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This is the brutal truth. Our daughter was born two months ago, and as her mother I felt an instant connection and bond to my daughter and just assumed that her dad would also feel this way. It was only last week when she started to smile properly at us that he said 'I feel like we've actually bonded and she likes me now'. I didn't realise before then that he felt that way and couldn't imagine how that must have felt. It just proofs that being a dad isn't easy and that the bond between a dad and daughter is a beautiful thing. I love this video! Indie is beautiful.
Oh my goodness I am sobbing! Such a beautiful video. So much respect for you and so lovely to hear a fathers side of having a child. It is not something you hear publicly and we should be made more aware of how fathers can feel too. Congratulations on having such a beautiful baby girl and I wish you and Sam all the best. ❤️
Jason this is just so lovely. So honest and raw. And I actually have thought of that, how can you instantly be IN love with a little being that only sleeps and cries and poops? But after a couple of months she starts smiling a lot, making eye contact and building her personality. You are just awesome!
holisticmaya while Jason's experience maybe common....a lot of parents do feel that instant connection. it is oxytocin and it is the same feeling as when you re love...even more intense
Carmen S True, but there's nothing wrong with being honest and talking about the opposite. It took a lot of courage for Jason to admit to that. Not many people talk about this issue.
Yeah but he said he didn't even love her for the first few months? I understand that there's a lack of connection but LOVE, you should definitely love your baby instantly. I mean first week or so maybe (to catch a bond) but I personally don't think it should take months to love your own child. I can't imagine not loving my child instantly, as soon as it's born it will become my world. Couldn't imagine not loving him/her for months. Like I said lack of connection maybe, but not love, that should be instant.
Georgia xo I think the best thing to do here is not to judge. Their lives are on the internet but no one knows exactly what anyone else is feeling. Yes, let's not judge and stop at that. You can only imagine what you might feel when you have a child. No one can predict the future.
I study Communication Sciences & Disorders at university & we study communication from birth into adulthood. It is so common to not feel a connection with your baby until what is called the "social smile", after feeling like you're just doing everything for a child so it can survive. It's a smile that is brought upon a stimulus in the room or area, usually a face. Babies love to look at faces. As a child's vision improves & can see farther, the more stimulation they can see & along with it comes more smiling & engagement. Bonds with your baby only grow from here on out! People mistake having to be instantly bonded, but all you're really looking for is that little sign of basic communication from your little human to feel it's all really worth it. It's amazing what that little "social smile" can make parents feel.
Honesty is the most beautiful thing in the world when it provokes things like this! May many other fathers find a sense of understanding and acceptance in his video.
I've never thought of this. That fathers don't feel the instant love. Sadly I don't think my biological father have ever felt any love towards me, even later on. He is a foreign man for me now. And I know I'm not the only one who has it like that. This little girl is a lucky daughter of an amazing mum and dad. You are together because you truly love each other and yes there are ups and downs but even though you are happy people and you know what way you want to raise her. You are already pretty good parents.
Czech Girl Sabi she is very lucky she has a brilliant mum and dad like yourself my dad didn't love me never showed it or said it we were always an annoyance or getting in the way , he dies two years ago and after l was upset not cause he died but because of what l should have gotten and knowing that would never happen if you know what lm mean he wasn't a good or very nice person and he had apt of flaws and problems but never did anything to sort em out your better of leaving him too it and getting on with your won life, and remember it them who has the problems not you xx
It's not just only men. I couldn't bond with my son when he was born, he had to be taken away from me and put in the NICU due to health complications. I was discharged whilst he had to stay. I had to come back to the hospital every 4 hours day and night to feed him and have some contact with him. I felt no connection at all. The nurses were looking after him, I was just the milk supplier. I was tired and emotional and worn out and everyone just kept telling me how happy I must be. I wasn't. And that was the scariest feeling in the world. I was responsible for this child I didn't love and I was too ashamed to admit it to anyone. When he finally came home, he was a difficult baby, he suffered jaundice and colic and I would just be pacing the hallway night after night while he screamed in my ear. My husband bonded with him instantly, he would stop crying when my husband held him, his first smiles were reserved for his dad alone, again I just felt like the leaky, miserable old cow that was barely keeping him alive. I was resentful, angry and depressed. This wasn't how my wonderful pregnancy was supposed to end. Thankfully, it did turn around at about 10 weeks, the whoosh of love finally came, I got treatment for PND after breaking down in the doctor's office and we came out happily at the other end. Don't be mistaken in thinking bonding troubles is only for the dads. Mums suffer it too.
Libra Fleur this happened to me too. my son was in ICU n I felt as though the nurses were his mom an do just birth him. and I think in a month my heart warmed up. he's my heart now. he resembles me and he has my personality. he's so stubborn but I don't get mad. I'm working with him
This is beautiful Jason. Well done for speaking about your struggle at the start as well. So often the focus is on the mum: how did she get on? Did she bond? But there's so little emphasis or help for fathers out there and it's so important that it's given awareness and understanding. Really glad to hear you're finding your feet - parenthood isn't textbook, you're both doing a wonderful job raising your beautiful girl 💛
Amazing. Its so fucking hard to tell someone some of the stuff you have said. I know this because am a mum of a four month old baby boy and felt the same way you explain. Now it kills me to think I ever felt that way! Well done!
The newborn stage is an ungrateful time, for both parents. As a woman I had a very hard time, too. I felt like all the attention was on the newborn and that I wasn't worthy and good enough to have born such a beautiful little human. You are supposed to feel a unique bond, truth is baby does not recognize ANYONE when just born and anyone is able to calm it down... It was strange. It quickly went, though. As soon as they have a personality and the ability to reciprocate love, it becomes simply the most magical and joyful (yet tiring) gift life every made you! Congratulations on your baby.
This video made me cry so much. Your honesty about bonding made me realize that my father never really bonded with me. Maybe he did but he never showed it. I'm 23 and it still affects me a lot. The way you look at her, the way you speak about her is so heartwarming and I'm sure she will always know how much you two love her. Congratulations on such a beautiful daughter!
this is truly what happened to me and I gave birth to my daughter It took me some time to bond and fall madly in love with my baby girl... first time being a mum and I didn't know how to feel or what to expect...but as time went it happened. to anyone feeling this way it's normal for some people, don't think ur alone... thanks for sharing ur video with us Jason 😊 she's a beautiful baby...
Hi Jason, i never comment but i just had to say: This is by far your best work! I just watched it 3 times, each time it got better and better. Thank you for being so honest it's refreshing. I dont have kids yet, but i thought of this alot of times! Congratulations to both you and Sammi, she's a beautiful little lady with amazing parents!
Your videos always make me cry. Not in a bad way, you put so much feeling and raw emotion into these videos it's impossible not to feel something. Thank you to you and Sammy for being so open and honest about your feelings. Hopefully it lets other parents know that they are not alone and other people have these feelings to deal with x
I am bawlllinnnggg my eyes out over this video! A father daughter bond is the best thing in the world. I recently moved out of my parents house to another state and I miss my dad sooo much. It just makes me want to be back home with him. He's my best friend. I'm so happy for you that you have this bond with Indie. It is and will be the best thing in your life. ❤️❤️❤️
Being 7 months pregnant with my second daughter I could not keep my eyes dry seeing this beautiful work you have made Jason. I loved every second of it. Enjoy all her little smiles, laughs, noises and even her cries. It all goes so fast!
This made me cry! I have a 10 month old and I could have said all of this myself. Becoming a parent is a truly wonderful gift. Also the fact that it took a while to bond is so normal. The fact you felt guilt for it shows you're a brilliant father. I was the same when my little one was born. Such a beautiful video xx
This is one of the biggest fears I have about having a baby, even though I am a woman and, as a mother, you're supposedly instantly attached to your baby. I've never had much of a 'maternal instinct', I don't generally like babies or children. I only like a select few, who prove to be 'worthy' of my affection. I am anxious about not being a good mother when the time comes, so I keep postponing the moment. Thanks for the video, Jason. Glad to see you so close to Indie.
Your not alone Jason, I also didn't get that instant "feeling" of bond or attachment of my daughter... I think it comes from being unable to comprehend how something so amazing could be apart of yourself? I find that I fall in love with her more and more each day tho..
Lovely video, but I just can't understand how you can't feel a bond with your own child from the start😕 how you said you didn't even love her for the first few months I'm surprised. Your own flesh and blood whos there and needs you, the one person you're supposed to love more than anyone, I understand that love grows but you're still supposed to feel some love for them at the start? but I'm glad you now think differently and it's brave of you to say :)
Elli VIXXette How can u justify NEVER loving your own child? Must be a vile heartless person in my opinion. The person who you're supposed to love more than anyone on the planet.
I am 27 weeks pregnant... this made me cry so much. :') Your baby is so beautiful, and she is so lucky to be surrounded by so much love. You are beautiful souls.
So beautiful. Brought tears to my eyes!! We have a 4 month old baby girl and she smiles with her dad like no other... just as you said. Bless you and Sam!
Watching your first few videos about depression and then this... what an amazing journey in life you had, you have to feel very proud of yourself. You have a beautiful family x
Absolutely incredible.. Beyond words how beautiful this is Jason. Congrats on being so honest and raw in a world full of lies about hidden secrets and feelings! Always sending love and well wishes your beautiful little families way x
My dad has never been around and it's extremely touching to see a father put so much effort into a video about their daughter and to be honest about fatherhood. Your baby is so lucky to have you and you're so lucky to have her.
Thank you for being so honest. Moms and dads alike can feel this way. You have to get to know a whole new person while their life and well being is in your hands. It's a lot but so so amazing.
This is simply beautiful, you can see the father / daughter bond already. There's nothing else like it in the world. You and Sam are amazing parents. Also you captured this video beautifully something to keep and treasure forever x
