My Hoarding Is Getting Dangerous For My Grandchildren | The Hoarder Next Door S2 Ep2 | Only Human 

Yes you are right it is very motivating to clean watching this!

Genius idea

Me too!! :D

@@dianea3324 ahahahah lmao!! So true! I wanted to throw away all my files, my diplomas, everything. My cleaning lady thought I had lost it!

I almost spit out my coffee laughing ... it’s so true.. I do the same thing.. I have to be careful with the 600 lb life ones though bc after watching them it makes me never want to eat again

100% agree! I really feel that TLC exploits vulnerable people with serious mental health issues

There's an older series called Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners that is very entertaining and really tries to help the people. I loved that show!

Yes I agree. The setup and sentiment of this show is so much more humane. The U.S.- based show feels harmful, disrespectful, and sensational. I think there are kind professionals but the show still highlights shameful and shaming behavior instead of a solution.

@@barbarahenninger6642 Me too! I miss that show.

@@barbarahenninger6642 thank you for the suggestion!

Right?! He got right in there and helped move stuff out. Above and beyond

Yes! That was so lame. I was like why is she letting him downplay it. “Little” should not have come out of his mouth! And why has she allowed this to get this bad? She needs therapy too.

@@AngelaAnaghoTV You are absolutely right!

Yeah I noticed that minimizing language as well 🙄 And his comment when they were asked how often they told one another "I love you" - she said she'd like to hear it more often & he was like "oh y'know how men are" (basically) it's like mate forget all that "MEN do this and WOMEN do that", just be A PERSON & treat her as one. If he's got that mindset when she expresses her unhappiness at his behaviors he's not gonna **hear** what she's saying, he'll just chalk it up to "oh she's nagging, like a WOMAN" rather than she's expressing her feelings, like A PERSON, y'know?? /off soapbox lol

@@marchi.fleming I agree 100%!

@@marchi.fleming absolutely, well said

That's what I thought too

He may well have done that and been unable to make a go of the business. People who love or are obsessed with things often don't want to sell them.

Damn, now you want her to pay for a shop as well???

@@amydecker6207 BandinBoston wrote: "She should make him rent a shop.." I think that means he would pay the rent and therefore be forced to sell things to be able pay the rent so he wouldn't lose the shop/all the antiques in it.

Good idea!

Same. Growing up, each room had a single walkway and some of the rooms I didn't even know were carpeted for a few years.

Yep, grew up in a “just buy another one” house.

Lmao i know right? I doubt he actually can support himself "antique dealing" since nobody actually buys his junk, if he did, he might actually have his own place at the age of 40 and wouldnt be mooching off his girlfriend thats 20 years his senior.

These hoarders are a nightmare to live with and they like churning their hoards from one room to another. Often they will keep the place clear for a time and then start the hoarding process all over again.

@@gillianbrookwell1678 I can imagine. And like any other addict, to get well they have to be willing to change. Just realized a 12-step program might be good for these folks!

It’s not an addiction. It’s a severe form of OCD based on irrational fear. It is a very visible and destructive form of mental illness. And they deserve to get the help they need just like anyone else in emotional or mental distress.

@@kamihayes5147 both substance use disorder, as well as OCD and hoarding are all driven at least in part by compulsive behaviors or thoughts. They are not dissimilar, in fact there is often comorbidity between the three. There is nothing wrong with noting the parallels between substance abuse, and hoarding disorder. In fact there are treatment models that mimic Alcoholics Anonymous framework for hoarders. Included are Clutterers Anonymous and Hoarders Anonymous. So no, they are not the exact same thing. But YES, 12-step type treatment and intervention models have proven benefical to those suffering from hoarding disorder, just as AA and NA has proven effective in helping those suffering from substance abuse.

This woman must have the patience of a saint; I would have thrown him out long ago.

She has to take responsibility also .

Well, she must be 20 years older so may be reluctant to give him up. He may be sponging off her, otherwise it is puzzling why he is even with her.

He didn't force, she let him. They simply never discussed an end date to the 'temporary' placement of the first piece, so it snowballed from there.

He just moved in with all his junk. He acted like he didn't even have to ask her if he could fill her house. He's a loser or he would have had his own house to fill up.

What a heartwarming post thank you so much for this and I truly hope that your book is successful 💜

Awe🎀💝 ThankYou for sharing y’alls story.

I enjoyed that story♡ I remember when my little brother & I had nothing but rice to eat,well water to drink,& no heat:( hardships make people to become stronger people♡ I am humble & thankful for everything! God Bless you & your loved ones! RIP to Mildred & her sister♡

It won't make the cut. Just a piece of respectful truth since we need more honesty. Your story isn't unique enough to get published. You'll have to independently do so, I 99.9% guarantee you. I just don't want you wasting your time. The industry is more lucrative- and selective- than you think, especially in non-fiction. My suggestion- fictionize it and add huge unique plot twists to make it stand out. If it makes the cut, then you speak on the truths in it. Hope this helps& dont take offense. ❤

@@TheINFJChannel why would you care if I waste my time? Just because you don’t get it, doesn’t mean the rest of the world won’t. I haven’t even told you the whole story. I can assure you that it’s dream stealers like you that snuff out the light with in people all the time driving them to the mundane mediocrity know as the middle American suburban dream. You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to walk away from that type of toxic negativity.

Thats what my stepdad is doing to my mother and I

100%

I would be like, " take your stuff and leave" .

Agreed.

Thats so funny! Thank you for sharing your wit although I am only watching the episode a year after you!

He seems like a homelessexual to me! No way would I let someone move in with me and allow him to hoard the house. If you ever watched Seinfeld, there was this guy from the UK that Elaine met and came to visit her. He was horrible to her. This guy reminds me of that character!

I was thinking more if how desperate she is to have a man.

at least the kitchen is clean and usable.

03/08/2021 Exactly!! 👊🤣🤣🤣👊 And I'd definitely ask about anything she served to my children (her grandchildren)!!!😒

Such a wsste of food and money just to accumulate roaches and rats

Bet she never gets covid. Good immunity.

@@palapalak.8907 did you see her mouth? the corner of it??

Gross, Lady!

I live in india dharavi slum u know it ???

My sister-in-law is the same. She was a child refugee in Germany, then England, after WW2 and for a while they never had enough to eat. She has a freezer stocked full - would probably last her and my brother six months! However, she does follow use-by dates.

Same mentality as your father with me as well. Starving almost daily as a child and young adult. Often, just a small glass of juice for dinner because I was broke. Swore I would never go hungry again. I don’t have a lot of brick a brack, or clutter, but I’ve got too much food. It’s time to donate unexpired items and throw out the rest. I know the issue behind the food purchases, but it’s coming to terms that I’m not going to starve again that I have to mentally absorb. It’s been a slow process. That stuff stays with you for life.

I feel for you all. I have had some hungry times, it does change your mindset. In lands of plenty, some don’t have enough. It’s awful. And we can fix it, if only our voices get loud enough to demand change.

@@SW-su5ho Someone in another comment mentioned 'rotating'. Eat the oldest good stuff first, so it doesn't get lost in the back and go bad. That leaves a buffer for security. Helps if it's staples you like and eat regularly. Another trick the container method: Figure out how much is a good/reasonable amount. Like instead of 1000 cans of food spilling all over, just 50, or whatever amount. The items or food HAVE to be able to fit in that designated space (shelf, cupboard, plastic bin), if not, it's time to use it up by X time or get rid of something. I'm using this method for clothes, decorations, books, and the kids' toys because I struggle to organize and clean and this provides a concrete framework. I hope you can find what works best for you and keep healing as well

I had a neighbor I met while doing a yard sale at my house - she was funny and upbeat. Then a few weeks later she asked me to help with her yard sale. Yup you guessed -major hoarder. She had a garage filled with stuff that she found in trash bins! and she thought she could sell this! Wow - it was my first experience with a hoarding personality and I was shocked at how she simply couldn't see 'trash'. Would you believe it took me about 3 days to finally throw up my hands and say 'sorry I can't do this anymore'. And even more weird was that this very nice funny upbeat woman ran a cleaning service-

I tried twice to help m mother get rid of 4 bedrooms of clothes. The first time she got rid of 2 pants. Second time: NOTHING went out the door. It's incredibe how every little item is SO vitally important to them. Pure insanity! PLUS I never even got a thank you for trying to help out!

Exactly what i was thinking Amy...

You're😂

I felt he was using her for storage.

Totally agree with you

She seems to have low self esteem if she puts up with his lack of respect and genuine love. Sad

Yeah, I think he is a scum bag too.

You're 100% right about Greg. His 'I did this for you" comment?!🙄... I actually rolled my eyes & thought RUN!!...He comes across as a bit of a chauvinist!

Yes he is, I only wish he were here in America more specifically NJ, if he could help my friend a compulsive hoarder who has had so may therapists with no success then I would somehow be recommend him to be canonized after he dies of course, even if he's an atheist or a non Catholic.

Same I like how they do 6 weeks of therapy before bringing in the decluttering unlike the American one where they do a quick counseling session as they are cleaning out the heard which is traumatic for the hoarder and they dont want to get rid of anything

I agree. There's much more respect shown to those who are de-cluttering. And to have the homes cleaned by the people themselves is great - but the best thing is how they are so much happier! Hmm...I wonder if the process this program takes to find "de-clutterers" is different from the American program?

IM DOCTOR ROBIN ZASIO A LISCENSCED CLINCIAL THERPIST SPICECIALZIG IN HOAIRDNG AND HOARDING BEHAVROUIR

As someone who is messy despite working on it, I watch such shows to learn for myself. Unfortunately, the American version is more like exploitation than giving insights to this illness and some useful tips.

I’m in the US and I can’t watch Hoarders. It just seems so traumatic for the people. I much prefer the British programs in this genre. There’s much more kindness, respect, and concern shown to these people who genuinely need help.

I don’t think he’s changed. I think he’s still trying to avoid admitting he has a problem. He’s still saying Judith was the reason he cleared up, so I doubt he’s done this because he believes he needs help. It seems like he hoards Judith too.

@Manecki Neckbeard... This is a really well thought-out, understanding and lovely comment. Had to be said 😊

@@acalledboboya7257 Aww, thank you so very much! That means SO much to hear! ♥️

Are all these episodes from England

Gotta start somewhere👍

I LOVE that idea!

I have OCD and these episodes are like my drug, I use them to fuel my cleaning obsession. Not sure how healthy that is but hey, I’m not bored in lockdown!

@@gianninai3349 so how they help u with your obbesion

Some years back my mother married a hoarder who continually moved everything, including dogs into her neat and tidy house; The marriage didn't last and she threw him out, then divorced him. He was not a nice person either.

@@gillianbrookwell1678 very sad 😭

Love is blind I guess? lol

Maybe cuz she landed a cub!

@@maureentaylor4939 u know india dharavi slum I live there

I've ALWAYS washed every can/bag of chips..washed all veggies and meat....always since you never know HOW many people have been 'touching' you food..........

03/08/2021 @Joyce Wright I hear that!!🤓 Also, I'm pushing 63+ and I don't wanna leave a bunch of stuff for my adult children & grandchild to deal with ... only lotsa 💲💲💲. 🤣👊

You can't take it with you

@@roserollins9800 No but I can leave it to others.

@@joycewright5386 you'd be surprised! Most younger people don't want your stuff! I'm 70 and I've been getting rid of stuff so that my son doesn't have to. He doesn't want what meant so much to me and my granddaughter hasn't been raised to collect. It will be tossed when I pass so I'll save him the hassle.

@@joycewright5386 most of the younger generation doesn’t want their parents “stuff”. I have cleaned out houses of people who died, and their children paid me to literally throw away their parents “treasures “. Don’t do that to your family.

For sure!

Yes! They are so talented and tough as nails

devilmecare Humor me ? What was / is the operative word ? ✌️🇺🇸

My ex-husband was/is the same way. Took years to get it back to normal.

@@selfesteem3447 apparently the past tense of 'to have'.

@@selfesteem3447 Read it again and you’ll know.

Good for you!

They didn't show the 'bedrooms '....interesting 🤔

Hopefully she gets rid of the extra boxes. She may very do that. Her grandchildren seemed to enjoy it so much. Her house was still full...but in a good way. Now she can display the nice things she has.

Don't forget her hoard is sitting waiting patiently for her in a warehouse! Those mushy peas could be back after Xmas!!!!

@@jessicaellina3878 As long as she uses them BEFORE the "best before" date LOL!!

@@peggypeggy4137 Haha!! With her cast iron stomach botulism doesn,t stand a chance!!!!

I agree. No one will ever know unless they’ve lived it. This is a true illness and if you’re in that type of household growing up it’s very difficult.

I've never been in such a terrific situation, it must be really painful and I'm really sorry you are going through this, I hope everything gets better as soon as possible.

@@toffiyarts what is a hoarder

I agree. I recently realized that my father is a hoarder, but I didn't notice it as much growing up because my mother absolutely refused to let him hoard. She would throw his things out, make him limit his hoarding to a certain area...on the one hand, she has control of the house, on the other hand, it's quite sad because you can see how much getting rid of things hurts him. Only today, I asked him why he hasn't thrown out my old kiddie pool (that I used to play in, so is over 25 years old) that is currently full of old sand that has hardened into concrete and is actively growing mold. His response: Because I filled it with sand. Me:...*gives up*

@@harshitkapoor8783 A hoarder is someone who collects things that are of little to no value and refuses to discard them due to a perceived need to retain or save them. It’s an illness and it ruins your life unless you can seek treatment quickly.

Antiques. Come on the majority of the stuff, especially in the shed, is junk. Like the carpet. You cld never sell that. It is destroyed. The guy is entitled and condescending. What was his comment to the organizing ladies, "I'm an antique dealer, your the helpers." Wld have been adios for me. Something nasty about that smirk of his as well. Big Yuk.

Most of the stuff in that shed needs to be chucked out it’s junk if it had any real value or if he had spent a heap of money on it it wouldn’t be in the shed like that.

Unprovable? Did you mean"immobile?"

❤

@@dbentleyto95 ❤

That’s because you have developed PTSD. Being the child of a hoarder, then having anything that triggers that actual trauma, can bring back feelings of neglect, abandonment, inferiority, and intense shame. I remember my mom having a confrontational moment about it once and she said, “I just like STUFF, okay?!?” And I never felt less important to her... that her stuff drove us out of the house, her stuff took the place of us in her life.

@@kamihayes5147 So sorry you had to go through that experience. Sometimes the families we were given aren't good for us. But somehow some of us learn from it anyway and grow to give what we needed to ourselves. Hope you made your life great for yourself.

@happy face Thank You I have been through lots of therapy, still struggle occasionally but I’m keep my home a hoard free zone and that helps my children.

Not with bugs crawling all over it. There's no telling how much of it is expired. Excuse me while I barf.

No way.

It’s a survival mechanism she couldn’t overcome. When you’re in that mindset, you only are concerned with yourself. I hope she’s doing well now and can donate to/help needy people.

@@devilmecare - Obviously before it gets to that state..

Idk about judging the "sins" of others. It is a very sad yet understandable situation

Lonely older woman, single younger man with too much stuff and nowhere to put it. He saw her coming a mile off.

She deserves better

@@eek1759 Even for an "older woman" she's HAWT! The whole episode I was like; why does she even put up with him. I'm certain she has options.

@@brandondaniels2504 I agree, shes bad af

What was his loss in life that made him take over this woman's life. He's what I'd call a freeloader!

Where I live bugs everywhere also lots of mosquitos flies etc

That bug spray is worse for you than the bugs, spraying it in a kitchen (!!!) is not a good solution

Whats her age got to do with it.

@@Areyousayingidontknowmyname I guess that it is likely that he manipulated her into believing that he is a catch and she couldn't do better because he is younger.

Hey girl, it's fine... It's not your burden to carry

Hi there.. how are you doing? Hope you are fine and staying safe??

Being an enabler for someone who has an addiction is such a complex thing. People with addiction can be master manipulators to get what they want. Hoarding enablers are no different than people who have drug and alcohol problems with enablers. I would have to say though, most enablers have passive personalities and don’t like confrontation. They’d rather let things be instead of getting into a fight. In a lot of these shows I hear people say, “when my spouse was alive my hoarding/shopping was in check” or “I wasn’t allowed to bring this stuff in the house,” so when that non-passive partner dies the disorder explodes. Not having someone in your life to check your behavior let’s the disorder run amuck. And even when you do have someone in your life telling you it’s a problem, sometimes the disorder is so bad, it doesn’t matter. So I don’t judge the enablers too harshly because most of their personalities just aren’t built to resist. Hoarding disorder is a mental condition that needs professional therapy to manage. A person’s family and friends typically aren’t equipped to handle it. The one thing I can say is now that hoarder disorder has become recognized as its own mental disorder means more awareness and assistance for the person with the disorder and their family.

Not very sad 😅

Hi there.. how are you doing? Hope you are fine and staying safe??

A mess is different from being flat out dirty. This woman has bugs living in her food. Mess is fine….this is not mess.

Men have girlfriends/wives 30 years younger than themselves and nobody bats an eye. Btw, she’d be better off alone than to be shackled to that.

I think he's worn her down over the years and broken her a bit.

You must have missed his dirty big bald patch that he’s trying to comb over. At first I thought he was way younger but I’m assuming he’s late 40’s

@@siouxd799 , he's probably 40s, but she looks 70s!

Lmao does he??? Lol i dont see it

Me... if l want to buy something new e.g shoes.. l will always throw an old pair out... can,t stand loads of " stuff" ... and yes, it,s something you realise as you get older.. wouldn,t want my family to be digging through mountains of old rubbish when l,m gone....

Right!!! And that's her house!!

@@Ma_Pooh I know, right. I hope she isn't as desperate as she seems.She is not unattractive!

@@watershedbarbie9685 I agree with you 100% :)

Because she's dating a much younger guy. Shes at an age where its tough for a woman to find a guy unless the man is a trash no other women wants

He appears to be her "toy boy"

Preppers rotate their food stash to ensure it’s still viable. She’s just holding onto it, regardless of whether or not it’s still edible.

@@DreamingCatStudio exactly! 'rotating' is a much simpler term to describe it

I bought 57 cans of tuna as well as many other things because of covid, had to organize my pantry and only found a few tins that were out dated that i had. You can safely eat canned food that is less than 10 years old. But a few months ago I found a guy on YT that makes videos about eating really, really, really old canned food! 😂 Here is a link to the guy who eats outdated food ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-8k162i_8RE4.html

@@DreamingCatStudio yeah I thought is awesome some rusty and bent cans...those should be the first to go .

@@annetoronto5474 so your the reason the shelfs were so empty. Haha just kidding you can keep your tuna I dont like it. So interested in watching the link you posted!

I live in india dharavi slum

I bet she even bought most of that stuff for him

I was wondering if it's her voice. I thought so.

Amazing comment. Kudos!

Lol!

Join the movement. I have been a minimalist for three years- this life is liberating. I have time to enjoy life with less stuff.

Yep

Those can be just as nuts though, I'm happy fluctuating somewhere in the middle

It’s the best.

Same here!!!

not to talk about the huge waste of food that could have feed many many people.

Where I live lot of mosquitos flies etc

@@harshitkapoor8783 Do you live in hot climate? Put rice, dal and spices in containers with lids. I wish you the best.

@sueldrsyluvsutube It's tough, I have to admit, even though I love my mom. I would often come home from school to find that she'd gone through my belongings like a cyclone, throwing away things that had tremendous sentimental value to me, but which to her were all just "junk" and "clutter." She has mellowed a bit with age, though. Now that I'm an adult, she's finally stopped trying to find ways to sneak into my house to clean. But, at one point, many years ago, she used the spare key I'd given her (for emergencies) to come in and "clean up"...which actually meant that she donated a huge amount of my & my husband's possessions, as well as huge amounts of my kids' toys & clothes (which I was either saving for hand-me-downs or which had sentimental value) to charity. She gave away 14 large trash bags of our stuff- including sentimental items I'd saved from my beloved deceased father-in-law- before I came home and stopped it! Needless to say, she no longer has a spare key. It sucks to think that I can't trust my own mother in my house, but I've learned my lesson! I know it's a compulsive thing for her that's beyond her control, so I try not to blame her...but that still doesn't mean I ever want her in my house whilst I'm away ever again. In some ways, I'd honestly say that it's almost as difficult as living with a hoarder: there's the same total lack of respect for the boundaries, property & space of others. And the same compulsive nature: my mom gets full-on panic attacks when she's not able to clean...just like hoarders get when they're forced to clean.

hate to say - but that story and the way she told was a bit 'stagey'. I think she obviously really does have food scarcity issues but 'mushy peas' is just the top layer - what she can easily identify as probable reason. But sadly I think Pauline has some childhood abuse history - hence her enormous size. jus saying

@@batterbury4477 I starved as a child among my 6 siblings and now I'm overweight and tendencies to hoard food so it's not like you know the behinds of her story for sure

I'm sorry.... Ummmm maybe you can contact this Channel and tell your story to them? Who knows they can help you and put you in the next episode....

Can someone help you? Maybe call a church for help?

I see that 👀😖

Amazing that he has stayed. Living with a hoarder would be awful.