motherhood is both traumatic and healing | tarot, baking & crying 

keelin the part of the video when you talked about your relationship with your mother made me cry. i have such a similar relationship with mine, thank you for talking about this. it can be so hard to be vulnerable in that way especially when it comes to your parents. your ability to reflect on what happened in your childhood is so telling about the great mother you already are and i hope to be able to do the same in the future

Keelin this is one of my favourite videos of yours. It’s made me think, real hard. Child to parent relationships are so difficult. And as we grow we see and understand the complexity of all of their actions. How it’s made us feel about ourselves and what opinions we have formed but also the understanding that they’re human with their own issues because of treatment and opinions of themselves… just making mistakes. I’m scared to have a child whenever that might be, I know (through stories) how my mum got treated and I know how I get treated, and I’m scared the traits do get passed down from getting the treatment to giving the treatment. It most definitely is all about healing- to breaking cycles and disallowing yourself to give out the actions you’ve disliked most receiving. I have many insecurities about my treatment towards people (friends, family members, my boyfriend) but know it’s all because of how I see love. I remember going to high school and feeling so weirded out by my female friendships because they wanted to hug me, hold my hand, link arms etc. And due to my lack of contact and affection with my mother, this made me so uncomfortable. There’s definitely boundaries and walls I’ve always had up and because of this I can be cold (this translates most in my relationship with my boyfriend). I only ever want to be a kind and loving person to him but struggle to show my affection. Since hitting my 20s I’ve definitely starting thinking more into how I can heal and slowly practise ways of pushing through these limitations etc. I reckon I need to practise kind words of affirmation to myself more and tell myself that I am an affectionate person, I do enjoy showing my kindness and love towards others, that I am open to being loving and receiving others’ love. I’m sorry to hear the extent of your treatment (and your sisters’), you all have the power to heal and grow and transform your relationships with others, including yourself. Thank you for this raw and beautifully vulnerable video, you’re incredible and I just know this powerfully strong female energy will get inherited by your daughter. She’s going to be so smart and intelligent with the most adorable Irish accent. I’m really excited for your new adventures Keelin, both yours and Jason’s. Everyday I’m thinking about you and a safe and easy birth, and I’m very excited for you to rest your eyes on her face for the very first time, have tears in your eyes and soak up new a core memory. I would also like to add to say that I hope your sisters are now okay and safe. Rest well mumma, was super happy to see you laying in bed and reading and relaxing in this as maternal as I know you are cooking and cleaning, when I see those moments of relaxation it makes me smile. Go easy on yourself Keelin, we can always wait for uploads, we’re not going anywhere. And I’m happy to see Jason doing some banging food shop runs for you. Take care xxxx

this was so comforting to see not everyone has amazing relationships with their parents and show that its OK to be upset and angry with them for things they did and still have love for them! ur gonna be such a compassionate mom I can already see it!

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable talking about your relationship with your mam, I couldn't relate more. The walking on eggshells, invalidating feelings, etc. it made me tear up because I'm also pregnant and couldn't imagine treating my little baby like that. I'd often be made out to be lying about things that happened in my childhood anytime I brought them up, and so now I'm hesitant to talk about it all with her or a therapist or even to my partner. I think that our generation are the ones that will have to break that trauma cycle so that it doesn't pass down to our own children, and it looks like you're already working on that, so well done you 💓

Keelin thank you so much for speaking so openly about your relationship with your mother!

This video felt a bit more personal than usual and thank you for sharing that. So many people struggle with the relationship they have with their parents (including myself) and the way you spoke about your own situation made me feel understood and not alone. We’re all in this together, you’re so strong Keelin, lots of love xxx

Beautiful as always Keelin. I’m so excited for you two (soon to be three!) Wishing you health, happiness and strength in this terrifyingly exciting time 💜

You can doooo this, 14 hour labour no epidural over here! You are so prepared and your body was made for this, you've also got age on your side too 🥰 all the candles lit for you and sending you all the positive birthing vibes xxx

Keelin, you keep reminding me that the “mundane” moments often become our most cherished ones. Thank you💖

Thank you sm for being vulnerable. Felt so much resonance with you. Healing is tough but soo powerful. Best wishes with your birth and motherhood to come. 💕

I really appreciate how honest you were about your relationship with your mum. the way I was treated as a child motivates me to be a good friend, mother and wife because I know I can turn my pain into happiness. as hard as it is, sometimes we have to accept that our parents are just humans with mental health issues and emotional baggage, as soon as we place so much significance on their role as a 'parent' we can feel disappointed when they don't meet these expectations. I see my mum now with more sympathy rather than anger and that has helped me let go of anger towards her. you are going to be an amazing parent keelin.

Thank you so much for being so honest and vulnerable, helps me so much keelin! my boyf says you are a massssive part of me healing/being happier so the least i can do is comment and tell u how much i luv and appreciate you!! xoxo

Thank you for being so vulnerable you are so strong and amazing. The child-parent relationship stuff is so relevant to my life right now, getting into a new relationship after an abusive one and have a lot of issues from the way my parents treated me. I hope you know how much you help people by being open. I feel very seen and not alone in how I feel. I have loved watching you for years and how you have grown - you're going to be an amazing mother keelin

Keelin, I just wanted to say that your honesty and introspection is something I really admire and look up to. Your vulnerability is so powerful and I really value that you share such intimate details as it helps me to realise that it’s ok to be emotional and have these reactions to certain things. I haven’t really had an older female figure in my life to look up and inspire me as I’m not super close with my mum and I just wanted to say that you provide me with a lot of comfort and wisdom and I’m so grateful to you for just existing here as who you are. Sending you so much love and health and happiness and wishing for a safe delivery of your daughter, I know she’ll be so proud to have you as her mother

it means so much that u feel comfortable to talk to all of us about ur past experiences nd being so vulnerable in showing the healing process. im so sorry u nd ur sisters had to experience what u did. but ur going to be such an attentive nd caring mother nd be so much more sensitive to ur daughter nd her feelings nd how ur relationship builds. i can only imagine how hard it is but its so amazing to watch u face it, work through it nd begin healing. ur a wonderful human keelin nd u bring so much joy to so many ppl

Keelin this was so lovely and poignant. It's the most heartbreaking thing in the world to confront the ways our parents abandoned us, especially when they won't really accept it and we get sucked into old patterns of being argumentative which only perpetuates the shame cycle. But you seem to have so much insight and also the ability to stay vulnerable & honest with yourself, which I think can be really hard when we carry pain/shame. Thank you for sharing something so personal, it was very touching.

your videos bring me pure joy 🌻 these will be such incredible memories for her to look back on, to get to know you as not only mum but as keelin 🤍

God I feel so seen and heard watching this video and reading the comments💕 everyone else in my life has such a great relationship with their mothers. Mine has been traumatic and still to this day is forced. I’ve never had anyone relate or understand until hearing you speak, thank you Keelin x

Hearing you reflect on your relationship with you mum was so heartbreaking. It also showed just how great and loving of a mother you will be, soon you will be able to give your daughter the love and devotion you deserved growing up and that is really beautiful, I hope it is a healing experience for you too. Although I am not able to relate to your relationship with your parents, I am one of three girls and I love my sisters more than anything. Hearing they have been made to leave the home made me so sad. I am sending so much love to you and your lovely family. I wish I could lend a loving hand to you all but I am on the other side of the world lol. You are so mature and clever and I just can't wait to see you be a great mother. My parents were 17 when they had my older sister and 22 with me and having young parents is/was the best! Your daughter is very lucky xx

Thank you so much for opening up about your relationship with your mam and being so raw and honest. I related so much to what you were saying and it feels so healing knowing I’m not the only one and others feel the same way too. And also side note- I love that this comment section is really turning into a safe space🫶🏻❤️

Could you do a video on the embarrassing, funny but normal symptoms of pregnancy that most people don’t talk about?

I just found your channel and I’m so in love with it. I love everything you had to say in this. This was the first video of yours I watched and since then I’ve binged a bunch. ❤️ thank you for being so real.

im the oldest of 4 girlsand have never had a good relationship with my mum. was tearing up with you as i have been heavily reflecting on parent-child relationships having since moved away from them. you make me feel less alone. thank you always x

I'm about to turn 21, and this year is the first time ive actually been able to go to my mum and cry when i needed help from her since i was around 10/11, due to having a fractured relationship. I find it so easy to hate on myself or feel like im wallowing in self pity when I take time to reflect on my traumatic past. Although, seeing you be so vulnerable and real but also showing you living your normal life and appreciating the good around you, while still giving yourself the space to heal is so nice to watch. It makes me feel so comforted in my situation

Sending you lots of love at this time in your life. I completely understand where you’re coming from. My sister and I have a similar relationship with our dad that you have with your mam. It’s so hard to not feel guilty for thinking negatively about our parents. But you shouldn’t have experienced that as a child. I’m sorry to hear about your sisters too. It’s awful at any stage in life to be thrown out of your own home. I just wanted to say that you have become such a beautiful loving person and you’re actively breaking the cycle which is really difficult. I have so much love and respect for you 💛

Keeeeelin wow! The part of you speaking about your relationship w your mam is real. Just from watching ur videos and not even knowing u personally you seem like such a loving soul. Any child will be so happy to have you as their parent! Stuff that happens us in childhood sticks with us forever. I’m so glad you have your siblings! Irish mothers are their own genre, mine included!

Your daughter will heal you and you will be an amazing mother. The fact you are processing so much, even when it's difficult just proves it. Sending you so much love for your future

Your videos are beautiful to watch. I think it’s caus there is so much beauty in all the small bits in life that fill our days. And that’s going to be even filled with more love and moments when your new little person enters that world ❤️

This made me feel so safe and cosy. I'm so excited for your baby to come along - your vlogs in Dublin are so lovely and make me be kinder to myself too xx

oh keelin so emotional even you just changing the flowers had me in rivers of tears , the new life on the way ah wow

i'm sorry about your relationship with your mum, and how you never feel you will get what you need from her. you're not alone and hearing you speak so openly and honestly was so refreshing. sadly, i can guarantee so many people feel this way and hearing you speak like that will prompt them to look at their own parental/role model relationships, and thus begin the path to healing xxx sending so much love to you and your baby

Even though I don't know you Keelin, I am sure you are going to be a wonderful mother. Just hearing you talk about your relationship with your parents and your sisters and just life in general shows how loving and self-aware you are. Your daughter is so lucky

keelin i actually wish the best for u and ur daughter i know u wil do great

I remember my friend and I were talking about our childhood experiences and how scary it is to be the one who wants to break the cycle and one thing they said to me was “well at least we know exactly how not to treat our children if we are blessed to have them” and this is so true. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be fully healed by the time your daughter arrives. Everyday you will grow and heal with her. You’re already doing the right thing. Big love, you will be the best mam

keelin all your videos are beautiful but this one hit home & was really special. thank you for being vulnerable & speaking about healing, learning, growing. you've a beautiful soul x

This is beautiful. I think a lot of people will share sentiment in regards to the relationships with parents - I think Irish culture especially fosters a culture inherited trauma and a lack of willingness to open conversations and attempt to break / disrupt that cycle of inheritance. Much like your experience, the best thing I did for my relationship with my parents was to move to the other side of the world. You speak from such an eloquent and emotive place and I think yours is a voice that deserves to be heard. Thank you for bringing your little one into a place filled with such love and light and thought.

i love u & ur videos. thanks for always reminding me of the joy in everyday life & love

your videos really have me feeling all the emotions they're so beautiful and moving, sending lots of love

thank you for sharing so vulnerably about your relationship with your parents. this might sound a little weird, but it's so refreshing to hear you speak about this. my family migrated to australia from dublin when I was two and the commentary I've gotten from my parents and extended family back home about what I've needed to do as I heal from a really painful and deeply traumatic childhood has always been judgemental and nasty. I often feel really isolated in this experience as none of my friends will understand what I mean when I try and explain how so much of my healing just doesn't align with traditional irish family culture. it's really reassuring to know there are other young irish people trying to navigate the inner turmoil of loving a parent in the context of their childhood and ignorance, and holding them accountable so you are able to honour your own experience of their shortcomings as a parent. culturally, it's expected that we laugh about trauma, sweep things under the rug and get on with the craic. it's so tiring, even on the other side of the world.

So happy for you two 🥺 I'm currently 14 weeks and it's been lovely watching your progression. Thank you so much for sharing small pieces of your experiences ❤

i’m late to this video but i just wanted to say i appreciate what you create. I also had a difficult relationship with my mum up until Covid and i often feel that provided cause for my anti social personality and my tendency to push people away. Thank you for always shedding light on topics and continuing to be so genuine🫶

acknowledging the imperfections of your own relationship with your mother is brave and will only serve you to have a better one with your own daughter

Keelin you genuinly are my favourite person on the internet and u make me feel so incredibly warm inside. I have never felt anyone word so carefully yet perfectly correct how i feel about my mother and i genuinly have never felt more heard or understood in my life. I love you and your daughter already and i know its weird to say that about someone on the internet but you really really really make my day better with your videos and your beautiful words. I hope Ellie and Saoirse are okay and they have a place to live and i hope you can enjoy your last pregnant moments. You are amazing keelin

We’re all out here trying to break generational trauma wow! So excited to see you grow and grow in confidence even more!

Keelin, you are so beautiful in every way. We would be lost without you.

your vulnerability and self-examination is so incredible, you're such an inspiring woman to many of us. Ur literally such an amazing mum already and starting off in such a different way to your own mum like ur just gonna be so fantastic

thank you for sharing Keelin. We appreciate you.lots of love. x

Aw, Keelin! I'm sure you're already well aware, but you are such a strong person. Your daughter will be so pleased to have such a loving, self-aware, and brilliant mum..

your videos are literally art i cried at the part where you were sewing after talking about parent stuff. every parent has their issues that they can pass on but you love this child so much i can already tell and that is the most important thing.

Thank you Keelin for always being so raw and real, you're so courageous to speak of this. Thank you for always providing beautiful videos that relate so much to many of us. I'm so excited for you and Jason to welcome in beautiful baba, you're going to be the best wee mammy. xx

Wishing you all the luck with your Leo girl 🦁❤️ these vlogs have been so beautiful to watch! Oooo I do tarot too!!! I always use my intuition when reading cards! I wish I baked more, I currently have covid and I’m craving something sweet 😭 I’m the same, my mother has always invalidated me and shut down my expression of feelings or just saying how I feel about toxic behaviour towards me from my parents

your videos make me so calm

This was pure beauty Keelin, thank you ❤

JUST LOVELY. you are wonderful. you are light.

I love your videos. They make my day.

Thank you for being so open💜

i’m so grateful for these videos

This was so beautiful 💜

that soup looks yum

loved! you will be such a lovely mum🧡

I had a really hard day and honestly feel a little helpless in my life right now and this video literally pulled me out of it. I’ve never known any para social relationship like this Lmao Thanku Keelin ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Thank you for showing your vulnerability to us 🥺

keelin do you have any suggestions for how to begin with tarot cards? i love this video, your channel brings me so much joy and contentment. x

The music in this video😍

Your matching kettle and toaster set is absolutely beautiful 🥰

Keelin, I love your videos

Loved this ❤❤

“If the moon is moving the sea, it has to be moving me” 🕯

dreamies and whiskas are the way to a kitties heart🫶🏼

it's a beautiful life ❤

Well done for speaking so openly about the past. Both my parents are in heaven now. Try to repair what u can in living years. Blessings xx

Keelin my therapist said to me ‘if you ever become a mother you’ll know exactly what to do because you’ve already raised yourself’. And you should hear that too Xx

Your body is strong. Let it heal. Your mind is resilient. Let it grow from this trial. You don't reach dawn without crossing the night. May these words be stars to guide your way through it. Trees connected by their roots send help to each other. Just like so, please receive my love, my care, my strength, and my peace. Bless thee

I have the exact relationship with my mum and my sisters. As the oldest I always felt I had to protect them even though it meant I continued to be mistreated because I was trapped in this cycle of abuse.

oh keelin ♥

so very real beautiful

Missy moo dying to get in on a bit of sewing 😂

Thank you for sharing about your relationship with your mum. Mine is similar in that I went to live with my Dad and from age 16-19 and I didn't really speak to her at all. I didn't realise how much it probably affected me until I heard how it had affected you. It felt like she didn't like me as a person too. I was an accidental pregnancy that my dad pressured my mum into having.I think part of the conflict was my undiagnosed ADHD and also the trauma my Dad caused me as a child....But why would she send me to live with the person who caused so much trauma? I couldn't handle my emotions or properly process or understand why I was struggling with my mental health and it manifested in me acting out and neither of my parents knew how to handle it. The older I get the more resentment I seem to have towards her. I didn't expect to feel this way at all. She has said herself she admits she was a shit mother at times but that doesn't make me feel much better. I think everyone has a complicated reltationship with their parents in one way or another and it can be really hard to navigate. I do think a lot of people in our generation are breaking the cycle though and hopefully we will have healthier relationships with our children than we did with our parents. I think it starts with actually trying to be self aware and truly wanting the child and looking into how you can realistically be the best version of yourself for that child. That doesn't mean being perfect or not making mistakes though. I'm rambling and making no sense by this point but if you see this I really appreciate your words and thoughts and you have really helped me to get through a very stressful period in my life lately with beter coping mechanisms, no breakdowns and a positive yet realistic outlook

had my baby 3 weeks ago on the full moon in Capricorn ( I'm a Capricorn) I just thought it was mad and defo not a coincidence

where did you get your tarot cards from? those exact ones. thankyou

Where did you get the little rug on your bed it’s gorgeous xx

Happy days!

i thought bambi was gonna be a virgo anywayy leo is really cool

okay thumbnail editing queen??

Stop making me cry

ur gunna be the best mom evr lov from me xx

Very heartwarming Keelin. I would recommend you "Saltwater" by Jessica Andrews, I think you would really like it!

I adore you

you are so lovely.

Missed ya xx

LEO GANG

I feel like all I see keelin do is change her sheets

Wait are the chicken koka noodles vegetarian 🥳

what a hot mama

It's so sad watching people who are so gullible

wtf did i watchXDDDD