I feel like so many people feel lonely in college because we have all these big expectations and it’s highly talked about. But no one really talks about you questioning everything in college and feeling like you know nothing.
Hollywood accurately summed up: "executives in their offices doing cocaine and people getting jobs because their dad or their cousin worked somewhere."
Yeah... Hollywood today is now CRAP... The Art of film making is pretty much gone! Just have a strong opening week - quality be damned, number of explosions per second, etc.
Wow. I feel like I just watched a mini movie. How did she manage to make me laugh, cry, feel inspired and be educated about so much all within a span of 13 minutes?! The sheer amount of hard work Ashley puts into her videos and her education/career makes me respect her so much! I see downright arrogant youtubers who's life is all about waking up at 2 pm, getting coffee, posting a video once a month with the most lazy content and get millions of views, and then there are people like Ashley, who started out as a full time college student, found ways to film in limited surrounding and still manage to give us well thought out quality content and the best part is she stays humble! Love you Ashley! Hope to see your name in the ending credits of a big Hollywood movie very soon!
I'm so glad you openly talk about how hyped up college/uni is and how lonely it can feel. I always thought that my life would be incredible when I got to uni but if anything it got worse, but I'm so glad that I went and was pushed to challenge myself as a person!
One of the most honest and real content creators on this platform. Ashley's really out here bringing back the sincerity in making content. Love this sosososo much, i can watch it for hours.
i feel the exact same thing about her. she just takes us all back to what youtube should really be about and still is so down to earth. gotta love one spicy ashley
1- when you cried about your loneliness I felt you so much 2- I love that you support education even if the system isn't right 3-i love dan & drum and I screamed when you put "Never was alright" 4-i wanna meet u and hug u and be your best friend 5-you're so talented ashley
College is where I saw so many people with depression, anxiety and just terrible mental health. Students joke all the time, myself included, that so and so class is killing them but it's high key reality. I've spent nights with friends crying over not knowing what's our purpose is and what's the point of a degree. My friends that have graduated already felt more anxiety for joining the workforce than actually wanting to celebrate. I have 2 more semesters before I graduate and I was fortunate enough to realize I needed a mental health break and took a semester off. In that time, I figured out my plans for my life. Sadly, i think it's such a bad stigma in the US to not finish in 4 yrs and people don't slow down to really analyze their future. If you want to go to college or are in college now, please take the time to think about how you've grown as a person academic wise, socially and how you want to see yourself in 10 years.
^^^ im a junior in college now and my mental health is shit. i know it's not just college, i was depressed before college bc of trauma & other things, but it's so hard to succeed in such an unforgiving environment AND keep your mental state intact.
I have one year left in college and tbh you couldnt have phrased all of my emotions better. Super confused about the future, super scared... just optimistic
damn... all i gotta say is... i wish i had your talent for distilling really large and scary concepts into something that's digestible for everybody... you really do have a talent for narrative and a way with words!! much love from a college junior who Big Agrees with everything you said in this video. and thanks for being so vulnerable, it really made me think about how i feel about college, the good and the bad!
This is so cute and good. I work as a PhD researcher at the London School of Economics researching RU-vid content creators, and I think this is such a good example of someone with a lot of influence giving useful information to their young audiences about their experiences of university. Keep up the good work!
I am in my freshman year and when you said that you felt lonlier than ever in college, I felt that. Honestly, all these movies about 'the college experience' build up such unrealistic expectations about what college is supposed to be like that 9 out of 10 times it ends up being disappointing. My social anxiety has drastically increased in college to the point where people have literally never heard me speak. College is not just fun parties and people minding their own business. Sometimes, people are not the kindest and they judge you and say mean things but in a way it has helped me be a better person and grow a thicker skin. Watching you tear up over your freshman year broke my heart. But you are okay inspite of it all, so I guess I'll be too. Thank you, Ashley (for improving my outfits AND my life.)
I agree to each and every word you wrote. It is my freshman year as well and error 404 friend not found. But it has only made me more independent and more confident in myself and getting all my work done myself rather than depending on others 😊
I agree! In college especially the freshman year that everyone is adapting to the new environment, it is easy to find a bunch of people to hang out and have fun with, but it is hard (actually during the whole college years) to find a person that you two are truly on the same page, share the same value and feel like a "bestie" or "true friend that can bring you up no matter you are on the highest or lowest point". I think it is because college is such a changeable place, and people's views and personalities also can be changed drastically. Also, social anxiety or any type of anxiety is normal, and I encourage you to see a counselor on your campus to talk with! I think most of the time counseling on campus is free!
@@zspov936 haha yeah I think 'the college experience' is mostly just a learning experience where you learn how to deal with adult stuff- one of them being how fuckjng difficult it is to make friends as an adult and also how lonely it can get sometimes. but lately, rather than just accepting my friendlessness I've been making an effort to get out of my comfort zone a little and go out/talk to more people, and I won't lie to you it hasn't been all that great. But it has been getting better slowly. I hope you do the same. I hope we both grow from this. :)
@@Bunnylovescoffee I'm from India so there isn't really a counselor and therapy is so fucking expensive here, mental health is more of a luxury trust me. But I've been trying to deal with it a little on my own and it has been getting better. Hope the rest of my college experience isn't as bad as this year was.
I feel like you're Hermione Granger, being able to be at multiple places at once. You were able to double up on classes, work, do internships, and film youtube videos within 3 years of school??? :O girl you're superwoman lolol
Ermmmmm hate to break it to you. But that is the norm for every student in the UK. We start uni in September. Break up early May. And we do that for 3 years. If you total the time your actually in uni you get 1 and a half years of school (6 months a year, that’s taking out Christmas, Easter, summer break etc.) and we are expected to do extracurricular, get work experience, and anything else we want to do. However the time constraints aren’t something we can change. It’s 3 years and that’s it. We get an allotted number of classes per semester and we usually only get to choose them after first year. So will all that roughly 8 assignments per semester (that big assignments so like a final etc) so around 16 assessments per year (or 16 assessments per every 6 months) ... yeah university (which is the same thing as American college) is fuckingggg harddddd in the UK 😂 😭 😝
this is such a wonderful real video, made so beautifully! thank you for talking so openly about the ugliness and loneliness of the uni experience that literally nobody seems to talk about, it was so refreshing as someone who's in second year and still considers dropping out every other week lmao
"'It makes you a stronger person, it makes you smarter, it makes you see the world in a way that you didn't before" love this last line a lot because it's so true and I guess my only reason why I still want to continue college
ahh this video is so personal and professional at the same time, im shook. also ashleys general presence and commentary just makes everything so much better ngl
I honestly can't explain the admiration I have for Ashley, she constantly gives out her all into making videos but still knows how to have fun in it, all the while genuinely caring for her subscribers and audience. ❤
I thought when I graduate college, everything is set. I’m gonna yet a good job, no more homework, classes and just making money and living my life! And yea... I don’t have literal homework and classes anymore, they are replaced with meetings and emails and presentations and reports and metrics and .... the list goes to infinity
Same, and now with the pandemic happening and working from home is the norm, I now struggle with work/life balance, when now you work at the same room at what you used to consider a safe space free from all the corporate bullshit. *sigh
"College has become really all about the 'college experience', rather than the college education, which is what you're here to get." YES YES YES. I'm a freshman in college, and I chose to stay home and go to community college, and my junior/senior year of HS when everybody's figuring out where theyre gonna go, my heart BROKE at the thought of community college. I had been WAITING for that "fun college experience": partying, meeting hot guys, a dorm, and freedom to start fresh, but the truth is, thats all SO overrated. Half of my old HS friends who went away end up alone in their dorm every night, wishing they decided to save money going to CC. My point it, any high schoolers reading this: don't be too attached to the idea of that "college experience." Go where you'll get the best education without selling your life away. College is ridiculously expensive, especially when the first year or two are just gen-eds that you can take anywhere and have nothing to do with your major. Stay focused on what you NEED and what you WANT will follow.
your experience is different and so will everyone else's. Community College is good if you don't want to pay for lower level classes. You will have to transfer to a 4 year to get a degree. Depending on your major, going to a high profile school is worth every dime. The networking, scholarship, grants available are well worth it. If you are lazy then going to a "big" school is not for you. The college experience is good for those who can handle the balance of social and study.
Sterling Marshel Sure, the internships/possible gateways from going to a high profile school are a perk, but you mention grants/scholarships, even though you wouldn’t even need them if that college wasn’t so over the top expensive LMAO. Most likely will still be in debt into your thirties. And ur missing my point: it’s not about “balancing” the social life & studying of college, it’s that so many people find the classic, popularized “college experience”(social part) VERY overrated and not all it’s cracked up to be. And I would watch how you interject the word lazy into this discussion
oh my god Ashley, thank you for being so honest about your struggles, thank you for openly telling us about your weight gains, your loneliness, your expectations and how sometimes they aren't always met, your weight loss (in other videos), telling us about you losing your virginity, having sex. Just having an influencer be this honest helps me so much, especially at the moment when I'm feeling a bit depressed. I appreciate you so much.
Hello Taylor. I'd definitely say that statement isn't necessarily true, and it's true dropping out of school has good benefits... but the good news is *You Can Still Succeed* in your occupation *Only* if it has good demand in the long run.
Young Papi It always depends on who is saying it and the situation they are in, she just happens to be one of the few on RU-vid that has followed through with their high school years, as well as attained a college degree.
"i could close my eyes and disappear and nobody would even notice." this literally made me cry.............. :') this is what I've been feeling recently and when I've gone to the Netherlands to pursue my education all alone from South Korea. i also expected that college will be a lot better than high school, but I was wrong haha it was much harsher and I had to make my own opportunities while teachers at high schools provide you info about all different kinds of events and competitions that you can take part in. i suppose this is called fcking LIFE hahahahaha
You go girl! You can do this!! Trust me, it is going to get better. With time, your environment will feel more familiar to you, and you will discover some people you can vibe with :)
i'm in awe of this video. the cinematography, the realness, everything! every video you post is truly a work of art and the time and dedication you put into youtube really shows. you are amazingggg :-)
wow. i’m four days from starting my college career (i’m also a screenwriting major), and this hit hard. i’ve been so scared of college not meeting my high expectations - like you, i struggled hella in high school emotionally, and i even tried to graduate early because i hated it so much, and my mom kept telling me to just keep pushing because college would be a thousand times better and i would finally meet “my people.” i super appreciate the honesty here. you put so much energy in to this video and really said what needed to be said. you’ve really built up an incredible channel for yourself, i cannot believe you did it all while attending ucla with an extra heavy course load. good luck with even more success in your future, your achievements are far weightier than you even know! you’ve inspired my filmmaking style so much! thank you!
And once again a genuine video. It was so wholesome. You covered college life very well Ashley. And thank you so much for coming out about your hardships and struggles in college, you brave girl. It's because of you, that we know we're not alone. And you're not alone. You mix the fun, loneliness, excitement, struggles, dreams, reality and emotions in a beautiful blend to give us this video. You may or may not even read this comment but I have to say this so that you know: You're someone I relate to a lot and look up to. You've taught me self-reliance and standing up for yourself even if you're not a big someone. And smiling through it all (even when sometimes you don't want to) Pursuing your dreams consistently takes a lot of determination & courage, especially if its an uncommon path. I respect that a lot. And your summing up lines are so mature and dare I say-wise. I agree, it's the harsh truth- which is what no tells us yet its what we all needed to know. Thank you so much Ashley. Congratulations on graduating from such a wonderful college. All the best for the future! Lots and lots of love and power to you girl💕
I am always so shocked how much education costs in America!! I am from Germany and here the school, university etc is free! It all depends on your grades if you want to go to university, so you need really good grades to study for the "higher" jobs for example to become a doctor, psychologist or lawyer.. I guess in America everything is about the money, but here the poorest people could make it if they study hard enough!
Wow. Thats awesome. Do they pay for health care in your country? They don't in mine. Education at the primary level is free in my country. I'm from the Caribbean.
“....parents go to jail for it” BIG OOF anyways i feel the whole loneliness thing in college too everyone is basically just doing their own thing so i thank you ashley for sharing the REAL shit about the college experience!!
One of the few people on social media today who is genuinely kind, is humble about their MANY talents and makes raw and very creative content. I know I don’t know you personally...but I have a feeling that you have a very bright future and life ahead of you. Props to you for pursuing your dreams!!! So inspired by you and thankful for your content!!!😊
i'm a film student with one year left in undergrad and hearing you say you got rejected by all of your studio internships made me feel so much better and that i'm not the only one this happens to !!
Same here! I have had so many rejections that it has let me down so many times, but don't give up! It's hard to get a job anywhere. Just keep pushing through.
kilo gram that I wanted to major in theatre and go to medical school for grad school however, the prerequisites do not align and it would take forever to finish all the classes so I opted for neuroscience as a major.
kilo gram that’s amazing! At first I was certain I was majoring in theatre because many say your major doesn’t matter but unfortunately it does matter when planning to go to med school, I would rather graduate earlier and pursue my career earlier than live in a fantasy in a sense for so long which will turn out to spending more money. Also I’m going to community college and then transferring to a UC so there’s that. I will start full time summer, and I want to transfer in a year but god I procrastinated too much in what major I would ultimately chose haha but now I know! Good luck btw! We need passionate doctors!
As a high school senior who's going to a UC, albeit not UCLA, this video really hits hard. It gives me such a genuine perspective on college that I can't find in many other college videos. Also these lowkey flexes that Ashley has dropped the past year: got into Stanford? and Columbia?? And she revealed this video that she not only was 1 out of 15 students in UCLA Film, but she also graduated early (admitted in 2016 but graduated 2019?!) Thank you for your truly honest and wonderful channel, Ashley. You're an inspiration.
I'm a high school senior right now, and I'm planning on going to school to pursue a degree in music industry. I have a lot of insecurities about my talent and abilities, and I'm nervous about college because the school I plan to attend is very expensive. I'm terrified I might be making the wrong decision, but at the same time I don't want to give up on my dream. When you talked about your insecurities and misgivings about film school, and about the industry you wanted to go into, I saw my own worries reflected back at me. Somehow, that made me feel better. You give me hope, that even if college isn't everything I expect it to be, I can still make it meaningful and learn and grow. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Your videos have always been a source of happiness and inspiration in my life, and I look up to you. Thank you for showing me that life is what you make of it.
Honestly, try to avoid getting yourself into unnecessary debt that you may never be able to pay off. Really really question why you think you need to pursue a college degree for the music industry. There are many many ways to make a living in the music industry without a college degree. But best wishes to you.
You made me cry when you cried! I felt the same way when I started college and same after when I transferred out of my community college. Now luckily I'm having the time of my life but I'm about to graduate lol
i'm a rising junior in college and honestly I hate it. I thought I was missing out on something when everyone would talk about how great this "college experience" is. I'm glad that I'm not the only person who doesn't see college as this amazing fun time in life.
“so they interview everybody in person first to make sure they don’t admit any weirdos... that system failed in April of 2016 ... when they admitted me” HA
Ashley, you are such an inspiration. I can’t believe how ridiculously smart, funny and hardworking you are. You are so different from other youtubers, and I honestly have no idea how you managed to make amazing content while still juggling the million other things (ahem, college) you had going on. I look forward to every video and I’m never disappointed. Although I doubt I will ever work up the nerve to do something like going to film school, I’m so glad that you got the chance to pursue your passion-you are truly talented. Thank you for everything.
I'm applying for PhD programs this year, currently doing my Master's. Undergrad was brutal, I felt lonely and trapped because I knew I wanted to go to grad school so I needed good grades. I love how this video doesn't sugarcoat or overdramatizes the college experience. I still believe it's all worth it. Thank you Ashley
Alexandra I am with you on the video it was great. I wish you the best of luck in applying for PhD programs. I know that I want to go to grad school and then go into research though I am a little stuck. Any tips you could give a junior who is in their Undergrad right now about it and the process of exploring it more.
@@christinaflinn5418 Hi! I don't know what field you're currently studying in so this may not apply to all fields (I'm a french literature grad student) but my suggestion would be to reach out to professors that inspire you and/or that you are interested in their line of work or even grad students for guidance. Basically, someone that could become your mentor; navigating the academic universe is something you learn along the way but having someone that you trust makes it a lot easier. Also, do NOT take anything personally; it's never about you! It's 99% about them and the limitations of the system. Enjoy the education you're getting and keep faith in yourself, even when it feels like everyone is working against you! Best of luck xx
I'm about to start my second year of college in a month and a half and by far what you said about feeling lonely and realizing that college can be painfully underwhelming is so true. I remember coming back home crying because I felt so shitty and a waste of human space all the time. It has surely gotten better but i'm so glad that at least one youtuber keeps it authentic and actually talks about shit that matters and things that students go through. I look forward to you videos every week. ILY Ashley
same, i felt so lost during my first semester but i started to get myself more involved in different activities like drama and choir and maybe i didn't make super close friends from those activities but i felt way more involved as a uni student and felt a stronger sense of belonging
Thank you for sharing your college experience :) I never went, and now, since this video was so thorough and well done, I feel I've truly experienced the journey
Hey girl, it feels soooo good to hear that going to college and having fun really isn’t that obvious and easy and making friends is hard even for someone cool and funny like you. I also cry nearly every day because of my college and how everyone is treating me there, but the difference is- I can’t even talk to teachers cuz they are also a really unpleasant people. It makes me feel a little bit better when you say that in the end it’s worth it. Thank you for this video💕
I cried watching this video because it’s really nice to see someone who takes the pressure of college having to be the best time of your life. I didn’t have a good time in high school, at all, I didn’t fit in, I hated the atmosphere. I thought college was going to fix all my problems, I couldn’t wait to be more independent, so start living my life as the real me. But my mental health has really deteriorated over the course of these 2 years, and I feel so much pressure to have a good time and to take it in, everyone always says that you shouldn’t waste your twenties because you’ll never get them back and it’s the best time of your life but that isn’t helpful to me at all. I gave myself a year with a lighter schedule to take a rest and heal myself, but with the pandemic I haven’t made all the progress I wanted to, and I realised that I shouldn’t give myself a deadline on stuff like this. I’m dealing with some hard stuff, and it’s okay if it takes me a bit more time.
I've been here for a while... I just realized! I remember your blonde hair, freaking out about your roommates coming home, being broke, tinder dates, hitting 100k, etc. It's crazy that you've come so far and I'm so proud of you! Thank you for your amazing content
video idea! i would love to see you talk more about film in your videos! i’m interested in pursuing a career in film and i think it would he super interesting if you made a video on it. its honestly kinda funny that you haven’t really talked about film much on your channel since it was your major haha it kinda feels like a secret side of you i’d love to learn more about. i’m interested to hear about your favorite films, your writing projects, how you approach filmmaking, and anything else you found interesting from film school! ily keep up the good work b 😘
As a student at UCLA I can definitely attest that friendships there are hard to come by and keep. I’m happy to see a realistic representation of our school 🖤
as a junior in high school this video simultaneously reassured me and made me anxious. either way i’m glad it exists. thanks for sharing your experience ashley :,)
5:30 - 7:01 wow you’re describing my life rn. I’m at nyu tisch and I feel so lucky to be here but also I’m so f*in sad all the time and crying about how the industry basically sucks and my future will probably suck too. I’ve never related to someone’s college experience so much
i really want to get into nyu and tisch but i'm scared that doing an arts major will fuck my future up, and the arts are the only thing i actually want to do w my life,,, too bad it wouldnt get me anywhere.
ansha if you’re passionate I think you can figure it out, whatever you decide. I’m definitely stressed out about what I will do when I get out of college (how to find jobs in the industry etc) and I have definitely struggled more than those majoring in more straightforward subjects. But I’m trying really fucking hard to be hopeful about the future and you should too. I have classmates who are over thirty who came back to study what they’re truly passionate about because at the end of the day, it’s about pursuing what you love. But like also don’t stress about fucking your future up. What college you go to and what you major in doesn’t define you. I agree with Ashley saying that college is about the experience and the connections you make (friends, professors etc).
I rewatch this video everytime when I feel lonely in college, this reminds me that I am not alone and I will most definitely get through this loneliness
No Ashley, your peak is yet to come! Your personality is so frecking great and well yeh its really fangirly bur i really love u, and for me you r like a friends, which may sound kinda sad, coming from a lonely 21 year old Swedish girl, but you really mean something to me and have helped me accept myself and my flaws and like understand that’s it’s ok to not be perfect. Well idk what my point was but it just made me sad to se you sad and I wanted you to know that your awesome and thank you for being there for me in some sort of way. 💫
You're right she has so many more successes to look forward to, her work ethic is astounding! I feel that Ashley is so open with us that she does really almost feel like a friend and I don't think that's sad at all! I'm a lonely 16 year old, hoping I'll find my tribe soon and if you are looking for one too I'm sure you'll find them. Ashley has really helped me accept myself and my flaws, as well, I think Ashley is so powerful and I love that I'm growing up in world where I have access to people like her online. Also, Christ it made me so sad to see Ashley sad but I think that's one of the reasons I love her, she's not afraid of showing that side of herself to us and we all feel like that at some point or another. :-)
As someone who just enrolled at college and is kinda scared about the future, this vid was really helpful and inspiring. You're right-- it's an education, in more ways than one
I honestly really freaking loved this video. I'm in college right now and am honestly not having the best of times, but it's really great to hear that not everyone has this "amazing college experience" that everyone is talking about. I always feel like I'm missing out because I'm struggling, but it's nice to hear that you had a similar experience and still made the best of it and enjoyed your college experience :)
Omg I thought I was the one who felt lonely in college, I just feel the same way as you. Lonely and meaningless. Like nobody can see me, and nobody seems to care. It’s really painful. I’m glad that you made it. You graduated!!
Honestly, thank you. I moved to a whole different continent to attend college and it really isn't the insane fun ride the movies promised. I do however, really enjoy what I'm studying and I feel like my world has opened up because of it. I wish it was cooler to go to college to really learn rather than to 'experience' the college life.
I also so badly want(ed) to move to a different continent, America, just to go to college here. But seeing all this and hearing stories about the educational system of America makes me rethink my decision. Plus it's so freaking expensive... I really hope they'll improve it some time soon.
it really hit me when you talked about freshman year. my first year has been rough, and it's honestly really nice to hear that you went through something similar and turned everything around
as someone who had a hard time in college (and honestly a hard first year after graduation) thank you so so so much for your honesty. I always felt like everyone around me was having the time of their life and it's refreshing and relieving to see that not everyone loved their college years.
Ahhhhh I feel that. I always thought I was doing college “wrong” because everyone looked like they were having a great time. I wish I saw this video during my first year
man this is so wholesome looking back on this its 2020 now your in nyc doing fashion week girl you came a long way and i strive to have as much success while accepting me for me and allowing myself to feel acomplished and not feel like i don't deserve to be
