My Husband Is An Alcoholic 

+MrAlow23 That is so wonderful!!!!! makes me a little envious, but wonderful nonetheless :)

Andy-Wan Kenobi wow god works in mysterious ways I hope the cancer went away

The next time I wish cancer on my worst enemy I'll think again

Sure Lock that’d sound way different out of context honestly

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My mom died due to her alcoholism. If you really love someone, don’t give up on them. Tough love and distance may be necessary, but if you enable them or don’t try to get them help, you’re part of the problem. Don’t be selfish. Have empathy and take some responsibility in helping others.

Mikey it’s a fact that if addicts don’t voluntarily get treatment, or are forced to due to legal issues the chance of recovery is very low. How can you say that these people are your friends and instead of organizing an intervention or giving them an ultimatum to check into treatment you go to the spouse and say bail? Very odd way to be a “friend”?

@@cskc6530you can only help & encourage the addict friend for so long. This is why he probably mentioned what he said.

Dang, so true!!!

We just love to try. It’s like ‘don’t give up’ love them! Yeah, we all reach the tipping point. Now I’m the ‘bad guy’ to his peers cause I’m the one pushing him out to leave. I’m the ‘crazy’ one. It’s what they do. Manipulative.

i'm just impressed they have such technology.

Probably wear it or in the clink on weekends or whatever. Not the same as volunteer

I’m sure that was sarcasm. He “volunteered” for the ankle monitor. In other words, HE got HIMSELF into trouble! :)

Life tobelived I'll bet you those women that stay have very little or no income so they stay for financial reasons and I also believe if the statistics you called or true then a man should leave his alcoholic wife if all he does is work all day and all she does is drink and vice versa this has no gender but generally a woman has to stay sober because that's what happens when you carry/care for children and there's even a warning label about pregnancy on an alcohol bottle so there you go men can drink and women can't drink from nature because of nurturing a baby not because of some law or feminist propaganda

I left with a small income. My manager where I was working very part time but had worked a decade gave me more hours to work so I could get a subsidized apartment. My mom, also, died the same time at the beginning of my separation. In the beginning I used credit cards to pay for my daughter's and my health insurance and my ex husband paid a small amount of child support. The state I live in does not have legal separation only marriage or divorce. I realize rereading this a year later that I painted my ex as a totally bad guy. He wasn't just someone who has an addiction and for whatever reason could not bring himself to get treatment. Later at the end of our divorce process when I was able I offered him 3 times to pay for his treatment but he said no. It had no strings attached like getting back together. He said no. It''s still sad.

Thank you for this comment, i am about to leave my alcoholic husband.

​@@Drsivric I am in my 44th year of marriage - most of the time he's been addicted to alcohol. He's not a mean, abusive, violent, lazy drunk. He is self destructive. I do have a living income and financially could easily leave. But.... leaving and taking 1/2 would probably result in him having to sell his business because he wouldn't have my piece of the pie to help pay the debt. That's not what I want to happen. He's a very good, hard working, generous man ------ with issues he refuses to address. That doesn't make him a bad man. And I have no desire to destroy him - which I could have done easily a long time ago. Life is complicated. Life is difficult at times. Life is short for most addicts. My husband is showing signs of serious health issues - I will stay to take care of him through the end. I watched my alcoholic grandfather suffer and die from his substance abuse. I don't want to go there but I'm unwilling to throw him in there, turn my back on him, and walk away.

Exactly right. Ramsay gave her bad advice by trying to keep her married.

SoulSistersSurvivors Sisters - his quest to destroy you.? I know it is very damaging, but why do you believe he's on a quest to destroy you? Seems some greater perspective might be in order. Alcohol just like so many things is addictive. I would encourage you to consider, that this may not be the person he wants to be.

Of course he doesn't want to be, but how hard does he not want to be ???

Is his name matt

Amen !

Sad because it's out of love but, true.

This is completely wrong. Ignorance at its finest. I went to a therapy for my generalized anxiety and met with 5 total former alcoholics who all changed their ways, and they were just as bad if not worse than this caller's husband.

Azeem Siddiqui i think she meant you can’t help somebody who does not want to be helped they need to hit a low and realize how bad they are by themselves

Azeem Siddiqui i bet everyone of them will tell you they had to hit rock bottom and want it for themselves because no one can make anyone change

I was going through an unusually bad menopause(runs in the family) when I confessed to my obgyn about some of my stress with my marriage was my ex husband's alcohol addiction. He looked directly at me and said he won't change. It snapped me out of my misery for a moment. Sometimes we don't need the sugar coated version we need the truth.

Me too 😳

Al Anon helps

Just don't get married. Life is way more peaceful.

Squiffy agreed.

Better yet don’t ever get married

@@inthevault9603 48 years old. Not doing the marrying thing and no kids. Not just because of money. It's just easier on the brain

You think??

Tina Cummins nope

Alcoholics Anonymous

The lawmakers love alcohol.

well la di da. care to add any of your excess wisdom on the subject?

Kate Hartmann no he doesn’t. He sees it as a thing they can change. It’s a sickness!

Actually it's a weakness. Just like any drug, the person cannot cope with their life and finds their escape in their drug of choice. A strong person deals with adversity constructively or at least just deals with it. A weak person runs to drugs or alchohol.

Melissa Contin actually you can change it. I did. My father took his life and my drinking progressed to full blown alcoholic. After a year of drinking everyday and almost dying my wife said you need to quit or the kids and I are leaving. Been 16 months without a drink, we are happier than ever, and in the 16 months we’ve paid off $26k in debt. People can change, we just have to want to do it.

I agree! She is asking for financial advice. Ultimatums do not work. I am no longer listening to this guy.

Jasmine Carter yes it is. Just keep moving forward😀

May I ask a question please? Why would a son drink a lot when their father passed from drink? He's not bad as in attitude it's just what he does and trying to figure it out

Can i asked, what made you change your ways?

Manzurul alam please give me a portion of your proceeds and I will retract my statement. Shalom....

Then you've been going to the wrong counselors.

@@azeemsiddiqui4764 either that or people should take responsibility for themselves instead of depending on others. I dont believe in therapists or counseling unless that person has proven track record of creating those results in their own life. If your not someone I would want to trade places with in some way then your advice is irrelevant

Real alcoholics don’t go to those

Ok please tell the Priests to stop molesting children while your at it. We just had 25 Priests arrested in my town, its a national plague.

@@jamesjazzy8040 I'm sorry James, that is truly heartbreaking. No title or robe can set people apart as "good." Wolves in sheep clothing. God bless

She needs to sell her car

Dave is definitely not MFT.

Ohh wow this is about you!!???.....well I'm in the same boat as yall. Idk what to do. How are you guys doing now? Did things get better?

I agree they all say I will change. Nine times out of ten they don't.

Lol, you sound like a great spouse.

Yes! Go to a real mental health/substance abuse professional

Focus In Life?

Father in law

If you have a dui and your wearing a state ordered ankle bracelet this isn’t functional nothing here was functional

There's no such thing.

Al Delgado Jesus doesn’t get involved. He is judging.

🙏❤

I hope this prayer brings you peace and freedom: "Most precious blood of Jesus Christ, save us and the whole world" 500x. It is a simple prayer, but it is a POWERFUL prayer that breaks the chains of addictions.

Please never stop praying, God will never give up on you. I pray that you find a way. God bless you 🙏

@@VMluvsme Amen!

You justify drinking because you work and provide but you are not providing what your wife and children need which is your presence sober.. I know because I am that wife. No judgment. May you find help before too much more mental health damage is done to your fam.

yeah thats a funny way of saying he has to wear an ankle monitor or go to prison

+Vin Lima What in the world are you talking about?

Then we need a show on tobacco, car, gun, rope, knife, and pharmaceutical companies. There are millions of people who use each of the following responsible but there are those who abuse all of the above. It is not the businesses responsibility what an individual does with their product

America is a Christian nation, if you don't follow God you don't belong here

@@bobsagget9212 yikes... typical religious person response though... always acting like you're somehow better than others because of religious reasons. Exactly why I don't go to Church anymore.

He’s not pushing anything on them. She called him asking for HIS advice. He’s not giving unsolicited advice to strangers.

And?

Because not everyone can drink moderately. I'm not a big fan of the AA program either but I guess it works for some.

Life tobelived well the thing is that other options such as prescribed drugs for alcoholism are more effective at causing people to drink less

I didn't know that. I went to Al anon for a while and visited AA to understand a little bit more what people struggle with. Al-non meetings started to depress me after the initial "high" of having people around me who really understood. People kept saying I know this is the only place people really understand. And reading the Al non literature about dealing with alcoholism just kept reminding me of what I was dealing with. I bought one book on marriage and alcoholism and it was so bad I recycled it. It works for a lot of people and it helped me for a while but as someone with already poor self esteem the idea of repeating the mantra of I'm a broken and sick person just wasn't conducive to my well being. I started to hate reading the 12 steps at meetings.

...if he could do that he wouldn't be an alcoholic would he...?...

Because there is always that chance it will get worse over time.

He probably promised to love and cherish and protect her. Does none of the above.

@@sweethomechicago Good point. That's subjective though, and the marriage promise is usually pretty darn unconditional. It's a long and difficult formal breaking of the most serious and formal promise a person ever makes. I don't see it as an option outside of adultery as the Bible says.

Marriage is not a license to abuse and neglect or subjugate a person. Marriage is a contractual obligation until the contract is broken or otherwise disavowed.

Who said its unchristian to divorce?

Not at all when there is abuse and addiction and being married to an alcoholic there is 100% chance there is abuse. God doesn't want people miserable. Living with an addict is one of the worse things to ever go through.

Dont believe these words, Our father wants us to be be well.