Murderhobo | 1 For All | D&D Comedy Web-Series 

Deerstalker Pictures I feel personally attacked, those people shouldn’t have been so nosy and they might have lived!

Then the guards show up.

@@iamthe12th Then the King himself shows up.

@@ulrik5164 Then the King's court mage shows up

@@thenecrodancer4833 Then God arrives and ends up on top of the pile of dead bodies...

I just play chaotic neutral characters that basically go with the canned response of "Eh, whatever."

And you, as a DM, are trying to shove them back to heroes. Save the world.

you need this question pops up in the players mind after they massacre the kings army and finally meet the "evil" king....

Sorry for the text wall, but this is a nice story, I romise. I play Alternity with my friends, it's a somewhat realistic sci-fi RPG set in our universe's future, relatively simple (except with group battles with more than 15 people or space battles with more than 5 ships, these are a chore and last at LEAST two games...) and in the campaign we are playing right now we are explorer of a newly discovered quadrant of the galaxy in the year 2326, a little bit like Star Trek. We have the biggest medium ship, with a crew of about 300, and quite loaded with armament for a vessel of our size class, since we never know what we can encounter. There are six playable races, all in the Terran Federation, and our biggest ennemies are the Neo-Terrans, basically space nazis that consider every other races at best like slaves. Since we have a lot of crew, so we can have at least a character in most situations, would it be in the ship or on the ground, most of us play multiple characters. Two of the five players play two characters (I play the captain of the ship, Captain Saendra Steele, and a psion tech that mainly use the experimental psionic translation machine to communicate with the new races; and the other play the Computer Officer and a sniper), one play three characters (the pilot who can't go on the ground, a Sergeant and an Explorer who is also a spy for the Federation), and the two new players play only one character (one plays the Weapons technician who also is a combattant, think like a Tech-priest from Warhammer 40k, and the other plays a soldier). My captain is VERY good at what she does, she is charismatic AF, and is a master tactician. But she has the flaw Medium Temper - Orders, which means that if anybody doesn't comply to her orders --even by mistake-- she fly into a rage and gets HUGE malus to all her checks and make terrible decisions until the order is complied, the person dies or enough time passes. We encountered a new race, the Dwervo, which are mouthless dwarves living on an irradiated planet because they got into a nuclear war, and most of the population is scattered in underground bunkers. There is still one major city, which is under a dome. Since the city is well defended, we explore a bit and encounter some Dwervo, and we got escorted into the city. In the city, my psion make an amazing perception check, and detects that some of the Dwervo tech are in fact from the Neo-Terrans, and that we're in deep shit. The governor greets us in his palace, thinking we're from Neo-Terra, and the Captain don't deny him since otherwise our twenty-some party would get annihilated, we try to cut the conversation short and GTFO, but suddenly a Neo-Terran advisor enters the room. Before anybody could react, my psion basically use a jedi mind-trick to get him go back and not see us, but it only last one hour. We GTFO and return to the ship. As we get to the ship, a Neo-Terran destroyer suddenly appears (small ship with BIG guns), and we engage it. Meanwhile, the advisor return to his senses and there are volleys after volleys of missiles coming from the dome. We somehow manage to destroy the destroyer, dodge or destroy most of the missiles, but get massive damage to the ship. Suddenly, a nuclear missile gets launched, and some of the crew, including a player (he left the game since) try to escape by hijacking a gunship (they fail), and at the same time the pilot makes a crit fail check, meaning he gets us not into the course the captain planned. The flaw kicks in, and after the nuclear missile gets destroyed, the captain sees red and wants revenge on the Dwervo. She orders a pass over the city and a full bombardment from ALL our guns. Since we are massively damaged, most of the shots misses, but a shot from a medium gun makes an ordinary hit and destroys a building. Normally, the captain would understand that a hit with one of the big guns would be devastating and against basically all laws of war, but you know, she's in a rage. She orders ANOTHER volley, and then luckily (or unluckily...) ALL of our gun hit amazingly (think of a critical hit), almost max damage. The city is razed. In its place, there is a smouldering caldera of slag and melted concrete, with a fine mist from the vaporized Dwervo living here. A true and total genocide. The realization sinks it, she gets out of her rage, and since we're out of danger she orders to deploy every ressources to rescue all Dwervo we can from the wreck. We get to save a few hundred from the 39 thousands that lived in the dome... Shit. The captain levels up and put a few ranks in Law - Court procedures, since she knows what's coming. A week later, the follow-up fleet comes in system (we are one of the vanguard, and when we discover a new civilisation and make first contact, we ask a fleet to come make a permanent outpost to get the planet into the Federation, or colonize if it's a virgin planet (or help us if it's a warmongering dangerous species)), the admiral of the fleet then detains the captain and court-martial her. The captain has a good perk that I don't get to use often, she has a powerful ally that I can ask favours from (with drawbacks afterwards), her lore is that she's the heir of a trillionaire mega-conglomerate oligarch, and she ask for the best lawyer possible in the short notice she has. Somehow (and with multiple amazing (critically good) checks and a few last resorts (destiny points or whatnot)), we convinced the court that it was not TECHNICALLY a genocide, since it was during a war and that they were allies of our mortal ennemies, and multiple experts determined that the Dwervo population left on the planet was enough for continued survival, and all our efforts after the act amounted for enough to count for something. She got out of court not only free, but still with the captaincy of the ship, albeit with an advisor selected by the Federation (the advisor is also an employee of Papa Steele to check on her) to prevent further problems (the advisor turned out to be a traitor working for Neo-Terra, but that's another story). I got out of an execution for a war crime because it was TECHNICALLY not a genocide, and with a LOT of luck. I was lucky to keep my character, I was prepared to make another one... Oh, and she killed a few scientists prisoners from a prior planet working for a Theocratic tyrant because she was --again-- in an almost berserk rage after the tyrant launched a nuclear assault on all his ennemies (the other nations we allied with). And quite a few other murders, never one of the crew though, she still has morals... Except the traitor, who got a new breathing hole in the forehead after she betrayed us and almost killed us all. Yeah, the captain is not a good girl... She's mellowed a bit afterwards because she realized she was going on the wrong path, but she has a bloody trail behind her...

@@raznaak - What is your superpower? - I have a lot of money.

jevan king That's exactly what this is

That's the way my current party solves our problems, we can basicly be tracked by the bodies we leave behind. Well we are an evil party so that can be expected.

This is almost a red dead redemption 2 video

So true, love this depiction

@@bradmolyneaux5883 exactly

Good.

When I first read this comment I thought it said INCEST people...

​@@lordpuki1375 Ohh myyy

@@blaynegreiner9365 is it wrong that I read that in George Takei 's voice?

@@lordpuki1375 fun fact: puki is a childish word for fart in Hungarian.

throw in a shape shifted dragon

Hey, we DM's are known for holding family hostage and then killing them off. Did you send their kin to see what all of the commotion was about? It's only fair to stick to the script.

Last time i've seen this i was a player and absolutely disagreed with what my team had done. The GM was feeling the same way and i managed to get them to face justice, because they couldn't handle my paladin in a fight. It was great to play, but disbanded the group so...

@@nessa-parmentier when you are playing with fantasy psychopaths you are better off finding people closer to your disposition. My gf and I wouldn't tolerate that shit either. There are other things that would set me right off, fantasy or not, I don't care if it's pretend.

@@nessa-parmentier I know your plight, though my paladin at the time was intended to fall. The other players just really could not wait to go full murder hobo and that was never the intention.

I think someone even made a motivational poster about that. Character Development: When the pyromaniac sorcerer with delusions of grandeur has become the "Voice of reason" in the party, you might be doing it wrong.

IMHO it just increases the level of absurdity :)

Yes, that it is for sure!

I know a psychopath who told his wife to calm the F down! She was abusive to her daughter and was even worse to animals to the point that she maimed and killed them.... The irony was that of this generation, the psychopath was the only _normal_ person within the family whereas the others were all damaged beyond repair by their war time experiences...

wow sad

Perception check?

So found more than one way to skin a cat

@@SH-qs7ee We need next iteration of Evandra to wield a Katzbalger in off-hand, because it can be translated from German as cat-flayer.

Aint that the truth.

I believe he said "... can't beat herself." :)

Just aRide HOLY CRAP IF THATS WHAT HE SAID THATS EVEN BETTER

@@justaride7444 it was Feed......

@@kendalldrury8156 Aww, how boring. Are you sure? I honestly think "beat" makes for better comedy. I really struggle to see why the (imagined, but stilll) famished daughter of a dieing armless man would make the while crew burst out in laughter. That's just cruel.

“Aw honey...... Yes, yes you are.”

@@benjaythewhite ​Just because you're the bad guys, doesn't make you Bad guys?... No?... Anyone?... Ok... tosses peasant's dismembered arm into ditch and begins to cover it

You know you're the bad guy when even Nixie asks if you're the bad guy.

Surprised they didn't make the reference "Are we the baddies?"

@@Galacticat42 I'm sure that's exactly what they were going for.

Really that guy had it coming. Why would you make it clear that your intent is to rat out the murders/thieves/necrophiliacs when they're right in front of you.

If the silver pieces are made of silver, that would be extremely pricey. Could probably buy a goat for that.

@@Seeric85 does anyone actually use copper pieces?

@@VivaLaDnDLogs Big gripe about D&D for me was always that one silver piece is 10 copper pieces. Should be a hundred, and a copper piece should be roughly the equivalent of a dollar. A silver coin is a coin made of silver. That's big boy money for peasants. A copper piece should get you a few apples. Room and board at a fancy inn for one night should be a silver piece. That includes stabling and feeding your horse, dinner and breakfast.

@@Seeric85 Exactly my thought. It was always bugging me. 50 gold reward here, 100 gold loot there. I'm just creating my first adventure for my group and i'll do it somewhat like you said. It just makes more sense, why even have copper and silver when everyone has loads of gold?

@@christianstachl Maybe gold and silver are not quite as rarely found over there?

I thought that a perfectly valid reason to burn fire spells.

Cantrips, Nixie! You can use them as many times as you want now! Though, admittedly, nothing toast a smore like Burning Hands . . .

@@zenogias01 you're giving me the rumblies that only hands can satisfy

@@giselledsouza4073 But Carrrll!!!

I was hungry, don't judge me

Not enough gold

And now introducing the fourth member of the murderhobos- Reanimus the Black! Sup meatbags? How about we raise the dead then raise the roof!

HAH-

i laugh so hard that my stomach hurt so bad HAHAHAHHAH

Or a druid

IKR. She looks like a goofy, pyromaniac version of Mina Ashido from MHA

not 100% sure she is tiefling what make me think she is is her tail and horms but i don't remember if the fire genasis ( half fire elemental ( we call them genasis in my country)) have horns and tail... i don't think so if my memory is good only tiefling have these because of their demonic blood! ( i HAD played D&D but that NEVER was my main PnP ( that is agone in first, shadowrun in second and wherewolf in third)!

​@@thaerosFire Genasi are not shown with horns or a tail in MMM

@@fisch37 that was what i was thinking only tiefling have them (horns an tails) right? if my memory is good genasi only have "colors" ( for exemple more redish heirs and eyes for fire genasi and blue for water right?).

@@thaeros They also have some other stuff in the artwork, but the best tell is the colour, yes.

I know she's not, but it sort of looks in some frames like she's maniacally choking her cat too. Is weird.

As a proper villain should

Remember the evil one in Inspector Gadget......😉

Also a really amazing and rare odd-eyed cat. I want this cat to play a bigger role in future episodes...

Michael R cute cat

*Chaotic Neutral

@arnold jayeola you can have self aware chaotic evil characters that are just so morally bankrupt that they don't care

A C “Morally bankrupt”, so morality exists. You sound like a boring old Lawful Good.

@@qwertyuiopaaaaaaa7 just cause I believe in morality doesn't mean I follow it strictly. I'm offended you would associate with those uptight knaves, good sir.

Your DM doubles as a babysitter? Neat

Listen if violence is not the solution then you’re clearly not using enough.

@@asdfg2560 Problem: mosquito on your ballsack. Solution: Apply violence, or more violence? Result: a world of pain.

Fireball. The answer is always Fireball.

violence is not the answer. it is the question and the answer is "yes" xD

oh no, she's a classic chaotic neutral if I've ever seen one!

No, it would be Neutral Evil, Chaotic Evil and Chaotic Neutral will follow laws if they feel like it!

Well, if you remember the episode where they were trying to sneak into the King's Garden, Nixie was more than prepared to roast a guard to get by him. I think the only one who can claim not to be a murder hobo is Artrius. He's the only one who hasn't killed someone yet? (But he did seduce the BBEG in Roll to Seduce.)

@@jackielinde7568 Nixie had a reason to kill _one_ guard. She wanted to get the mission done. Evandra just didn't want to pay 2 silver for an apple so murdered dozens of people.

@@Rathkryn And the tavern she burned down? I'm assuming the death count was more than the party, their quest giver NPC and the barmaid NPC. I say the only one without direct blood on his hands is the bard.

haha idd... Is it a character choice for Nixie to have a lisp or is it due to the fake teeth? :P Either way no worries, just always found it somewhat weird seeing as the player herself has no lisp ^^

@@Micras08 Thats what I was trying to figure out. Either way its adorable lol

@@mech0p For sure :)

@DreamPioneer12777 Pretty much any level 1 character (other than a barbarian who is raging) can be one shot. That being said, it only takes 300 experience in 5e to get to level 2. It shouldn't take _too_ many jobs before you level up. 😂😂 Fun fact, in 2nd Edition wizards had a 1d4 hit die and had to roll for their starting hit points. So a level 1 wizard could potentially have ONE hitpoint.

@DreamPioneer12777 So Lawful Evil is better?

@@costinpatru5450 Always

@@costinpatru5450 Always

@@Rathkryn that depends if the game isn't milestone though. But if he did some missions he should level up.

not all... One "Chaotic good" elf ended up leading the group I was DMing into a town-razing massacre... and when a God came down and asked them why, the collective answer was no better than Evandra's "he asked two silver for an Apple!"...

Razing a town isnt chaotic good. Your party should probably role play realistic to their alignment choice

@@manonmarchand3444 I'm pretty strict in enforcing alignment shifts with my group. If a "Good" or "Neutral" character murders an innocent person, intentionally and knowingly, then I will change their alignment to evil. If they lose class features because of that, that's their fault. :3

And then you finish flaying the dwarf for information and you move on.

@@tonys6688 Unless they were lying to themselves, right? The goody-two-shoes types are *so* good at believing they're doing the right thing! ;D

Or if you do run off of the road a distance

Or if you do have the bard make the deception

I love how it's said by Yuno Gasai

Correct

Unless you have a bard then it’s a street performance!

In an earlier version of the script I had the baby breastfeeding. And just... No. No no no no no no no no.

Deerstalker Pictures Oh gods. Thank you for sparing us.

@@deerstalkerpictures LMAO, I just pictured that now. Would have fell out of the chair wheezing not expecting that.

Its fine... its dead now... :-P

D&D Sins.

As wise man once said, "As far as there are no witnesses, this is stealth"

@@Grimbago a chicken has witnessed your crime

@@joshuaknight6551 : "let's KFC that bitch!"

"This... doesn't... seem... physically... possible..." -Jimmy

That depends on the person; he could be a skull collector

That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.

"THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!! Blaaaarg."

omg, now I have to watch 13 seasons of Red vs. Blue all over again... 😆

A gorgeous James Bond villain.

@@lucifers.morningstar3805 Most women a-fucking James Bond usually are.

@@lucifers.morningstar3805 I AGREE 💯👍

Oh, no now she's HOTTE4

Idk. She looks average to me. The thumbnail is an exceptionally good angle for her but generally her jaw-line appears too broad and makes her face appear... bulky.

Favorite line in the whole series. She's just committed to the plan.

It was adorable 😍

Wha..

I love doing this kind of thing as a DM. Once, one of the PCs climbed over a table, and I demanded a Constitution check. He rolled high. I announced “the table collapses. Roll acrobatics”. 😁

That's not how skill checks work. If a player rolls to do something, the dice tells you how well it goes, an excellent roll means good power and finesse, not brute power. If I roll to jump a fence and I score a 20 you can't tell me "you jumped so high you broke a leg when you reach the floor"

This is what I call DM fuckery. Using good & unrelated rolls to screw your players over will not work out well for keeping players. It is annoying.

@@keeper21br Why a constitution check? Why not an athletics or strength cehck?

vamphunterx First of all, we weren’t playing D&D, but a different system. I just “translated” it to D&D terms. Second, we all had a good laugh out of it, the player included. We had fun. That’s the whole purpose of the game. But maybe you’re right, a strength check might have been more appropriate for the situation.

- What do you call it when you kill someone to get all their stuff? - Adventuring. (Dragon Age II: Mark of the Assassin)

Blair Bird depends how good there applied

Who Said those are fake?

@@CorelianClips, Nixie is the real person, Nicole is the RPG character.

Probably just took them off for that scene I think...

That's why we love tieflings!!

The man making russian subtitles, big thanks to you. Because of you I have an opportunity to watch this masterpiece. (My English is bad... made from woes and suffer)(The last part is untranslatable pun)

"pirates are fun" "I didn't say we weren't fun, but fun or not, pirates are still the baddies."

"The skulls show the barest of the human form, that everyone underneath is the same, also it's rad as hell" -Malcador, probably

You're not the baddies; if these people were good, they would all be at church, praying... for your evil souls

Well in overlord there is a guy that wears the skull of children. And he has not a evil alignment.

@@arqueiroXD Hell, Warhammer and 40k both use skull icons quite frequently on the good guys

just waiting for the episode where he fucks someone that will be really bad for the party

for now

I mean staying with and supporting the actions of the other two definitely makes you evil by proxy lmao

Antrius is Neutral Good, being dragged down into Neutral territory

@@Lucas-rz3vl He's neutral - wants to be somewhat good, but his party of 3 is himself and 2 smoking hot babes who also happen to have his wandering lifestyle. He doesn't want that ride to end, but he is in over his head at this point and since the ladies just murdered loads of innocent people while he stood by and watched he is now an outlaw in those lands as well.

twiggu can’t say I’m unhappy about her alignment revelation, I do like her character a lot more now 😂

Ouroboros_13 Nixie use to be my favorite. Now she’s tied with Evandra. Im glad they did this!

Moon River Baby let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Nixie is still my favorite, I just have a newfound love for evandra

you just "assume" the tiefling would be the bad one? you are racist. . .

IcedFate I meanshe does like to fireball at a guard just doing their job, and loving how a family got killed in a fire 😂

Wait to you have the warrior do it who also possesses Greater Cleave and rolls a nat 20. I've seen out happen! The group was fighting kobals and the warrior picked one up and used it as a weapon!

GM: "Wait... You took an Exotic Weapon Proficiency feat slot for dismembered limbs?" Player: "Well, if a situation comes up enough in-game, when the next time leveling rolls around, you adjust."

@@bretsheeley4034 that's my hexblade. He even tried to get the dm to let him make some dragonborns left arm his pact weapon. The stupidly funny part is a hexblade is always proficient with their pact weapon

"I just can't think of anything good about a skull"

@@gerardmontgomery280 it makes a wonderful chalice or ashtray

Nah, nah, totally Lawful Good. Those people were all evil. For sure.

Let's meet in the middle and say that she's True Neutral (with heavy Chaotic Evil tendencies). ;-)

Not just the men, but the women and children too

During much of the middle ages, _he just... died._ was plausible. We barely had basic medicine, let alone awareness of things like CPR or first aid, and peasants were _gathered unto God_ routinely in their thirties of _natural causes._ Of course, an open stab wound or a missing limb might belie the cause of his death.

@@Uriel238 Perhaps, but D&D fantasy worlds aren't really the middle ages. In general, they can be a bit anachronistic to begin with, but the presence of such common and powerful magic completely changes things, as magic is in many ways a much more potent technology than any kind of modern technology. For example, just compare any modern transportation method to, say, a teleport spell ... or for mass transit, teleportation circles. And as for medicine? No modern medicine in the world can even begin to compete with what D&D healing magic can accomplish. Even if it isn't as commonly available to average people as modern devices are today, magic is such a ridiculous game-changer that it completely reshapes the limits of what's possible.

Not even a baby was gullible enough.

That reminds me of a player, on an adventure of a friend of mine, who had take part on a murder attempt of a NPC - putting fire on his tent. No one has seen what the party did. Later, on the same session, they abruptly come across with the same NPC, quite alive, and his group. Then the player casually asked: “Shouldn’t you be dead”?

@@Uriel238 Actually, good age to die of natural causes was nearly 0-8 years and the ones who survive will envy the dead.

Presuming that they have done good things in the past and started out as say chaotic good I would shift them to at least chaotic neutral. If they were chaotic good and they did this to say, a group of lawful evil or chaotic evil bandits and thieves on the road, then that action would be fully justified within their alignment.

@@HypoLuxor Yeah, but they weren't bandits. It started with a merchant selling apples and continued with random travelers discovering their crime. This is straight up Chaotic Evil. I could MAYBE justify Neutral Evil if they were Neutral already.

@@colinsmith1495 true, but I think amount and volume matter. I think conversely if you were chaotic evil for years; you need more than just one lawful good act to make you lawful good. This also matters with your class as obviously that would be far more problematic for clerics paladins and Druids. This would require immediate atonement for their transgressions against their deity or suffer the loss of their spells.

DM consults notes for next weeks encounter and crosses out 'Cult of Necromancers' and replaces it with 'Order of Paladins'.

​@@HypoLuxor I mean..this is how everyone plays Chaotic Neutral anyways lol It is to the point where I literally sit down with any prospective players that give me a sheet that says "Chaotic Neutral" on it. Chaotic Neutral raises sooo many red flags because it is interpreted as the, "I can do whatever I want, whenever I want" alignment.

For some reason, that dialog reminds me a lot of "llamas with hats"...

"Then (Ninja) Brian stabbed some random guy with a different guy." ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-yWXIZk2kTKQ.html :)

Ninja Brian?

You’re missing the “Yeah I didn’t think I could top that, but then that band of Tabaxi orphans came along.”

''a man be stabbed with another man'' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The tagline of Chaotic Neutral players everywhere!

Brandon Galvan how else did they light on fire?

Well she did use all her slots for s’mores...

bigredwolf6 cantrips can be used infinitely.

@@flamenami And she somehow managed to exhaust her infinite supply of Cantrips. Like she said, she was hungry.

Jindo5 Her desire for marshmallows and using fire is enough to exhaust cantrips

Then they found out the shapeshifters are fire proof

@@jamieadams2589 And incredibly angry about having their hideout destroyed. XD Possibly even their temple, since they were a cult.

That works I guess.

U are the perfect dm

Did we watch the same video? 🤣

@@Kenionatus Yes. 😁

Well, cats do look adorable and are murder machines, so.

They killed kittens, you know

@@demonkingbadger6689 that wasnt a cat... that is what murdered the cats.

I was just going to say the same thing! I *want* that cat! ^_^

Love how she details the slaughter plans while petting the cat... just like good villain!

It's Turkish Van(City in Turkey) cat.

And there is another cat like it named Angora(also city name in Turkey).It's live in Turkey too.

Oof...that is a very lax DM lol

Ahem, yes, *cough cough* "enemies."

@@timwoods2852 They are enemies, they were not violent or evil enemies, but they were enemies.

The peasants were all several levels below any group member. So no XP.

Torsten Seidel “No XP?! That’s highway robbery!”

@@gameoverinsertcointocontin8102 There was a noble or two in there from the looks of it. So that's worth something.