My Dad Won’t Give Me Access to My Money (I’m 19) 

The most important thing is for the caller to get their own account and NOT share that information with either parent. They are 19.

This sounds odd. She’s desperate to get what she says is her money but when she gets statements from her father showing where the money is she doesn’t even look at it? I’d like to know the rest of the story.

Her name isn’t on the account. The money is gone. Shameful

Abusive parents can keep their kids in a state of mind younger than their peers. I've worked with many trauma survivors who seem like they are YEARS younger. It's a way to keep control by making their kids less self-reliant, less confident, and afraid of everyday tasks.

I would love to hear the dad's side of this story.

I feel for this caller. The money is gone and she’ll have to learn to move on from it and cut ties with her father. It’s a hard lesson I had to learn too. My father stole out of UTMAs for my sister and I. We were shown a statement of investments as minors of money gifted by grandparents that he was supposed to manage. Parents divorced and when we became of legal age and I contacted bank for the access to UTMAs everything was gone and they wouldn’t even provided transaction records as he was custodian.

There is no money.

I wish we could get a follow up interview with this young lady

As a divorcee, when my child was a minor, I kept a separate account where child support was deposited. Anything the child needed came from that account. When she turned 18 (birthday in summer) and went to college, I gave her everything that was in that account. I know not all situations are like mines.

Why wouldn't she look at the bank statement before she called? Make it make sense

She said she doesn't know where the money is. Then she says he sent her a statement, but she didn't look at it. Pull it together, lady.

I think when she said he’s obligated to get a car I think she’s not saying the whole side of the story

Sad, I am willing to bet, the money isn't there.

John offered some really good advise there.

My heart goes out to this young lady if things are the way she says. While everyone is talking as if she’s 35, understand that she JUST entered being legal and may not know many things because she trusted her dad as she should have been able to and has been messed over by him.

If it is a custodial brokerage account they won't transfer it into her name ONLY until she turns 21. She may be able to liquidate the account and reinvest the money into a new account in her name though. My son has a custodial brokerage account and the bank did not allow it to be transferred when he turned 18. He has to wait until 21. So dad might not be financially abusive and she also may not have all the facts.

Any money dad took is gone. Shes never going to get it.

And if her name isn’t on the account that dad is investing in, show the transfer of money to the lawyer as he would have stolen your money.

I had an abusive mother. I am turning fifty soon. Remembering my nineteen year old self, I remember still being terrified of my mother. I had to learn to take my power back as an adult even if it triggered my mother’s wrath. I had to armor myself emotionally to avoid feeling terror when she was angry. I can hear that terror in the callers voice. Be brave. I didn’t have money at nineteen but I had a mountain of original series Star Wars toys. My abusive mother said she was letting me leave them at her house until I could afford to buy a house in a nice neighborhood. By the time I bought a house and came for my toys, I found out my mother had given away my Star Wars toys to a married pastor she lusted over. The pastor bought a house with the proceeds from selling my Star Wars toys in a nice neighborhood. The reason I bring up my toy story is abusive parents want you to believe they have your best interest at heart but they’re so manipulative, selfish and unempathetic, they don’t ever have their child’s best interest at heart. As soon as an adult child realizes this fact about her abusive parent, the better of the adult is. The pastor ditched my mother as soon as he had an offer for a better parish. The pastor was just using my mother’s lust to milk her for money. To rub salt in the wound, a few weeks after I found out about the theft, my abusive mother asked me if I had any Ewok action figures to go with my Ewok village. She had one of those cold eyed evil smile look on her face as she asked.

I don't know if it was even possible to listen to the Ramsey Show outside of Nashville starting in the late 90s but it would have been worth more than my high school and college education combined. Kids theoretically have access to this information now but obviously they prefer entertainment and whatever their friends are watching.

I love this episode. I have been in a similar situation with my dad. It truly can be so scary and CELLULAR in your CELLS that is it hard to think. This is great advice; I am so glad she called you guys.

Damn, I didn't even know a student legal service was a thing.

Similar thing happened to me. My dad's ex-girlfriend helped me set up a bank account when I was 15. I worked summer jobs during high school and had about 1k in this account. Later when I asked about getting to the money. I was told that the courts took the money because my parents had recently divorced and "thought it was your dad's account" during the splitting of the assets. Took a few years but it finally dawned on me, that B**** took my money and lied to me. What adult steals from a teenager? Some people are just sick, greedy, self-serving people.

I don’t know where my money is, but my dad sent me the statement and oh by the way I haven’t looked at it! I mean make it make sense!!!! Seems like a three sided story. Hers, his and the actual truth.

Im so thankful i had great parents 😢

I’d like to hear his side of the story.

My ex-husband did this to our daughter because she didn't want to have any children. She's married, is a veteran, and has an amazing GS job. It's his loss, but I know it hurts her, I can only tell her she's done nothing wrong.

This is pure evil. Stealing from your own child. My mother did this to me. It's despicable.

The money is gone, getting shown a statement instead of being transferred the hard cash is classic. Happened to me

She calls the show without checking the statement first? 😂

Definitely don't tell dad what your about to do.

Her story sounds suspicious to me

He sends her the statements, so she should know where it is. If it's her savings account, the bank probably has transaction records

My gut says she went off to college, and started making choices dad doesn't agree with, and he doesn't want to fund whatever those are. There is definitely another side to this.

I think investors should always put their cash to work, especially In 2024, we'll start to see more market diversification. I'm hoping to invest about $350k of my savings in stocks this year. Hope to make millions in 2024.

Money = Gone

He sent a picture of a statement. He didn’t sent an actual statement. That money does not exist!

John was on the mark for this call, the money is probably not in the caller's savings account, the dad took it all and is doing who knows what with it. Student legal services should indeed help her out. She mentioned $13k, not sure how much the deposits were but at the very least she should be able to get that amount safely under her own control.

Gurl, open your own account and put your money in there. Say no thanks dad.

I suspect there is way more to the story. Most likely Dad knows the daughter isn't financially responsible and is trying to protect her. Sometimes u gotta let them learn on their own

The money is gone; he already spent it

Yeah, I don't think that it's going to be that easy. My wife's dad was the manipulative type as well. I'd be surprised if the money is in her name, I'll be surprised if even there, and I'll be really surprised if she gets whatever resolution she can without lawyers getting involved.

She’s just a kid, I can imagine she’s worried about upsetting him further and she sounds like she’s been gaslit for years. I hope she gets her money and her mom forces him to get her a car, as in the divorce decree

Glad she learned this lesson sooner than later. 19 is a year too long.

Check unclaimed property too

Definitely close the joint credit union account she has with her dad.

Where are the investment statements to see what he took out? Is her name on the investments ? Her dad started to take her money at a young age’s so it should be in a custodial account. In fear it’s his name only

So, is her dad paying for her college? If so, that puts a whole different light on the situation at this time.

Would love to hear dad’s side of this. These young ones always start these stories with the “emotionally abusive” line. Which usually means he made her clean her room.

Thank you John for educating us about Student Legal Services! I never knew we had access to legal help included in the tuition ❤

I had a dad like this. There is no money. He's been taking her savings....

I went through something similar with my mom. My savings account was in my mom’s name as the primary account hold and I was secondary. The car and insurance was in her name even though I bought it at 18. She took my car. Took my money and I 19 had me emancipated so she didn’t need to help pay for college anymore. All in the name of tough love to teach me lesson because I lied about going to a college party with my boyfriend. If this caller happens to read this. A wise older woman told me you can always get a job to replace those material things you lost. That’s what I did 🤗☺️ ever since then my mother hasn’t been able to use financial blackmail to punish me. One of the hardest things I’ve done, but the other side is pretty great 👍 You got this!

I wanna hear from the dad

He stole the money a long time ago. In my country she coud take him to court and he has to pay every cent back.

The same exact thing happened to me and discovered there was Very Little money, after half of everything from time I was born . . . Feel for her!!

I'm sorry that you're going through this, and I'm sorry you're going through this.

Id like an update on this story

I would go and take care of any/all accounts on the same day so that the father wouldn't get wind of it and get ahead of her on some of those accounts.

We're just hearing one side of the story. The reality may not be anything like what she is presenting.

Unless he has spent it already and there is nothing left.

How this girl got into college in mindboggling!!! She’s not too bright!

Also, on the new account, be sure to set up beneficiaries.

That money is long gone

If he sent her a statement he is not trying to hide her money from her. He is feeling unappreciated by the women in his life he may have sought to protect. Lower the temperature of your interaction. You may get everything you are owed more easily. An attorney will set him off.

She needs an attorney.

Good advice.

Not that he’s right, but I would be interested to hear his side

SUE them. And then find out it is gone for sure . Sadly

In Switzerland if You inherit something, it can still mean that there is another beneficiary who gets the asset first. The beneficiary has obligations to maintain the value of the inheritance and not to sell it or consume it that afterwards nothing is left of the inheritance.

Her dad sounds a bit like a con artist.

I want to hear dad side 💯✔️

Legally required to provide me with a car in the divorce. 🤯 Wow. We are going only hearing ine side. Love to hear his. Maybe shes misbehaving and doing drugs catching DUIs.

Idk about this. Sounds like the dad gave her a good saving and work ethic. Maybe she’s a mess and he doesn’t want to give her access to money that could hurt her. This can go both ways

Before closing out the account, get/print copies of the statements including yearly tax forms.

Kid needs to text her dad a few times, where she has something in writing with her dad acknowledging it's her money. Then if she just can't take the money out of the investments, she needs to sue him in court.

Unfortunately, these aren't sounding like custodial accounts...

Nah, something not adding up.

@3:00 He sent her "pictures" of the bank statements. He could have made sure that the name of the bank wasn't in the pictures. She may not know what bank the money is in.

I work for a large financial institution once you are of age 18 some states 21 you can have access you need to visit a local bank and get some answers

She shouldn't be owed a car from the divorce if she is 19. This sounds sus

This caller is funny. She called the show without even doing the very basic thing by looking at her credit union statement.😂

My roommates dad stole everything from her savings account while she was in college. It was awful.

Shouldn't they try to explain how banks work instead of directing the kid what to do

It's possible that the money no longer exists. People who lose money meant for others can get pretty creative in producing proof that the money is still there.😮

I'm favoured, $28K every week! I can now give back to the locals in my community and also support God's work and the church. God bless America,,

This sounds like financial abuse. I'm not sure why she has not checked the statements yet? I would close out the joint account and open her own account, credit unions are willing to help with that easy.

"You might talk to your mom that way, but nobody talks to my wife that way and lives." Quote of the day. Seriously though, divorce sucks. Sometimes parents "coach" their kids to say the things that they KNOW will trigger their ex spouse. My daughter and her mother decided where she was going to college and excluded me from the decision and and then asked for me to make up a shortfall of expenses when I was already covering the tuition and fees (about half the cost). Mom sent her over to talk to me, and gave her the lines to say. I told her "That's your mom talking, and you see that we're divorced now, so you might want to speak using different terms.". It didn't matter anyway, after the divorce I didn't have the money she/they were asking for, I was down to broke people food. I haven't spoken to either of them in years. Way to make a guy feel like he's nothing but a paycheck.

It's possible that he opened a custodial brokerage account for her, in which case the funds may not be available to her until she turns 21.

Good comments here but I agree…we are only hearing one side of this story. I really hope her father wouldn’t steal from her.

8:30 😂 Dave spot on. You might have that thought then!

SLU is crazy expensive. Like 50k tuition. Somebody has some major money.

In Australia, you can open your own bank account without parental involvement once you turn 14.

If he moved it out of the credit union then it's not in her account or a joint account with her. As others have said. This is just a good lesson to learn early. Manage your own money.

I find this weird in that she said that she never looked at the statement(s) her father gave her. Seems obvious so I think she is hand waving a bit on that and is making that up. I suspect that the investment account isn't in her name at all and if there is a statement if may be hand made that her father drafted up -- if it even exists -- after all why not look at it?. If there is a hand-made statement though that may be legally binding so talking to a lawyer might help if asking him for a check is refused.

Good that you're learning this lesson so young. You are a legal adult. Open your own account. Do your own business! Even if your dad knew what he was doing, and he does not, it doesn't matter! You need to learn.

SLU has a law school. If there is no legal office at the U, I guarantee there are plenty of law professors and students who could help her. My guess is the money is gone, that does not remove his fiduciary responsibility though.

Poor girl, she needs financial advice and no one is there to support her. And she had to call a TV program to seek help.

There are two sides to every story……I have a feeling that her side is not entirely the full truth…..I just get that feeling in this one. And if she goes to St.Lawrence University they do have student services that she can get answers. I grew up next to SLU.

You need to separate the accounts and make it a utma account so you don't get any bright ideas.

If the investment account is in her name and she takes it out, she’s gonna have to pay tax on the capital gains. But she could move it to another investment account and avoid paying taxes and allow it to continue to grow