My dads relationship with his SISTER!

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Опубликовано:

30 июн 2022

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Комментарии : 944

@BoyMama87 2 года назад

“You cannot heal in the same environment that made you sick” I am a marriage and family therapist and I tell this to my clients ALL the time!! It’s my favorite quote. I’m so glad you shared it!’ I’m an exmo from the mainstream LDS church. I also heard that same quote “bloom where you are planted”. I hated it!! I hated living in most of the places I did, I knew I was never going to thrive if I didn’t leave.

@giorgiorosa4402 2 года назад

Bloom where you are planted = Mind Control 101

@somethingdifferent4u247 2 года назад

Truest words ever spoken.

@RazorRock3 2 года назад

Every plant needs to be re-potted eventually…

@boysrus61 Год назад

"Bloom where you are planted and transplanted and transplanted." This is one of my favorite military life quotes.

@claireconolly8355 11 месяцев назад

Thank you that is a SIMPLE and amazing sentence...thank you

@meechelle 2 года назад

He’s zeroing in on you because you’re the strongest and he’s mad you’ve figured it out. He knows you’re probably an inspiration to his other kids too even if it is secretly. P.s. I can see that anger in you while you’re speaking so it’s good that you’re working through all of this and not ignoring it.

@amyrivers4093 2 года назад

You are so right.

@rosemarymantele318 Год назад

I agree totally

@aqualeah 2 года назад

This is, hands down, one of your best videos! Such a strong message: holding your dad accountable for the dysfunction that he created in his own family. Thank you for sharing!

@dinapayne1538 2 года назад

That your dad is so mad is proof you’re on the right path. Some of your siblings will thank you for standing up to him some day! It will be easier for some of them to leave because of you and your sisters.

@jessicacourtney9429 2 года назад

I completely understand feeling crazy..my ex husband broke my arm with his family in town. His family wouldn't take me to hospital and made me ride with him. Then everyone acted like nothing happened the next day. I seriously thought am I over reacting.. am I crazy!? It does show the abuse they were raised in. Anger is completely normal and it is healthy to say it and get it out!! It is a stage that you need to get through to heal. By the way your eye makeup is always beautiful🥰Stay strong and thank you for sharing

@susanoline5823 2 года назад

Seriously, Jessica Courtney, my ex and his family are like a cult. I always got along very well with my in laws. Until my father in law died. They cling to each other like glue. I had to leave that toxic relationship, but my daughter has been gaslighted by him and his family forever! Unbelievable, the control they still have. Lol, yeast infections are common. You can pass it on, but it's a pH imbalance. Too acididic, too much sugar lots of times. You are an excellent speaker.

@margotchanning1822 Год назад

Disgusting!! I do hope u feel luvved now and ur happy. Fk that pos and his family 🌹

@robpeterson2542 2 года назад

I am a former member and I can't believe how ignorant we were and some still are I wish you the best and hope you can help some people see the truth. I am Deward Robert Peterson

@TheAmandaRaeGrant 2 года назад

I feel the sane way 💜💜💜

@bribri95 2 года назад

You literally had no way to know better, don't be hard on yourself 💖

@karawilliamson106 2 года назад

You can’t think like that… you guys were taught this from birth … you know how many people are in those kinds of cults!!! They are convincing and forceful…. I am so happy you got away💜💜💜💜 you are sooo inspirational 💜💜💜

@pinkyydior556 3 месяца назад

It wasn’t your fault that was all you guys knew

@robpeterson2542 3 месяца назад

I'm going tale my story of my dad the way he raised his family and how we worked together I've got to get it out it so hard to talk about this stuff I need and let it go so I can get some healing before I go crazy

@carolinereinhart5321 2 года назад

Amanda, you’re so brave for trying to understand your dad. I know that’s hard.

@TheAmandaRaeGrant 2 года назад

Thankyou Caroline ❤ miss you. wanting to go live tonight or tomorrow 💜 missing the culty crew fam 😭

@carolinereinhart5321 2 года назад

@@TheAmandaRaeGrant Miss you too, girl. When you’re ready, we’ll be here.😄

@danysanerd2383 2 года назад

@@TheAmandaRaeGrant have you looked into narcissistic or histrionic or borderline or any other personality disorders? I just noticed you asked a few things to yourself and I was screaming the answers at the screen. My family was full of personality disorders and learning about them have brought me immense healing. (Lots of channels on yt are great!) One good page to check out is mental healness I believe... and Dr. Ramini I believe... best wishes your spirit is beautiful and I love for you that you're not letting @$$holes like your dad dim your light! Oh and Observe, & The body language guy, oh and best of NARC alert!!! Blessed be!

@wendyfilice7101 2 года назад

@@danysanerd2383 I love Dr. Ramani Her UTUBE videos have been eye opening for my healing journey this last year in both understanding my father and my soon to be ex. 🙏❤️

@Dee-ur1hk 2 года назад

You ARE so STRONG 💪 and AWESOME ❤ What's done in the DARK will come to LIGHT. If you have to start your life with a LIE, YOU need to re-evaluate your LIFE!! I just ADORE you soo much. I'm so PROUD of you for SPEAKING the TRUTH. ❤LOVE your heart. And just so you know you are such a beautiful light! Your honestly is refreshing. My heart breaks 💔 for what you have gone through. HOWEVER @Amanda Rae you are changing lives. YOU are SAVING lives. Maybe the GHOST 👻 was worst you needed to be able to speak this. Keep being YOU! I believe that GOD has a plan for ALL of us. I KNOW you found yourself and are helping SO MANY! Sorry this was soo long. I don't comment much. But I felt I needed to. You never know who is watching your videos. You could be planting seeds of doubt two people in the order. And in time more and more people will go on their own journey because of your STRENGTHS! They will see it's okay to find THEMSELVES.

@cheesygal 2 года назад

Yes. I was raised in a church that has been called a cult. I don’t go there. My father was a pastor. He behaved in an evil manner. He died in flames (not literally) when I was in high school. I married and at 28 divorced and left the church. I went through much of the same journey you describe. Learning how to think critically for myself. Being in control of my decisions. Such a parallel to your story. As an encouragement, I’m now 60 yo and have an amazing life partner and we have awesome adult daughters. They thank me for sharing the journey with them, as it helped them in choosing their husbands well. I’ve been admonished for over sharing with them. They do not agree with that. I also have actually found a healthy relationship with our holy Father and His Son that is loving and accepting. Blessings on your journey.

@LovinLIFE9419 2 года назад

Literally just went “Ooooooooooo!!!” when I read the title😂 Also anger is one of the five stages of grief. There’s types of anger, one of them being righteous anger, which can also be called justified anger. For example, the anger one feels towards someone who is abusing others. What you are feeling and experiencing is righteous justified anger Amanda. It’s ok to feel this way and it’s important to work through so that it doesn’t turn into bitterness. Really cheering for you Amanda!

@Teresia12 2 года назад

Exactly

@amyrivers4093 2 года назад

@@Teresia12you are so right, it's really important to work through any emotion so that you can work past it and be whole again.

@ZaneiYah 2 года назад

❤

@melaniesalisbury2182 2 года назад

His lies he tells is another form of control over the remaining children , he tells these lies to make himself feel better. He is trying to gain power and control over you because you are spreading awareness. You are loved and are amazing

@maekate9925 2 года назад

When I think of the quote “bloom where you’re planted” pertaining to your situation, I think of it as you did bloom where you were planted. You were planted in an unfortunate spot, but you grew regardless of that situation. You were strong enough and brave enough to leave when you were fully bloomed. Your petals have gone elsewhere, and you’re so strong for that!🙏🏼💕

@wendyfilice7101 2 года назад

I am so sorry your father has treated and continues to treat you so horribly. He sounds like he could be a psychopath or sociopath narcissist. ❤️

@TheAmandaRaeGrant 2 года назад

idk at this point...I just need to process it all and move on...it is a lot harder to move on from tho when he is continuing this behavior with my younger siblings :(

@wendyfilice7101 2 года назад

@@TheAmandaRaeGrant I totally hear you and understand. It is so sad that counselors, the courts and so many families don’t understand how damaging narcissistic men are. I also understand needing to process it and it doesn’t matter what or if he has a label. ❤️. I am into psychology and it has always helped me to process what was done to me if I know why the people around me do what they do. I guess it helps me with cognitive dissonance or any self blame I have gone through. Much healing to you. You are a beautiful soul and person ❤️😊

@bluecollarlit Год назад

Take care of you.

@Valiant.Unicorn 2 года назад

In a lot of ways I feel like I'm healing along side of you. Amazing amount of growth, congratulations on your new place.

@TheAmandaRaeGrant 2 года назад

I am so happy to be healing with you 💜and Thank you! Come and visit us soon!!!

@melissadauer8757 Год назад

@@TheAmandaRaeGrant yah I feel pain from trauma . I hope time and the true God help you heal.

@makaylakaikea 2 года назад

I love your end note. You can’t heal in the same environment that was making you sick. I love the core concept of this message, making courageous choices even when it isn’t the “norm” . I’m proud of you sis! Keep plugging along

@MelaniePhoenix 2 года назад

Came here because of the algorithm and video title. Stayed and subscribed because I respect your honest and blunt approach when speaking out about some pretty messed up life experiences. You're very brave and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your videos.

@lynnkrening2711 2 года назад

I believe a lot of men that practice polygamy are sex addicts that use religion as a way to excuse their behavior, men become addicted to the thrill of the chase the can I get this girl and when they do it boost their ego and helps fill a void they won't accept they have within themselves. Thank God you got out of that and still have the strength and courage to share you opinion openly and honestly 💕💕

@dyrtisanchez5349 2 года назад

You said that you, "believe" they might be using the religious cult/church as a way to get away with having sex? These people are nothing more than a group of child molesters. She said her grandfather was holding up a baby that turned out to ben her grandmother? That is some strange shit. This young lady is doing a lot better than I would having to grow up in that environment.

@robertshrewsbury4241 2 года назад

We knew a person who investigated polygamy. He found, at that time, that about half the people had honorable intentions and the other portion, as you guessed were more on sex addiction.A

@OneLove51000 2 года назад

It's good to be angry at his terrible behavior. If he's not treating you like a daughter you do NOT have a Father. We don't choose our family but we can choose who we let in our lives. Keep him out of your heart and reflect on the good friends and family you CHOOSE to share your life with. Rock on, sister 💜

@shelby477 2 года назад

You're father is a narcissist. My mother was borderline personality disorder. Both disorders have a lot of similarities and my mother would trash me also. You can't let your sympathy for and empathy with his childhood and upbringing interfere with protecting yourself. It took me decades to finally figure that out.I had to accept and grieve that i was cheated of a loving and safe mother. That is what you are going through. And you figuring this out out much younger than i did is great. There are many people in the world not like that and will love you in a healthy way. You are doing great!

@amandasmith4357 2 года назад

Definitely narcissistic. 🙌💔👊

@angelainabinett7770 2 года назад

My mom has BPD too. It definitely makes for a tough childhood. Hooray for surviving & thriving in spite of it! I definitely had to go through that grief process too (OK, some days I still struggle with it). I hope that healing & peace are with you both.

@thepaganapostate3208 2 года назад

That's what I thought. The dad is some degree of narcissist to be acting like that.

@Zimzum93 Год назад

NPD and BPD are not similar at all but that’s a common stigma. People with BPD are more likely to be victims than to be abusers. I don’t doubt anyone who says they were abused by someone with BPD because anyone can be abused by anyone - but the fact they had BPD has very little to do with the abuse and shouldn’t be used as a reason / cause / excuse etc.

@shelby477 Год назад

@@Zimzum93 I'm sorry if i offended you. Yes there are differences, but there are also some very similar behaviors. But the good news is BPD is highly treatable if the person is willing to make the effort. My mother was not. Another person with BPD who is very close to me has worked hard at treatment and has done very well.

@surrenderjones7439 2 года назад

As a single woman in my early 30s…I can’t imagine how this cult would view someone like me. No kids, no husband, I’m sure to them that would mean I have no worth

@marthashaebanyan-bady4259 Год назад

No husband, and you're presumably still fertile in your early 30s? I hate to tell you this but you would be welcomed with open arms (and fly zippers)!

@222HelloGoodMorning Год назад

Girl, be glad 😂 the cult is 🤢🤮

@emilybarclay8831 Год назад

@@marthashaebanyan-bady4259 if she’s in her early 30s thankfully she’s about twice the age of the girls these men are attracted to. Which is a horrifying thought. But at least she doesn’t need to worry about these dirty codgers!

@basicallyno1722 5 месяцев назад

even worse if youre a person of color and all those things. you basically wouldnt be a human.

@username.not.known2473 2 года назад

It's so healthy to tell your story, your narrative. It's a good thing. You're strong. Also, definitely sage your house. Open the doors and windows, sage and imagine it's like a leaf-blower, blowing out all that which no longer serves.

@karinnewman345 2 года назад

Good idea ! I’ve heard to talk to them and ask them to let go and move on.

@MelMeter 2 года назад

On that note make sure if you do sage it’s not white sage as that is part of a closed practice and not for non indigenous people to use.

@aprilmiller7601 2 года назад

@@MelMeter I was just about to make a comment about not using white sage, it brings me so much peace to know another like mind was already looking out! 💕✨

@MelMeter 2 года назад

@@aprilmiller7601 oh for sure. I also try to keep an eye out for people using Palo Santo as well. Despite being Hispanic myself I don’t entirely feel comfortable using it despite being able to.

@klownofkether6996 2 года назад

@@MelMeter palo santo is also super over-harvested and unsustainably farmed sadly :( but luckily there’s so many cleansing things! I like to burn dried lavender, or even just ring an altar bell!

@crodrig18 2 года назад

Definitely clicked on this video because of the title... but already know it’s going to be great

@crodrig18 2 года назад

Also, that eye shadow fire 🔥

@veronicadean4767 2 года назад

It’s amazing that you knew it was wrong even in that crazy upbringing. You’re so strong!!!

@cindyskiffington6633 Год назад

Amanda, wow. So glad I found you. I am not a Morman or from a cult. But my husband of 27 years is a narcissist and very abusive. There are a lot of similarities. The gaslighting, lying, cheating, denial….all very crazy making. I thought that I was the crazy one. But he is a bad alcoholic and treated me and our 4 kids horribly. Sometimes he was cruel. Other times, pleasant. We were constantly walking on eggshells. Living with Jekyll and Hyde. But once you are out….you realize how crazy THEY are. Very much like a cult. So….it can happen on ‘the outside’ too. Your advice about ‘If you feel that something is wrong….believe it! It’s probably wrong’, are words to live by! We all need to listen to that little voice inside us, that knows right from wrong. Bless you for sharing your life to help educate! ❤

@Baba_Wawa 2 года назад

When you spoke about being around so much insanity it makes you feel crazy that hit close to home & reminded me of something my therapist once told me. I was in session speaking about that & what I now know to be the gaslighting that tends to be prominent in cultish environments. I asked, “Am I the crazy one?” He looked at me with the most serious expression & said, “It requires recognition of abnormal behavior to know you need help & seek it on your own. It’s typical to have those who are seeking reason & rationality to end up in therapy because they’re trying to cope with an external environment that’s causing internal reactions or trauma. Sometimes it’s the most sane in a group that winds up on the sofa.” It was honestly such a relief to hear. It’s stuck with me & been a source of comfort. I may not be the most sane but as least I was sane enough to recognize a problem & seek help.

@michellez13 2 года назад

Girl I could see a weight lift off your shoulders by the end of this video! Excellent work. You are healing and it’s such an honour to be a part of your journey! ✨ (I don’t comment much but I’ve watched every video)

@krystaladams4440 2 года назад

Ummm sweetheart I clicked on this because it's you!!! Love you

@TheAmandaRaeGrant 2 года назад

Loveyouuuu

@TheJessicahammerly 2 года назад

Same.. just saw she posted sitting and I thought she doesn't usually post at this time right? And I clicked.. lol

@greenecrayon 2 года назад

Same

@chrissybabyist 2 года назад

Ditto!

@apphappy1 2 года назад

You are a strong, sane woman who has found clarity amidst adversity. BRAVO TO YOU !!!

@WolfNamedBear 2 года назад

You're wise beyond your years, and always do such a good job of explaining the how's and why's of the way things have gotten to where they are within the order. Also tell Alfred to be nice and stop scaring you lol

@LifeofSparklyPopsicle 2 года назад

It’s good that you are getting your feelings and thoughts out by doing these videos. It’s definitely helping you process the pent up trauma! So proud of you

@nerdalieisasleepyhead104 2 года назад

I’m so glad you’re facing this hard stuff and processing through it. You’re such a good person. I would be proud to have you as a daughter or sister. It’s okay to not always be strong. Feel your feelings.

@lizfalk280 2 года назад

Hi Lovey! Love your NEW quote! 💜 So glad you feel better after chatting. Hugs!

@michelefizer2774 2 года назад

I was so happy getting this notification 🥰 Thank you for all you do! Enjoy your weekend 😘

@MeganSpruce90 2 года назад

This just came across my feed today, I am fascinated in all culty things.. especially seeing it from a first hand account. New subscriber. Have to say, glad you are out and seeing things with brand new eyes.

@sierra36524 2 года назад

This is one of the best videos you did. I feel with your dad's number coming up the anger and anxiety is rising. We love you and support you hun

@333cherry 2 года назад

I just recently found your channel, and I’m so glad that I did. I really admire how candid you are speaking about these things; you’re so right about anger being an emotion that we need to allow ourselves to feel. I feel like I’m going to go binge thru your videos this week haha. Also this is completely unrelated, but you have the most beautiful eyes!!

@heatheralbanese7919 2 года назад

Thank you for being so brave to present this video.

@CrankyBubushka 2 года назад

Thanks for sharing your story, Amanda. Yes, anger is an emotion that is very important. Glad you have therapy to help :)

@raisingsunspots8393 2 года назад

Do not apologize for sharing your story, ever. That is what makes you, you! Without stories like yours, we can't stand next to you, we can't protect others, we can't support you. Don't sensor yourself. we are here because we love you and support you.

@sjay7209 2 года назад

Hey Girl I am so happy to see you here! Saw your show before and I’m super proud of you!! Can’t wait to see what great things you will do 😇❤️

@trapp5tarranii171 2 года назад

Amanda my girl, the bravery!! Thank you for being vulnerable with us 💓

@lisaendress724 2 года назад

No matter the title i always click! You are such an amazing person! I really hope you get every good thing in life you deserve it! If i were your mom I'd be beyond proud of you!

@risenorth4263 2 года назад

Thanks for sharing. Keep telling your story. People don’t know. The more awareness there is, the better chance others have of getting help, getting out and not being judged.

@simplyshannon9053 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing the deeper and more in depth issues! They are very important! I know they can be uncomfortable but it’s important to get all the info not just the surface stuff! Proud of you!!!!!

@weir_family 2 года назад

Love watching this channel...for you. No one else, just you. You're rocking this RU-vid thing. Thank you for letting us in to your vulnerable places- your thoughts/feelings and your past experiences. That takes such valor and confidence. Great job. Though I was never in a cult, I imagine that you are such a role model to hundreds (if not thousands!!!) of young women going through situations similar to that of your own. I hope that they get inspiration from you and see that they can break free and live a fulfilling and productive life just as you have. A life that they live on their own terms, for only themselves. Good work, Amanda Rae!

@Mysafeharbor2 2 года назад

Thank you for sharing your story. Even though we had different childhoods, we have similar emotions relating to our upbringing and families. I still struggle with accepting what happen. But it does help to dive deep into my family history. I can understand the dynamics within our family and see my parents were victims when they were kids. This doesn't excuse the abuse they imposed on me tho. 2 things that I try to remember when working through issues: 1: I am reacting NORMALLY to an abnormal situation. 2nd, we are sick as our secrets. So, it is ok to talk about it. That one is hard for me. Cause I feel that no one will believe me or they will abandon me. I could go on but I will just say, your not alone. TY for sharing.

@bpfeifer99 2 года назад

I’m so proud of you! You and everyone who has escaped from this are seriously so strong 💪🏼 I’m shocked more people don’t talk about this . I’ve gone down the Polygamy rabbit hole and this whole idea is sick …. I really hope you love your best life ❤️ I’ll always be a supporter, I don’t have money but just know I’d help in any other way ❤️❤️❤️

@karawilliamson106 2 года назад

Thank you so much for giving others insight into that world… we really had no idea the level of abuse you all have endured… prayers for continued healing in your life💜

@ammiedoering4205 2 года назад

You have wisdom! Hang in there. You have grown so much in the past year. I love the quote “you cannot heal in the same environment you got sick in “.

@GOODLANDLORD 2 года назад

I don't know how I stumbled upon your channel, but I'm incredibly glad I did. Holy crap honey, the things you've gone through :( I really hope these video's are cathartic for you! I'm so glad you are out, and thriving xo

@NissaMaezHartman 2 года назад

Big Hugs, Amanda! It's so sad that you had to live that life. I'm so happy you and your siblings ( and hopefully all of them someday) have gotten out of that world. Your audience is your new extended family and we all appreciate you and support you. 💕

@bluecollarlit Год назад

Yes.

@i_am_ava Год назад

I love that you’re telling your story. I just know you’re helping so many others and for those who haven’t experienced what you have, I know we’re glad you’re opening up about it so that we KNOW. Happy new year beautiful courageous woman! And thank you for speaking out ❤

@klownofkether6996 2 года назад

I remember watching some of the first videos you uploaded about your experiences in the Order, and it’s really cool to see how you’ve grown as a video maker. You’re even more natural and engaging in front of the camera, and your energy is great, it’s clear that despite everything you’ve gone through, you’re really in touch with your authentic self. Keep killing it!! 👏🏻

@Flowergirl222 2 года назад

The way I healed from CPTSD and my parents’ abuse was to stop acknowledging them and their behavior and focusing only on the feelings their behavior produced within me. Your dad sounds like a malignant narcissist and people like him will never stop, no matter what you say. If anything, your words will just fuel him. Our experiences live on as long as we acknowledge them. The feelings will too, but the feelings are the only thing we have a measure of control over. Anger is a messenger and agent of change and you have EVERY right to feel it. You are very intelligent and beautiful and the way youre fighting for yourself, I know you are going to turn this pain into something beautiful

@LexAnnalyn 2 года назад

Glad you're processing and feeling your anger. Knowing what I know from your videos-hearing that you're in therapy and hearing how much you continue to grow and learn to thrive-this stage of anger won't last forever. I'm no expert, but I think in order to experience peace and, when applicable, let go, you have to feel the anger properly first. (I learned a bit about my anger in my early 20s. Current emotion I'm learning to identify and hopefully process in a more healthy manner, at age 29: guilt. Bless therapists.)

@moriahlyn 2 года назад

Always proud of you girl! Keep them coming! Those is important stuff to share.

@JoButterwick 2 года назад

Well done! We’re taught that we need to suppress anger to be a nice person. Yet anger is a useful emotion. . . it’s gives us energy and protection. Stay safe x

@jeannebrown484 2 года назад

Wishing you calmer days in the future Amanda♥️You are such brave beautiful woman.

@alexisco23 2 года назад

Awww you’re living with your sister! I love it! ❤

@desireedoubleyou 2 года назад

I'm rewatching this even tho I just watched it the other day...so glad this came up in my recommended videos bcuz I've now fallen in love with you + your channel ! Watched like, 5 or 6 other videos & now I can't stop...thank you for making these videos & sharing your story. You're gorgeous, inside + out.

@Jangemini 2 года назад

Firstly I want to say that I am proud of you of you being able to speak about your story and about the truth of these very known but unknown societies. A lot of people in this world are very confused and things that they should be focusing on they don't. So I give you props and respect for being able to tell your story and have a great spirit about it.

@lisajustlisa2923 2 года назад

I clicked on this video because I click as fast as I can whenever you post. I admire your strength, and love your videos! I commented at the beginning & had to edit after watching. You can't understand his behavior because you are a good person. Amanda, you have more character in your pinky than he will ever have! Keep your head up sweetie. Sending you lots of love and light!

@beths860 2 года назад

I think I recognize you from Escaping Polygamy. That show made me feel all kinds of emotion but I love that you ladies were always there for the people trying to get out.

@debbieclark5846 2 года назад

Omg I can’t believe I found your channel. I watched you on escaping polygamy and felt your strength come through when you were helping other people! You’re absolutely amazing!

@rkenzie5235 2 года назад

Thanks so much for the advocacy you do ♥️

@AlexandraG_ 2 года назад

Great video Amanda! You're doing great things, keep it up girl!

@TheAmandaRaeGrant 2 года назад

Thankyou girllll 💜💜💜

@nickywal 2 года назад

You have every right to be angry, he's a victim of the cult as much as anyone else but once you start harming others you have to take responsibility as well. And you're right, live a life you're not ashamed of, if you're having to hide what you're doing its wrong

@kathleentorres2010 2 года назад

I really admire you and the way you share your experiences. By doing this, you have a real chance at happiness. The kind you would never have had if you had stayed. It takes a lot of courage to be so open and I'm so proud of you. Truly.

@Lexaloodle 2 года назад

This is the first video that I am seeing of yours and I just want to say thank you for sharing. I'm only at the intro but it takes a lot of courage to share your life on the internet, especially when it is trauma. You're strong, independent and smart. I hope you also feel relief telling your story 💜 keep doing what you know is right

@Mommyofdragons70 2 года назад

You should consider getting in touch with John Dehlin at Mormon Stories Podcast. Sam and Melissa were just on. Just a thought….I really would’ve to see your story reach more people! 💖💖💖

@cindylou22312 2 года назад

Regarding your house being haunted, I learned and have had it work that you can ask the spirits to stop visiting. It also worked for my birth mother when she did it years before I met her. She was not the one who told me that. And it worked independently for both of us.

@recoveringrcm9693 Год назад

You are amazing and I think you’re doing great. Please keep doing what you do. Thank you for sharing your deconstruction with us. It’s so hard to separate family and abuse and hurt and deeply rooted beliefs… sending you love.

@qwhlftoGLGEKHN 2 года назад

You are a beautiful brave young lady. You are an inspiration to your siblings and that infuriates your dad. Proud of you for standing your ground. Congrats on your new place

@BeingBrittanny 2 года назад

The eye look in this video is top notch!!! I wish I could do a wing like yours! 💕 💕 💕 You’re making me wanna go try and practice again. Lol. I have shakey hands so I can never draw a straight line 😆

@LovinLIFE9419 2 года назад

“So anyways… I’m naming the ghost Alfred.” 😂😂😂

@leeannspencer2952 2 года назад

I just found your channel and all I have to say is GO YOU! I dated a man who grew up in "the order" and the amount of trauma healing one has to do after leaving is remarkable. If no one else says it I am PROUD of you. to anyone else who needs support or love after leaving we are here for you. you are so strong and such a beautiful spirit for living your truth.

@celeste.a.ayalaa Год назад

Amanda you are such a light to this world.. You have made me find strength in myself with how you chose YOU and continuously do so... You were born into this life to shed light on what so many put a blind eye on.. thankyou for being so strong, and so intune w yourself.. your story has and will continue to change many many lifes..

@jaynekendall3049 2 года назад

so proud of you Amanda sending my love 💜💜💜💜💜

@lauraleevencill7533 2 года назад

Thoughts are with you. Unfortunately many of us have less than ideal parents. Not sure if that is comforting, but you are not alone.

@miajoyce11 2 года назад

You should be very proud of yourself for breaking the chain & fighting hard to get healthy. U continue to be an inspiration.

@bentv4895 2 года назад

I woke up and was watching a video on diving. This guy dives from crazy heights and he is funny and delightful and helps to put me in a positive mood. So his video ends and yours automatically plays next. It took less than a minute for me to be drawn to your sparkling personality and your engaging talent of weaving a tapestry of your life that is vividly and clearly understandable. I just want to say I am so happy you left the craziness. I am inspired by your strength and your forthrightness. Keep being you. You could have been lost in that other world. But instead you are out shining a light on that darkness. So awesome.

@diansheffield6550 2 года назад

So proud of you for getting out and having a life...sweetie your strong and have a mind of your own. That's what hes scared of

@RosesandBlingPapercrafts 2 года назад

You’re allowed to speak your truth! I hate scary movies, I can’t sleep for weeks after I watch them 😱 Your dad needs therapy!!

@Kinnakeeter 2 года назад

I love horror movies. I've been a fan since Saw first came out

@tj6930 2 года назад

I will settle for her dad burning in hell for all the nasty, abusive, criminal he truly is.

@teresadoyle1396 2 года назад

Amanda, I am so sorry for your “raising” but SO proud of you for rising above it! You are NOT crazy but rather incredibly sane for seeing that none of it is your fault. May God bless you! 🙏

@TippyToeJo 2 года назад

Thank you for having the courage to share your story..I dont mean to sound callous at all but the insight into what it was really like for you and others is just morbidly fascinating..you are truly amazing. Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us 👏❤

@aprilmiller7601 2 года назад

So proud of you for making this! I can’t wait for your next live, it always feels like I’m just hanging out with a friend 💕 Also, your makeup is stunning as always! ✨

@unapologeticallyamy9031 2 года назад

Yeast infections can occur without sex, but I’m pretty sure people can spread yeast infections through sexual contact. Your dad lies because he needs to discredit you because he knows your siblings aren’t stupid. It’s a divide and conquer type situation. I think it’s really important that you share the reality of what’s happening in The Order. Vulnerable people look for love and acceptance and they fall victim to cults like The Order. It’s so important that you keep sharing the truth of what you experienced and what’s still going on.

@TheAmandaRaeGrant 2 года назад

💜💜💜💜

@mommab1969 2 года назад

Yeast infections can absolutely be spread through sexual contact, especially with an uncircumcised man who may not be thoroughly cleaning between partners.

@claudeyaz 2 года назад

@@mommab1969 especially if the women cannot get healthcare and those multiday prescriptions to treat the problem.

@Jk53121 Год назад

@@TheAmandaRaeGrant Just wanted to share my info, not assuming you haven’t looked it up. Yeast infections aren’t considered STDs bc they can occur without having sex, but they can be transmitted between partners. Yeast infections are caused by an imbalance in the natural bacteria and yeasts that exist in/on a mucus membrane (read: vagina or penis). If a man has sex with another woman, doesn’t clean, it can totally upset the vaginal microbiome of his next partner. The first woman doesn’t even have to have a yeast infection, just by introducing new bacteria to the second woman, you’re upsetting her natural microbiome. That’s also why it’s easier to get a yeast infection after sex with an uncircumcised man, especially if they’re not very clean. There’s everyone’s health lesson for the day. Cheers 🍻

@user-lg3rx2ko5g Год назад

Agreed but I have a very niche prospective on this lol I come from an eerily similar background as Amanda and I once witnessed something similar, didn't think much of it at like 8 or 9 y.o. but it was burned in my memory. Kids read rx bottles and overhear convos. Anyway recently found out the story behind it and suffice to say over-zealous religious men are prone to promiscuity and lack sxual discipline. A yeast infection is a soft blow when u consider the amount of unprotected sharing/mixing going on some of these circles

@crystalforseeodeneal1666 Год назад

You have been so strong, breaking away from the "crazy" and I'm glad you are able to speak the reality. It helps to heal you, and it may seem a little depressing for you sometimes, but you will come out stronger down the road. I know what your dad has said and done to you is so hurtful, but when you know that he is just following the pattern of mind control he has been raised in, you have to feel sorry for him, because you know how miserable and alone he must feel, just to be him, and to have to walk in his own shoes. Also, I believe he is sooo jealous of all his children who have been able to escape his fate. Talking smack about them is a way for him to feel superior, and to hide how he truly wishes he WERE you.

@sarahsbakingcreations 7 месяцев назад

"Bloom where you're planted" can have a positive meaning in the right situation. It can mean "make the best of what you got" and sometimes that can work. But no, you can't heal in the same environment that made you sick.

@imenehaddad2860 2 года назад

Amanda i grew up Muslim and i found you as my marriage fell apart a few weeks ago. Your are beautiful. Carry on.

@sleepycalico 2 года назад

If your new house is a rental, maybe the landlord will send an electrician over to see why that lamp turned itself on. Maybe it's just that the lamp's switch wasn't completely in the On or Off position, but maybe the house wiring should be checked--the landlord wouldn't want there to be an electrical fire. I haven't listened to your channel in a while. I forgot how much I enjoy your observations about life.

@cmdcrudele 2 года назад

Your videos are so inspirational! You’re such a strong and brave lady!! And random side note, I LOVE your eye makeup. I can never get my eyes to look that on point!

@lisawilcox8707 2 года назад

You are such a strong and brave young woman! Blessings on healing and moving forward with your life. You should be so proud of yourself 💞 Thank God you had the sense and intelligence to detach from the "crazy" 💛

@oliviacartwright3410 2 года назад

Oh hell lol the tea!

@heatherp5454 2 года назад

Amanda, if the house feels weird or haunted, you may want to try opening one window in the back of the house and sage from the front to the back to rid the negative energy. glad to hear you are getting that anger out! Holding onto anger is so hard on our minds and body. also, narcissists have no empathy towards others. they do not create real bonds with people and see people as objects in their path. also, also, I think when a narcissist has that many children, there is no way they can have a connection to those children and view them as a part of themselves. sorry you have had to go through this and are having to go through it again while trying to process all this on your journey.

@astral7080 Год назад

Your strenght is fantastic and outstanding, your presence here on youTube and elsewhere, talking and telling your story will help loads of people in similar situations! You are a fantastic woman! Love and light from Sweden

@kyleechristensen2217 2 года назад

This is my first experience with your content... I'm already obsessed! How don't you have a million subscribers? Such an interesting life you've led so far! I'll be starting at the beginning so I can catch up 😁 glad you are out and can't wait to hear your story!

@armt8543 2 года назад

You should sage you new place (congratulations btw!!) before you go to bed next! (It’s just to clear out old stagnate energy!) and you can invite anything there to leave / go towards the light (DONT gotta go home but you gotta get out of here ) (open all the windows and doors when you do it) so the energy and smoke has somewhere to go !

@brooke_reiverrose2949 2 года назад

Hi, please don’t use sage unless you come from a culture that uses it historically. The kind of sage used is endangered and it is culturally appropriative. A good clearing herb to use as an alternative would be lavender, I also really like chamomile for purification, though usually drink or strew it rather than burn it

@armt8543 2 года назад

@@brooke_reiverrose2949 why? Why not use the plant ?? If your intention is pure ? And you are honoring and appreciating it ?? Palo Santo is endangered too… some things you can’t control - YES you can shop smart and only support ethical companies … but after that I don’t think I care personally… all you can do is make sure you are doing YOU… spreading awareness is cool. But gate keeping is a slippery slope … the world is becoming a melting pot… not to be even more separated . And I use sage I grow from my garden so idk what to tell ya

@PrincessKryssiQT 2 года назад

I am so proud of you for being so brave and walking out of the toxic . It is hard when it is your own family. Have you thought about taking and ancestry dna test to see if you have any family members outside of the cult you can connect with?

@stephanielogana8893 2 года назад

Sending positivity your way Girl! Love hearing about your journey. Also love the song that played at the end of this video.

@ilishajones2555 2 года назад

I think it's amazing that you take the time to understand why he is the way he is. That's so mature and good-hearted of you. You're a great person. Side note: your eyes are ABSOLUTELY gorgeous!