In a way, a friend breakup can be even more surprising then a romantic one. Platonic friendships carry less stakes and are generally easier to manage then romances, so why shouldn’t they last forever? But sometimes they don’t. There are a few friends that effectively aren’t in my life now that I thought would always be there. And like the presenter there was no dramatic fallout. Life and time just took us in completely different directions, one of which was moving to a completely different continent. But they are happy and I too am doing my own thing. Even if a person is only in your life for a season, and truthfully that is most people, it still can be enriching and worthwhile.
Just like in a romantic breakup, the end of a friendship can bring about feelings of sadness, loss, and even anger. It's important to allow yourself to feel these emotions and process them in a healthy way.
What if people don't have any friends? I choose not to have any friends and I only have "friends" that I see sometimes to party and I intentionally made a friend who is always asking me for money and was married, divorced and got back with her baby daddy.
My bff of 20 years kept saying, I'll call you back tonight. Finally i decided to let her call me back. I waited a year, then I texted her a few times after Covid happened. No response. Apparently she didn't want to make the effort anymore. It still hurts, but I've given up.
The person I thought was my best friend stood me up many years ago to go and meet up with a guy, but never told me she was going. We came back together 7 months later. Years later, she flaked out before my wedding and I decided to replace her as my maid of honour. I didn't hear from her for another 6 weeks. Then I heard from her 6 months later. She asked me to call her. I did. I told her that I had no interest in having her back in my life. She broke my heart and any trust I had in her. I felt angry and sad. Then, I felt disgusted. Then, I felt nothing. That's when it was over. That was 12 years ago. We haven't had contact since and I don't want to hear from her again. I have real friends now who care about me and wouldn't betray me like that.
I’m surprised by the negative comments. Why make hurtful comments? Losing a best friend is painful. Coming to terms with the loss can be difficult. Long ago, I learned that you can not make someone love you. I also learned to gracefully let go of those people in my life whose paths diverged from mine.
So relatable, very unpopular topic. This especially happens with girls, as they r conditioned to change their priorities post love relationship or marriage. Not only friends do breakup, sometimes it's your sister as well.
I never had a sister, but always wished I had. A friend has two sisters, but not good relationships and there's turmoil and heartache. Makes me wonder what kind of sister I may have been.
it depends on the family dynamic as well, i'll say this, i have 2 younger sisters and i am the oldest, I never felt like i was their friend, and felt alienated and hurt by them because they are my younger sisters, because they know me so well, and will use it against me. Couldn't even be myself around them. Meanwhile, my own friends, who also know me, NEVER use it against me, aka my triggers or sensitive topics etc. a sister is just like any other person, but you are forced to be with that person, meanwhile you CHOOSE a friend, you choose to show up for them, be there for them, and I think that makes it even more beautiful. but in the end, you can be like a sister to someone, to someone younger than you, someone who could need some help, be a sister to someone, that you can do. Or find someone who can be like an older sister to you, someone you can go to for advise or spend time together
there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship. What works for Adam might not work for peter. I However learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago my wife and I were on the brink of a divorce because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it..
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things...
Is always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I had the honor of being part of the live audience when Meenadchi gave this talk. Her message is so powerful, inspiring and potent. Thank you Meenadchi for normalizing friend breakups as part of collective liberation work ❤
Thanks for your presentation. You have indeed helped me a lot since I find myself in this situation now and I now know the way out. God bless u darling 😊
Thank you for covering this, I loved what she said about "Peace will not be found by looking for answers" because it wont. you can have all of your questions answered and still be left with a stung heart. I had a friend try to come back into my reality, and I rejected her request, unapologetically. I lost two best friends, we had been best friends since middle and high school, and my future relationships rippled from my anger and pain that I still take personally to this day. I always waited for a response, an apology from them nothing, time healed. nothing came. The freedom to be who I could become and who I always wanted to become is who I became.
I breakup with my so called Childhood friends and College friends because they are draining my life. They tried to contact me but I am through with them. 15-20 years of friendship and they haven't changed one bad habit. I let go and I found peace now. Moving on I have make new friends with interesting people with whom I share similar values, like personal growth, goals settings, uplifting each other. Old friends shouldn't feel bad for breaking up. It's just because the ENERGY is not matching anymore and they are not ready to UPGRADE to the NEW Version of me.
Gorgeously said. How much better off we all may be when we remember choice as part of freedom + agency. Whether in tending to ourselves, our connections, or the collective.
To anyone who has experienced the breakdown of a relationship - Have good thoughts of your Creator, Who may well have written someone far more suitable and befitting of your Companionship. RAMADAN MUBARAK ❤
Omygoodness. I am so so grateful that you have come into my orbit in such a powerful and miraculous way. Thank you for this super touching and heart warming, clarifying talk. Inspiration, learning, appreciation, joy, clarity.
I feel a bit sorry that the speaker here just realizes these features in human relationships. I lost my best childhood friend to cross-border distance and the time difference made our phone calls challenging (back then, we didn’t have smart phones and chatting app’s.) When we finally reconnected, we both realized that our values have grown differently and we couldn’t offer each other the time, the understanding, and the emotional support like we used to. I’ve also met great friends afterwards, yet people get busy with their own lives, kids, businesses, and other stuff, so they come and go, too. Friends-breakup, whether intentionally or indirectly, happen all the time. Friends-reconciliation happens, too, when the time is right. And, we meet new people and make new friends. I think the best thing we can do is to not have the expectations that so-and-so will be my bestie forever and s/he will always be there for me, but instead we should do our best to cherish all the friends currently in our lives. When it’s time to part ways, give them our best love and wishes. It’s not their fault, it’s not our fault. It’s life.
This video opened some deep wounds I have kept ignoring them for very long years. I have got more disappointments than anything during all my friendships. The first one being the girl I had known since being toddlers; twenty years all scattered by her unannounced. Going on and on with some others, the last break up somehow being the most painful one; short on reply messages, merely texting once a year(we parted three years ago because of college and future career)- which is initiated by me out of my care for wishing her happy birthday, nothing more. I started to question my personality and my social skills. My confidence crumbled and I've given up on forming any new, close relationship with any living being. Disappointed.
My problem is a logistical one of having a hard time with the work-life balance .I only have time for one or two people that want to spend time with me ,they're probably going to be local out of necessity and people that I have the best chemistry with which is no one's fault . In a perfect world I'd have time to hold on to a lot of my old friendships and expand my circle but my life just doesn't work that way .
I wish it was that easy people self sabotage when they don't have healthy ways. The friend have family's that think they know what's better then they're friend. It's sad.
I’m 63 and when I was seven years old I met this guy group moved in across the street from us. We went to the same school chase the same girls skin their same knees chasing fall out of trees went backpacking with the scouts. We both saw the big foots, now he claims he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Yeah, I’ve lost an old friend matter fact I’ve lost two of them like that both of them highly involved and they’re both running scared it’s too bad you can’t say what you want to say in life because you’re gonna be judged by humansby humans you’re judged by human beings, let me run and get my pale sand so I can stick my head in it
While I empathise with this sentiment, I think people who 'break up' with friends are villainised way too much. For me, a friendship is not for life (good if it happens but that's rare) and it's not unconditional. Most often, friends grow separate ways and that's perfectly fine. I've broken up with a few friends in my mid 20s because all those friendships were the friends relying on me to entertain them, to provide them counselling, and they turned it into codependency. When I became more self aware and tried setting boundaries, it was too late because their self awareness was not there yet and they'd got used to a different version of me than I'd grown to become. I can understand it was painful for them but the idea that you must stay friends at any costs is absurd to me.
I was apprehended at birth and rejected by my adoptive family at an extremely young age so when a friendship is over its like it never even existed for me. Guys I dated for months... I don't really remember names or dates. Yearslong friendships that no longer fit... I dont even waste a text. I don't think I have the reflex for attachment. I don't think it developed. I'm definitely not one to investigate what someone who is no longer my friend doesn't like about me. Its no longer any of my business and you have to have some sort of Jesus up on the cross martyr complex to flagellate yourself with the opinions of a former friend who functionally no longer even exists to you.
No human being is perfect. God's word guides us in how to treat one another, when we don't follow the example that is set before us to "Love thy neighbor"... when things don't go ypur way, you can't expect friendships to fall back into place when you ( we ) haven't treated each person with love. Jesus even took time for the children. However, in this fast paced society of just trying to survive friendships and relationships often lose their way unless both ppl are intentional and show up with directed love to one another. I believe we need the Holy Spirit for that to happen, and to also take a step back to see where we went wrong.
Oh, god. people learn this when they are in kindergarten for crying out loud. TED is really trying for the lowest bar possible. This is BuzzFeed level talk.
This woman is a nightmare. A healthy friendship is usually very easy to maintain, so having a best friend "break up" with you should be a massive wake up call to do some self reflection. Instead this woman convinced herself that it has nothing to do with her, and then just said the word "liberation" 14 times. I hope the friend sees this and feels validated in their decision.
This is a very big assumption to make and very judgemental. Did you miss the part where ppl can naturally grow apart over time and it's not anyone's fault? Esp with childhood friends. Saying this about a woman you don't know sounds like a projection
@@ThegrayareawithYvette That isn't what happened though. Obviously friends drift apart, but her best friend actually told her flat out that she didn't want to be friends anymore. And before you waste more of my time review the facts, study the stats, learn the data, know all the information PLEASE.
“Meenadchi (she/her) is a somatic healing practitioner and communications expert whose work centers social change and embodied transformation. Using the modalities of family constellation therapy and Non-Violent Communication with a decolonial and trauma-informed lens, Meenadchi supports inquisitive individuals and entrepreneurial changemakers transform our worlds by healing how we speak to ourselves, each other, and the universe.” 🙄
Why are you in the first place ? I think nowadays people are making small things bigger and getting stressed from it for no Reason, People have their individual freedom. If someone wants to leave he/she has a choice of freedom, Giving too much affection to feelings is like giving your control to people's hands, it will lead to more mental health issues.(Maybe someone wants to do this in society so the mental health doctor gets some wealth, I'm just saying) Don't know when people will become GOAL oriented.
Every human is flawed indeed. However, christians nowadays have more flaws even with belief in Christ but not following the teachings of Jesus Christ. Honestly, christians are not better than any average human. What good is Jesus 's love if you can't differentiate the behaviours of a christian from an average human being?
What you say is really sad, because you are not capable of truly loving without Jesus, you are not capable of finding love except through the help of religion. You don't know what true love is if you only seek it through Jesus, you don't know what it is. You don't count on yourself and you don't trust yourself enough to truly love someone, But you need others, like Jesus. How sad
It’s sad when people don’t put Jesus first . 10 commandments. 1) trust God with all your heart and Sole. I’m not religious I’m faith based Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or a religion. I’m Christian I believe in Christ and the Bible . I love everyone , yes everyone is flawed but if you both have the Holy Spirit your chances are great then not . I seek him first then all things that God wants for me will be granted unto me . Please do more research. If you say your partner believed in Jesus were you also a believer.
@@bobortiz Jesus says we are all equal and equal, and according to your religion, God puts everyone on the same level. What you say as a believer makes you less good than someone who doesn't believe, because there is someone out there who truly loves even without Jesus, and you are discriminating against atheists and other religions. You deserve heaven less than an atheist according to your religion, remember that. Bringing God and Jesus into the issue is childish
People don’t care about friendship break ups. They’re not as emotionally or physically invested as romantic ones, so it doesn’t really matter. Aside from maybe a little shock and discomfort, you’ll be over it in a few days.
@kendallstark4302 yes, friendships do have a strong bond. My friend wrote me off after 50 yrs. We had just returned to our homes in different states after a great trip to Vegas and were planning a cruise the following year. There was a miscommunication that erupted into the end. It was all by text msg. I kept my cool and suggested to forget it and move on. My dear friend using incredibly foul language and personal attacks accused me of being self righteous and said she didn't want to be friends anymore. Just like that after 50 years and after a great vacation together. Our lives took different paths and I'm retired with a much more stable and secure future. I never flaunted my success. There could be some jealousy. I may have valued our friendship more than she did. Don't know or understand, but it hurts my heart.
Sounds like you are maybe talking about acquaintance break up. I had to break up with a close friend of over 15 years for certain reasons and it affected me even a year later. You have to grieve it, almost like a death.
