My Husband Chooses His Family Over Me

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There are several possible reasons that your husband may be choosing his family over you and it may not always be the worst-case scenario. It's possible that there are some dynamics in your relationship that are causing your husband to choose his family over you. In this video, I share some of those things.
===VIDEO CHAPTERS===
00:00 Why is your husband choosing his family over you?
01:47 #1 He feels guilty
02:51 #2 He wants to keep the peace
03:53 #3 You are not making an effort
05:32 What can you do to fix this?
05:37 Communication
06:07 You're a team
06:52 Self Reflection
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Опубликовано:

31 май 2024

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Комментарии : 73

@bbwjunkie8321 2 года назад

Part of why I broke things off. I can't deal with a man child that gets railroaded by his family whenever they want him available. I will never tell a man what to do. However, I will deal with him accordingly after his decisions have been made.

@TheMAMAB123 2 года назад

I agree...You can't raise a man child.

@mariastewart9861 Год назад

No one should accept being married to a man child

@nid684 2 года назад

Feels like one sided advise. Husband and wife should always keep each other a priority over anyone else.

@nana_untamed Год назад

I haven't even heard what he said but I had a feeling it would've been one sided like most men here giving advice on youtube just feel like women need to be chained up next to the husband might as well with this advice my husband always told me he chooses his family over me like cousins and brothers we have 5 kids I'm trying I really. Him and his cousin and brothers talk everyday on call of duty playing video games meanwhile I'm in the back just waiting for him to stop so I can spend time with him but then he gets on his phone us spending time to him is me being there while he does what his little heart desires mind you he let his family abuse me mentally and emotionally bullying me .

@garzaof6 Год назад

Exactly! The man can’t please both!

@bobbysgirl8365 9 месяцев назад

Shite advice agreed the guy in this video seems effeminate and has eunuch traits.

@gloria7844 Год назад

This doesn't help when he doesn't defend me against his family. Earlier in our marriage, I always went to visit them and spend time with them, but they never accepted me. They always teased me and made fun of me in front of him. His mom is passive-aggressive, and she treats me badly to this day. We've been married 30 years!! And yet, he still can't stand up to her and tell her to stop treating me like that. I'm at the end of my rope here. I feel like telling him to go.

@beautyqueen255 Год назад

Omg 30 years?! How are you handling it for so long? I'm in a similar situation as yours and iv been married for 15 years. I always knew he used to plan stuff with his mom n family, also knew that he hide things from me after planning with them but recently I found out some things and when I asked him he straight up lied to me. I knew he was lying and I kept asking more questions and he continued to lie. So much lies. He can leave!

@Tinas_space 6 месяцев назад

Omg! Same case here..his sisters..his mom sometimes they’ll say some stuff when he’s not around so it’s even harder to convince him…but still engaged…I don’t know how this will go…

@livelearnlove9086 2 года назад

I say get rid of them like I did and find someone who is new who will make u a priority. I did. He told me his family always comes first not me.

@mariastewart9861 Год назад

Good move! And at least he let you know and made it clear, as hard as that is to hear. What’s harder is he’s making all the right noises but then goes behind the wife’s back and continuous the enmeshment on the sly

@kpadium Год назад

If he appeases his mother at the wife’s expense that is totally wrong

@librarose319 Год назад

I tried to make an effort and be apart of his main family and all I got was back handed compliments and shady comments. His sister is a jealous person she's a trouble maker and just loud.

@patfunderburke3418 Год назад

After listening to this video it occurred to me that, at the heart of this relationship dynamic, is a husband is choosing his parents and family over his wife. You see that when he is choosing the family over his spouse, he is choosing what is best for him, but not what is best for his marriage. So, making excuses for choosing himself and his family, over the relationship with his spouse, is a selfish act. Whether he is using any of the following means mentioned in the video, such as rationalizing, using avoidance, or placating to keep the peace, or placing blame on his wife, he’s saying two things, one is that he’s the most important person in his life, and two, that he doesn’t need to change his behavior.

@martidiamond7109 Год назад

Exactly. How do you manage? 🙏♥️

@origamiguy2012 10 месяцев назад

How do you make someone a priority when you are not the priority when it matters to you and you get pushed aside when it matters to you but do not want to end it.

@charlenecolyn5395 2 года назад

My husband scream at me when I talk about his family

@karenkertesz7907 2 года назад

Same.

@n.m6249 Год назад

I can relate, my boyfriend sees no fault in his parents and the way they treat me

@sueeaker3692 2 года назад

I've always thought that when a man marries a woman, his mother lets him go. I've been married for twenty years and just now divorcing because of this problem. I always did let his mother come first even giving up my career and moving to the state she lives. I recently gave up when he moved out to caretake his mother without letting me know, leaving me in a very unfortunate position. The mother refuses to let her son go and grow up and my husband goes along with his mother. it's very unhealthy. He has an older brother who lives out of state, has been married for over thirty years. He doesn't have he same problem my husband has with his mother.

@HappilyCommitted 2 года назад

This sounds very frustrating Sue. You made the right choice and now you can focus on yourself again and your happiness.

@winnieamar9368 11 месяцев назад

OMG! I am in the same situation. It's so frustrating. I feel you! It sounds like your mother in law is a narcissist. I figured out mine is,just two days back. I'm also in the process of separation. The whole situation sucks.

@hnsfamily 2 года назад

anyone asking questions in this post, let me give u an answer,....ask GOD for help , he will rescue u.

@ambo7391 2 года назад

Thank you ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

@hummingbird8103 3 года назад

What if a husband is a golden child of a narcissist parent who has already isolated a wife from her own family and he wants to control wife by creating such dynamics...

@sylviegoncalves 3 года назад

I am in the same situation. I appreciate his point of view, but I don't believe that he is giving the view of the wife enough support.

@lace1245 3 года назад

Same situation here. She’s also like the mother on the movie “monster in law” where she provokes me and plays victim when I don’t want to be around her. My husband lets her win every time. An example: hes 43. His mother asked him to spend the night on Christmas Eve and he got furious with me when I told him it isn’t normal. Ignored me for weeks.

@momdadcuisine8041 2 года назад

Better separate husband from his family can live better life. Little troubles will come try to manage in smooth

@martidiamond7109 Год назад

My husband and in laws expect from me (us), to have an extended lunch every single Sunday, spend every single holiday together, everybody's birthday, every single occasion for anything... And if I want to spend time with my blood family, there is always an issue... Always a problem...

@mariamsmoments 3 года назад

My husband doesn't know how to speak up to his family concerning me. They treat me like I dnt exist, when I tell him sometimes to speak up, he just says I should overlook it. He doesn't feel guilty abt nt spending time with me...bcos hes in a different country so doesn't apply here. At this point I just do what I can....if they come through so b it....if nt it's also cool

@ronniebutler3635 2 года назад

This is me, my husband is cold but will say lovely things to his family, even though he is grouchy.

@memelc5655 4 месяца назад

My husband has never been able to say no to their requests. He fears their rejection

@n.m6249 Год назад

Great advice but my boyfriend hates this topic like hell

@bobbysgirl8365 9 месяцев назад

Divorce divorce divorce or have many secret affairs its what these eunuch men deserve. If your husband doesn't defend you treat him like the eunuch he is.

@HVS.11.11 Год назад

Trauma!…… the reason he picks his family over you is trauma! In most cases I’ve seen (men I’ve dated😅) the men had horrible relationships with their parents. If your bf is triggered by you saying let’s go to therapy as a family or let’s sit down with a family counselor…. He’s not ready to be in a relationship. He’s unwilling to identify the issue because he’s fine with how things are, you’re the problem for noticing the issue. This issue usually has nothing to do with you, you can’t fix it nor can you get him to see the problem. Self reflection is always great but the common denominator in the issue with priorities or respect in family dynamics is usually the partner who refuses to address issues with the family or just plain and simple your partner doesn’t know how to handle these situations diplomatically.

@tayyabazaid9026 3 года назад

Your videos are very helpful and correct in guiding and diagnosing the core issues and solving them. Thank you for making these videos, most if the couples are going through immense difficulties and whole society is falling apart.

@HappilyCommitted 3 года назад

I'm glad the videos were helpful for you, Tayyaba. Thank you for watching. Coach Adrian

@manasareddy9617 3 года назад

@@HappilyCommitted hi i want your reply to my comment plz

@promdekitchen386 Год назад

I just found your channel today. Married, committed and faithful wife for 29 years. My husband and I were in a rough patch. Tried to talk about what’s hurting my feelings but I just realized I am being selfish. He just lost his youngest brother and he’s been distant with me and noticed that he pay a lot of attention to his family. I felt left out but after watching this video, I realized I was at fault for not totally understanding his side that causes him to act the way he act. Thank you so much for this video.

@GinAmber Год назад

Self reflection sentence hit me hard… so true !!!

@flacae6771 3 года назад

If something bad happened between us then his family didn’t know and he kept us a secret n lied to his family about it that his own mom asked him to choose between us. It’s hard to actually know how to handle this situation. And he is close to his family n i have been there for 8 yrs should I walk away or not.

@sekiannkitsune4948 3 года назад

You shouldn't make that decision unless you are certain you want to walk out. If he puts himself in a situation where he has to choose, then leave the burden of this choice to him and don't try to influence him(many people think that convincing someone they are making a mistake will help their case, it usually makes things worse). Coexisting with the inlaws or future inlaws doesn't happen overnight. If his mom doesn't like you, you can ask her directly what worries her o that you can reassure her on her concerns.

@aliyahcasseynicolas5309 3 года назад

Since the strt of our marriage my husband is the one who provides for his parents and my sister in law they ruined my family because of money. We have three kids and my husband mother never been a grandmother to my kids his mother never been a good mother in law to me no matter how much money I share they always want more

@zerosta001 9 месяцев назад

How about a husband who’s not only providing for his family but two more families of his relatives also, now imagine how much left he has for the wife and the kids.. this happened a lot in India and Sri Lanka

@mook1998 2 года назад

He has 1 kid with me and he still want to live with his mom what should I do

@sumand1143 2 года назад

Leave him ... he will never change

@mariastewart9861 Год назад

Leave!

@MarriageAbroad 10 месяцев назад

This entire video I thought "I don't care about his reasons". Stop doing it! It's justifying poor behavior then blaming the wife. His actions area his own.

@swarajshrma7580 2 года назад

So damn true

@payalmalik7838 2 года назад

How to except that put everything a side when everytime his mother always says that I will make my son to get married again in front me how should understand that point

@megharajpoot1447 2 года назад

Dude You made me think...

@keifer7813 9 месяцев назад

If my wife and my mum ever argued about something, I would try to see who is right. But at the end of the day, if they were both hanging off a cliff, and I could only save one - I'm saving my mum 100%

@veeg.6629 4 месяца назад

I hope u have beautiful kids with your mom.

@codemeister3 3 года назад

Don't make him choose...

@LolaBugzy85 2 года назад

Yep. I told him I will make things easy for him because at the end of the day he will choose his family over me. He doesnt care to know how my folks are or people in my side of family. I let him be with them. I dnt tell him what's going on in my family. He deals with his own family and I deal with mine.

@fy4729 2 года назад

It’s not about choosing. It’s about valuing both equally and coming to a compromise where everyone can be happy. If a man neglects one side, it’s his fault for being incapable.

@codemeister3 2 года назад

A relationship should have ZERO expectations. Let him be him. If you don't like him you should have thought about the vetting process for getting married...

@codemeister3 2 года назад

@@fy4729 and what makes you think certain people in his family (wife) deserve a certain amount of his attention? Your wife is PART of your family. You can't spend an equal amount on whining family members. We spend time with who we like (not love, a completely separate thing) and what about his cousins, siblings, etc. I'm sure he spends more time with his wife than any of them.

@aditibisht22 2 года назад

@@codemeister3 bro unless you are an indian( since they all are mama's bois) you should know that siblings, parents are extended family. Wife and children are the main family and you chose them the second you got married to her.

@JOVI08 Год назад

Or maybe the wife is just very toxic hence he is choosing his family. This story is not elaborated well.

@karenkertesz7907 2 года назад

What if your spouse’s family don’t understand I work Monday to Sunday as an licensed esthetician I work 7 days a week I don’t even have time to see my own family 🥲