childfree.
My ex had a business, He had a beautiful home. Once he married me, he decided to be "sick" and stay at home, watching cable tv, not lifting a finger at all, and putting the burden of all the support on me, plus all the shopping and cooking and cleaning. Of course, I divorced him, but took the loss of my townhouse first, plus the abuse of his control and threats.
This is very true. Last year I completely cut off my first “boyfriend “, he met me when I was 25 and he is 17 years older than me. During the pandemic he wanted me to go out everyday with him, he wanted me to move closer to him. He at some point made get isolated from my family and friends. He joined a MLM and wanted me to join with him. He always wanted me to join in his business plans and at the end of the “relationship” he would always say that I had so much potential… but he never specified for what. He couldn’t use me for sex so he tried to use me to support for his business ooh but as soon as I noticed he was bread crumbing me and he was also looking for other women, i exposed him and by doing that he lost his job people that were following him and he had to go back to his parents house at 45 years old. He was definitely a total narcissist.
I got a lot of smoke from my mom for rejecting a guy who asked about me to her because I said he wasn’t attractive. I don’t wanna endure terrible sex for the next 80 years of my life. I’m sorry but that’s just the truth, I of course wanna have a guy make around 70k a year and up but if he isn’t attractive on a primal level I’m not gonna give him the time of day and I don’t wanna be shamed for that
Whew! This was an excellent video. When I was 17 I submitted my grandmother’s husband’s job application to Boeing. He got hired & works there to this day. The woman in my family told me to do his job application for him since he mainly worked at like gas stations & car washes. Obviously I lied out the wahzoo & got creative in response to certain questions. I was raised to be overly male focused but I wisened up thankfully. Have a beautiful day EU!
I listen to a therapist podcast that takes calls from people for advice. One woman called that her husband kept refusing to eat healthy and his health is declining but he doesn’t care. The husband accused her of nagging him just by her trying to help him get healthier. She eventually left him. Now she’s dating a man who has terrible breath and she’s scared to tell him because of how her ex husband treated her. I have a friend that is very into eating healthy and exercise but her husband hates eating fruits and veggies etc. I met her when she was a customer at my health food restaurant. She made him come in with her once and was miserable to be there. They rarely sleep together because he snores and doesn’t want to do anything about it and he’s on a blood pressure med that ruins his libido.I always cringe inside when she goes on and on about how great her husband is.
I’m 24 and working on getting my degree in medical coding. If I get certified in outpatient coding I can make upwards of $60k per year which for me sounds great
I had a man demo a rainbow vacuum and he lived with his sister who didn't want him there, and in public bummed cigarettes from strangers in restaurants, and once he came to my townhouse to demo the vacuum, all of a sudden he was "in love with me". I understood right away he wanted to move in and to have me be his sugar momma. I never spoke to him again, of course.
Whewwww Hunny I have definitely done the Resum's. filled out job applications, Let a guy use my car to go look for a job. Girl...U are literally preaching. I have done all this goofy stuff. Yearrrssss ago in my 20's. I got to a point that I decided I was going to use ALL my energy to uplift me and not pour into a Man. I got to thinking, what could I become, do, and think if all the energy I used to be a mans help mate was used to motivate and help myself. When I started thinking like that, the doors began to open for me. Many of these men do not come to provide and protect, they are coming seeking assistance, and leverage off of you in some shape or form. This levergae can be emotional, financial, sexual, business, housing, caregiving, baby sitting, room mating, and the list goes on...
I love this video One of my fav channels on RU-vid is “Manifestelle “ when I started watching her videos she used to always say “ “as a woman, we have inherent value “ In the beginning it was sounding weird to me but along the lines it finally clicked Men use women to level up especially if she has social status A man gets promoted and taken more seriously when he gets married Men and women would see the value in a man if he has a beautiful woman on his arm. This has really helped me decenter men and only allow men I think can improve my life around me. Men need women. Women want men
Im not even mixed or light skin, I mean unless you consider being Mexican of which I am considered “mestiza” indigenous mixed with European, but I LOVE that you’re speaking on this and I listen to your channel often because of these super important messages you put out ❤
Yeah I'm white lol but I watch a lot of her videos. The decentering men ones really apply to all women. And the pretty privilege ones too, except for the specific parts about being mixed race. She's so real and honest about men it is so refreshing 😊
Damn, your commentary reminds me the childhood book, Lord of the Flies, with the stranded boys on an island. Basically, they fight for survival. It also reminds me of the movie 28 DAYS later. Men in spaces without women turning violent and depressed.
23 yo, just broke up with boyfriend who was DEFINITELY riding my coattails as well as competing with me. He was such an attention seeker too. I’m excited to be free and single ❤️ now I can watch all these decentering men videos from a different perspective
@@bymmim It's so frustrating because I realize that they don't see relationship as a way of connecting, it's always about resource gathering & guarding. And we must realize that we hold a lot of social capital as women. even when we're not doing the most, our ideas, our perspective, our comprehension is valuable.
This video was soooooo good!!!! Your whole channel has changed me Completely!!! I’m a Brown skin exotical and not only have you helped me Decenter Men but also my jealous hateful family members! It just feels good not to be alone 😢 Thank You 🙏🏾
your content is effortlessly expanding my vocabulary, I learn at least 3 new words per video even though English is my first language. your knowledge is so valuable
One on your best videos. Women shouldn’t feel guilty for being aware of these strategies and/or calculating the cost benefit of a relationship. Men are the original gold diggers… and I mean literally digging up gold in other continents and fighting countless of wars for let’s be honest, resources lol Don’t let them gaslight you and make you feel guilty for being knowledgeable and aware.
I’m trying not to have regret, but whewwww I needed this video 15 years ago. My ex husband only wanted me because I made him look good and I kept trying to make him something but he was ultimately a good looking bum.
My mom wants to see me be in a good relationship with a guy that will treat me right but honestly I would rather have encounters on my terms with the guys I want rather to be in some long term relationship with a mediocre guy. My mom thinks it’s ridiculous I’m only attracted to and like tall men and says “I’m too picky” 🙄
The end of your video the more I think of it like this; the more unpaid favors and labor he asks you to do, the less hours, time, energy and resources for your leveled up lifestyle to make the right choices for your glow up and maintenance. This means he wants you to neglect yourself!! Beware!! The only men Worth having around know the intensity and beauty of a happy healthy woman's regimen and interests and seeks to maintain her happy safe and comfortable, not have her neglect herself
