My In-Laws Are Broke and Asking for Money! 

They are not retired. They are unemployed.

If they don't have money for cable, they shouldn't have cable

I would RATHER work 60 hrs a week than ask someone for money.

Happened to me. My mother in law is a spender and was never involved in her marriage's finances. Father in law was a successful engineer, but never put money aside, really, then passed after 4 years of cancer (in France, health care is free, so it was no expense). Then she asked my husband to help keep her lifestyle the same after losing her husband's income. We had a baby and were living pretty tight. I stepped in and told her off. I told him he could decide to maintain her mother's delusion or keep his family. He chose his family. She learned over the next 15 years to manage her money. She resents me for it, but stepping in and telling her off saved my marriage.

They had money. They spent it all. They aren't retired any more. The English came up with a word for this sort of situation: "No".

Yikes. I’m 59. High school drop out. My biggest fear is being a burden on my daughter. Actually tomorrow I’m buying a House cash. Life Rule #1. You don’t borrow money from your children.

Cable is NOT a necessity! If they can't pay for cable, then they don't have cable.

Can’t even imagine a situation where a grown adult’s parents are actually asking their kids for money, especially knowing they have young children and just bought a house. Shame on them.

First your responsibility is your children, wife and home.

"Either you have the money or you don't"............ I do have the money and you don't

"Can you go back to work?" "Look, do you have the money or don't you?" That right there tells you these people shouldn't get a dime.

Funny that you with the three small kids and new house didnt get any of the 'hundreds of thousands' that your mom in law inherited...so I would DEFINITELY keep the same energy

These 60 somethings should be ashamed of themselves! I will be 75 in June and i still work my ass off. I have almost a million saved but I just keep hustling. It keeps me young and I don't have to worry about running out of money!

you aren't retired if you constantly have to borrow from others. you don't get to do that

Imagine inheriting hundreds of thousands of dollars and blowing it all on oil margins... jeez people are crazy.

I’m 23, freshly graduated from college, very low debt and obsessed with watching The Dave Ramsey Show! Amazing tips! Using them to pay off my debt.

Your in-laws are more like out-laws

You have zero responsibility for them morally or any other way. I'm a 67 year old widow who stills works and would never ever ask my son for financial help ever! They got into this mess and they can get themselves out of it!

I helped my in-laws out with money…ONCE. When I saw their lack of gratitude and sheer entitlement I said F-THEM. Will not happen again.

Don’t let people feed off of you . You don’t work , you don’t eat . Take accountability for your decisions.

If you’re broke you don’t need cable, if anything cable makes you more broke, mentally and the cost of it.

Give them NO money unless they are in a critical situation. They will learn they need to get jobs

This would be so humiliating to me, I'd rather take any job I could find and live in a cardboard box, than ask my children for money.

I actually like the idea of taking them over a bag of groceries from time to time. That would seem to make a useful point.

I’m 63 woman, worked my whole life and still is, and would never ask or expect money from my kids! They are not entitled and need to get back to work and fix their own problems. Wow!

I’m 70 years old and basically lived my life according to Dave’s rules years before I ever heard of him. Why? Because they are common sense. Retired now and living very well. Also have money for gifts and charity. When we got married we bought a home but had nothing left over for a honeymoon or furniture. Saved for 2 years to pay for the honeymoon. Had lawn furniture in the living room for 5 years. Invested 20% of yearly income. Bought modest new cars and kept them for 10-15 years. No sympathy for young people driving $50,000 cars, taking cruises, dining out often and complaining they can’t afford a new home.

This is what I've been dealing with for years. My mother came into a large inheritance and blew it in less than a year. Refuses to go over her budget with me. Still expects me to bail her out of her bad decisions. She didn't like getting cut off. TOO BAD. Not my problem anymore. She committed identity theft on numerous family members over the years as well, including against ME. I'm so done.

I had a homeless guy tell me he was retired after I pointed to the help wanted in the parkinglot when he me asked for money. I told him he retired too early.

The second he said either you have it, or you don’t would have made the decision easy.

Don’t enable then. Hate people that have the gall for asking for money

The inlaws will always use your wife against you. Indirect control is choice of weapon. This could cause a divorce.

Never tell family or relatives or friends what you make. Jealousy happens when you do better than them.

The curse of money is the jealousy, envy, and (sometimes) entitlement others have regarding it. "You have it, and I don't, so you have to provide as I demand" ...... And the worst part is even when you help them, they will hate you and resent you for it.

I am glad the wife and hubby are on the same side of the coin. They have what it takes to go the distance.

My parents to a tee. Wasted their money on booze and high living. Then they show up at my house and say, we're moving in. I told them they have to pay rent and utilities, like they did to me after I graduated high school and I was trying to pay for college on my own

Amazing video, A friend of mine referred me to a financial adviser sometime ago and we got to talking about investment and money. I started investing with $150k and in the first 2 months, my portfolio was reading $274,800. Crazy right!, I decided to reinvest my profit and get more interesting. For over a year we have been working together making consistent profit just bought my second home 2 weeks ago and care for my family.

My father in law is like this. Gambling addict who would love to get a revenue stream out of his daughter. Hell no. All of our extra resources will be going into our kid’s educations. Not his entertainment and continued bad habits. 🙅‍♀️ Our plan for him becoming helpless is to let the Drs in the ER figure it out and find a nursing home for him. He’s got no assets other than a car so Medicaid will cover it. Easy peasy.

There's only one way to respond when people ask to borrow money. You say, "I was going to ask you the same thing".

We're about to see 1000x the number of people in this situation.

I would say "No" pretty easily! Not my responsibility to take care of irresponsible people!

This caller sounds genuine. Hope everything is ok for you, your wife and children.

If they don't have the money to be retired, they might just have to un-retire and get some jobs...

That sounds like the story a lady told me the other day saying her dad was asking for $1,000 to pay for his property taxes and when she bought a car instead because she needed transportation to and from work, her parents were upset she bought a car over paying for their property tax.

Dude, you’re NOT one of your in-laws’ children! You’re responsible for taking care of your wife and kids. Period. These folks may be retired, but if they don’t plan to work then they’re another not so nice word ending in ed!

Me and my wife decided long ago we don't want to be burdens on our children. We have taken steps to insure that doesn't happen short of a total collapse of our society. We will do everything to ensure our kids are successful and hopefully leave them with a substantial inheritance. All this comes from my wife's parents attitude towards us and money. Early in our marriage they took several thousands of dollars out of my wife's bank account that they had access to. We were newlyweds and stationed in Germany and had yet to make it back to the USA to change banking access. It caused a lot of turmoil in our young marriage and almost sunk us. Here we are 27 years later and it has served as an example for what we never want to impose on our own children. I still cannot understand how family can feel entitled to their own families money. One of the greatest sins a parent can impose on a child is to knowingly rob them of a future.

Wow I am here. I have covered the grandparents in their housing needs for 15 years. Fast forward to today and I provide the house, the utilities, the cell phone plan, and the property maintenance. Now I have 2 kids in college and one in high school. When do I get to say no? I feel good about my financial situation but they are still making stupid financial decisions.

Oil? Come on? They are not 25. They are 65! If they act like they are in their 20's then treat them that way, financially speaking. Give them an allowance based on a budget, if they play by your rule. Like Dave said, they need u as an auditor

The only time my parents ever gave me money was 1 o’clock in the morning when I had to go 3 hours away to a hospital because my first born was premature! The ATM max was $400......my parents gave me $500 so I’d have enough.....I paid them back a few weeks later!! Oh my daughter did just fine.....now a junior in college!!!

It's sad when the children are more mature than the parents.

This is ridiculous. Im 61 and working with cancer. Any healthy person can work!!

Say ‘NO’ . It’s not that hard. I’ve told my parents no. My dad is 76 and back at work due to his inability to control his finances.

I listened to this out of curiosity and found that it supported what I had already decided to do with my In-Laws. While they currently have money, he won't when she passes, and she will shortly due to her health. Currently they are "too smart" to speak with us about their finances, so talking with them about it isn't an option, and won't be until SHTF. I have already had this conversation with my father, numerous times over the past 25 years, and as predicted, has decided to "manage his own money", which in reality he isn't. Early on he asked for money but stopped as the answer was consistently "only if you agree to our terms" to budget his income. Again, no dice. My priority is my family....end of story.

My story was just the opposite. We just got married and bought our first house. My in-laws were mega rich! I was a phone tech and one of my wife's uncle wanted me to help fix his phone problems for free. This uncle never worked a day in his life. I flat told him no.

I'm on the same page with this guy. My father in law wants to retire with a twelve-year-old son still on his belt. He will get a $7,000 annual pension and he lives in San Jose, CA. He wants his daughter to buy him a house in San Jose. He's only 47 years old who has a 17 years old daughter who will go to college next year and a 12 years old kid and a wife that only makes 60k a year with no health insurance or any retirement plan on her behalf. I tried to talk him out for not quitting his job since all of his family members dependents on his insurance from his work.

Who has cable anymore? Most people I know have cut the cord and have a streaming service or two.

Hungry isn't cable and vacation money. I make my kids learn responsibility by earning money and paying for their wants and eventually needs, but asking kids for money is insane. I'd work my old bones to death before asking them to pay for cable. Which I dont have anyways because it is stupid. I'm working too hard for TV.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Go back to work pops.

Don’t throw good money after bad money. It would be a waste to give it to them.

Ive heard of quite a few "retired" couples or houses who haven't saved any money for property taxes, and are expecting a bailout

Never invite relatives to your home and never let them know what you do for a living. It’s worked for me and I’m very happy!

As Dave says, "NO" is a complete sentence!

It’s hard and a heavy burden however momma and daddy y’all gotta work. This is such a difficult conversation.

I would NEVER want to burden my kids. Their money is their money. Period!

Make sure the wife is 100% on the same page as you going in to that conversation. Don’t have her heart melt and end up 3 to 1.

"We're really unclear on what we should be doing as their children to guide them during this time." Step one: drive them to Wal-Mart Step two: show them what a greeter does Step three: help them fill out an application for employment.

Do a family visit because you love them and they are family. Access what you see. IF they actually need food, bring them some and say, “We were at Costco and they had a big sale on…so we have some extra”.

Exactly why margin can be very dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. If you don't know how to invest, you'll lose money, if you don't know and you use margin, you'll lose only faster

We are retired --Must be something with that age group(60s) feeling entitled to their kids income.. My mother says the same thing 🙄

It is my culture to take care of our elderly parents. My parents don’t demand that, but if they need help, I am going to help them. They have always been there for me, I am going to be there for them.

They can't afford to keep the cable on?? Good! It's probably the reason they are broke now.

Dont lend money period! If the bank wont give it to them they are no good for it. My brother borrowed 3,000 from me, borrowed quite a bit from my sister, from my father, from my mother a huge sum in her old age,,none of us knew he was doing this to each of us at the same time. He then quit his good job took off and no one has seen him again. He needs to be in jail!

He doesn't even owe them the conversation.

Love this! Dave's idea about I will give you something IF I am allowed to audit your finances. That is so smart and fair.

Do not solve others problem by making them your problems!

My father wanting money and not being self sufficient hurt our relationship substantially after my grandmother died…..he couldn’t live off her anymore….I paid for his funeral $10000 and it took me 2.5 years bouncing it off no credit cards….I love my father and I did what I could do for him. But my goal in life is to leave my children something to help them out and to show them I love them and I care. I like Dave Ramsey and Kaleob Hammer.

Great conversation. This is about decency and self respect. And the lack of it -sadly.

A simple case of “well my relative has access to income so by proxy so do I”. There isnt ant reason they should be asking for money when they spent all theirs. Paying for food isnt even necessary. If they blew every dollar they had, they will only blow every dollar they get.

My father is 70 years old , very wealthy and still works

Had a similar issue with my brother and sister in law. They were largely subsidized by my sweet and enabling mother for years. Always excuses, victim mentality, never their fault why they lived beyond their means. Everything came to a screeching halt when mom got Alzheimer’s and I become the POA for her account. OMG the attitude!!! The entitlement. My hubby and I have done well totally on our own with no handouts. We live below our means, save money, and are philanthropic. So when Mom’s checkbook was closed to them, he actually said “I know you always have money laying around, why can’t you help?” I did what you suggested: no loan and definitely no gifts…they had to get a financial counselor, get on a budget, set a time line for repayment to us and follow thru. Which was painful for them, they kept falling down and getting back up, but forcing them to shape up was the best gift from us. They’re doing better now, still struggling but no more requests.

That "I like you" (1:30) came out of nowhere. It even stunned Dave and the caller for a second or 2.

This resonates with me greatly. My in laws only call us when they need something. My husband had to buy his inheritance. We've loaned them over $8,000 because they never saved and are now living on social security only. I finally told him we are tapped out; I am done helping. If they need more, they can ask the 'golden child' who's a bum and still lives at home at 45 years of age.

Caller: My house was set on fire and my mom died in the fire. Dave: Okay, so what is your household income?

"So, you want me to take money away from your grandchildren so you don't have to work anymore?"

Man I know someone just like this , and now they wanna live with them . Just a big nightmare

We had this situation a couple of hears ago when my father in law died. Run!

When you have three kids, whatever money you're making is never much. Whatever comes in, you wanna set some apart for college, plan for your retirement, make sure you pay your house off, spoil your kids etc... And all of those are higher priorities than supporting in-laws who played with money. ETA: Most of us don't understand the tricky situation this man is in tho. Living it vs commenting online far away are two different situations. Imagine something as simple as a birthday for your 10yo. You want to gift him the new Switch because he's a straight A student and has been behaving perfectly this year. Now you also want Grandparents to celebrate with him. Are they really going to be happy about his $500 gift when they've been asking you to help them with cable? It reflect on the joy of the kids. Now how will you manage? It's a sucky situation. And that's just one of many many daily scenarios. Their comments if you decide to vacation or renew your vows and all the little extras of life that they should be cheering for.

Their actions are releasing you from guilt

Problem is if their habits don’t change they will just keep coming back.

Once you are retired a few years into your late 60's or early 70's, it is really hard to go back to work.

So...how was they living financially before they inherited this money

Wow I think I'm so blessed with my parents . They never ask me money even once. When I'm working I send them once a month . Now that I need to stay home to take care of kids my brother is the one sending them every month. They are always grateful.

Hearing stories like this make me so glad I am not married.

I don’t have cable. My phone with mint is $15 a month paid in one lump sum. I drive a 1999 Buick I inherited. No debt. Paid off homes, we eat at home. Meat occasionally. We have over air antenna and on tv subscription. They don’t need cable.

"Heath i like you" Heath: i dont care.

he's defiantly not worried about the in-laws seeing this call on their computer or phones!

People ask me for money often and after many painful lessons I have learned to give an honest PARTIAL answer. It goes "I don't have it". The whole answer is "I don't have it to lose if you don't honoreour agreement and pay me back. Any money I loan is only loaned if I can afford to lose it because I have been ghosted and had people get upset with me for me asking for what we agreed was a loan. No sir, no Madam, no thank you.

A friend of mine just lost 10k on oil.... (Instead of putting it towards the house down payment)

Wow. How rude of those in-laws!

My biggest mistake was not learning to be assertive when people ask to "borrow" money. People who need to do that regularly have no concept of what money truly means. They also forget that lending to them over time loses you money because it's never with interest. Even though it's just a few percent in inflation, depending on the payback time, it still is a loss.

I’m 74 and found a job.