My First Rotation: Rural Family Medicine! 

hi!!! coming from IG and i can’t believe it’s taken me this long to subscribe! your long form videos are a joy to watch and i can’t wait to binge the rest ❤ thank u for always being so vulnerable and letting us into your journey!!

I had the same experience! Well, not quite; my away was psych and I reaiized I'm not gonna be a psychiatrist. I just don't like getting into people's heads and wrangling with lists of mental illnesses in the DSM. BUT the people I worked with were amazing and got me through it! This made me realize that medicine is as much about your mentors and colleagues, the people you learn from and serve, as it is about the patients and their conditions. This is among the many revelations about rotations.

happy to see u again. hope your doing well. being realistic these days is so hard. Seeing your videos somehow warns me in that way, to be more honest to myself in my path and the struggles of studying medicine .wish u the best

I am surprised that you fret so much about your supposed failings in social media, particularly as a RU-vidr and content creator. I don't think you really have, but to the extent that you (may) have fallen short, it's only because you're engaged in the most consequential, demanding profession there is: medicine. Maybe those other RU-vidrs have a hundred thousand views per, but they make stuff up; you don't. You don't make up the woman with a lump on her breast that she fears might be cancer, or the teen athlete with a heart murmur that means he has to quit sports forever, or the army veteran with PTSD who just needs someone to listen, but no one has...until he met you. You've become so attached to your family medicine rotation probably because of cases like these as well as the relationships you've made with those who share your calling - so few in number, about 1 in 430 Americans who spend 8-10 years training to become the quintessential healers: physicians. The most time-consuming, strenuous, cognitively demanding education, a veritable rite of passage. Sure, there are even fewer astrophysicists - probably 1 in 1000 - but they study bodies of lifeless particles billions of light years away; you study bodies full of life, human beings, mere inches in front of you that you can see, touch, and palpate. And heal. Every once in a while, what you do may literally mean the difference between life and death for the human being in front of you, and you will surprise yourself. But even when your interaction is more mundane, you (especially you) will be a comforting presence to them. Standing there in your (short) white coat. They may not know that you are "just" a medical student- maybe those oversize pockets packed with tongue depressors, reflex hammers, and an odd Lange Case Files book don't betray your status as a neophyte. But they will always know that you represent...hope. And healing. What RU-vidr can do that? You don't need 100,000 views, you don't even have to be on RU-vid, to be a star. You are already a star, every time you walk into the exam room, or pull back the curtain in the ER, or place your calm hand on the shaking hand of a patient, or reassure the anxious parents of a sick child, or (soon) scrub into the OR. I know you will be amazing on your surgery rotation. :)