I relate to so much of this especially the part about everyone not looking out for you. It's amazing how quickly people make this important moment all about themselves.
Keep yourself out there. You will be very useful to someone emotionally in need of support. I turned 80 a couple of weeks ago and,partly because of something I’m writing, have become interested in the attitudes of gay men of younger generations. I think your resentment and position vs a vs your family are completely legitimate and hope your journey continues to be as positive as I feel. It has been and is. David
Thank you for posting your truth, Keven. It takes a lot of courage to open up about oneself. BRAVO!! Your story is really heart wrenching. You mention the words "trust" and "trusting" so many times and it's no wonder why. I've been a subscriber and fan of your channel for many years now. You've never been this raw and transparent and open about yourself. For example, I could always tell that you're extremely intelligent. I just didn't know you are NYU-intelligent. Very prestigious! I wonder if this kind of trauma caused by your parents' (and especially your mother's) total breach of your trust has caused you to put up barriers in your dating life. If you consciously or subconsciously erect walls and -- with good reason -- have a hard time trusting other people, finding a man who you can totally let down your guard and be vulnerable with in a relationship is unfortunately going be very difficult for you. And it's not your fault. It's your parents' fault (especially your mother's). I think opening up to your followers, a group who have chosen to follow you, is a great first step, Keven. You've been open and vulnerable and let your guard down with us. This is the best, most raw and bravest vlog you've ever posted. Remember that you have a group of people out in cyberspace who have chosen to subscribe to your channel because they like you and want to be included in your life -- even if it's from afar. Just know that you have a wide group of thousands of supporters. Please continue opening up on your channel. I think you are most definitely helping a lot of people. xxxx oooo
Thank you so much for this kind comment! I have thought about that myself regarding trust - has it subconsciously created "walls" with others. Thank you for caring enough to share this feedback. 💜
I am most certain that it took a lot for you to bring that personal account of your life into the public forum on social media. I applaud you for doing so, as it will undoubtedly have an impact on so many. The tears of pain were evident, hidden behind your eyes, as testament to the betrayal and disappointment that you experienced from your family. Where you have evolved to in your life and self awareness is commendable. Your are a self aware and mature thinking and behaving man, to be respected and loved. You deserve a wonderful partner in life to love and be loved by. I hope, too, that your parents and older brothers will evolve into being fully embracing, loving relations to you, with no reservations. I wish for you all the best that life has to offer, you deserve it, Keven!! Thanks for making yourself vulnerable and sharing your truth…
It was good to meet you by listening to your story, to your journey. We all deinitely have one to tell. I remember the support groups and telling our coming out story. It was and still is very important. I'm so happy that you have built a chosen family. I still have some of these very people in my life all these years later. Keep moving forward, seems like you already know these things. In the mean time, we'll keep listening. 🙂
I thoroughly enjoy hearing your thought processes & I commend you for opening up on this specific topic. I was born at the end of 1989, but it’s so interesting looking back on the 90s perceptions of the “gay” community & how it’s evolved - is continually evolving. Your story & examining it from your dual cultures perspective (French & Turkish) is important. I’m sure there is a young person out there hearing this & finding solace/comfort, knowing they are not alone. You are strong Keven.
I am finishing up your video… so edit to add, you bringing up coded language is also so true & something so many of us face & have to decipher. Many phrases or words with double backhanded meaning. Not to diminish other gay content creators on RU-vid whatsoever but I appreciate that you cover & explore gay topics that should very much have an open discourse- dialogue as opposed to strictly vapid or superficial topics.
I'm reminded of the first time I came home after drinking. It was winter break from college and high school friends gathered for a holiday party. I was greeted by my Dad who waited for my return. He didn't say a thing. He just glared at me and went to bed. The next day, however, I got the sermon about the evils of alcohol. In time they learned I was responsible, that drinking wouldn't ruin me, and their fears were alleviated. I think that's true for the sexuality of your kids. As a parent your mind immediately goes to the worst case scenario and the need to protect. I'm not even sure it's a question of morality. If it's abuse you want it stopped. If it's straight you might worry about pregnancy. For gay or straight you might worry about disease and sexual health. But in most instances it's about protection. I'm not dismissing moral questions. Some parents hold those opinions, too. In time most parents learn that you're responsible, that it won't ruin you, and their fears are alleviated. We have to learn to accept ourselves, a process that for some takes time, but we allow ourselves that time. It's only right that we allow others that time. You don't have to like something to accept it's true. Acceptance isn't approval, it's just acknowledging the truth. The father in the film "The Sum of Us" explains this in a great monologue. About his son he says he wishes he was straight because he worries he'd be missing out on the great things he shared with his mom but, if he can't have that, he wants him to have all the best things he can have. I think this is where most relationships end up. It's just a matter of time. Sorry to drone on and thanks for sharing.
Your best video ever. Thanks for sharing. Sadly, many parents are okay with gay people unless it is one of their children. They feel shame at having a gay child and this is the worst message they can convey to their gay offspring. Honestly, accept your child as it comes into the world. Otherwise, do not have children. My coming out was very similar to yours, and to this day I cannot forget the shame my parents felt at having a gay child. You then spend your whole life trying to prove that you bring value to your family, but the pain never goes away.
I wasn’t expecting you to bring up about Tyler Clementi. That was the fall of my freshman year at Rutgers. I remember all the media vans around campus. Sorry about what your parents did. Some people won’t understand how it happens naturally.
@@KevenTalks indeed a shameful act in history marked that semester, one that should be remembered as a lesson on treatment of others. I was also dealing with personal complications and moved out of the dorm the next semester, but ultimately I pulled through to the end.
Good video, the big upside you were lucky enough to born in America and not Turkey during the middle age of gays coming out. There's still hope for your family changing. Thanks for sharing. 👍 👍 👍 👍
Being gay means that you live in varying degrees of clandestine subterfuge. The term gay didn’t exist when I was young. The climb to awareness and acceptance was arduous.
I was really lucky. was simple. my mother always say to my father we have to help our sons and daugthers always. we brought them to life and we are responsable for their happiness. my father, an extraordinary ... and so comprehensive person i had in my life answered, " off course. ", one day I was 17 yearsd old asked me if.I ...? and I asked then. . what do you think?. she was not surprise. from this day i could do my life as a gay man freely and happy. eventhoug i could bring my lover to stay home. and be part of my family... we go partiying, touring together.. and also with my extended family....
OMB! Your mother's betrayal left me gasping. Then to have your dad go off on you like that. Makes me think of the line from Dangerous Liaisons: "Why are Intellectuals so profoundly stupid?" Glad you came through it with flying colors. You don't say but I hope you're mending those bridges. Be glad at least you inherited your parents' intelligence without their emotional/cultural baggage. Hard to believe you haven't yet found a partner. But then they'd have to be as remarkable as you, a very high bar.
Why should we have to come out now kevin. We are what we are and Born the way we are .i wish i was born now I’m sixty and still keep my sexuality secret which really hurts me and i feel i have wasted my life ,being so unhappy most off the time. Maybe i need help i dont no my freind
God bless and protect all the LGBT people from all the evilness of the world 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈✝️✝️✝️✝️ In this world full of evilness, hate, jealousy, gossip, envy, sufferment, pain, harassment, discrimination, anger, abuse, murder, theft, rape and endless negative feelings and dangerous behaviors; We, the LGBT people must be aware of the evilness that exists in the world and not allow that anything or anyone divide us, we must always be willing to help other LGBT people and we must not leave any LGBT person alone or left behind 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 We must be aware that we, the LGBT people not only face the same problems and situations that straight people face, but we also face hate for our sexuality, hate for being different, hate for being LGBT, and that is, the hate just for being who we are and likewise we must be aware that not all the people that says that support us really do so 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 I don't care who you are or where you come from or what reputation you have or if other people like you or dislike you, if you are an LGBT person you have all my love and support ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 We can make a difference and be a light of hope to make from the world a better place 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 Never allow that straight men and women divide us 💥💥💥💥💥 Gay Men together forever ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 LGBT people together forever 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️
@@KevenTalks I’m down for OF!!! ha ha I’m so silly. I went to your main page and I got all your links. Thank you so much for the response. You are so kind. I hope you’re having an amazing day.
I send all my love and support to all the LGBT people of the world ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all are important and very valuable even though we live in a world that makes you all believe otherwise. Remember always be proud of who you are 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 You all make from this world a better place ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 LGBT people are a rainbow of love in a world full of hate, but with difference of our straight partners, we all are united over a same flag 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 The flag of LGBT love ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 And we all must be united against hate, violence, discrimination and intolerance ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 We all are like a great family and we must fight to destroy hate ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Remember, LGBT people is love and love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I don't care about your race, nationality, biological gender, health condition, religion or any other condition ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 If you are an LGBT person you have all my love and my support ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You guys are not alone in this fight and all the LGBT people of all over the world needs to understand this messagge, cause just united we will win against hate and we don't have to allow that nothing divide us. Never feel bad of who you are and never allow that this cruel world change who you really are or turn off your light and your shine ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 You all born that way and remember LGBT people of all the world, at the end, love always wins ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
