MtF, FtM & Nonbinary | Stuck in a Negative Cycle of Dysphoria? Here is How to Break It!

Подписаться 37 тыс.

Просмотров 4,8 тыс.

50% 1

You can easily get lost in the negative cycle of dysphoria. Here are helpful tips on how to deal with dysphoria.
⚡Please SUBSCRIBE!
❤️ Check out my site offerings.
👉ONLINE COURSES FROM DR Z: drzconsultingllc.podia.com/
👉BUY MY BEST SELLING BOOK ON AMAZON!: tinyurl.com/3j9nczy3
🔥SCHEDULE ONLINE SESSION WITH ME:drzphd.com/gendertherapy
Give this video a thumbs up if it's helped you 👍
#gender #therapy #selfhelp
👉NOTE: I work solely with adults and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based from experience working with adults only.
🙋‍♀️Hello! I am a clinical psychologist or gender therapist, specializing in transgender field and I work with adults only. I provide online therapy for California, New York, Texas and Florida residents. My pronouns are she/her and you can visit my website for more info at www.drzphd.com.
👍VERY HELPFUL Trans/Gender resources: drzphd.com/resources
😍TRANS MASCULINE BLOG: drzphd.com/trans-masculine-blog
🤩TRANS FEMININE BLOG: drzphd.com/trans-feminine-blog-1
🤗NON BINARY BLOG: drzphd.com/non-binary-blog
🙌VISIT: drzphd.com
😀DISCLAIMER: Note as a clinical psychologist I created this channel to share information. Therefore I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information, and not to provide medical advice and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information, understanding, and to gain awareness.

Опубликовано:

19 авг 2020

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 70

@cecilien-azur4546 3 года назад

I need to let go of overthinking my past and focus on my present self. I cannot go back to an uncomfortable past of confusion and denial about my identity. I need to grow upwards now and be me. Thanks Dr, you are an amazing help for me

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Thanks for sharing!

@LuanMerlin 4 года назад

Thank you for that picture, it really helps.

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thank you for sharing and I am glad you are able to identify some of your branches.

@arii9355 4 года назад

I’m a trans girl but have to wait until I move out after high school to transition and come out publicly so it’s impossible to live my best life right now. I love the metaphor though, it’s very helpful. the lack of friends and a support group is so detrimental for me, so I think pruning that could help my mental health. I always love ur advice, thank you

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Hang in there and glad it was helpful!

@wendyvance5144 4 года назад

What a great video and I love the pruning metaphor. It is so relevant. The fear of coming out to my friends and family was the thickest branch that had to prune. It took a lot of effort and strength, but I finally pruned it to allow the growth that I needed so badly. To take your metaphor a bit further, I have discovered that as I grew, additional pruning was needed. Certain people were not able to accept me for me, so I had to change my social and relationship dynamics by pruning those people away. This was difficult but also needed. Thank you for this topic and I look forward to your next.

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thank you for sharing. Yes we need to remember that while it may feel painful to prune, it always leads to growth.

@BigFinnable 4 года назад

The pruning metaphor is so great for trans ppl because the more you grow, you can identify the areas that need pruning better, and when you do it presents an opportunity to grow more. We always will find those people in our lives that will love our growth, and the rest will simply lead to those opportunities.

@stephcranworth2210 4 года назад

I like how you extended the metaphor, because when I "pruned" even a little, it drove several people away. Like, you know who your real friends are when they sensed that you are struggling through change, and rather than lend a hand, walked away. In my case, they pruned themselves away!

@LeahT6317 4 года назад

Wow Dr Z this is a great metaphor to follow to overcome dysphoria! I've over come a few like finally getting a health provider who specializes in HRT for trans people. Before I was scare to go to a family practice physician as being in the midwest you can't find very many who'll accept trans patients. Not only is she great she helped me feel relief when she told me don't worry you have a doctor who'll look at all aspects of your health and not just HRT. One of the branches I need to work on is the fear of losing my job when I do full time but looking at obstacles like branches makes planning the trimmings much easier! Very happy I found your channel with your great advice and views and finally a great doctor I can get more branches out the way!

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Glad to hear it is helpful. We need to constantly prune our lives!

@brody1216 4 года назад

I pruned my first branch yesterday! After many years of questioning my gender, I finally took the leap and started the coming out process. All of my housemates are already using my name and pronouns and I feel like it was a step in the right direction :)

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Congratulations! SO great to hear!

@BagelBagelBagel 3 года назад

How is it going brod

@velabela7634 4 года назад

♥️I love you🦋🌺☀️🌈

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thank you!

@luissonador 4 года назад

Yes, pruning. I identify that as letting go of a toxic friend or two and even of a relationship or two(some gemeral acquaintancesand friends). Hard to do, but necessary. Behaviors of my past too(hypermasculine behaviour remnants) and roles. Practice kindness, unless injured, then justice and forgiveness. Lesson remembered.

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thanks for sharing.

@simplificator001 4 года назад

Thank you for this video. It is a nice and easy to remember metaphor. The biggest branch to prune for me (so far) has been the ignoring or pushing away my feelings and desires. I have pruned that branch by telling myself that I will not suppress my feelings anymore. Instead, I will express, examine, and try to understand them. This has allowed me to accept myself and to grow enough to start sprouting new branches that I may or may not need to prune later :)

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thank you for sharing and so glad it was helpful.

@Androgynary 4 года назад

I have a doctor appointment later today to discuss my dysphoria/transitioning so I really needed to hear this. I feel like I’m at a war with my reality. So much fear and doubt of the implications of what this means for life have been clouding my mind & making me really overwhelmed.

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thanks for sharing and I think your appt today will help you feel more in control of your life.

@virgoanb.6950 4 года назад

As always your advice is so helpful and reading other comments before me helps even more. I never realized there were so many people dealing with a lot of the same issues and feelings that im going through. My biggest fear or branch, is that I could possibly lose my son in the process. I know half my family will except me for who I am and the other half may or may not. I can deal with that one step at a time, my son is my world and I can't lose him. I need to be who I am for my health and sanity but I'm afraid of what that may cost me in the long run. Lots to think about and consider 🤔 ❤❤❤

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thank you for sharing and yes, many have so many commonalities and similar struggles that it can be empowering to know you are not alone.

@KarrennCoffey 3 года назад

Great analogy!

@BCSchmerker 4 года назад

+drzphd *Psychologic trees can be severely entangled, exacerbating different dysphoric aspects.* At my Byron (CA, USA) Shops, I've a number of mulberry trees on the north property line that tend to crisscross their branches, and deconflicting said branches is always a challenge. So with transgender and nonbinary psychology, where several factors can trigger dysphoria.

@bradleyvanderwesthuizen4271 4 года назад

Lovely Topic Dr. Z!

@antoinettesmith6935 4 года назад

Thank you

@hannahmich7342 3 года назад

Very helpful, thank you.

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Glad it was helpful!

@antoinettesmith6935 4 года назад

You helped me out. I thank and love you

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Glad I could help

@laseebo9424 3 года назад

Beautiful example given... thanks & keep it up Dr....

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Thank you, I will.

@ericluther1872 3 года назад

Getting past telling my spouse is the hardest thing to accomplish. I have been out en female mode a lot and I feel like a free person. Like just one of the ladies in the store shopping or eating at a restaurant with no one staring at me. Loved it.

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Thank you for sharing and I am glad to hear you accomplished the biggest step in your journey.

@stephcranworth2210 4 года назад

This metaphor is really powerful because it addresses your cautionary note near the end, that it might not be good to be too audacious and "prune" too much. If you over-prune a plant and start cutting everywhere, you can warp or even kill it. The same is true for people, especially for coming out and transitioning. Just like a plant, you (and your loved ones) need time to adjust and grow into the physical and psychological changes that accompany and define transition, whatever that may mean for you. In fact, what transition means to you personally may change as you change...and you need to give yourself time for that, too. Pruning gives you that space to grow into the person, woman or man or somewhere in-between, that you want to become. Likewise, a good gardener (like Dr. Z) does not have a rigid vision of what she wants the plant to look like in a year, but gives time for the plant to express itself and show where it wants to go and grow. Hope that wasn't too corny!

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Ohh this is so well said and I wish I mentioned the cautionary note in the video! So glad you did!

@stephcranworth2210 4 года назад

@@DRZPHD Thank youuu! I'm glad you appreciate it.

@richardbedford8120 4 года назад

The pruning concept is an interesting idea Dr Z. like so many good ideas it is somehow incomplete. This errant branch which needs pruning is a male that truly desires to become, and be loved as his own female counterpart. In my self garden, I left my male self intact but in the past. what is left is myself as his mate for all of my future. We are the spirits of mother and father within the self but every single thing including sex is its own opposite. Be very careful with those pruning shears Dr Z . "First do no harm", should ring a solid bell.

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thanks for sharing.

@starspinpal1 4 года назад

Dr Z, I have so many limbs, I’m confused about which limbs to begin to trim.... I’m still thinking about this post. Teri

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Take one at a time. Perhaps see if you can identify which branch would be easiest to prune to start off with.

@Ainator_ 4 года назад

0 dislikes congratulations and thank you for the video 😀

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Hahah just wait!

@behindzerosp 3 года назад

Currently my most visible one is my fear of telling mom about me secretly going to therapy from maybe late 2019 and that I feel different. It is combined with my fear that I will trobble her for nothing if I change my thoughts

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Thanks for sharing and I hear you about disclosing to parents. However, honesty is also important.

@adriyenn 4 года назад

One branch, in my case, that happens to be quite large is coming to terms with my transgender identity during a time when there's a epidemic of transgender women of color being victimized and killed at alarming rates each year. For some of us who happen to be of African descent, transitioning could mean we will become a statistic to our own communities and feeling as though no one will care. That's a branch I feel that weighs me down...

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Ohhh I am so sorry and that is indeed a heavy branch! Wonder if the weight of the branch to continue living as if won’t also kill you! At least your spirit. I do hear your fear which is a very realistic concern.

@Journey-of-1000-Miles 3 года назад

Hugs to you!

@bradleyvanderwesthuizen4271 4 года назад

Although we all have choices, I felt that I could not carry on in denial about my gender identity. I suppose I was sick of being sick and tired. I love the idea of pruning as its a gradual process of cutting away at negative beliefs. Although transition is not an easy road, I feel it was, and is totally necessary for me to live my true self and be happy. I lived in serve depression my whole life and I don't need to do that to myself anymore.

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Thank you for sharing. It is a very difficult decision for sure to make and often comes with much pain on a way to a less painful life.

@idkt-t9214 4 года назад

Hello, I just discovered your channel and I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask, since this question has been on my mind a lot for the past year or so. I finally started accepting that I am ftm when I was about 14, now I'm 17 and I'm starting to think more seriously about transitioning and starting hrt. I came out to a few people by now, one of which was my older brother who is studying to be a dentist, so he keeps throwing medical terms at me. He's not supportive and keeps playing these mind games with me that make me feel stupid and small. I came out to him about a year ago and he gave me the usual "you will never be a real man" and "I will never accept you, you'll always be my little sister". But I got to say, something in that conversation really struck me and none of the trans videos I've watched mention it, so I assumed he said it just to give me a shock and make me reconsider. I can't remember the exact words but he talked about how I was going to die much younger ( I think he mentioned at like 40 or something) because of the imbalance of hormones in my body. From what I know there are checkups every so often to make sure the hormones are balanced but I just wanted to be sure. Is starting hormone replacement therapy really able to shorten my lifespan? Sorry for taking so much of your time with the long message, and I apologise for any grammatical errors, English is not my first language.

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Hi and thank you for sharing. This is really a question more for a medical doctor than a psychologist. So I suggest you have a consult with a medical provider.

@kamrancahangirov2021 3 года назад

Super ts

@clarar6128 4 года назад

Could you make a video addressing the topic related to comparisons between transgender people and "trans-racial" "trans-specie" and "trans-age" people as they call themselves to discredit our condition and why is it absurd + harmful?

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Hi and thanks for commenting. I will add this to my list.

@DrayseSchneider 4 года назад

One thing I can think of is that I worry that my parents, and other authorities from my youth, will be proven right saying that this is "just a phase" so "stop being ridiculous." It sometimes even makes me doubt the soundness of receiving the therapy I'm taking. As if somehow the opinions of the above people change my actual situation, but part of my brain seems to think it does. So I often end up censoring my words and actions to appear to be" out of the phase" and seem "sensible." As a side note I also worry how the effect of the news that I'm seeking to transition might affect the health of my mom, my only surviving parent.

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

I am so sorry to hear of struggles you are facing. One at a time. One at a time.

@spoons2075 4 года назад

I pruned. Just In telling my family. It wasn’t hard because they love and accept me. I lied. It was kind of hard but I knew there wouldn’t be a problem supporting me etc and I was right. Personal honesty with others is hard, bottom line

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

That’s so great!

@mythornshaveroses6472 4 года назад

Hi Dr. Z. I feel like an invasive vine has slowly grown from the ground up, surrounding each of my branches, choking them all from the much needed warmth and light of the sun. It is not just that I need to remove some branches but, to be able to protect myself from these terrible outside influences as well. I am overwhelmed but unusually calm at the same time. I am lucky to have patience but new growth has become quite difficult. Do you have any advice?

@DRZPHD 4 года назад

Sorry to hear of your pain. I always suggest doing one thing at a time and to explore to ensure affirmation and some sense of certainty.

@mythornshaveroses6472 4 года назад

@@DRZPHD That is what I am trying to do. I just question how to balance all of this and feel like I am growing too. Thank you.

@bookworm5433 3 года назад

Think about animals. Does every creature have an equal opportunity to evolve? Of course for many reasons the answer is no. But let's just focus on a few. Some animals may spend an awful lot of time just trying not to get eaten. Their greatest priority is survival. A limit set by circumstances. A barrier between them and a different way. Also the degree of access to resources is a limiting factor. Now as an outside observer what is the logical course of action? My answer is this. Try with everything to overcome obstacles. Destroy any barrier you can. Gain allyes and make friends, network. Build what you can, fortify, your mind, your body, your spirit, as much of the world around you as you can. Probability of success is something you have a great deal of control over. Now, what animals have we been talking about?😊

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Thanks for sharing.

@samanthabakers2407 3 года назад

Hi there I can’t cut off some of my branches cause they are like roots for me they are my parents and brother and sister how can I go forward and I’m tired of hiding and holding back please help me and suggest me what to do appreciate.

@DRZPHD 3 года назад

Hi and thank you for sharing. Sometimes the branches can be our need to just come out.