My husband got another woman pregnant! Should I forgive him? | Reddit Stories 

Not only is it super disrespectful to cheat on your pregnant partner but it’s also super dangerous for the baby. The stress alone can cause serious complications but getting an STI while pregnant can cause so many serious health issues to the baby. It’s just appalling to do that to the person grown a whole human that’s half of your dna.

Always kills me to hear men trying to figure out pregnancy related things. 48weeks?! 80?! We're not elephants 😂😂

My thing is not only did he cheat on her but he has such a lack of respect for her that he did not even protect himself but think about what could have happened if he gave something to her or gave something to himself and how that would affect his family. My answer would be to divorce because if she takes him back he's most likely going to do it again.

Update for the first story: I had been leaving little updates in this post but I thought I would (finally!) do one big update post in its own post. I think I’m finally getting better. I’m still sad. I still hurt. There are things that will take a really long time to get over. But in the time I’ve spent away from him I’ve come to value my freedom and myself as a person. He didn’t come to see me in the hospital even once. He hasn’t come to see our baby even once. We had a big fight shortly before I went into the hospital (over his infidelity) and if he didn’t want to see me that’s his business, but not coming to see the baby we fought so hard for is… something else entirely. But it was a sign for me that I can do this. We can do this. I can do better for my daughter and for myself. I have a lawyer now and I’m moving forward with divorce proceedings. I know I will be okay; I don’t have to rely on him for anything. I’m sad about how all of this happened. I wish it didn’t happen. But I also know now that I can have a whole life beyond this, you know? (also-our baby was born a little more than six weeks early and is ten days old now. She is still in the NICU just getting a little bit stronger but she’s doing amazing and should be home by the end of this month! I can’t wait to really start enjoying motherhood.)

The other question is what does this say about his ability to be a parent since he's so willing to walk away from his other child? How does she know he won't walk away from hers and cheat again?

Oh OP... please get out he does not have your best interests at heart. 4 weeks in the hospital and ZERO visits!?! That is completely unacceptable.

Say it boys!!! "DEEEE-VORCE...DEEEE-VORCE"...my God girl...Runnnnn!!

My ex husband was 27 and I was 18 when we started dating. We married when I 19. He groomed me and was a major narcissist. He did the whole love bomb, gaslighting, controlling, and manipulation. 16 years of marriage later, I’m out, but not before I developed PTSD, severe anxiety, depression, and fibromyalgia. 2 years post divorce, I’m dating a guy that is 15 years older than me who went through a narcissistic marriage as well. We were friends for 9 years before dating and he’s an amazing person. Age gap relationships in your teens and early 20’s vs 30’s and later is night and day different. Not even close to the same thing.

While in cases of the third story, I feel the worst of the kid. They are completely innocent, and it's not like the 3 year old will understand why her 'father' is just suddenly out of her life.

Tinfoil hat moment... 1st story, I think OPs husband has a history and pattern of cheating, he did the entire time, and probably only brought up the affair in the first place because of the other woman initially being pregnant, especially since it was someone OP had already met before and there was a chance of crossing paths and finding things out. I think he also played on her self esteem and vulnerability when it came to her fertility and he kept her distracted and occupied with the pregnancy so that she couldn't pick up on clues and red flags. I hope she has supportive family that can help her and hope she can eventually get divorced.

In the eye color story, even with the kid not being his, this isn't the way to figure it out. Eye color being a mendelian recessive trait was let go years ago. Eye color inheritance is recognized as a polygenic trait, meaning it is controlled by the interactions of several genes. It isn't so simple as parent's eye color. All it would haven taken for them to figure this out is a quick look at Wiki, so I don't know what kind of research they really did. Unless, Tin Foil Hat Moment: Maybe OP found out about the cheating and used this as a way to inform his friend without having to say it.

On story 3: I think paternity tests should be normalized. My husband and I have been together six years with no history of infidelity, but I’ve offered a paternity test for each of our three children. He never felt the need for one, but it’s not uncommon for people to have trust issues and baggage from prior relationships, and allowing your partner to verify their reality with facts (as long as it’s not toxic and controlling) is essential to their healing. In the early days of our relationship, I needed that and he always calmly answered my questions until I was satisfied (I left an abusive marriage before we were together and was gaslighted a lot). A paternity test is the same thing, and I don’t think asking for one should be equated to an accusation. Ladies, put the option on the table if you’re comfortable with it and put his mind at ease so he can focus on you and the baby without that burden.

Y’all should do an only wholesome Reddit stories episode 😅

We lost my sister at around 26 weeks, this woman is very lucky to keep her miracle baby, despite all the bad luck she’s been going through 😔

I had a disagreement with my husband on the topic of whether you would still love and look after the kid if you found out they weren't bio yours (because of a story like this but the kid was 5yo and his now ex wife threatened to leave with the kid when he confronted her and he said fine go, and cut them off cold turkey). My husband is straight up nope, he wouldn't want anything to do with the kid. Personally I would be the opposite, I would really struggle to let go of the kid, like I raised that kid for 5 yrs (or 3 in this story), that's my baby, IDC no one's tasking my baby from me. Hell I'd divorce and take full custody. Stories like this make me view men differently, including my husband, like that is really really cold to just bail on the kid. I get bailing on the nasty bish that cheated on you, but I feel like you should be really gentle on the kids in this situation, it's not their fault, you're their dadda, the negative impact on them, the abandonment issues you're inflicting on them from just bailing. IDK, it actually gives me the ick TBH that men can just switch off their love for a child just like that, just because they find out their child isn't biologically theirs.

I’m glad the wife clarified to him that she was mad at herself, not mad at him. And that it came from sadness for him & her realizing just how much the cheating impacted him. I think her being so mad at herself when he’s upset is a good sign that she wouldn’t want to do something to cause him that level of pain again. I love that they were able to talk about it and express where they each were coming from & go through with a solution.

Not forgiving the cheating mom - the fact that a father had to look at a sleeping child to find out their eye color showed that he was not that involved in raising the kid. Just a night babysitter. Mom is a BIG AH

Y'all , don't overwork yourselves. You're allowed breaks ,🧡 esp you , Riley. Friggid doing 10 hour episodes and editing.

All the cougars in the chat are ready to jump Riley. Hahaha 😂

If a woman cheats at any point, and then gets pregnant, she needs to do the test to put his mind at ease. She caused the doubts.

If I cheated on my husband and he needed a paternity test to feel secure, I would do it. I'm sure her feelings were hurt, but she hurt him so badly when she cheated, and frankly, a lot of people wouldn't have even tried to work it out with her.

About the 2nd story: this is why I don't thonki could stay with a cheater. I could never fully get over it and trust them. This guy THOUGHT he was over it, but he isn't. He would not be asking for a paternity test if he was. I cannot fault him though. I'm glad in the end she agreed to it.

Nah y’all are right. I’m a nurses aide and a student RN. We have our clinical skills exam on infidelity coming up 😮‍💨

To be honest there are so many great reasons to have paternity tests done at the hospital. Shoot, test the mom is the mom as well. How many babies have been switched or lost/stolen at the hospital. I understand there might be risks of telling them there… mail the results. Pretty sure that’s what they do anyways. It’s not an instant test EDIT: I also wanted to add that when my last was born, there was a lib blood sugar issue with how fast the birth was. My husband did not let that baby leave his eye sight. I was 1000000000% find starting recovery knowing eyes were on my/our baby

NICU (Neonatal intensive care unit). I had two premies (30-34weeks)- the whole experience was awful. Especially during Covid restrictions. Also a side note, a lot of abuse doesn’t start until pregnancy. And the NICU adds a lot of stress to an already fucked up relationship. OP of S1 needs to run. 🏃

Me and my boyfriend are 11 years apart. He was 30 and I was 41 when we met. We've been together for 5 years now. I was on the fence dating him at first but it's been working ever since. He's actually more emotional mature then guys I've dated that were my age or older.

It’s NEVER a good idea to walk away from your child. No matter the circumstances, for another child just because of relationship status.

As a daily listener and an infertility patient, I always get so sucked into these. 😂 Makes the roller coaster of my treatments feel so mundane in comparison. ❤

Story 1 - divorce and relationship turmoil while pregnant is terrible timing.

The love bombing and no follow through is why I found out he was cheating again. I’ve been faithful the last 18months that he’s been on the couch, but he just repeated old habits. That separation helped me and my feelings when I finally had to end things.

It depends on the state or maybe this is old information but if you’re on the birth certificate (even if you’re not genetically the father) by law you’re their parent. If you find out you’re not the father later, you might still be legally obligated to pay child support.

For the husband asking for a paternity test, from his wife who had cheated before, has every right to ask for one. And the wife, has no one to blame but herself.

The story about the friends daughter eye color is more complicated than that though as children’s eyes colors can change as they get older, getting lighter or darker over time. I know two people where one went from black hair to blonde and the other blonde hair to brown from childhood to adulthood

Reilly....I think it's 80 weeks to be pregnant...me 😳😂

So funny when people say they’re not trying to get pregnant, but also are not using any kind of protection. If you’re not actively preventing a pregnancy, you are bound to get pregnant.

He had a 6 week affair and she already knew she was pregnant. She would’ve had to get pregnant the first time; it’s possible but not common. Either he’s lying and it was a longer affair or the baby wasn’t his.

Rileys train of thought

My ex was a healthcare worker and CHEATED! They trauma bonded and they worked some shifts together. He was not worth it

Divorce! Why prolong the agony? That man will definitely cheat again. I know being a single mom will not going to be easy, but I think it's better to start the healing as soon as possible.

AITAH for being disappointed that you did not yell ”SPILL THAT TEA!!!” before the stories. I’ve gotten into a habit of yelling spill that tea while I’m at work with my headphones on and I get weird looks because nobody knows why I’m screaming that.

He said 80 weeks!! At 39 weeks I was so done! I can’t imagine 80😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Riley has become my favorite part of your videos now

Since she cheated in the past she must prove it to him that she is honest now….it is his right after her ever cheating anytime. His trust doesn’t need to be 100% ever ever again. If she is honest and cares about her husband’s feelings….It is her that destroyed trust forever!!!!!

38-40 weeks is normal for a first pregnancy.

Hey, i was 3 months early too! 😊 My grandparents as well as my husband and I are 18 years apart. We met when I was 26. He's super supportive of me and my dad/him have a great relationship.

A dad can always sneak and get some baby saliva without moms knowing and send it off to 23 and me and also send in his own to the same place…..mom never has to know. Dads can look online a few weeks later and know instantly if the baby shares half his DNA or not!

On your last story... I've been through this.. Raised the child for 3 years.. Delt with the drama from her mother. So for my own piece of mind... I had to walk away..

My sister has brown eyes, my mom has blue and my dad has green. Sisters brown eyes shouldnt be possible apparently so my dad questioned my mom about that and was suspicious. Well, when my first halfsibling was born (same dad, different mom) it happened again, my stepmom has blue eyes and my sibling has brown eyes. When my mom heard she just giggled and went like: "must be the same mailman" 😂😂. I have memory about my stepmom hearing about the mailman thing mom said and she just lost it laughting 😂 gotta love them both.

The last story, my brother has blue eyes while both of his parents have brown eyes, but he is a carbon copy of his father. The eye color thing is not always accurate. (We're all figuring that he gets his eye color from my grandfather {mom's dad} because he had blue eyes.)

3:55 should be a GIF 😂

Years ago my former supervisors 2nd husband was cheating on her and the mistress got pregnant. She got rid of the 2nd husband after being married for so long. I felt so bad because she did a lot for him. They had 2 young kids and her son from the first marriage.

the tea was served hot today!

The first story m: he didn't even see her omand baby once in four weeks at hospital! Who does that? My baby spent three weeks in hospital after birth and I was released after four days, I csnt imagine going to my baby by myself, i can't imagine my husband just nit wanting to see our baby. From day one he was just going from me to her, he went to hold her when i wasn't able to yet, so she wouldn't feel alone, seeing her every day. The guy from that story simply doesn't care at all about his baby, simmilar like he didn't care to abandon his child from affair if she would decide to keep it.

The eye story is upsetting. I have 4 kids with one partner. I have hazel eyes, my ex has green. 3 of our kids have a mix of our eyes, some more green than others, and one has blue. That kid is also the spitting image of their dad, minus the eye color and hair color. That guy was a douche to his friend, and destroyed that poor guy for no reason.

Professions Most Likely to Cheat Sales - 14.5% Teacher, training, and education - 13.7% Healthcare - 12.5% Transport and logistics - 9.8% Hospitality and events management - 7.7% Engineering and manufacturing - 6.6% Property and construction - 5.5% Accountancy, banking and finance - 5.4% I'm in Australia and this is what I found. My job isn't even listed. I'm such a dud. 😛

The last story, she only told the truth because she got caught. She was comfortable lying for years. Yupp, the break up was 100% warranted. She's for the streets.

In a healthy and emotionally mature relationship forgiveness is the sum of a process in which the couple has gone through, whether that's in therapy or individually, but the result is the decision to forgive or not. If forgiveness is given it's not healthy to cotinously bring up the situation that led to the problem because the decision was already made and constantly bringing up said problem reflects that in fact the work as a couple wasn't done correctly and it has not been forgiven. When dealing with my patients in therapy 9 out of 10 times the couple decided to continue the relationship when there was no work done, therefore no growth, prior to forgiving the wrongdoing, In fact, it's common for there to not even be a discussion where the word forgiveness is mentioned and this is what leads to the problem constantly being brought up but with resentment, frustration, anger, etc., as a result, the problem is continuously growing, What I always tell my patients is that forgiveness is to look forward, as in the relationship is continuing, if you constantly look backward (bringing up the problem and holding it against your partner) then you haven't forgiven.

Once a seal is broken it is forever broken. If she didn't want him to doubt her fidelity then she should not have been an infidel; now she is and she just has to deal with HER facts. The very fact that he forgave her at all is her MAX grace. Paternity test ALL the kids, get a postnuptial agreement ASAP, separate finances and keep the papers ready to file in a safe deposit box along with all your personal documents. Be ready for a betrayer to be true to their nature; sad, not sorry.

I am with the guys on the age gap. My great grandfather was visiting America because his brother got married. The bar the boys were celebrating was where he met my great grandmother. She was 36 while he was 21. She thought she could never be pregnant, but when she did she went to my great-great uncle’s place to call for my great grandfather. It was a time that it was bad to have a child out of wedlock. Even more so since her family was Catholic and his was Jewish. We don’t know the whole drama, but it was enough that the two felt they had to raise my grandfather on their own. My great grandfather drank and smoked a lot (on my grandfather’s account), but he was very sweet while my great grandmother was the most controlling person I had ever heard of. Her controlling behavior does not make me surprised that my great grandfather died of liver failure or that my family ignores abusive behavior. It takes a lot for them to realize how those behaviors are wrong.

Hey peeps!

*In regard to eye color:* I think all the misconceptions comes from the limited amount of time we dedicate to the subject of genetics in middle and high school. To be fair, genetics are VERY complicated, and they only teach us the simplest model. Is it rare? Yes. Impossible? *Not even a little bit.* There are so many factors. For instance, a persons’ genetics change as we age, for a multitude of reasons. Blood transfusions and transplants, exposure to our environment, multiple pregnancies, etc, etc. Heck, even diet and exercise can result in epigenetic changes. Besides, 1% isn’t actually that rare. It’s 1 in 100. 1 in 1 million is 0.000001%. 1% of the world population is approximately 700,000,000 people. 0.000001% of the population is approximately 70 people. The world population is probably higher now, and I hate math, but still… you get it. 😅

Last story. This is second hand. I can guarantee she apologized. Because she has a child. This guy just said 1 thing from a secondhand account. Which I can assure you took longer than those two phrases. But yes, she was wrong. He was called Daddy and loved a child for 3 years. The victims are the child, him and his family.

Eye Color Story: I (f) have brown eyes, husband has green eyes. My oldest has blue / green and our youngest has hazel. It’s genetics.

i dont blame anyone for getting a paternity test. whether theyre faithful or not. i think its normal to want to be 100% certain. cause you never know. people are grimey and selfish. and i ESPECIALLY dont blame anyone who wants a test after their partner cheated even if it was years and years prior. then it just gives you far far more reason to do it to be certain. ik i would. and i also know i would never tolerate cheating tho so.

80 weeks! 😂 gracious I hope not.

11:50 Affair partner is a murderer.

My x said once to me after my last kid " how do I know He's even my child ?You spend more time with(....) than me?" Mind it was my x that was spending time away. At that time DNA was not a thing. I was so hurt and disgusted. I sold everything, over three days .Hopped a plane and resettled 1000 miles away. He came home 6 days later to find only his tux(wedding)cut in half in the closet. I made it by hand and my gown and bridesmaid dresses. Didn't ask about kids just wanted to know where his softball and glove were? didn't talk to him again for 12 years. For the woman who did cheat yea! get a DNA test. Cheating is my pet peeve. Son in question is the clone of X.

People don't stay with a cheater they don't value you, and once a cheater, always a cheater. Never stay, especially if you have kids they notice they ain't dumb.

Love this duo

Riley, I am from Nashville, TN! I live in Nebraska now. My story: WIBTA for not caring for my mom? So long story please bare with me. It all started when I was 8. My mother always cared only for her needs. She then told me last year that only reason she cared for me was "necerssary reasons". Like what the fuck?! I am about to be 30 in October. To clarify my parents had me when they were teenagers. My mom now disowns me a lot when she doesn't get her way. So my question again is WIBTA for not caring her?

This is why 1 in 3 paternity test taken turn out to be negative

53:16 you are all such genuinely kind guys and I hope yall know how much it’s appreciated. Riley you strike me as perhaps the sweetest one since you said that you would stay and work it out for the kids. While I would likely walk away from the relationship I couldn’t leave the kid I get attached. That being said whenever you are older and you get married if some how some way your wife wrongs you or doesn’t appreciate you please let me know and I will play some kind of a sassy silly prank on her unless it’s a revenge type situation then it can just be a sassy prank pr something that helps her understand the wrong she’s done. You just seem so sweet and since I’m 36 years old now I always worry about sweet kind people in their 20’s because I was one. I hope this doesn’t come off at weird. I’m a very happily married lady to a sassy husband of my own. Sometimes some women need other women to remind them when they are wrong for the shit they’ve done like this dirty nurse hoe hoe from the story. I hope this comment makes sense again y’all are so awesome keep up the great work.

My kid was born at 28 weeks. He was 1 pound 15 ounces. So I can’t imagine what a child born earlier would be. The fact he’s not there through the tough times speaks volumes.

Questioning your baby mama?! Answer: 23ANDME. Why is this hard?! She can either know about the process or not know!!!

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

My mom has dark brown eyes and my dad has blue. I have his eyes down to the color

having a child with someone is not a good enough reason to stay. I learned that after 17 years.

My mom, dad and sister have blue eyes, my dad's parents have blue eyes and his sister has blue eyes. My mom's dad has blue and her mom has hazel. I landed with Hazel. But can confirm I am my father's daughter. Also to clarify my Hazel is yellow/brown/green. Edit in short: Genetics are weird!

She should have initiated testing before he had to ask her. Period. If she is unable to understand, accommodate, and genuinely take extraordinary measures to ease his mind, then they should part ways. I don’t say that lightly. But she has to accept that he has a right to work through his emotions. Period. If she wants to stay married, she will do whatever it takes to reassure him, being accountable to a degree she wouldn’t have been before. That doesn’t mean he has a right to be abusive. Period. There just has to be acceptance of the uncomfortable days ahead. Having said that, I’m saying it should not continue beyond a finite time frame. If it can’t be left in the past after, say, 3 years… that’s a point where some hard decisions and choices might need to be made. Because their child deserves parents who are either all in, or out the door and moving on. Kids pick up on more than people know. I’m not suggesting this is how their relationship or anyone else’s could be restored. I just know that for some couples (regardless of gender), if the foundation built is strong enough, and if their love for each other was never one of their problems, there is room for redemption. I’m suggesting that sometimes a beautiful life can be made by people who are broken together. Once in a while, forgiveness works and God creates miracles.

Are y’all pulling an Invincible on us by trading us with Spill That Tea?

DNA tests should be obligatory. No birth certificate should be signed without a DNA test for both parents.

My mother and sons grandfather on dads side have blue eyes, everyone else in both families have brown eyes (except two of my brothers) Sons eyes are a vivid blue. Eye colour comes from your whole genetic line- not just your mom and dad.

Idk guys. *Big Protein* isn’t a vibe. For this Show. For anyone using it. _And especially for Riley._ He + Sophia did a show together, she called him something, he asked if that was better than BP + I lowkey-yelled *Y E S !!*

40 week NICU is where pre term babies are sent to be taken care of

The eye colour thing should absolutely prompt a test!! I don't see how that's wrong. If the mom didn't cheat then she has nothing to worry about. At that point it's about putting the man's mind at ease. Why wouldn't you do that for your partner? He had a good reason and turns out he was right

Sunken cost?? Or SAMS GOLDEN RULE

Nurses are definitely red flags

Appreciate the grind boys!! Unless John is grinding on someone other than Riley 😂

If Riley wants a distance date, Itd be my dream

Once a cheater, always a cheater

45:20 all of these cases are exactly why paternity test should just be mandatory at birth/whenever there is a husband/boyfriends or other wise a man that either claims to be the Dad or is claimed by the Mom to be the Dad. Just test everyone that way no man has to live his life in doubt and fear. That way no women gets offended when her man asks for a test for his own confirmation. I understand why guys would want to know for sure it’s their kid that they are raising and paying for. If we get to know at birth because we watched the kid come out of us and as long as there’s not some crazy switched at birth fiasco than we ALWAYS know that child is ours. We forget that men don’t really have that same situation. I can understand why a women would be upset about her man asking for a paternity test BUT it’s not always about us. It’s not always about the parents it should be about the kids and if that man is a better Dad because he has proof than who am I to not allow that? If my husband said he wanted a paternity test I would ask him if he had a particular reason and then I would go and take the test because I have absolutely nothing to hide!

For Op that hubby is a cheater, so sorry for her, but she has all the cards, married, baby and he cheated…alimony and child support. She will be fine, just take care of her and baby.

Both my parents have blue eyes and i have hazel. I woyld be concerned if i didnt look exactly like my dad

My daughter was born when I was 25 weeks. She was 1lb and 8oz. She wasn't able to come home until she was 8 months old. She was in NICU ❤ that's scary. Idk what I would have done if my husband wasn't there for me. That OP needs to divorce. ❤

It's 42weeks, 9mths and 3weeks almost 10mths!

26 weeks is on the cusp of viability. Considered micro-preemie and so so sad and difficult a road for OP. As for the marriage- GET OUT NOW!!!

If you choose to stay in a relationship after someone cheats you do NOT get to hold that over their head the rest of the relationship. You’re either willing to forgive and forget or you’re not. Don’t string your partner along pretending you want to continue the relationship while really not willing to look past it. To be clear I’m not saying you SHOULD forgive a cheater personally I say leave but if your going to try to make it work you better be willing to actually make it work otherwise your not better than the cheater your just as toxic.

It’s gross that he slept with someone raw and came home and could’ve brought anything to your baby. On another note though, I think the older you get the more you view sex and relationships differently. Where you absolutely can’t see things that way in your 20s most of the time. I’m not saying it wrong and I don’t agree with cheating. I can understand more of swinging or open marriage or relationship but cheating is diss respectful period. The only reason I say any of that though is because he isn’t super bothered by how he’s cheated.

Claiming second cause why not lol EDIT - "slang my wang" is my new favorite phrase. Thanks John lol

I’m going to tell you right now that the only reason that Nurses are most likely to cheat is because the military is so good at keeping secrets.