Thank you so much Lynn for allowing me the opportunity to tell my story ♥️ It's NOT about spreading hate towards my parents, it's to show the repercussions of raising kids in a broken home. Unfortunately, the "mtaachana tu" thing happens a lot more today. So if you find yourself as the present parent, don't let the bitterness of it stop you from giving your shudren 1000% of your love. Together? 😊
Life have taught me a lot... I've come to understand that there's always a solution to problems. Five years ago, my wife and I were close to divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we found a way to fix them. It was tough, but we survived.
Releasing someone you love is always a daunting task, but in my situation, I had the support of a spiritual advisor who prevented the disintegration of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
😮 I feel though God pours a special blessings on those without parent or parent who mistreat them. If they let go of the bitterness n let God guide them.
It is a complex situation to unpack. Usually, the parent that stays is judged harshly. You are left with the role of being disciplinarian, caretaker, nurse, emotional support, provision, etc. So when you fall short on any of these, the kids may not understand the human side that sometimes things may not work and that the present parent also has struggles of their own. The absentee parent enjoys the praise of being the loving parent who plays a victim of the situation sometimes. All in all, both parents and kids from broken homes need a lot of support.
Lynn how are you? Can you please organise to interview the mother too? It would be nice to listen to both sides of this story. Wishing all of then quickest healing.
She needs therapy to help her understand some basics: 1. Both parents failed her, not just her mom. 2. We are under our parents compulsory care until we are 18. Any support past that is grace extended to us. 3. Forgiveness is for self. She'll be taught to let go of her pain and live freely. 4. She needs to also take responsibility for her actions that contributed to some incidences.
All that happened to her, did while she was still a child,even if she goes to therapy she will always feel the same way as long as her mom keeps treating her the same way she did from when the dad left. Main reason for her actions till date are coz everything started off while she was just a kid. If she was much older it would be different.
Her Dad failed her the most and her mum did her best paid primary school provided her basic needs foof, shelter, clothing.took her to campus paid .but she was not ready to stay with her aunt and she got pregnant.its not her mum's fault she should have studied to be better.your mum had alot of stress raised 2 kids alone is not easy.hope u don't luck and your daughter takes it against you I pray that day won't come for hurting your mum like this
I feel bad for the mother, she seemed like a loving mum but was also going through her hurt. Abigail seems to have excused the dad but not mum. There is no time she ever says anything positive about mum. She also did have quite good chances but made poor decisions. Both mum and daughter are hurt, both need professional therapy. I hope their relationship is mended
I am a mother who has undergone divorce.. but my priorities in life is my connection with God ,my sanity and my kids . The last thing I will not do is to bleed on my kids . Infact the separation has made us even closer.
this is me too i am asking God To make me whole too. i have read that what afects kids most is not the absence of a dad, but the stability and the happines of the mother. our left us early and we grew with lots of pain but i will never allow my kids to miss me even for a day ,my praye to God is to keep me heal and make me enjoy my lovely kids . AMEN
"Parents should normalize apologizing to their kids". This is my punchline from the conversation. There are wounds that only apology can heal. Much love to you Abigail.
We should normalize talking of parental hurt.... whether mother or father...They mess children up...I wish this girl healing and I want to tell her you are enough and you will and already have overcome...love and hugs Abby
We need to talk about parents hut so that others will not repeat the same mistakes. My dear what I want to say forgive your mum yourself, and find purpose for your pain
As far as the kid lacks that father's part occupational, no matter the expensive extravagant life you can give to them, the unoccupied part will always display and affect their lives negatively whether you like it or not, many bitter single mothers shall never allow this fact to sink and Will rather live in denial.
@@martinjacobtv9864 you are out of topic my friend,read in between the lines and understand my point,kuna mahali umeona mimi nikisema father is not important?wewee,elewa vitu,and we are not bitter,we dont force things,sawa
Lynn your guest described my entire childhood! My mom is now 87 years old. I brought her to America and I experienced the same resentment and rejection from her. I prayed to God, cried and in the end I realized I cannot make anyone love me. The Bible verse says, can a woman's tender care cease toward the child she bore, yes she can, yet will Father God remember me. Sister, look only to God he is your mother and father.
@faithrehema4767 only if the parties accept the other's pain as legitimate and agree to healing and actively work on it. Not only in words but also in being active toward healing that brokenness and trauma. When the going gets tough, forgive and learn how to move forward as humble servants toward each other. My mother is a narcissist and only thinks about her pain. Only her story matters in her eyes to this day. It's always been that way, her way of release when we were children is the curse us, especially me, she beat me in the most cruel way and finally she purposely pitted us kids against each other. Even toward we don't get on. The wound is too deep. The only path to healing is inward. Work on yourself and give back compassion and love to those who are able to receive it. I don't was my love anymore in infertile soil or places that won't reap. I am still working on being all that God has designed me to be before I entered my mother's womb. May God grant each of us broken birds, peace, and healing so we can fly again 🙏🏽
I empathize with Abigael and pray for her to complete her degree and her, daughter and brother's life to improve. But I also feel most likely she could be depressed and if not addressed she may spend her life blaming her mother for everything that does not work in her life.
I thought am the only person wondering how my mum used to mistreat me kumbe kuna ushuhuda hadi huku kwa lynn😢may God heal us and change our mumies mentality.
Tuko wengi guys despite vile alinitesa on my childhood hadi alishidwa kunilipia shule na kunipea food I still took care of her nikiwa job paid for her hospital bills until her demise ...I did all this because I wanted to brake the chains otherwise she never deserved my care
Am that dude kid who mum never be there for me,even my siblings used to hate me,but now God changed my story, am one of the gal that has made it not so much but the small God has given me is a big achievement,Tegemeeni Mungu,ni baba ya wasio na baba,ni WA yatima,waliotupwa,and trust me God is making ways
This child😮 I think she had her own issues which she project on the mom. I basically went through what she went through. My pocket money( helb) ndio nililipia fees whole time. I never projected it on my period. The moment you know life is yours, masimo ni yako, destiny ni yako you stop projecting and own your life n your destiny
Her mom was married at 19 she was hardly a mentally mature adult and then divorced but I’m not excusing her, she was wrong for everything but this child has already experienced the unreliability of her mum,why does she continuously expect so much from her?
She needs own up her life, get emotional wisdom and own her life. Expecting anything from the world is defeatist. Just love yourself and give no space for negative people into your life
And she had enough chances which she blew up, 30k from Equity, 7k from her mom, support however small from her dad, etc And why would she be more concerned about her dad more than her mom. That's insulting
You are right Lynn. Gen -Z children are a reflection of what we did right or wrong. They are not the problem. The older generation should recognise their faults
As a millennial single mother raising a daughter,all i can say they are making things so difficult, you do everything right according to your knowledge/capabilites but they want things on their own ways.They don't want the truth about consequences of life choices,mimi msichana akiamua kufanya vile anafikiria bila kuona me as a mother chenye anapitia achange path yake,nitamuacha dunia imfunze,wacha aniite toxic
I agree with you totally am also like Abigial ,I didn't want to listen to my mother now am a single mom too we kids are making the life of these single parents difficult .....Abigail was notorious period
As a single mum i know the choices one makes and ends up regretting for the rest of their lives...i tell my girl to be careful now that she is a teenager, am very realistic with her...but asipo niskiza shaurize
Being a mother will open your eyes greatly to your parents’ abuse. When I became a mother, I couldn’t even imagine punishing my child the way that I’d been “disciplined”. Imagine punishing a 3 year old baby like that hmmm 😢.. never never. And it’s so sad realizing how much of your childhood you lost 😞 but if you’re willing to take the journey to heal, you make sure you become a wonderful parent -leading and guiding your kids into a beautiful life to break those generational traumas/curses. They claimed it was discipline but it was really abuse. Physical, Emotional, Psychological. And it triggers you so much sometimes especially when you start comparing yourself…but! May God continue healing us and restoring us to becoming better parents and spouses. 🙏🏾💛💛
Good morning team LNN What message do you have for Abigail? Kindly let's elevate her emotionally, spiritually, and financially. You can reach her on +254 741 753 917 TikTok: abbywambui Instagram: abigail_wambui To order LNN merchandise, reach us on +254 726 916 908 or Business@Lnn.digital To support our work, Mpesa +254 726 916 908 Join our Telegram community here t.me/official_lynnngugi for exclusive Behind The Scenes To contact our incredible partners; Kings Developers: +254 700 090 060 or sales@kingsdevelopers.com and their website at www.kingsdevelopers.com Maridady Motors: +254 709 888 178 or +254 709 888 176 and their website at www.maridadymotors.com You can always share your story via info@Lnn.digital Thank you for watching❤❤
Lynn, come slowly. You brought Aliet, kalif Kairo's gf and now effects of single mothers... ..the only 2 left are Nyanchwani and Kifeee. Tiptoe before wakate mfereji wa pesa.
Lynn the mistake you did is to give that spoiled Brat airtime to bash her mother and make her mother look evil, you could have done your research too from the mother before you edit and post Your platform gives hope to many people but don't water it down by Validating Brats we've orphans who are helping their families and have absolutely made it they never had enough like that woman She messed up but she is looking sympathy from the world She feels entitled
Lynn am a big supporter of your show and thanks for all you do. But this is the only show that I would like to hear the mother’s side of the story. As a mother all I can say mothers/parents go through a lot. We have seen numerous cases of kids being physically and sexually abused but for this case it’s because the mum lacked no one chooses poverty.I don’t think she was also disobedient,ungrateful and entitled. Does she know how blessed she was to get the equity scholarship.she has grace for everyone but the mum , she’s even understanding that baby daddy can’t afford to raise the child and let him go.
Very ungrateful. Healing begins by taking responsibility for her mistakes. I think her mother tried to the best of her ability. For her to get the Wings To Fly scholarship means her mother's financial state was not good. Something she should have understood. She probably just desired a good life in school, considering how much it costs from Lamu to Nairobi, i bet the mum couldnt afford to go for the visiting days.
Lyn I don’t know if you’ll read this, every time you bring a guest for interview please show them where they go wrong and try to rectify them because of the audience watching the gen Z need to learn from those who made the mistake before them please check on that
All constructive feedback are good but I think it is not a good idea for Lynn to be setting here on platform to judge people... I think is doing an amazing work by listening and provide us with material that helps us on reflection work with our self...material can only be beneficial if their are untouched and raw . Speaking with the experience of going to terapi for 2yrs...it is not the psykolog that heals people their...the reasons that people start their of journey healing is because terapisti create unjudgement environment around one...and the truest start growing through the relation and during the process patient will start by themselves learn and relearn...I think that is a good way to go ❤ At second...to compare trauma doesn't help...each trauma is unik depending on ones perception...I you listen carefully in Abigail story...she is telling how she took in and she think it affected her...that is why is good to listen...sometimes is good to tell louder because it's their you can get the opportunity to hear your self with your ears...that helps in processing the inner pictures so that you can put them in words and sound by mouth....the is nothing bad with that ❤ third I see that many on this platform are Christians ...if you guys read your bibles you find that it tells you about the power of the tongue and the power of the ear...
She is a journalist doing an interview. She has to be unbiased and is there to listen and let the girl share her experience. Understand that not everyone is looking for advice.
There is so much to learn here. These Gen Z kids are not ready for life. Woi. I hope this is an outlier. We were never cuddled, we were beaten and we became tough, gen z is another breed. Parents we need to wake up.
Our generation was the one to be beaten, their generation is the one to be cuddled. Times change and we have to embrace change, same way we stopped using typewriter to computers.
By the way, just the way for nine months of pregnancy you had not prepared for your baby's clothes is the same way your mom was not prepared for your campus after 4 years of high school..... things happen especially when your income is kidogo it's really difficult to prepare or have a long term plan because you are surviving on hand to mouth. Your mom had her challenges, but she wasn't too bad as a mom. She just did not know how to deal with her own pain. All in all, you are destined to go far, just give your daughter the best you can. Tomorrow will be better.
Please do not project your problems to your mother. She could be going through a depression after the divorce. You are lucky you got a scholarship . You also played a part to mess with your life. Put yourself together and go for therapy. We have orphans who manage their lives. At 18years you have responsibility of your life.
1.All kids look up to their parents for the next step, it's up to the parent to explain to their child the challenges &how to manoeuvre. 2. Don't show your child that it's the responsibility of the father only.. parenting it's both 3. Both parents failed to be supportive of their child
Actually the reason why her mother didn't respond to her after giving birth maybe she was frustrated and she didn't have the right word to use .. maybe if she had talked she could have said something worst than there before...
The fact that she understands her dad lacked money that why he couldn't chip in,but she's so mad when the mother supports only where she could is soois insane 💔 it's Tough For Mothers!
Mothers need to be supportive ata kama sio pesa words of affirmation and encouragement. Just throwing words and showing lots of i do not care isnt fair. Positive words helps one negotiate through life
We can all judge the mother how we want but the mother tried her best only that she was strict and never allowed the daughter to do things her way…and probably she compared herself with other children in school she forgot to see the efforts her mum put in being a mama mboga . Being a Gen Z I don’t blame her they are exposed to so much at a young age and probably she will understand everything as she grows up . Unless we hear the mom’s side but that girl is the problem.
She has a lot of grace for the dad because he never mistreated her or made her feel unworthy even though he left. Love triumphs over money/ things. I’ve heard so many stories where children have more grace for the parent that left than the one who stayed. The father’s side of the family also seemed to help her where they could.
The mother later got a better job and still doesn't support even the brother who is diabetic .the parent that stayed should always step up no matter what I grew up with a single mum(divorced) and she stepped up she never made us made us feel guilty of helping us she sheilded us from what she was going through
This is so important. Plus take the time to process the pain, in order to heal properly. It's never easy but one can do it with the right therapy and support system in place.
Ohhhhh God this girl has suffered, yet she stayed strong and I know her mother might be going through her own difficulties but these children don't deserve to be penalized for our own wrong choices as parents. I am a single mother, divorced and unsupported but my children are everything I have and I have protected, loved them despite the brokenness. Parents please please try harder. Remember you brought this child to life, whatever you go through, hold your children to the chest.
Forget about it . Men only provide when they can still have s*x with the mother. A good example is just a normal family ,once they are not in good terms. Most will not even provide properly . Now imagine if they separate. "What I'm I gaining in return "is the answer
Her mum was going through alot as a single mum,struggling to put food on table ,, failed to listen to her what else wll u expect,, actions has consequences ,its hard also to raise teenagers,
I am a single mum. My marriage ended in 2022 Dec and life has not been easy. Being brought up without a mum and by a step mum i understand childhood trauma quite well. My marriage ending was not such an easy thing. I am still in the process of healing. Watching this interview gives me more reasons to heal and not project my frustrations to my children. I choose to heal because life must move on. Lets break the cycle
I feel this gen zs are not ready to own up to their mistakes. Her mum was just trying her best to raise a good child. N she was myb being rude or spoilt n she thought life would be easy. Now she is a mother. I wish she will see through her mum's eye n raise a better child. Too much love is spoil n too much strictness is spoiling too.
I'm a daughter of irresponsible mom who left the 4 of us kwa shosh my whole life,well when I compare my mom to your mom I am team your mom I need to hear her side of story she tried tried tried I love your mom (sorry)
Sorry she went through this , however , she should give her mom some grace since she is the parent who stayed , she blames her mom for everything and not once does she acknowledge her dad had a part to play in parenting them weuhh ..Her mom should have done better but she was also a child when she gave birth…
Would you do what her mother did to your child😏 regardless of what you are going through koz I would literally do anything for my kid. Whether I am going through hell or not. The mu alikosea
I hope she heals, she had made a lot of bad decisions and knowing her mums situation she should have lowered her expectations and live within her means though 😢
Listening to you as a single mum has light bulb going on in my head .a culture of parents talking to your kids finding out how they really are is more than important
So many people mention the Equity Wings to Fly program as being so instrumental in their life journey. Amazing work to the people at Equity in charge of it👏🏽
It hurts. This girl talked about the Dad who abandoned them with a smile and does not extend grace to the mum who fed her and provided a roof over her despite her own struggles and hurt
You reckon the dad was offering his last 30 bob when she took the divorce letters, demonstrating love, but mom has been indifferent. The father is an alcoholic, he is sick... the mom is working and there is no evidence on what she does with her money.... These wounds are deep.
Literally my thoughts..the mom was emotionally unavailable for her and provided no love unlike the dad who had nothing but still loved the daughter@@emilyindumwa2710
It really hurts Aki may God help that mum to be strong.this lady is sooo ungrateful.she was rebellious and even run away after being left at her grandmother.her mum was protecting her but she thinks it was being controlled
It's not only about what someone does for you. It's mostly about how that person makes you feel. If someone gives you USD1million but throws it at you and insults you along the way, will u receive it well? Some of you with your pride would even allow it pass you by. She is more understanding of her dad because he made her feel loved. I'm not saying she shouldn't forgive her mum or that she wasn't also a problem child maybe but how you make someone feel matters.
I thought so toooo why blame your mum for your own actions?? U clearly made bad decisions.your mum provided basic needs your Dad Olso always said Hana why only say your mum.but still even after your mum tells u Hana she still found a way to get the money.she gave u 7k and u got a 6 k house.u got pregnant dropped out of school.your mum was broken she expected you to be better.
@LynnNgugi please bring Benjamin Zulu to your show. He teaches that most of the issues we ladies face are related to poor choices of marriage partners- and also getting married too early before you know yourself.
Young girl! All i can hear is me me me! More grace to single mums raising queens and Kings. The father doesnt even get blamed but the mum😢. I understand its her story but may God help this generation
All along when she called, the mother picked the phone and also helped financially. She does not blame the dad who by far was irresponsible, instead she justifies his irresponsibility. At the same time she never obeyed the mother. Single mothers try their best, they only need obedient children and love from these children too.
So the alcoholic dad isnt the source of your trauma, no dad issues bt mama akikosa pesa anaulizwa alikua anafanya nini the four years ulikua highschool? Choices have consequences.. The mother that is taking loans to take you to uni.
Honestly listening to this as a parent to a teenage its rising my blood.Genz arr showing us dust...But God Grace is sufficient so far..Abby enyewe its good to talk it out but it costs nothing being good to yr parent ❤❤
Steve Harvey said a quote he once heard, "you can live without your mother and father, but you can't live without a FRIEND". God bless you KaGrace ❤️❤️
This woman was trouble some .she feels entitled her mom did the best for her. Took her to school, looked for equity scholarship the mom was strong do judge the mom
@amimaowen9659 I agree with you. Mom anauza vegetables na anata apewe everything whenever she asks. If the mom doesn't have... anafaa a hustle harder. Baba yake kama hana nisawa. Why the double standard. Ako na victim mentality. No accountability for the parts she played.
The coming up part even before the introduction has just broken me😢😢 May everyone in distress received solace and peace in their hearts ❤❤now let me sit back and enjoy,its a long one today 😊😊
Ladies when you are in distress don't fuck around that time you need just your self, coz men know how to yake advantange of you at your lowest point. And you're the one who will be left with the budden.
I cried with her the entire interview 😢 my mom has been always there for me including taking care of my baby while I was in campus I can't thank her enough
My mum was a single mum. The most challenging person to live with is a single mum who was divorced. Most are either very bitter, or neglect the kids. I agree with Yu Wambui.divorce is not good.the kids suffer most.
Didn’t she face the same challenge too when she couldn’t afford baby clothes when pregnant? It was her responsibility too as a parent so why can’t she offer the same grace to her mom? And someone studying under Wings To Fly scholarship surely understands that she comes from a needy family….
Sometimes we blame parents so much,instead of us taking the initiative of healing individuals so that we can do better for ourselves and help them become better. Divorce is like Death,But it's also a new beginning to those who want to overcome it.
Who else should we blame? Ukizaa mtoto jua vyenye atagrow siuanze kumpee burdens za kupigia babake simu nikama niyeye alikufanya muoane. Kids must be taken care of nomatter yua divorce or death. Huyo mwanaume angekufa kwani hangelea watoto wake? Asituletee ushenzi huyo mama mwenda
Marriage can be toxic and nobody can be forced to stay in there if it's not working, but the parents should take care of their mental wellness to ensure they don't bring the kids into that mix, moreover the kids have their share of effects caused of not living with both parents as they should, I'm just speaking my mind.
Aaah, aaah... I don't understand why the mum is not receiving any gratitude for the things she did yet the dad receives all the grace. The mum also had an option to walk and leave her with the dad. I hope in that situation she'd be excusing the mum. She talks about her mistakes on a light note but she's biased towards her mum. You need to get real friends who can stand and tell you the truth. Own your mistakes and change your life. As you complain of the bad things, appreciate the things your mum did right, otherwise you'll never heal
I am going through the same thing . I fill the pain of that lady. Infact I brought mine to the USA and he moved away over 7k miles away and left me with his youngest son and I was just establishing home health care business. I needed his help but am glad that we are doing well with the help of caregivers
This lovely lady is a single mom now, i acknowledge her pains, but what about her mom's pain? I bet she has her own story too...they both need therapy and stop the blame games...choices have consequences,
Her mother had a choice to move forward and choose to heal in her own ways, just as this lady did/is doing. No matter what, we all have a responsibility to heal.
The mother should have healed from her own pain and developed a rlship with her child instead of bleeding on her! I've seen AMAZING single mums who raised successful adult children. There's ZERO justification for being an abusive parent!
Its so sad when two grown up parents decides to be selfish enough to not care for their kids😢😢 its sends them to the streets. Sending hugs 🫂 🤗. May you find your path of destiny ✨️ 💖 💓 💛 its mu prayers 🙏
I believe this girl was rebellious for a long time which strained her relationship with her mother. In as much as she's blaming the mum, she played a huge role straining the relationship. The mum bought her a tablet, took a loan to pay her fees...she tried. Remember when our parents said they didn't have money and we didn't believe them? Now that she has a daughter she's raising, let's wait and see how 'perfect' her parenting will be!
No she wasn't rebellious I can attest she partly lived with Nyanya, and we were together only you people could know what you commenting,She mentioned her part as her child but weeeh!!! The other side as siblings is fire huyu aachiwe Mungu tu😢
Eh Lynn I have cried ...happy tears but mostly sad. yet she has taught me to be a better mother to my three daughters. to learn to apologise. Abigael may the Lord open the floodgates of blessings. Could you let her know she is doing great? You are doing great work for the Lord and the next generation. May you never lack.
From this story i feel that the girl was disrespecting the mother and demeaning her ...its good to appreciate the little thing we get from our parent ..that small effort she made its worthy ...parent are struggling ...i dont think there is a parent who would refuse to support her child when she have it....coz the same way she struggled when she was pregnant the same way her mother struggled to raise her ...
Parents go through so much and they do not share with the kids . We call it shielding them but it leads to children making assumptiions which could be wrong .
What a brilliant girl!! Go, Abby, go!❤ I'm a mother of two daughters and grandma of a little one. I love the three to bits. I hope I haven't let them down too much.
You are doing a good job Ma'Ariah. You are courageous and brave for sharing your story. I have really cried because your story is very similar to mine. I'm 23 years and a mum of a 11 months old baby girl. My parents have caused me alot of emotional baggage which i feel have contributed to my current situation. My mum is a teacher on PNP terms and my father a police officer. Dad is an alcoholic, has been one since i can remember my childhood. Mum has always told me that i am the reason she got into a toxic marriage. To her, dad ruined her life mind you i have younger siblings. Fast forward to 2009 my mum and dad decide to part ways. It was bad. Since dad used to change stations regularly, most of his household staff was at our place. When they parted ways, dad came to get his things. I remember that morning mum told us not to go to school early because she feared for her safety. I was only 9 years at that time. After ensuring that dad had got his stuff, she sent us to school alone. As the firstborn, i was required to ensure my siblings got to their respective classes. On the way to school, i was really anxious because i knew i'd probably get punished. It was around 10am. My younger sibling's classtr started interrogating me as soon as i dropped them off to class. I just broke down and the teacher still forced me to speak up. I am a bright girl but my grades started dropping. I was a broken girl. My mum later on started asking us especially me to call my dad for schlfees. I would hear him drunk telling me to tell my mother to go back to him ama hatalipa fees. I would hear their nasty exchanges and heated arguments. I started refusing to call dad and mum would call him when he was drunk and pretended to be me. She would ask for schlfees. I dont really know whether he would send. Long story short, just before i sat for my KCPE, they got back together. They hid it from us for sometime but after getting my admission letter to high school, mum broke the news to us. She stated that the main reason they got back is that she couldnt afford my high school fees. They even did a wedding. Mum had really poisoned me against my father hence i have never had the courage to call him dad ever again. She made me feel like a burden because what do you mean you're getting back because you couldnt pay my fees? I remember dad only paid form 1 fees the rest, they had to fight and at the end of it all, mum had to pay it herself. I completed high school and joined university in September 2019. The first semester was okay then COVID hit. UON started online classes which i barely managed to attend. I was really depressed since i knew i deserve a better life. I decided to just brave up, leave home and look for a job to sustain me and allow me attend my classes. Luckily, I got a casual job at a mission hospital. I explained my situation and they accomodated me to study and work. I did the job and studied online until 2022 when i had to do my practicum and go back to schl for physical classes. I used all my savings to facilitate my practicum and going back to school. I asked mum for help in September 2022 when i was at rock bottom. her answer has always been the same, 'ambia babako'. I had no one to turn to. I spent most days looking for job but couldnt find one. I had learnt Graphic Design but it wasnt sustainable. November 2022, i was pregnant. This has made me rethink and restrategise. Its actually 1 am as i write this and i know i should see a therapist ASAP, for me and my daughter. I shall revisit this. thank you
I intentionally left my daughters dad because of his alcoholism and the issues that arise from it. I've fully responsible for all her expenses for the last 7 years. Every so often I feel resentful that he got to live his life free of responsibilities, but I've never shown my daughter anything but love. I sometimes have to remind her that there are things she cannot have because I can't afford it. I know the pain and anger are real but it's always good to put everything in context and choose your words wisely.
32:17 'No one has ever asked me...' but Lynn has. Lynn your platform is therapeutic and changing lifes. Be blessed for all the lifes you've touched and continue impacting.
Weeeee, this is so heavy.I have cried the entire session I can only wish that history doesn't repeat itself. The father was never there so is the baby dady. I pray that you get a therapist so that you dont bleed on your child. These things happen unconsciously. You only need a small trigger and wond Ariah. An emotionally stable mum will raise a stable daughter. Girl you are so brilliant: Very articulate and eloquent. Hugs baby girl.
I think it's because she lived with the mother for the longest time when she was young and she developed negative altitude towards her because of beating her
Is the mother putting effort to be understood. The girl child didn’t choose to be borne of her mother. Her mother chose to bring her to the world. This her responsibility to protect and shield her child.
Kaweka positive sana kwa mama ..japo kuwa yuko na makosa ya kuwaambia si jukumu lake kuwalea alikua anatoa hasira zake kwa watoto na mara nyengine ni depression kwani si rahisi kulea watoto peke yako...na amejitahid kuhakikisha hawalali njaa na fee analipa ..vipi utasema hakupendi ..ni kumuelewa tu na warekebishe walipokosea na story isikilizwe upande wa pili..
I feel so sorry for her and she needs a lot of healing but I feel the mother was trying her best. In her own words, they never lacked food or a roof over their shoulders. It's possible that all the money she got from her veges business went towards food, shelter and clothing and that she couldn't afford the 120/. The father is who needs all the blame here for not meeting his responsibilities as a parent. I hope as she grows older in her own motherhood journey she is able to extend that grace to her mum. The parents that stayed do a lot of emotional, financial and physical labour while fighting their own issues internally
When we livd with toxicity it becomes difficult to see things properly and pattrepeat themselves. During this whole process has the mother taught her the basics of life ,saving,relationship issues etc. Moms lets take toxicity out it only harms our children aand cause cycles to repeat themselves. Girl i feel you
Been listening this in bits,I feel that she is just bitter and projecting it on her mom... Because if mzae had a job that even had retirement package..why would she choose to blame her mum a mamamboga over someone on payslip
Unless you experience life with a bitter parent, no one can understand her.... Am a victim of a very bitter parent but I thank God I decided to take control of my life.....I chose to forgive her and I love her so much but even now, I still experience bitter moments and so sad but emotionally draining and painful moments...
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA IS REAL EXPECIALLY FROM A SINGLE PARENT, MINE I HAVE HEALED OVER TIME COZ I DONT WANT TO PROJECT MY PAIN TO MY KIDS. ONE THING IS THAT BEFORE UR A MUM UR A GIRL UR WOMAN AND PPL NEED TO HEAL THAT GIRL BEFORE BEING PARENTS. ITS NOT EASY BUT A DAY AT A TYM AS U TRUST THE PROCESS
At least you are a mother now,hope it will not come back to you some day,after struggling to give your child the best life single handedly and later they turn out to support the absentee father Hope you will enjoy
@@squishycirusure Abigail is my blood sister’s daughter and everyone especially her grandmother, her mother tried to plead her not to go to nairobi but she abused her mother and left. So whatever that happened to her is as a result of dis-obedience. Her mum now is in great pain
me having a toxic parent upto now it haunts me to be honest thus gurl has passed thru alot as a child some parents traumitize their children but me being a mother l broke that pattern and my child us safe and loved l can really relate to her some parents are very narcissistic
I told my story in tuko and the toxic mother came too and told her story ppl started saying that i dont respect her and so many things...if uve never had a toxic single mother u cant understand 😢😢😢😢
My mother tungekosea anatuona war kama ile ya Iraq. Hizi vitu mnasema toxic parents ni mambo ya kudekzwa tu. My mother would even evict my brother from the house and my brother would spend weeks living in the forest, mnasema nini niyinyi ati toxic parents. Mlikuwa mnadekezwa tuu! But you know what, I am glad my mother did all that, because she was alone and she had to make her voice clear of what she expected of us. Nimerealize watoto wengi wakilelewa na mama alone, they become tough headed like shiet. So unless the mother akuwe mkali, hao watoto wataishi kumuona kama joke. For example nikuulize, kwa hii interview, you expected this girl's mother acheke na yeye after kupata ball? I mean that would be so overburdening mathe amestruggle amemlea from childhood, akidhani mzigo imepungua, hii nongwe ya msichana tena inaongeza mzigo ingine ya mtoto! What a poor empty-headed choice!
Lyn, I do not know what emotions to have over here! Listening thru her story, I both listened to what she said and heard what she did not say. It is painful to say the least. To some extent, I relate with her. Lyn, I grew up in a dysfunctional family and raised by narcissist parents. I thought I had healed from the hurt and stuff but every time a divorce matter, child(ren) maintenance mater lands on my table, I break down (of course out of the office) because the stories I hear from the clients bring back the raw emotions to the surface. Nonetheless, life does not always give what one bargains for. I have learned to heal and walk the journey to healing. I have learnt to unlearn what I learnt growing up and learn what is right. Lyn, narcissists will never say sorry, in the first place, they don't know that they are sick and they think that what they do is what should be done. I had to forgive myself for hating them to give room for healing. My advise to her over and above therapy is that she must be willing and ready to face the hard truth that is proven in the realms of psychology and spirituality that the cycle of divorce and/or single parenting and that of narcissism are often repeated from generation to generation but that the same can be broken and this requires one to be very intentional about them. Chances of her taking up her mom's qualities and pass them over to her daughter are very high though unintentionally. Secondly, she needs to introduce her child to her father early enough for a bond to be created to avert any chances of her being totally separated from him completely and be unable to bond in the future. The journey begins first with her healing and forgiving herself and her parents, always remember that non-forgiveness always holds one back from progress, one keeps going through circles and circles. Lyn, you need to bring someone who can explain so well on the effects of narcism on parenting...
Knowing how her mum grew up would be a good start. She got married at 19, weh tena Church! Life is clearly beyond the raised heart beats that new love creates.I feel like the neglect arrested her psychological growth. The baby that was nurtured shows up strongly. She may have to reparent herself and pick herself up and be responsible of her actions fully.
To be sincere l miss my mom strictness looking back she waz just looking out for me because she loved me soo much. For you gal wish you heal and forgive your mum and let it goo Sai we pia ni mzazi
I have grown not knowing motherly love, I thank God my grandmother brought me to be a person I am today ,how I wish she was here with me today to celebrate my little achievement, but I promise to stand for my sons at thick and thin😮
Listening to this young gal i can really relate ...all she lacked was love n probably a shoulder to lyn on...i grew up with almost a similar story got it early marrige out of frustrations which broke terribly n all i chose was to give my babies all the love that i never got ...this gal feels her mum shld have come through for her coz tell me why your own mom wont visit you for all the 4 yrs of your high school yet she has been relieved the burden of school feel n all the stuff honestly!! Personally heri niende ata nifulie msee ....again how does my own gal give birth n i silently sit working at a hosp (be it a casual labourer) ata thao siezi pata for my child?? The dad listened to her which she needed most n thats why she doesn't blame him as such ...
Gal don't worry we are raised in the same environment and we have overcome all situations just try and bring up your daughter in a good environment difference from yours, heal otherwise life is short I came to understand so have peace with yourself mamaa
The mother had her own demons to battle like dealing with an irresponsible alcoholic partner. She tried her best with Abigail. Took a loan asome. Advice abigail is a blesed girl. She needs to embrace forgiveness, she forgives herself, her parents, baby daddy and life. Let her make peace with her situation, let her embrace being grateful. The same way she appreciated the 20bob for pampers. A grateful soul will receive more positive progress. Yaliopita si ndwele, therapy may help but even if you never get an apology from your paros let it go. Chanel away of going back to school and fulfil your dreams. Abigail, its your life now. Rewrite it for your future generation. Jipende zaidi.
@@MyJOSE2013 mgala muue na haki umpe...there's no perfect parent out there. The day you learn to forgive and let go it's the day you get your liberty. We forgive because of our own sanity and peace of mind even if they don't deserve it. Living with bitterness kills one slowly and that bitterness if not dealt with you pass it over to your kids. It's a cycle. Kill the bitterness before it consumes your soul and kills it. And then that void fill up with gratitude . Life changes . Some of us speak from experience and passing knowledge along to what worked and made us conquer some deep rooted pains brought about by traditional parenting styles where being told sorry was a mystery , then telling you they love you was a mystery, ulikua unajijazia na matendo..now we raise children in good positive loving atmosphere because we worked on ourself first and chose a different path than our predecessors. Now the same parents make very good grandparents because when the time was right we talked about this issues and the love is now transfered to the grandkids. No one is perfect
Am a parent of three but I think matters of your kids should be your first priority no matter what your are going through.. like attending school meetings and visiting day s surely don't miss it hurts unless you have an emergency or you're sick
I was brought up by my both parents, but none visited during the four years I was in high school. Although it was difficult for me, I never hated them but I understood our condition at home. Our girl failed to understand her mother's struggles.
You're blaming this girl for nothing, it's really painful when parents don't show love to their children. Abby lacked love, and that's what she was looking for
